(Threads of Fate)

"Now... exactly why the hell should I do this?" The pale haired man frowned, chewing unhappily on the cigarette he had forgotten long ago. A small cloud of ash fell to the floor, causing the red haired woman to frown lightly. "You're such a slob, did I raise you like that?" A delicately raised eyebrow as her green eyes glinted with wicked humor, hidden behind escaping strands of wildly fiery hair. "You hardly raised me at all, mother, besides I've never known anyone more prone to chaos and untidiness than you." The man sighed, hazelnut brown eyes going towards the ceiling in a gesture of capitulation. There was obviously no way out of this. "Don't call me mother, it makes me feel far too old." A girlish giggle as she eyed her son, realizing that he must be nearing his thirties now. Which made her... iiihk! "And you must do this because otherwise things are gonna get even more confusing than they are! Do you have ANY idea how many people you have been and are currently involved with? Don't you think they have the right to know?" "Don't remind me..." A pained groan as he flicked the stub to the side, trying to think of a way out of this. "This is nuts! Most of them already know about each other, and those that don't... you realize that they are gonna kill me for this, right?" Pleading for mercy now, which only got the slim and wiry woman to giggle more. "Don't be so fussy... how long have you promised to make an update on current events? That thing you've got there is ages old, not to mention boring!" So indignant now, bejeweled hand pointing at him in accusation. "Alright... you're not gonna quit bitching about it until I get it done, right?" Almost growling, pulling up another cigarette to try to calm his frayed nerves. "I'll do it, but why this way? Why not simply put the whole shit up and let people sort it out themselves?" Suddenly his scarred hand had started itching, and he just KNEW that it would not stop. Typical of his luck. "It is either this dear boy, or going through hundreds of hundreds of pages, correcting grammar and spelling errors, naming characters, and generally making sense of all the twisted side stories and timelines... do you fancy doing that, 'cause I sure as hell don't." She looked towards the huge pile of paper to the side, most of it seemed to have fallen off the small desk, slipping underneath it, into the shadows. The shadows had grabbed some of the more explicit scenes and seemed to read them with great interest, chuckling to themselves. "Oh..." The pale haired man ran his fingers through his unruly hair, looking at the mess. "I guess that's a lost cause then..." For a moment he pondered if the shadows could be talked into organizing it, but then they'd probably just stick to the dirty scenes, he knew where their tastes lay. And he certainly did not want THAT plastered all over the net. "Fuck this, this is a fucking nightmare... I'll do it then." "Good boy!" Her wide grin was decidedly wicked as she slipped down from the chair where she had been perched, skipping over to the taller man, ruffling his hair affectionately. "But watch your language, some of the people out there are a bit touchy about things like that. Especially those Americans..." She mouthed the last word, glancing over her shoulder. "Stop that, it's enough of a mess anyway..." He tried to straighten it out, failing miserably. "And if they don't like my language they can fuck off. This ain't no fairy tale for kids anyway. If they have a problem with my language, how they hell will they react to what I say?" He shook his head, sparks flying from his cigarette. "And I'm not American, never was and never will be." A low growl as he stalked over to the desk, scrawling something on a piece of paper. "So better get this over with..." He quickly nailed the sign to the wall, stepping back to observe his handiwork. "No children under the age of 17..." The woman intoned quietly, a slim finger scratching the edge of her nose. "Mature content, language, male/male relationships, general angst, a lot of abuse, probably enough shit here to offend a lot of people." She laughed, clapping her hands together. "You really think that people younger than that are going to stay away?" He shrugged, letting some smoke trickle out through his nose. "Don't know, don't care. I warned them, didn't I? What am I gonna do? Beat them off with a stick? Fuck, this'll probably be banned sooner or later anyway, people like to complain a lot. And life has always treated me like shit, why should things go better now?" A long, deep sigh from the woman as she resisted the temptation to just lean her head in her hands. "How typical. Oh well, I guess I can't keep you from bitching about things." He chuckled, a wry smile gracing his lips. "Damn right! Better men than you have tried that... Let's get this over with now, shall we?" She nodded, pulling out a small pile of faded pictures. "Sure... let's start with you..." "Me?" He frowned, looking down at the faded picture. "You gotta be kidding." "I am so not kidding..." She waved the picture in front of his nose. "Most people probably know you, but what if some poor clueless soul wanders in here?" "Like that is ever going to happen..." He muttered, chewing impatiently on the cigarette. "But you're next then..." "No problems with that sweetie-pie! I love the limelight..." She giggled, pouting seductively at him. "Mother... stop that..." He groaned silently, trying to ignore the now quite hyper woman. "Lets get started."