| Wants and Desires Part III Chapter 1
After the better part of an hour, Jax found a dry cleaner still open. He got his tux out of the back seat and went inside. There was a line and Jax figured he must not be the only one grateful for this business’ hours. He asked if he could have it cleaned by five the next day when he reached the head of the line. ‘I’m sorry sir, we have a minimum twenty-four hour waiting period and return to give us enough time to clean everyone’s clothes in the order they came. I can have this ready by six, tomorrow but I won’t have it ready any sooner.’ ‘That will have to do.’ He had left Brenda a note telling her where he was so she wouldn’t worry. Of course, she wouldn’t worry, only in his fantasies. ‘And you have to pay in advance for next day service.’ Jax sighed and asked, ‘How much?’ ‘Thirty-five for the jacket and pants, twenty-five for the dress shirt and cummerbund.’ Jax did some quick figuring in his head, ‘Sixty dollars?! That’s too much.’ ‘How many dry cleaners are open on Sundays and after five p.m.?’ Jax handed over the money and started entertaining thoughts of how to make Jerry pay as the attendant handed him his ticket and wished him a good day. When he was on the road, his fantasy changed from one of Jerry and revenge to one of Brenda and passion. He thought of what it would be like if he came home and she rushed into his arms. He would kiss her till all thoughts of Jerry were out of his mind and would carry her to the bedroom. His fantasies continued as he made his way home. A few times he squirmed in his seat as they turned hot. He couldn’t wait to get home and make his fantasy a reality. Then he remembered, it would never be a reality. There would never be anything between Brenda and him again. The pressure between his legs relaxed and he tried not to think of how lonely his life was. He was still in love with Brenda but, she wasn’t going to come to him. He wondered if maybe Jerry was right and he should look for someone else. Jerry being right ?!? - he never thought he would hear those words, much less think them himself. Loneliness was robbing him of his common sense.
Chapter 2
Brenda was sitting on the edge of her bed. She wanted to sleep but her thoughts wouldn’t be ignored. She thought herself a fool, anyone else would have moved on with their life, loved someone else. Only she couldn’t learn that lesson. She had vowed never to run back to Sonny. She loved him with all that she was but love could only go so far. Once stressed beyond the breaking pint, it snapped. But, her love for Sonny was still there, against all the odds and pain Sonny caused her, it survived. It was stronger now then she ever remembered. She never saw her son, Jax rushed her back to the states as soon as it was safe to move her. She hadn’t fully woken till she was in the hospital’s recovery room in Port Charles. Jax, Robin, and Lois visited her often but she was filled with loneliness and an aching emptiness. She never thought herself a mother figure but, she knew she would have done anything for her son if only she had been given the chance. She could imagine what he looked like. Whatever she felt for Sonny, she knew a child by them would be beautiful. He would have curly hair and dimples, Sonny’s dimples. He would look like a tiny version of his father, she would always be reminded of Sonny when she looked in her son’s soulful eyes. She would gladly live with the memory to have her son back. She didn’t notice the door creak when Sonny decided to check on her. She looked so sad his Brenda. She would always be his Brenda. The nightmare of Brenda taking Lily’s place in the car that killed her still continued to plague him. He remembered many nights he would wake up, his breathing and heartbeat erratic, and reach out for Brenda only to find a cold spot beside him. His insides filled with fear when he thought that it had happened, that she was really dead. Then, his sleep numbed mind remembered the choice he had to make. A part of him would be grateful that she was somewhere alive, even if it wasn’t with him. But, a larger part was angry and hurt when he simply reached out to feel her near and was forced to remember the sacrifice his heart was forced to make. When he found out about the child, he couldn’t believe it at first. It had to be someone else’s child, the child didn’t exist, many possibilities much more acceptable than she just left him to die filled his mind. The source of the information wasn’t as reliable as he would have like but, that was to be expected considering where the informants were placed. The entire Jack’s clan would have a fit if they knew, hidden away among loyal and honest employees of their company,there were those loyal to Corinthos keeping and ear and eye open to anything that would seem of interest or importance to their true boss. Mostly there to keep an eye on Brenda where his bodyguards couldn’t go, they had found much information valuable to Sonny. The latest were the letters from the hospital were his son was born. As his rage built and climaxed, he found it very easy to believe Brenda and Jax had left the child to die. He felt it wasn’t beneath Jax to not care for anyone bred of the Corinthos line. But, as time passed and he had was able to think more clearly about the situation, he found it hard to believe that Brenda had a direct part in the death of their son. This, to him, was the ultimate betrayal. Yes, he could see how she could despise him, loathe that she ever let him touch her, much less, have conceived his child. That was what he wanted to happen when he left. She had to hate him for her to be safe. Then, he turned his anger upon himself. Did he really expect her to want to keep his child? He had lied to her continuously all for the sake of protecting her. Some protection! He leaves her alone and pregnant and she quickly suffers a breakdown. It irked him no end that Jax was the one there for her, lending his strength and love to aid in her recovery. Most of his anger stemmed from the fact that his plan worked too well. She had hated him so much that she left his child for dead while he continued to love her. He would always love her and need her. The more he thought of it, the more his anger grew till he had to do something, whether to himself or her. He was plagued with thoughts of revenge and malice when he reconsidered his position and decided upon a course of action. He would go home, no one would know, not even Jason. He would bring Brenda to him and get the answers for himself. He would find out what happened and go from there. But, he was unprepared for the truth, that Brenda had loved the child. In truth, she adored their son even though she never even got to hold him. He always thought her to be somewhat selfish. It had to be what she wanted, she was most important. One look in her pain filled, chocolate brown eyes when she spoke of an exchange and he was convinced she meant it. ‘What do you want Sonny?’ her voice startled him. He didn’t know she was aware he was there. They shared a look and no words were needed. They could see the pain, understanding, and acceptance in each other’s eyes. Sonny quietly closed and locked the door. Brenda laid under the covers wrapping them around her. She fell asleep exhausted after her last tear hit the pillow.
Chapter 3 |