| My Story Some of you...if you are heartless and inmature...will find humor in this story. If something on this page tickles your funnybone, then by all means, please keep it to yourself because I have had enough to last me a lifetime. I'm sorry if I don't share your enthusiasm. It has taken me years to tell this story because of the embarrassment I suffer from and the fear of ridicule. In fact, my doctor didn't even know about my problems until about three and a half years ago. I was too ashamed to ask. It was only until I went on the internet and started researching did I find that I was not alone. It all started when I was around nine or ten years old. I began to develope dark hair at the corners of my mouth (so yes, if that strikes you as funny...please leave my page now).. Being that I have pale skin it was very noticable. I was constantly taunted and made fun of. I had very few friends and was the target of alot of bullies. My own mother, when getting angry with me, would make less than kind comments. This also extended to other family members and sometimes the couple of friends that I did have. I was so distraught that I ended up changing schools. Determined that I would not suffer the same torment, I discovered tweezers. This worked for a while, though as I got older to my horror I also began to grow dark hairs on my chin and neck. I was then introduced to bleaching cream. I was promised all the while by my mother that I was going to begin recieving electrolysis treatments. This of course, never came. The more the years passed, the harder the problem got to maintain. When the hair was in the process of growing back, I had dark areas at the corners of my mouth and chin. It severly effected my social life. I had to wear three layers of very carefully applied makeup. This means I could not go swimming or get my face wet around other people. I had to constantly carry a makeup bag just in case my makeup got smudged (which was a problem especially in the summertime when I would sweat. The makeup, depending on how hot it was also seemed to melt). As a teenager, when spending the night with friends I had to sleep in makeup. I then had to beat them waking up and touch myself up in the bathroom so that they would not discover my secret. Later in adulthood, it was a problem kissing guys because sometimes they would smudge my makeup. When I spent the night with a guy I would find myself in the bathroom a few times a night checking or retouching my makeup. When someone came by unexpectedly, if I didn't have on my makeup I wouldn't answer the door. I wouldn't even go to a gas station or check my mail without wearing makeup. When out in public, even though I WAS made up I always felt like people were starring at me. Which of course kept me running to public bathrooms. For the first two years of my marriage, my husband never saw me without makeup. Luckily, I have a very understanding husband that is very sympathetic towards the problem. It still takes me two hours to get myself together before going anywhere due to putting on my "mask" so that I can look normal. A little over three years ago I finally had the courage to mention this to my doctor because I was so fed up with feeling like a freak and being too embarrassed to even go out to my mailbox without makeup. He ran a few tests and determined that I had PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome). The unfortunate effects of this condition are excessive face and or body hair, sometimes obesity, depression, diabetes/insulin resistance, acne, abnormal menstral cycles, darkened areas about the face, underarms, and under the breasts, and in some cases infertility. Not to mention the massive amount of emotional damage due to the physical problems tied with this disorder. Unfortunatly, there is no cure for this disorder. Only the symptoms themselves can be treated (blood sugar medicine, losing weight through a special diet, etc). Which is where the problems come in. I have been researching laser electroloysis. This treatment is VERY costly (anywhere from $400-$1000 dollars PER treatment...and it can take as many as three).. Though my problem causes lots of emotional issues, my insurance will not cover the treatments because they are considered cosmetic. This problem is no different than most facial deformities and it restricts me in alot of the same manner. All I want is to be normal and not feel like some damn freak of nature. I have been trying to save money, but I work for the state and unfortunately VA does not like to pay their workers fair wages and they don't believe in cost of living raises for the state facility that I work in (I work with the autistic and mentally disabled).. If you have any similar stories/problems or if you know anyone that has those same symptoms...please bring this disorder to their attention. Over 45% of the women with PCOS develope diabetes before or in their 40's. Don't hesitate to share your story with me.If you feel that you would like to help me in any way (and be sincere about it)...please contact me at: the_antisocial_faery@hotmail.com |