Author: X_tremeroswellian
Email: X_tremeroswellian@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Not mine. The dialogue and scenes that you don't recognize are mine, the rest belongs to Jason Katims, the WB, Melinda Metz...etc, etc, etc...Don't sue. The song "Fear" is by the goddess of music, Sarah McLachlan, and appears on her albums, "Fumbling Towards Ecstacy," and "Mirrorball." One comment~ when "Fear" was played during the Pilot of Roswell, at the end of the episode, it credited the version as being the one on "Mirrorball," which is inaccurate. The version played in the Pilot is actually from, "Fumbling Towards Ecstacy." "Mirrorball" is Sarah's live album.
Rating: R for violence, language and situations
Author's Note: This is the eigth story of my "Before I Knew You" series. I'd read the other seven first.
Spoilers: Pilot and for the rest of my series.
Fear (Part Two)
Liz took a deep breath as the bell rang for homeroom that afternoon. This was the first time she would see Maria that day, and she was a nervous wreck. How in the world was she going to keep this from her best friend? And from Alex? How was she supposed to pretend that she hadn't been shot, hadn't almost died? And that someone they'd known since third grade had saved her life with a touch, and oh, yeah. Was an alien.
She walked down the hallway, towards the homeroom class, dreading the moment she'd step through the door. Maria had called her a bunch of times the previous night, to check on her. But after Liz had seen the silver handprint on her stomach, and had realized how close to death she'd come, she hadn't really felt like talking. So she hadn't returned any of Maria's messages. She told her parents she was too shaken up to come to the phone, that she just wanted to get some sleep. And they'd left her alone. But Liz hadn't gotten to sleep.
She'd lain awake all night, sitting on her roof, staring at the stars, half the time wondering how on earth she was still alive, and the other half thinking about Max Evans.
But now, now Liz was going to have to see her best friend in the world and pretend like nothing had happened. Like everything was fine.
And the second she stepped through the doorway, everyone began whispering, and looking at her. Maria was talking to a friend, and turned around in her seat to see Liz come in.
Liz avoided her eyes. She couldn't deal with all the questions she knew her friend was going to have, so she did the last thing she'd ever thought she'd do. She walked calmly across the room, ignoring the whispering, and sat down next to Pam Troy, of all people. Then she pulled out a notebook and pen and doodled until homeroom was over. And she didn't give Maria a chance to catch her after class. She all but ran from the room and down the hallway.
"Something's wrong with Liz," Maria announced to Alex as she sat down next to him in the cafeteria at lunch that day.
Alex nodded. "I heard about the shooting on the news. I tried to call, but her parents said she was pretty shaken up."
"They told me the same thing."
"And you don't think so?" Alex said in confusion.
"Have you seen her today?" Maria questioned, peering at him closely.
"Yeah, in third period history...She looked okay. She didn't say much when I asked her about what happened."
"Liz was shot, Alex," Maria told him.
He stared at her. "What?"
"I found blood on her order book after she went upstairs to her room last night. She didn't fall and spill ketchup on herself."
Alex shook his head. "Maria, she wasn't shot. She didn't go to the hospital, she's walking around, perfectly fine." He glanced down at the newspaper on the table. "It says right here that shots were fired but no one was injured."
"Then where's Liz? I mean, why is she avoiding me? Okay, first of all, Liz is never late, right? She walks into homeroom and goes sits next to Pam Troy. She like, hates Pam Troy, and you know, like, goes around admitting it openly, and...Alex? Are you listening to me?"
Alex sighed. "Yeah, yeah. Maria, I'm listening to you. But this is just you being you. All right? Liz is fine, nothing happened, it's all right here in black and white."
Liz skipped lunch that day. She had no desire to even be anywhere she could smell food. The thought made her nauseous. She hid out in the biology room instead. What was she going to do? She couldn't avoid Maria and Alex forever. But how was she going to get around telling them what happened?
And what if someone else did find out about Max? What if they turned him in? She replayed in her mind every single detail of what she'd told Sheriff Valenti the previous evening. Had she been convincing? Had he suspected anything? What if she'd messed up and given something away and Max got caught because of her? What would they do to him?
"You can't talk to anyone about this. Not your parents, not Maria. No one. You don't understand what'll happen if you do. Liz, please," he had whispered. "Now my life is in your hands."
Liz shuddered, feeling sick again. She didn't want to think about what would happen if anyone ever discovered the truth about who Max really was. He could be captured, put in some cage in a government lab, experimented on...even killed. And all because he'd saved her life. Why? Why had he saved her? Risked everything just so she could live? It just didn't make sense.
Liz rose to her feet and rushed towards the bathroom. She needed to get a grip. She hurried to the sink and turned on the cold water and splashed some on her face. As she straightened, she saw Maria walking up behind her and she swallowed hard. "Hey."
"So I called like, 37 times."
"I know. I'm sorry," Liz said quickly. She grabbed a paper towel and dried her hands and face.
"Liz, what happened?" Maria demanded.
"What do you mean, Maria? You were there, you saw everything." Liz turned away and threw her paper towel in the garbage can.
"Did I? Cause, um, this isn't ketchup." Maria held out the order book she'd pulled out of her purse. "This looks a lot like blood to me."
Liz turned away and headed for the door.
"What did Max do to you?"
She stopped in her tracks. Then she turned to face her. "Nothing. He was just checking to see if I was, you know, okay. I fell, Maria. I broke a bottle of ketchup. I got a minor cut. No big deal. That's why there's blood."
Maria looked at her doubtfully. "Then why have you been avoiding me all day? And Alex? We're your friends, Liz."
Liz's eyes softened. "I know. But nothing happened. I'm okay, really." The bell rang. "I have to get to class. See you later?"
"Yeah. Whatever." Maria walked past her and left the room. Liz sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. Then she took a deep breath and headed to class.
Liz and Kyle went out that night to see a movie. They always went out to see the lame horror movies. They didn't really focus on the movie, but instead made fun of it the entire time. Liz hadn't made much of an effort to talk during the movie this time. She had barely registered anything Kyle had said, either. She'd stared at the screen, wishing the stupid movie would end so she could go home and be alone.
She hadn't seen Max for the remainder of the day. He had disappeared after she talked to him in the band room that morning. She usually saw him in the hallways, but she had a feeling he'd skipped the rest of the day to avoid being around her. Kind of like what she'd been doing to Maria and Alex.
She sighed in relief when the movie ended, and remained silent as Kyle drove her home. He kept talking, and glancing at her occasionally, but when she never responded back, he finally gave up and let the ride continue in silence. But he insisted on walking her to her door.
When they reached it, Liz took a deep breath and turned to face him. "Good night."
Kyle looked disappointed and a bit...suspicious. "Oh, right. Right. Listen, Liz, you've--you've been somewhere else all night."
"I know. I'm sorry. Kyle, do you ever wonder if..."
"Do I ever wonder what?"
She swallowed hard. She wasn't even sure why she was bringing this up now. "When you see me, do you...do you feel things?"
"Yes, of course. I feel things," Kyle answered immediatly. Then a look of confusion crossed his eyes. "Like what?"
She smiled slightly. "Forget it. I don't know what I was talking about. I'm just gonna go get some sleep."
"All right."
She reached up to turn off the light.
"Liz?" Kyle suddenly questioned.
She glanced at him, realized he was staring at her stomach, where her sweater had been raised and she quickly jerked it down. "Good night, Kyle."
He gave her a strange look. "Good night, Liz."
Liz watched him walk back to his car, and she sighed and turned back to the door. Her parents weren't home. On another trip for the restaraunt, no doubt. She unlocked the door and stepped inside. Then she began to wonder if Kyle had seen what the mark on her stomach was. If it came down to it, she'd lie. She'd say she'd gotten a tattoo.
She went to her room, grabbed a blanket, and the crawled out her window. She wrapped herself in the comforter and sat down on her lawn chair, staring up at the stars. She wasn't there too long before she heard a voice from down below. "Liz!"
Liz swallowed hard. She knew that voice. She rose to her feet and moved the wall. She looked down at Max Evans, staring up at her. "I have to talk to you," he whispered loudly.
She nodded. "Meet me in front," she said back.
"Okay."
She took a deep breath and left through the back entrance of her house so she could meet him outside.
"Are your parents home?" he asked as she walked up to him.
"Uh...No. They're...away. On business for the cafe."
He nodded. "Can we go inside?"
"Yeah. Sure." She pulled her keys out of her pocket and unlocked the front door of the cafe. They both stepped inside, and Liz turned to face him.
"I can't imagine how you must feel right now. I mean, I've thought about telling you a thousand times," Max told her quietly.
Liz stared at him, surprised. Max Evans had considered telling her the biggest secret of his life more than once? Without being forced to? "You have? Me?"
He smiled and supressed a laugh.
She frowned. Was he playing some joke on her? "What?"
"Sorry, I just, uh, I just keep picturing you in that dress with the uh, the cupcakes...on it."
Now she was confused. "What?"
"Forget it. It was a long time ago," he assured her, looking embarrassed.
Suddenly an image of the dress flashed through her memory. That hideous, horrible dress that she'd hated the first time she'd lain eyes on it. "Oh, my God. That's, that's right. I can't believe I actually wore that thing!" Then her eyes widened. "I had that dress in kindergarten. I didn't know you until the third grade. Did you like...read my mind or something?" Horrible thoughts ran through her mind. God, what else had he seen? Had he seen the way she felt about him? Had he seen--
"No, I-I don't read minds," Max assured her quickly, moving towards her. "When I healed you, I made this...this, I don't know...this connection. And I got this rush of images. An image of that dress flashed into my mind, and I knew how you felt about it."
She stared at him wide-eyed. He knew how she felt? This was unbelievable. "How did I feel about it?"
"It was the single supreme embarrassment of your life." He paused, and she stared at him in amazement. "But your mom made it for you. She was so proud of it. She'd never made a dress before. So you wore it...For her sake." His voice was so soft, gentle, that Liz began to relax. She nodded to let him know he was right. Then he took another few steps towards her. "I've never tried this before, but maybe I can make the connection go the other way. So you can see, you know, that I'm still me."
He was standing right in front of her. Liz felt her heart race increase as he stared down at her, awaiting her answer. "I have to touch you," he whispered.
Unable to speak, Liz just nodded. Max gently touched her face, cupping it in his hands until they were staring directly into one another's eyes. "Now just take deep breaths and try to let your mind blank out," he told her softly.
Suddenly, her mind exploded with an image of six year old Max Evans and his sister Isabel, walking in the desert. There were headlights and then both kids turned around to look. Max appeared terrified.
Then she saw Max and Isabel getting off the school bus on the first day of third grade. She could feel everything he was feeling. She felt his loneliness, his fear and confusion. Then suddenly she saw herself on the playground, the first person that Max had laid eyes on that day. And her younger self looked up at him, and smiled. They stared at each other for a long moment.
Then the image changed. To just a few weeks ago, when she'd stood at her locker, laughing and talking to Maria. And she was amazed by what she saw. She didn't see herself as average Liz who was semi-popular. She saw herself laughing, looking happy. But above all, she looked beautiful.
Liz's eyes filled with tears as the images stopped. She felt a rush of compassion and sympathy and love for Max, the wonderful guy she'd known since the third grade. The wonderful guy who had saved her life.
"Did it work?" Max asked nervously, gazing down at her.
She couldn't find the words to say what she was feeling, so she just nodded. Max looked away, blushing slightly. She reached out and touched his arm. He looked at her hand, and then met her eyes. Then they both smiled.
"I have to go home now," he said softly.
"Okay. I'll see you at school." She watched as he turned to go. He turned to look at her, and smiled again. She smiled back. Then he disappeared into the night.