Number 10: A Shopping RANT

Cue theme music: "Basket Case", Green Day

Background: Yours Truly and Shopping Buddy went on a spree on a Sunday. YT found a nice pants suit and tried it on. The jacket was perfect-it fit like it was tailored. Yay! And it went nicely with jeans, too. But the pants...there were 3 pairs on the rack: a 4, a 6, and a really big pair with the tag ripped out. So YT asks when they'll have more. Oh, shipments come in 4 days a week; come back in a few days. YT buys the jacket and leaves, returning Thursday to see the same three pairs of pants on the rack. Hello? Oh, there're some boxes in back that will be unpacked after closing; come back tomorrow. (Grumble, grumble.) Fine. The curtain rises Monday morning on the following email conversation:

[Yours Truly] Oh, I should tell you about my adventure at the Limited on Friday...

[Shopping Buddy] Uh-oh. Still no pants in real people sizes, as opposed to negative 2?

[YT] We-e-e-ell, yes and no. They still only had three sizes: wee, still fairly wee, and freakin' HUGE! So when will you get another shipment in like you've promised me the last two times I was in here? Oh, tomorrow? Yeah, right. So I asked them to check the dummies. No, not the sales clerks: the mannequins. Well, lo and behold, the dummy's wearing a size 10, whaddya know. So I-very reasonably, I thought-asked to try on the 10. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm told. We can't take clothes off the displays. Why not? Because the manager says so.

Okay, my ire is up just a tad. I explain that this is the THIRD time I've been in to buy a pair of pants to go with the jacket I've ALREADY BOUGHT and would you please just let me TRY ON the pants to see if they fit. Well, the sales lady goes off to find the manger who comes and explains the WHOLE THING over-we don't take stuff off the display. BUT-and this is the kicker-these tan pants over here are the EXACT SAME STYLE and would I like to try on a 10, 12, whatever to see what fits?

YES!!! (arggggg...) Why couldn't...oh, never mind.

So I try on the 10s, which fit perfectly. Like the jacket, it's as if they were tailored for me. So I come back and ask, can you hold a size 10 for me when the next shipment comes in or (something they'd never mentioned before) order these from another store? Oh, no, the manager says. We don't think we'll be *getting* another shipment in-these are a specialty item, and they only ship once.

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So I looked at her, looked at the dummy, and about this time she must have figured out I was a tad miffed, because she said: Tell you what-just this once, I'll sell you the pants off the display. Which is really odd because we NEVER put 10s on floor models, usually it's a 2 or a 4 or...

I tuned her out, paid for the pants, and bought myself books to calm down because friends don't let friends drive home in those sorts of moods and I consider all of my limbs to be good friends indeed.

Anyhow, I have a really cute pants suit and that's all you really wanted to know, probably. Ah, well.

[SB] (Laughter)