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Mikell's Ferengi Rules of Acqustition Page

All Known Rules of Acqustiton

1. Once you get their money, never give it back.

2. One person's secret is another person's opportunity.

3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.

4. A woman wearing clothes is like a man in the kitchen.

5. You can tell a great deal about a man from his shoes.

6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.

7. Keep your ears open.

8. Only a fool passes up a business opportunity.

9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.

10. Greed is eternal.

11. Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper.

12. Anything worth selling is worth selling for twice.

13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.

14. Keep your family close; keep your latinum closer.

15. Small print leads to large risk.

16. A deal is a deal...until a better one comes along

17. A contract, is a contract, is a contract... but only between Ferengi.

18. A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.

19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.

20. Only give money to people you know you can steal from.

21. Never place friendship above profit.

22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.

23. Dignity can never replace latinum.

24. Latinum can't buy happiness, but you can sure have a blast renting it.

25. There's always a way out.

26. As the customers go, so goes the wise profiteer.

27. There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.

28. Time's an asset.

29. Your goods are now my goods.

30. Exploitation begins at home.

31. Never make fun of a Ferengi's mother, make fun of somthing he cares about instead.

32. When you see a good deal, jump on it.

33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.

34. War is good for business.

35. Peace is good for business.

36. A Ferengi without a head for business has no future.

37. Everything has a price.

38. When no appropriate Rule applies, make one up!

39. Friendship is temporary; profit is forever.

40. She can touch your lobes, but never your Latinum.

41. Profit is its own reward.

42. What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine too.

43. There is no point in being injured or ill if you can not profit from it.

44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.

45. Ambition knows no family.

46. Make your shop easy to find.

47. Never trust anyone whose suit is nicer than your own.

48. The bigger the smile the sharper the knife.

49. Everything is worth to somebody.

50. Gratitude can bring on generosity.

52. Never ask when you can take.

57. Good customers are as rare as latinum, treasure them.

58. There is no substitute for success.

59. Free advice is seldom cheap.

60. Keep your lies consistent.

62. The riskier the road the greater the profit.

64. Win or lose, there's Huyperian beetle snuff.

65. Huyperian beetle snuff may be fun for you and me, but it's no fun for the beetles.

68. Ear stroking will get you anything.

69. Ferengi are not responsible the stupidity of other races.

72. Never trust your customers.

73. If it gets you profit, sell your own mother.

75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Latinum.

76. Every once in a while declare peace -- It confuses the hell out of your enemies.

77. It's better to swallow your pride than to lose your profit.

78. When the going gets tough, the tough change the Rules.

79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.

82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.

84. A friend is not a friend if he asks for a discount.

85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.

86. Don't let these rules stand in the way of profit.

87. A friend in need means three times the profit.

89. Ask not what your profits can do for you; ask what you can do for your profits.

94. Females and finances don't mix.

95. Expand or die.

96. For every Rule, there is an equal and opposite Rule. (except when there's not)

97. Enough... is never enough.

98. Act without delay! The sharp knife cuts quickly.

99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.

100. If they take your first offer, you either asked too little or offered too much.

101. The only value of a collectible is what you can get somebody else to pay for it.

102. Nature decays, but Latinum is forever.

103. Sleep can interfere with... "profits"

104. Fill a desparate need with your expensive product, then mark it up 500%.

105. Don't trust anyone who trusts you.

106. There is no honor in poverty.

107. A warranty is valid only if they can find you.

109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.

110. Faith moves mountains... of inventory.

111. Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.

112. Never have sex with the boss' sister.

113. Always have sex with the boss.

115. The best contract always has a lot of fine print.

116. There's always a catch.

117. You can't free a fish from water.

119. Never judge a customer by the size of his wallet...sometimes, good things come in small packages.

121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.

123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Latinum.

125. Count it.

127. Stay neutral in conflict so that you can sell supplies to both sides.

135. Never trust a beneficiary.

139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.

141. Only fools pay retail.

142. There's no such thing as an unfair advantage.

143. Risk is part of the game-- play it for all it's worth.

144. There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.

146. Necessity, The mother of invention. Profit is the father.

152. A lie is a way to tell the truth to someone who doesn't know.

153. Sell the sizzle, not the steak.

162. Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.

169. Competition and fair play are mutually exclusive.

171. Blood is thicker than water, and latinum is thicker than both.

172. Chances aren't what they used to be.

177. Know your enemies...but do business with them always.

181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.

188. A fool and his money is the best customer.

189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.

190. Hear all, trust nothing.

191. A Ferengi waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.

192. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.

194 It's always good business to know about new customers before they walk in your door.

200. If you're going to have to endure, make yourself comfortable.

202. The justification of profit is profit.

203. New customers are like razor-backed Greeworms-- They can be succulent, but sometimes they bite back!

204. It takes a Ferengi to cheat a Ferengi.

208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.

211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success... don't hesitate to step on them.

214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.

215. Sometimes what you get free.

216. Never gamble with an empath.

217. You can't free a fish from water.

218. Always know what you're buying.

219. Possession is 11/10 of the law.

223. Beware the man who doesn't make time for oo-mox.

229. Latinum lasts longer than lust.

231. There's a sucker born every minute... be sure you're the first to find each one.

236. You can't buy fate.

239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.

241. Never trust a hardworking employee.

242. More is good... all is better.

255. A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.

256. Accountants do not play the game; they only keep the score.

260. Life's not fair. How else would you turn a profit?

261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.

262. A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on.

263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for latinum

265. The customer is always right

266. When in doubt, lie.

267. If you believe it, they believe it.

270. In business deals, a disruptor can be almost as important as a calculator.

273. Never trust a hardworking employee.

277. Anything worth fighting for is worth hiding from.

284. Deep down, everyone's a Ferengi.

285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.

286. When Morn leaves, it's all over.

299. Whenever you exploit someone, it never hurts to thank them. That way, it's easier to exploit them the next time.

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This is a collection of all known rules of acqustition. They have been compiled from many sorces such as the TV show, comic books, and I even made one or two up. I have taken some of the unnumbered rules and given the numbers.

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