Movies D-F

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Die Hard

Robinson- "Now look here you little asshole."
McClane- "Asshole? I'm not the one who just got butt fucked on national tv, Dwayne!"

McClane- "Let's get together, go out to the coast, have a few laughs."

McClane- "Welcome to the party, pal!"

McClane- "Yipee-ki-yay, mother fucker!"

Die Hard 2: Die Harder

McClane- "Hey, Carmine. What sets off the metal detector first: the lead in your ass or the shit in your brains?"

Die Hard With a Vengeance

Zeus- "Zeus, my name is Zeus!"
McClane- "Zeus?"
Zeus- "Yes Zeus. As in father of Apollo, Mount Olympus, don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass, Zeus!"

Enemy of the State

NSA Agent- "We have reason to believe that Mr. Zavitz may have passed sensitive materials to you."
Dean- "Uh, no, he didn't pass me anything."
NSA Agent- "How did you happen to be at Ruby's today?"
Dean- "I was shopping for some lingerie, that's still legal isn't it?"
NSA Agent- "For your wife?"
Dean- "No, I was picking up something for myself, I do a little cross dressing on the weekends."

Face/Off

Troy- "If I were to let you suck my tongue, would you be grateful?"

Troy- "Wheeee! What a predicament."

Falling Down

Captain Yeardly- "Damn fine work, Pendergast."
Pendergast- "Fuck you, Captain Yeardly, fuck you very much."

Michael Douglas- "We are not the same. I am an American, and you're a sick asshole."

Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Cameron- "Hey batter, batter, batter, swing batter!"
Ferris & Cameron- "Hey batter, batter, batter, swing batter!"
Cameron- "He can't hit, he can't hit, he can't hit, swing batter!"

Economics Teacher- "Bueller. . . Bueller. . . Bueller."
Girl- "Uh, he's sick. My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw Ferris pass out at 31 Flavors last night. I guess it's pretty serious."

Ferris- "Pardon my French, but Cameron is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you would have a diamond."

Ferris plays Blue Danube with sick sound effects on his keyboard.

The Fifth Element

Friend- "I forgot, you still prefer your cat to the real thing."
Dallas- "At least the cat comes back."

Dallas- "Ugghh."
Friend- "What?"
Dallas- "I just found a picture of you."
Friend- "How do I look?"
Dallas- "Like shit."
Friend- "Must be an old picture."

Policeman- "Sir, are you classified as a human?"
Dallas- "Uh, negative, I am a meat popsicle."

Fletch

Guy 1- "You fellows want to read me my rights?"
Guy 2- "You have the right to remain silent."
Guy 3- "You have the right to have you face kicked by me."
Guy 2- "You have the right to have you balls stomped by him."
Guy 1- "I think I'll wave my rights."

Forrest Gump

Forrest- "I gotta pee."

Full Metal Jacket

Marching cadence.

Drill Instructor- "How tall are you private?"
Cowboy- "Sir, 5 foot 9, sir!"
DI- "5 foot 9, I didn't know they stacked shit that high. You wouldn't be trying to squeeze an inch on me now would you?"
Cowboy- "Sir, no, sir!"
DI- "Bullshit, I bet the best part of you ran down the crack of your mama's ass and wound up as a brown stain on the matress! Where in the hell you from Private?"
Cowboy- "Sir, Texas, sir!"
DI- "Holy dog shit, only steers and queers come from Texas. You don't look much like a steer so I guess that kind of narrows it down some. Do you suck dick?"
Cowboy- "Sir, no, sir!"
DI- "Are you a peter puffer?"
Cowboy- "Sir, no, sir!"
DI- "Bullshit, I bet you are the kind of guy who would fuck somebody up the ass and not even give him the goddam common courtesy of a reach around. I'll be watchin' you."

DI- "Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little shit twinkle-toed cocksucked who just signed his own death warrant?"

DI- "I don't like the name Laurence. Only faggots and sailors are named Laurence. From now on your name's Gomer Pyle."

DI- "Bullshit, I bet you could suck a golf ball through a garden hose."

DI- "Tonight, you pukes will sleep with your rifles. You will give your rifles a girls name, because this is the only pussy you will be getting for a long time. Your days of finger banging Ms. Mary Jane Rottencrotch through her pretty pink panties are over. You are married to this piece. This weapon of wood and iron. And you will be faithful."

DI- "I'm going to tear your head off and shit down your neck."

DI- "You are pukes, you are the lowest form of life on earth, you are not even human fucking beings. You are nothing but unorganized grab-asstic pieces of amphibian shit."

DI- "This is my rifle this is my gun."
Men- "This is for fighting this is for fun."

DI- "I will gouge out your eyeballs and skull fuck you."

DI- "I'm going to rip your balls off to prevent you from contaminating the rest of the world."

DI- "God has a hard-on for marines, because we kill everything we see."