Scully looks into the morgue storage bin that once contained Lenny -the flash little is rather small though. Mulder comes over and gives her the low down on Betts....
SCULLY: Mulder what are we doing here? We have way better things to be doing you do know. I mean there are all the morning talk shows and interviews we are supposed to be doing instead of this weird case. And besides I thought the higher ups at FOX were supposed to have us do a viewer friendly episode after the Super Bowl!
MULDER: You are still pissed that Never Again was postponed till next week! Aren’t you?
SCULLY: NO! I just thought...
MULDER: I don’t want to hear it, look you know the reason why it was postponed. Your voice overs of the snake sucked and they had to call in another actress, what’s her name...
SCULLY: Jodi Foster, and my voice over didn’t suck and Jodi is one of my favorite actress and I consider it an honor to work with her.
MULDER: Honor my ass! And you didn’t get a chance to work with her she recorded the voice over in LA while you sat in your Vancouver mansion ALONE!
SCULLY: Hey I resent that comment! I have friends.
MULDER : Well not according to Joan Rivers you don’t and she also said your breasts are flat and your dress sucked!
SCULLY: Joan Rivers is a useless old has been wanna be! And I pay her no mind!
MULDER: Yeah, sure fine what ever...
SCULLY: Look I have lots to do, there was a Super Bowl party I’d like to go to thank you very much so can I hurry up and solve this case so I can get back to my life! So why are involved with this again?
MULDER: Oh yeah the case. Well normally we wouldn’t be but this case is a bit too weird. Leonard Betts arrived here last night no head. But as you can see no body with or without a head for the deceased Mr. Bette. The night attendant was found unconscious and nude so...
SCULLY: Are you saying you think Betts just got up and left, even though he was dead and had no head and also stole the attendant’s clothes?
MULDER: Uh, huh..
SCULLY: Look I know theft is a pretty serious charge and we will find this mans clothes, but Mulder I think you have already been to a few Super Bowl parties and are a tad drunk if you really believe Betts up and walked off. I think some sick people got a hold of and earlier episode, the one with the bad Chinese over dubs...
MULDER: I think that was the episode airing in the UK Scully..
SCULLY: Shut up Mulder! And let me finish! Look someone probably broke in and stole the body for parts you know to sell for money...
MULDER: Yeah sort a like I heard you did with Piper right?
SCULLY: NO! I love my daughter and would never do that! Hell she was the first person I thought of when we kicked ass at the Globes..
MULDER: Yeah but you forgot me!
SCULLY: Can we get on with this. I really am not looking forward to the next scene and really just want to get this over with.
SCULLY: There! We got’em! Quick you with the cop uniform get and APB out on him and haul his butt in! See Mulder there all down we can go home now!
MULDER: I don’t think so! Just what kind of description do you plan to give in this APB?
SCULLY: Easy, tall headless man wearing scrubs if you see him bust him!
SCULLY: Mulder! Your nuts!
MULDER: Well you are a tight ass! Little Ms. Prefection. And never believe me! And I'm getting a tad sick of you never listening to me or connecting with my inner soul like other people on this show do!
SCULLY: You are still pissed because I left you off my speech!
MULDER: Do I have to?
SCULLY: YES! If I have to do this you most certainly have to, I mean come on here you are the one that gets paid the big bucks here, so get on the lead gloves and start searching!
MULDER: I think my agent wrote something in my contract about not having to be exposed high does of radiation, I mean after the crap with getting the gasoline poared on my head in the season opener just so I could walk past bees! And I still never quite figured out what bees were doing in that episode mind you, I had my agent add some extra fine print to my contract. Affter that.
SCULLY: I know I saw a scan of your contract on the net! How else do you think I found out you make nearly twice as much as I do! And I saw nothing about not getting exposed to lethal doses of radiation so dig!
SCULLY: While you do what?
MULDER: Well I feel gross after digging through the BIO Hazard waste and I’m gonna go and take a shower swing through Mickey Dee’s cause I’m famished then go see how Betts lives.
SCULLY: You mean LIVED!
MULDER: Yeah sure right whatever...
Mulder mean while goes to Betts’s apartment and we see a headless figure scamper across the living room before Mulder enters. Mulder snoops around a it till he works his way into the bathroom where he finds a tub full of reddish-brown water, lots of this reddish-brown water on the floor, the walls and the window pane, and a clump of stolen morgue workers cloths on the floor next to the toilet. Mulder checks out the tub, touches the water and thinks he might know what it is. So he snoops some more and finds several bottles of Povidone - Iodine under the bathroom sink. And of course uses that fantastic brain of his to determine that the stuff in the tub is the stuff in the bottle and then the phone rings...
MULDER: Mulder..
SCULLY: It’s me...
MULDER: Hey that was a nice break up of the standard Mulder It’s me reply! So what did you find?
SCULLY: Um... nothing yet.
MULDER: What do you mean nothing! An examination of that head should not have taken that long what’s the hold up there Scully?
SCULLY: No hold up I just ain’t gotten around to it yet. Some of the lab work is sort of screwy and I was messing with that.
MULDER: I don’t buy it! What happened?
SCULLY: Nothing I tell you! Well Ok, whilst I was getting ready to slice and dice his head, his eyes opened and he blinked at me!
MULDER: Blinked or winked?
SCULLY: Stop it Mulder! Don’t mock me! You know I don’t take kindly to mocking! And I am licensed to carry a gun and know Karete! So you better hush if you know what is good for you! And the head blinked!
MULDER: I bet it winked cause it thought you were one hot mama! So what it spooked you?
SCULLY: Well... NO!
MULDER: Oh come on you can tell me...
SCULLY: Look lets get this case over with! I wanna hurry up and work on next week's episode! That guy I get as a guest star is rather cute and...
MULDER: Ok, so the head opened its eyes... Think maybe it could still be alive?
SCULLY: NO!
MULDER: Well have you ever thought that maybe it’s not all the way dead yet?
SCULLY: Huh? Mulder it’s either dead or alive there is no in between. And please no wild Mulderisms I’m not in the mood!
MULDER: Well it looks like he made himself right at home.
SCULLY: Betts?
MULDER: Yes!
SCULLY: Without his head?
MULDER: Yes!
SCULLY: Mulder you are nuts! And I don’t even know how to respond to that.<
Mulder talks to Michele the ambulance driver. He questions her. She tells him all kinds of stuff about how Lenny could just look at you and tell you if you had cancer. He was a cool guy!
We see the severed head being pulled from some kind of mummification fluid while Scully explains the whole thing and why they are doing this. Then both are in a lab with a doctor looking person who is examining sections of the head under a microscope. He says something must be screwed cause this is not right. Scully looks and says that this head is really just one big tumor. Mulder orders a slice to go and they leave.
Michele the ever-friendly ambulance driver is at work and just pulling up the the hospital when she thinks she hears Betts on the radio.
Mulder and Scully high tail it to the University of Maryland and Scully tells old college tales on the way. They give a slice of the head to a pal of Mulder’s...
CHUCK: Cool a human head! I never get to work on humans!
SCULLY: Just what are you going to do and are the results reliable?
CHUCK: That depends.
SCULLY: On What?
CHUCK: On whether you like what the results are.
CHUCK: Well there you go.
SCULLY: And what?
CHUCK: I don’t know I only work here! I have no idea what you are looking for in this but there is the head and the outline of shoulders..
MULDER: Would you believe it Chuck if I told you that this was a decapitation?
CHUCK: No way!
MULDER: Way!
SCULLY: It’s ok I often don’t believe him either! Come on Mulder lets go! I’m bored and it’s almost time to catch the fashion review on E!
Mulder and Scully go and see Mama Tanner. The question her. She says her son was Albert not Lenny and he died 6 years ago. Of course Scully wants proof!
Michele is still curious about the voice thing on the radio so she goes to check it out. She finds out that the guy on the radio is on break and over there. She sees him and runs after him. Finally she catches up and low and behold its Betts! She is stunned they chatted and hug all friendly like till Betts pulls out a needle and jams her with it. He apologizes as he she dies. The night guard saw the whole thing and chases Betts! He catches up with Betts before he gets in to the car. The guard handcuffs Betts to the car door and goes off for help. Betts really doesn’t like jail so he rips off his thumb and pulls his hand out of the cuff and flees.
Mulder bends down and places the thumb in an evidence bag. Scully walks over and explains what the guard saw. Scully is forced to hold her own umbrella as she does not make enough money to afford an umbrella slave. And it is snowing... In Vancouver! No way! It is only supposed to rain eternally there not snow! Anyway, she is forced to endure yet another Mulderism that would send Charles Darwin spinning in his grave with wild talk of rejuvenation. Scully doesn’t buy it but amuses when a cop informs them that the car Betts was cuffed to belongs to a one Mama Tanner. They open the trunk and find a cooler with lots of assorted types of cancer. Mulder figures it all out and go to see Mama Tanner a visit.
Scully and Mulder arrive with a warrant and drill Mama Tanner on the where abouts of her son. Mama Tanner stays mum except for the sad story of Betts’s youth, which fall on deaf un-caring emotionless ears of Scully.
Ah... But we are now in a bar. Some drunk is watching the recap of the Super Bowl, as Betts quickly scans him to see if he has cancer and if it would be a nice lite snack. The drunk indeed does and Betts follows him outside to the car. Where Betts tells the drunk. "Sorry but you have something I need." And he kills him.
Mulder and Scully are still at Mama Tanners when they get a little lead, and make a mad dash to a storage facility. At the storage facility we see Betts eat cancer and get blood all over thing then we watch him morph shed regenerate or what ever it is he does.
Mulder and Scully pull up to the storage place see blood and simultaneously pull their guns. They open the door to reveal the dead drunk and see what they think is Betts behind the wheel of the car. They jump out of the way as this Betts looking person tries to run them down. Doesn’t he know that it is a Federal Offensive to try and run down FBI Agents? Mulder and Scully both take target shots at the car and it explodes, no it was not a Pinto. It was a Camero. And all presume Betts dead yet again.
Scully does a quickie autopsy on the Dead drunk during the commercial break and tells Mulder the results.
SCULLY: Well the dancing bears was a hit! The chicken that crossed the road for a Bud was a flop! The Penny thing was OK, The best add during the Super was the cows and the Pepsi. You know Mulder that sherrif sort of reminded me of you!
MULDER: No the results of the adds during the Super Bowl I want the results of the autopsy!
SCULLY; He dead of massive blood loss and also had his cancer removed.
SCULLY: Well I know for a fact Betts is dead this time!
MULDER: Wanna bet!
SCULLY: NO! Because you probably have it rigged so I’d loose and make me do the Macrena with the Madonna tits on in the office again!
Mama Tanner baths her not so alive not so dead son with his favorite Iodine bath solution and mumbles how he needs to rest and get strong cause the FBI is on to him and will hunt him down like a dog. Then tells him "You know what to do."
Mulder and Scully decide to stake out Mama Tanner’s happy abode and have a chat in the car before an ambulance pulls up in front of the Tanner estate. Mulder and Scully run to the ambulance, draw their guns and scream FBI! The to EMT’s immediately deny everything and explain they were on call and someone in there is in need of medical attention. Mulder and Scully crash the door down and search the house. Scully finds Mama Tanner in her bed with an open wound. The EMT’s take Mama Tanner to the hospital, Scully goes with while Mulder calls for an all out search of the area for one rejuvenating mutant.
SCULLY: Why do I have to ride with her! I want to look for the mutant!
MULDER: NO WAY! Little Ms. the last time you were around mutants... well never mind! Your manager told me NOT to let you alone with mutants! So go on go with Mama Tanner.
SCULLY: What the Hell?
MULDER: What Scully?
SCULLY: I don’t know Mulder, either I need to go and yell at my hair stylist for a better hair dye job or I think the mutant Betts is around and is leaving Iodine droppings everywhere. Get over here! I’m gonna search the top of this ambulance in the meantime.
Scully goes into Kung-Fu mode and proceeds to punch the shit out of the cancer loving mutant. Then Karate chops and does a pretty good imitation of Bruce Lee before Betts gets a few good whacks on Scully. Scully sees the difibulator cranks it on and waits for the charge as Betts comes at her one more time. Scully holds the paddles on Betts face and fries his sorry butt, sending him backwards out the closed doors of the ambulance and crashing to the pavement from the force of the electrical shock.
SCULLY: OK Joan Rivers! You are next! I saw the Fashion show you and your kid did! And I’m sure you had no clue that I knew karate when you made all those comments! Well after I deal with this cancer thing, Hon you are next!
MULDER: I think he is really dead this time at least for now.
SCULLY: I want to go home.
MULDER: Hey Scully, you did good and the right thing. That was smart I would have never thought of use a difibulator! I’d dragged the fight scene ut for hours losing my gun and getting beaten to a bloody pulp.
SCULLY: Don’t remind me I saw all the out takes of your fights with X. Just take me home!
Closing Scene -
The clock says 2:08... Hey that ain’t right it is supposed to always say 10:13! We see Scully still in those generic boring PJ’s and she is coughing. Oh no! She is having a nose bleed. I don’t suppose she also experienced time loss... Hey maybe she did hence the 2:08 instead of 10:13 on the clock. Either way I think it is about time Scully and Chris Carter find out what really happened to her during the abduction....
[ Nothingness Reviews | Pictures | Main ]
Fusion Web Design®1997 All Rights Reserved