Why can't I have the big knife?
Could you just point to where I am?
Do you know how to build a pig from a kit?
Have you ever done your own thing? Did you go back and un-do it?
Are you really enrolled in the areobic scream therapy group?
Is there a distrubance in the force?
Have you ever felt like going door to door collecting for static lint?
You know how I know I'm still popular? I went to the post-office and I'm on the ten most wanted list
Have you ever tried teaching your ferret to yodel?
On a Tuesday night, have you ever been so bored that you re-checked the freshness dates on all of your dairy products
I do not suppose you could speed things up?
You don't by chance have 6 fingers on your right hand, do you?
Has your life ever been shattered by the fact that all of your crayons melted?
How long can you go without saying yes?
Did you know that toupees make great frisbees?
Can I get my overalls overhauled?
Will gold fish bounce? What about jumping? Can they jump?
Ever wonder which food group mud is in?
Are you worried about your vertical hold?
Have you ever gone to the bakery to watch the buns rise?
Quick! we need to hide!! Did you know the grunions are running?
When does the Millard Fillmore Fan Club meet?
Why is punk totem?
Are you implying that I'm so picky my shower cap has to be fluffed?
Don't you hate it when you come down with a vicious, horrible case of something or other?
Is your plot to take over the world thickening?
Doesn't everyone believe that leaving one's compfort zone is a stupid idea?
Have you ever considered piracy?
Instead of a trap door, do you want a trap window? If they're looking out it, and lean to far, they'll fall to a painful death...wait isn't that just like a regular trap door?
Why won't you hold me?
At a time like this, that's all you can think to say?
Where did we put that wheelbarrow the albino had?
Have you ever gone in against a Sicilian when death was on the line?
Ever wonder if you're subconscious will ever say yes instead of no?
Ever wake up and realize you left your body in your other clothes?
Have you ever gone, and never come back?
Will your secretary answer all of your "occupant" letters?
What time does the next train to Bermuda leave?
Have you ever been blamed for the Spanish American War?
Can you call a lock-smith? I've changed all of the locks on my doors, and now I can't get out.
If we surrender and I return with you, will you promise not to hurt this man?
Have you ever been invited to attend a perfume convention as a guest sniffer?
Will you take pity on me? My yucca plant is feeling yucky.
When's the next chocolate-appreciation class meeting that night?
Won't your mother ever let you hear the end of it?
You're reading "Glue in Many Lands?" Why don't you just put it down? What do you mean you can't?
Have you ever wanted to wash your hair? Condition? Perm? Cut? Tease? Torment?
Do you know what this boils down to?
Isn't there more important world issues that you need to be worrying about?
grgyugfhyujjkyut See that? my dog helped me type that.
Feel that? It's a song coming on.
Why did they call you?
Want to help me bleach my hare?
Isn't Richard Simmons dreamy?
Do you think I'm stupid?
Have you ever felt like killing someone? Try ringing their door-bell, and instead of being there to laugh in there face, leave a pumpkin with a carving knife in it, attached is a note the says YOU. Make sure you didn't leave any finger prints, and you write in someone else's handwriting. no harm done and don't you feel better?
That's my name, why don't you wear it out?
Ever heard of the backstreet Logan boys?
Are you pure?
Jose, can you see?
Why don't you get a job?
Can I borrow your scissors?
Can I help you? Wait....I don't care.
If you drop your keys in a river of molten lava...ever consider taking a dive for them? I gotta tell you, I think they aren't worth trying to save.
Why do neadrethal men drag their women around by their hair?
Why watch you the movie when you can read the book?
Where's the beef? Got milk? Who cares?
Do her eyebrows look fake to you?
Do you have a life?
What agency are you from?
Isn't that what grammer check is for?
I want to change my situation but where can I get a stealth bomber?
If the customer is always right then what the heck is she doing in here?
How is it possible to combine conditioner and shampoo in one hair care product?
If your parents want you to live up to your potential, do you try to make sure they don't know what that is?
Do you screen not only your calls but all of your human interactions?
Do musicians look motivated compared to you?
Do monkey marrys?
Why can't aliens from outer space commit to a relationship?
In my own defense, can i plead sanity?
Is this a kissing book?
Do you always start your conversations like that?
Do you want me to go with this?
Why do you do this?
Am I going mad or did the word think escape your lips?
Have you dedicated your life to linguine?
Do you have to floss your cat?
Ever Tai Chi exercises in the middle of a crowded department store?
Do you want to spend more time with my blender? Why can't you just get your own blender?
Will the president drop in?
Is that just some poor local fisherman going on a pleasure cruise at night, through eel infested water?
I suppose you think you're brave don't you?
Ever tried to defame New Orleans?
How many of these things have you eaten?
Hey, is it your parakeet's bowling night?
Are you coming down into the pit?
We're on our way to my best friend's wedding and she made us bridesmaids...hello, 911?
Do you refuse to say 'cheese' unless its immediately followed by 'burger'?
I always respect my superiors in school. Can you help me find some?
If my home is a castle..will you excuse me while I raise the drawbridge?
Does anything promote learning better then a good stretch in solitary confinement?
What the snot are you talking about?
Are you a big believer in self expression? (namly keep your expressing to yourself?)
If I make you proud..can I get some time off for good behavior?
Do you like my shiny shoes?
Aren't computers a great way to meet people you'd find revolting in real life?
Have you ever jumped up and down on the top of the library steps just like Rocky?
Has the town you lived in ever felt like americas barrenest ghost town?
I don't go for male bashing..why limit yourself?
How popular are you?
Do you ever venture out amongst the brutist hordes who haunt the cookie-cutter chain restaurants and booze drenched meat markets that pass themselves off as social gathering places during these last days of our civilization just for the chance of getting some action of someone more pathetic than you?
Whats the speed limit through here anyway?
Have you encouraged others to fly?
Beautiful isn't it? No, not the painting, ME.
I wonder if he is using the same wind that we are using?
You keep using that word. Does it mean what you think it means?
Did I make it clear your job is at stake?
Wanna grease the monkey bars?
Will you stop hiding behind the Fifth Amendment?
What do you mean you're not a dentist?
So are spitwads free-speech or not?
Have you ever gone through vicious attacks of cheese-cake withdrawals? What about chocolate withdrawals? (Asked while shaking sporadically)
Can hamsters fly?
Does the revenge business pay well?
Can you train to be a house-hold pest? or is that just a gift some have?
Why are you smiling?
Is your patent pending?
Should you dress in a ball gown for the grand opening of your garage door?
Have you ever had to clean an oven that was so dirty, a sandblaster was the only thing that worked?
Does pathetic mean you get all dolled up to grout your bathroom tiles?
Is Bob Vila being deported?
ever notice that when you're looking for a parking space, it thinks you're playing hide and seek?
Haven't the monsters turned blue yet? Darn, gotta eat more blue dots...
Why are you wearing a mask? Oh sorry my mistake...need the advice of a good plastic surgeon?
Is a teacher who requires you convert your calendar from Julian to Gregorian sending the hint that they hate giving extra credit?
Look at these nails...Do you want me to make you an appointment with my cuticle specialist?
Will he ever fulfill his potential?
Is it too close to the turn of the century to make bets on what life will be like in the 21st century? If you do make bets, is it stupid to take the side of the guy who wrote 2001: A Space Odyssey?
Wouldn't you agree your Highness?
Broken promises don't make me feel bad. Why did you believe me in the first place?
If you go to a costume party disguised as your boss's husband...isn't that a bad idea?
Hey, why don't mad scientists keep a slice of lemon in with those brains in those jars, you know, just for freshness?
That's a magic pill?
Will you recognize the fact that you have no life when you look up hard words in the dictionary?
Will you give a nuisance seminar at the local convenience store?
Do you want to sign my petition for a Friends of Rutabaga club at our school?
Do any of your socks match?
You think your dearest love will save you?
Who will neuter all my plants for me?
Do we have to hear the kissing part?
Do you have all the props needed to make a hmoe movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator?
Singed a bit were you?
Are you only saying that because no one ever has?
Is he really touring China with a wok band?
Is it considered paranoia when you consider any day ending with a Y, a bad day to go out?
Have you ever wanted to run off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism?
Have you ever been too old for something? Please, don't tell me it was crayons?
Doesn't anyone have enough guilt?
Is this just another thing I'm supposed to chalk up to experience?
Which is more uncomfortable? Being with people? Or being alone?
Have you ever had to ask a friend to help fold a road map?
Isn't it easier to just try to be less popular?
What's the point of school if you can't say what you're thinking?
I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner? Wanna join me?
Then I'm here til I die? Then why bother curing me?
Kinda kinky isn't it?
If you're a young Mafia gangster, isn't it embarrassing to have someone try and kill you on your first date?
Does the communist party talk to you through you microwave?
Would it be wrong to side with the evil one?
Remember the good ol' days?
Did Scooby Doo?
Anybody wanna get laid?
What do you want?
Which is the evil twin? They look the same.
Instead of having "answers" on a math test, shouldn't there be "impressions"? Ans if someone has a different impression, no big deal..can't we all just get along?
Have you ever gotten the urge to 'launch projectiles in Mr. Boen's physical science class'?
Why learn to spell correctly when god invented spell check?
Do you know what plethura means?
Have you ever left a party to go home and read the dictionary?
Do you remember the first time you saw grover do his near and far bit?
Have you ever tried to seel something to a phone solicitor?
What color is the sky in your world?
What can be a more clear cut cry for help?
What happened to my legs?
Does your subconsious ever wish it were unconsious?
Do you ever feel alone in a crowd but prefer it that way?
Do musicians make you look motivated?
Does you siamese twin dress like a slut?
Is the weirdest thing in the world a nude book club to anyone else? Isn't that just a bunch of shy exobisonists hiding behind books?
Does tv isolate us from one another?
Don't you hate it when they say a new chater begins in your life and you just know its going to be the same old book?
Want to make race-car noises whenever the elevator's running?
Have you ever blown your nose, then offered to show it's contents to anyone nearby?
Try grimacing painfully while muttering 'Shut up, just shut UP!' How many weird look can you get?
Do yo find the first 7 notes to 'It's a Small World' relaxing?
Got enough air in there?
Why waste your venom on me?
Is the noogie patrol REALLY coming?
Do I seem bloated to you?
Wanna see wha in muh mouf?
Does this look larger to you? Is a thumb supposed to be this big?
You're one of them...aren't you?
Do you want me to schedule you a karma transplant?
Have you ever stayed home on a friday night, and could find nothing better to do than work on your cottage cheese sculpture?
Wanna instigate a revolution in the class-room?
Ever tried to sell land in Florida?
Don't you think that it's unfair to all the other beautiful people?
Who are you people and what do you want from me?
It doesn't take a genius to color inside the lines now deos it?
If truth is stranger then fiction, where are the flying monkeys?
Do you firmly believe people who are living happily ever after are into some serious denial?
If teachers really had eyes in the back of their heads, wouldn't school be so much cooler?
Is irritation the sincerest form of flattery?
Where does the guitar solo go in this song?
You're going to force me to stay aren't you?
Today is the first day of the rest of your life, kinda depressing isn't it?
Don't you believe in the power of knowledge? unless of course you're debating a grizzly bear...
Have you ever seen how close you can get to the painting in the art gallery before the alarm will go off?
Don't you think glass slippers would give you blisters?
Do we really need all that detail over a martini and a coke?
Would you like to be more popular, if it didn't interfer with everyone disliking you?