Seven: I require further input.

Tuvok: I am willing to assist you, if I am able.

Seven: According to the report of your last physical examination, you are.

Tuvok: I am intrigued as to the input that would necessitate such an inquiry.

Seven: The information concerns the delivery mechanism of humanoid meiotic cellular division. I have assimilated all the relevant data in the anthro-biological files however it is insufficient.

Tuvok: I would suggest that the next logical course of action would be a study of relevant texts in other files. Your chosen topic of investigation is a major theme in the writing of the majority of known species.

Seven: I have done so, including fictional works purporting to cover the same topic. I downloaded some useful input however it was concealed behind a substantial amount of repetition and needless verbiage.

Tuvok: Nevertheless such input was discovered.

Seven: Indeed it was and if I had remained attached to the Borg Collective my study would have been complete. However since my disconnection I can no longer accomplish the tasks I set myself with full efficiency on my first attempt. I find that a certain amount of ‘practice’ is required for my neural system to adapt to any new procedure. As this new procedure is no different than any other it is logical to assume ‘practice’ is mandatory before perfection may be achieved.

Tuvok: Mr. Kim is annoyingly fond of an axiom: ‘Practice…

Seven: I am cognisant of it. Please do not repeat it.

Seven: The mechanics of such an experiment require that I have aid. I have considered and rejected possible alternatives. I have concluded that you are the only suitable candidate and I therefore request your participation.

Tuvok: I am hesitant to accede to your wishes in this regard. Would you expand upon your logic in the elimination of alternatives? Perhaps another avenue lies unconsidered.

Seven: I do not think it likely, my analysis was quite thorough. However I will consent. The full report would take approximately three hours forty-two minutes to communicate orally. I could transmit my findings to your quarters to allow you the time for sufficient study?

Tuvok: Unnecessary, it would be sufficient to hear a summary.

Seven: Very well. I resolved that the number of potential solutions were three: a) an inanimate, mechanical or electronic object, b) a holodeck character, or c) a humanoid crewmember.

Tuvok: I would concur.

Seven: Dismissing a), I concluded that, while such a technique has been documented it would fail to fulfil the primary criteria for the experiment.

Tuvok: Indisputably.

Seven: Dismissing b), I concluded that, while tempting, my control over the subject would ultimately invalidate the results I acquired. Finally, in relation to c), I concluded that, with the proper selection criteria in place, it would prove acceptable.

Seven: Pursuant to your selection in particular, after examining the crew roster and adding the evidence of both records and my personal memory engrams I am satisfied that you alone would retain the scientific objectivity that would be required both during and after such an event.

Tuvok: That is possibly correct, however you have failed to factor into your evaluation both the peculiarities of the Vulcan mating cycle and my marital status.

Seven: Such matters are irrelevant.

Tuvok: I do not consider them irrelevant. If you require evidence as to the probity of my assertion then you should also include my inaction in pursuing related activity since our arrival in the delta quadrant. Propriety forbids that I accept your proposition.

Seven: Propriety is illogical in this case. I cannot allow myself to remain without this input. I submit these facts to rebut your declaration. First, Vulcans are always capable of engaging in intimate relations, even if you are not compelled to by your bio-chemistry. Second, it is unlikely that you will be able to return to Vulcan by the time of Pon farr and so you will be forced to take another mate as will your wife. Extramarital relations are therefore inevitable.

Tuvok: I object to your phrasing.

Seven: You are correct. Extramarital relations are merely highly probable. The timing of such an event should, logically, make no difference. Third, it is your duty as chief of security to help any crewmember in distress. And fourth, I am now unbuckling your pants.

Tuvok: Seven?

Seven: I am active.

Tuvok: I wish to query the experiment’s results.

Seven: Continue.

Tuvok: The friction created between my digits on your clitoral nerve was not sufficient to provoke a sudden excretion of vaginal fluids. In addition, I cannot detect any of the usual physical symptoms of the aforementioned reaction. It is illogical therefore that you appeared to experience such a sensation when there is no correlation with the other available evidence.

Seven: Is it your hypothesis that my actions were a component of a deception that I intended to practice upon you?

Tuvok: It is.

Seven: Then it is my conclusion that in attempting such deceit I have progressed further than my preliminary established goal limit. I have achieved a level of sophistication previously only mastered by human females in the 20^th and 21^st centuries before the male intercourse competency tests were made mandatory in 2116. Today such fraud is practised only by actresses in adult holo-movies and among the bedfellows of Lieutenant Paris. You have my thanks Commander, your performance remained adequate throughout.

Tuvok: Hmph.