10: "Look sir, droids!"
9: No time travellers picking up their own heads
8: No alternate universes!
7: No transporters to save your butt at the last minute!
6: Aliens with makeup somewhere besides their foreheads!
5: Starship battles in three dimensions!
4: No neutral zones, all war!
3: No ultra-powerful aliens with one-letter names!
2: No holodecks for lame plot ideas invented by actors!
The # 1 Reason why Star Wars is Better than Star Trek:
Star Wars
10. "Get in there you big furry oaf, I don't care what you smell!"
9. "Luke, at that speed do you think you'll be able to pull out in time?"
8. "Put that thing away before you get us all killed."
7. "You've got something jammed in here real good."
6. "Aren't you a little short for a stormtrooper?"
5. "You came in that thing? You're braver than I thought."
4. "Sorry about the mess..."
3. "Look at the size of that thing!"
2. "Curse my metal body, I wasn't fast enough!"
1. "She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts, kid."
The Empire Strikes Back
10. "I thought that hairy beast would be the end of me."
9. "Size matters not. Judge me by my size, do you?"
8. "There's an awful lot of moisture in here."
7. "But now we must eat. Cum, good food, cumm..."
6. "That's okay, I'd like to keep it on manual control for a while."
5. "Hurry up, golden-rod..."
4. "I must've hit it pretty close to the mark to get her all riled up like that, huh kid?"
3. "Possibly he came in through the south entrance."
2. "And I thought they smelled bad on the outside!"
1. "Control, control! You must learn control!"
Return of the Jedi
13. "What could possibly have come over Master Luke? Is it something I did? He never expressed any unhappiness with my work."
12. "Hey, point that thing someplace else."
11. "I look forward to completing your training. In time you will call me master."
10. "You're a jittery little thing, aren't you?"
9. "I never knew I had it in me."
8. "Someone must've told them about my little maneuver at the battle of Taanab."
7. "There is good in him, I've felt it."
6. "If I told you half the things I've heard about this Jabba the Hutt, you'd probably short circuit."
5. "I assure you, Lord Vader, my men are working as fast as they can." with reply "Perhaps I can find new ways to motivate them."
4. "Grab me, Chewie. I'm slipping -- hold on. Grab it, almost...you almost got it. Gently now, all right, easy, easy, hold me, Chewie. Chewie!"
3. "Short help's better than no help at all."
2. "Hey, Luke, thanks for coming after me -- now I owe you one."
1. "Back door, huh? Good idea!"
What expect you from someone 900 years old? English perfect???
Size matters not...hey, what are you laughing at?
Lift THAT ship?! You must be out of your f**king mind!
I cannot teach him. IQ of 30 has he. Hangs upside down in ice caves.
Duct Tape...the Force it is like. Both a light side and a dark side it has.
Binds the universe together it does!
Get thee your lips off Leia, she's your sister for crying out loud!
Remember all that stuff Obi-Wan taught you? Forget it.
Yeah, well oneness with the universe doesn't put food on the plate, junior.
When 900 years old you reach, get as many chicks you will not.
No...there is another. Let's hope as stupid, she is not.
In that cave is only what you take with you. Hey, get that out of your hand and put it back in your pants!
Does your droid like short little hairy green things?
Never underestimate the powers of the dark side. Or is that Regis Philbin?
What the hell am I anyway?
I cannot teach him. Land an X-wing, he cannot even.
Luke! Get your butt back here before I ram this lightsaber up your ass!
Never underestimate the power of the dark side... or duct tape.
Yeah yeah. Force this!
Well, I TOLD you he'd f**k you up, didn't I?
Anger, fear, merchandising...the Dark Side are they!
I didn't want this job! I wanted Marlon Brando's role in "Apocalypse Now!"
No Force? Take this, impudent nonbeliever! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
So how did you like the funhouse in the cave, Luke?
Quite frankly, Mr. Skywalker, if Obi-Wan wasn't dead, I'd have him expelled.
Well it may be spooky, but it saves cost on burial plots and it beats cremation.
Luke, forget training today.. I think we ought to have a talk. Nobody's taught you the facts of life yet and you're getting to be a big boy...
Luke, don't ask what the Force can do for you.. But what you can do for the Force.
Oh, yes, well if you're going could you take this robe to the cleaners for me? I've been wearing it for over 800 years on this stinkhole and it doesn't... Oh, judge me on my smell, will you?
You watch the entire trilogy at least once a month.
You don't need a TV and VCR to watch the movies.
You know at least 10 Star Wars website addresses by heart.
You know all the forms in which it's been released (theater, Pan &Scan video, Letterbox, Laserdisc, etc.) and know the differences between them.
You can recite *all* the dialogue from the entire trilogy.
You quote the trilogy at apropos moments.
You draw comparisons to Star Wars in casual conversation.
You shell out 10 bucks for a magazine that describes the planet Tatooine.
When your alarm clock goes off in the morning, your reply is, "Unexpected this is... and unfortunate!"
You know the names of all major cast members and what they're doing now.
You have a list of major bloopers and inside jokes in your head.
You would feed yourself to the rancor if it meant finding out the name of Anakin's wife.
You're always game to hear the latest rumor about the new films.
Even if you don't buy the spinoff material, you know it's out there, who wrote it, who published it, and you can probably give a synopsis of it.
You can pick more nits out of a spinoff novel than Lucas himself.
You hunt through ROTJ frame-by-frame searching for the shoe.
You have gone over ANH and ESB frame-by-frame, just in case someone put a shoe in there, too.
You think John Williams is the greatest composer ever lived.
You wonder why the SW theme never makes it into any of those "Classical Collections"...
You make lists like "101 Uses for An Ewok," OR "Signs You May Be a SW Addict!" (no comment)
Your internet handle or signature refers to Star Wars.
Your friends regularly quiz you on SW factoids.
Whenever you buy a new appliance, you always make sure and get that one that speaks Bocce.
You know more about the major characters' personalities than Lucasfilm does.
When something is just out of your reach, you close your eyes and try to "force" it into your hand.
When your professor hands you back a paper and says, "Commas are your weakness," you retort, "And your faith in your friends is yours!!"
You know all the words to that Ewok song.
Everytime someone tells you one of their deepest secrets you gloat and say, "You're far too trusting."
You insist on telling people the odds about everything!
People tell you to stop saying, "I have a bad feeling about this" so often.
You are counting the days until movie one of the prequels.
You can't pick up a flashlight without waving it around and humming.
You think the babblings of Yoda are relevant and useful to everyday life.
When you experience insomnia, you begin counting nerf.
You know what a nerf is.
When you put Star Wars in the VCR and push "play," it's like you're being transported to another world.
Someone mentions being abducted by little green men and you respond by pointing out that Yoda would never do such a thing!
You find yourself discussing characters from the books and movies as if they were actually old friends of yours.
You don't need subtitles when an alien speaks in one of the movies.
You have a pet named after one of the characters.
You have a child named after one of the characters or stars.
You truly believe you are strong in the Force.
Yoda and Ben appears to you in your dreams and you take their advice on a regular basis.
A SW *.wav file plays on your computer whenever you do a windows application.
You truly believe, after 13 years, that the new movies will be released any day now.
When you get in trouble and your parents decide to punish you, they know that the only way they'll get through to you is by taking away your privilege to watch Star Wars.
You dream about Star Wars, both at night and during the day.
When you read SW books, you can see it happening in your head.
You can't read a quote from one of the movies without acting like the person who actually said it!
James Earl Jones will ALWAYS be Darth Vader to you, no matter what other role he is in.
You are saving your money now. Because the special editions and prequels are coming out soon and you know that what you want to do will require a lot of money!
Yoda:
Crossing the road makes not a chicken great.
Vader:
Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.
Luke:
Crossing the road is one thing, this is.... totally different.
Leia:
I don't know... but I have a bad feeling about this.
Han:
Hurry up, colonel sanders, or you're gonna be a permanent resident!
Threepio:
I am fluent in over six million ways of crossing the road.
Artoo:
beep beep be bop.
Chewie:
Gwrrroooooaaaarrrrrrlllllll!
Ben:
Cross the road, chicken. Let go, chicken. Chicken - trust me.
Boba Fett:
What if the chicken doesn't survive? He's worth a lot to me!
Wedge:
My scope shows the other side but it looks really far, are you sure you can cross it?
Jerjerrod:
The chicken is crossing the road? We shall double our efforts.
Bib:
Die chicken wanga?
Biggs:
At that speed, will you be able to cross in time?
Tarkin:
The regional governors now have direct control over their chickens. Fear will keep those chickens in line... fear of getting hit by a car!
Uncle Owen:
I told you to forget it. You're only concern is to cross that road.
Aunt Beru:
He can't stay here forever. Most of his friends have already crossed. It means so much to him.
Admiral Ackbar:
All chickens - prepare to cross the road on my mark
Lando:
Why you slimy, no good, double-crossing chicken!! You got a lot of gots crossing that road, after what you pulled!
Emperor:
Young fool. Only now, after getting hit by a car do you understand.
Jabba:
Bo shuda chicken!
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