The SEE is a non-profit organization dedicated to the extinction of Ewoks. Our mission is to destroy and eradicate all Ewoks. We have many ideas on methodology you may be interested in.
Big Announcement! The Job of Head Exterminator has changed hands, as of February 1, 1998. Former Member #7, Maria J., aka Darksword, has taken over the position. There will be more frequent updates and hopefully more added to the page! The former Head Exterminator has changed places and is now Exterminator #7.We want you in the SEE! To join, open hailing frequencies to the Head Exterminator, or sign the brand new guestbook. This group is open to all: New Republic, Empire, neutral, Dark Side or not who find the race of Ewoks to be despicable and unworthy. Any and all who join will receive a complimentary virtual weapon of their choice with which to eliminate the scourge. If you can describe it, you can receive it. Also, contributions of your favorite ways to terminate Ewoks will be greatly appreciated.
We do not wish to destroy absolutely all of the Ewoks. They have their purposes: a breeding population will be kept in captivity and well fed on the flesh of the SEE's enemies and those of its members. This core group will also be used in recipes and for furs and bred in those directions.
The News from the Head Exterminator section dwells below the links to save the scroll bars of first time visitors. Also, in another section, we have the Older News that was formerly up, from a little less than a year ago. It would be taken down, but it contains some items of interest, and was news from the former Head Exterminator. Also, in the Letters of Importance area, we have letter that were once in the News section, but now reside elswhere, to help save scroll bars some more.
If you are lost, please read our wonderful FAQ: What is an Ewok?
Those who wonder at our motivation may wish to read our charter, Why the Ewoks Must Die.
Who are these people? Our listing of members...
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Help Wanted!
We here at the SEE would greatly appreciate assistance in administration. If you would like to help us, email Darksword. Thank you!
Members of the SEE have been known to suggest Ewok as a dish. If you have any tried and true recipes, cooking tips or sources of utensils, it would be greatly appreciated. Any that we receive will be placed under Methodology and crdited to the contributor.
Know any good bounty hunters? We seek lots of live Ewoks -no disintegrations unless you're an SEE member.
We need Ewoks _in good condition_ specifically for experimentation for viral testing. Information sources will be credited and acted upon.
We are also in search of uses or markets for Ewok furs. Furriers who do not mind a few blaster holes or an AT-ST footprint, please notify us.
The SIE was founded after the SEE on the suggestion of a pacifistic friend. Its purpose is to trap and remove Ewoks from the storyline of Return of the Jedi without harming them. Our viewpoint of Ewoks is that they are annoying but not worthy of death. We have no proven method of abduction as yet, having no safe way to obtain test subjects. Our only certainty is that leaving a very obvious trap such as meat dangling from a tree is highly unlikely to work. We're trying to trap Ewoks here, not Wookiees. However, baiting a trap with a live human has not been tested as of publication. Any input or test subjects would, obviously, be welcomed with great glee.
What is an Ewok?
Ewoks are creatures from the movie Return of the Jedi, third in the Star Wars trilogy. They live on the moon of Endor, site of the shield generator destroyed by Han Solo and Princess Leia in the Battle of Endor. Ewoks are small and fuzzy, appearing like teddy bears dressed in rag garments. Many people designate them as "cute".
When Leia first encountered the Ewoks, she befriended them and went to their village. Shortly after that, Luke and Han were looking for her and were caught in an Ewok net trap sprung by Chewbacca. The Ewoks seemed hostile but decided that the droid C-3PO was a god. They proceeded to shackle the rebels and carried them to the village to become a feast in honor of 3PO. With the help of the Ewoks' believe that the droid was a deity and Luke's use of the Force, the Ewoks were convinced to free the humans and become their allies in destroying the shield generator.
During the part of the Battle of Endor that took place on the moon, the Ewoks used very primitive technology against AT-STs and stormtroopers with blasters. They stole an AT-ST and used it against the Empire's troops. With the help of the Ewoks, the rebels took out the shield and made destruction of the Death Star possible for the Alliance fleet.
We here at the SEE object to Ewoks for the reason that many people like them; ie, that they are cute and fuzzy. The Ewoks seem to be purely an attractant for children and a play for money on the part of the director. They would not be objectionable if only they were not so adorable. During the Battle of Endor, a single dead Ewok is given fourteen seconds of screen time. This is a great deal more than the time given to the rubble of Alderaan, an entire planet which was callously destroyed by the Empire and the inhabitants of which were much less likely to want to eat our hero[es] for lunch. Alderaan was a peaceful place and much more friendly to the Alliance than the Ewoks were and would have been were it not for 3PO.
Also, the species in question seems to be a rather stupid one. They attempted to kill and eat Han and Luke. They also worshiped C-3PO as a god, which he patently is not.
Another reason that many of the women have probably consider is that one of them was fondling Han and petting his knee. The Head Exterminator personally has a very high bounty set on this particular Ewok's head -but only if alive.
Ewoks also have very annoying songs which are quite apt to become stuck in one's head upon hearing them. The lyrics of these songs, being unintelligible and unsubtitled, are useless to the majority of the audience.
News from the Head Exterminator, 2/20/99 -
Okay, I know, I know, I've been the Head for more than a year already, and not much has changed... I'm going through my e-mail, which is still backed up majorly, and I've had multiple offers for help... I promise I'll update... I really do!
--The Head
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Are you Tired of high electricity bills? Intermittent service leaving you without power for days at a time? Call Palpatine Electric for an estimate on your planet.
Kentucky Fried Lando! Finger Lickin' Good!
Come to Mos Eisley for a Drink, stay for a Funeral! [or two, or three...]
Ski Hoth! Visit the petting zoo for a peek at the native wildlife: tauntauns and Wampa Ice Creatures. Available for tours- ruined Rebel base, Historic site of AT-AT battle [perfect for field trips]
Visit the Sanctuary [or Century, or whatever] Forest Moon of Endor! Special packages include the Ewok village tour, Shield generator tour, and the ever-popular Ewok Extermination Mission! [discounts available for SEE members]
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