Gethsemene

5/19/97
GETHSEMENE
"Gethsemene, A Nothingness Review"
by C.Schmidt ®

Disclaimer: ..........Um... Um... I disclaim it! Besides it is biggest of lies, and I believe the lie, even if the truth is out there, I will deny it, because I trust no one, as the government denies knowledge, you know, Deceive, Inveigle, Obfuscate, but I want to believe! And Homer is a dope!

Opening Scene -

Wait this ain’t the show, it’s a bunch of nerdie looking people with fat ties, ugly suits and bad hair cuts. Oh there we go it's Scully! Scully walks through the sea of official looking people into a very familiar looking apartment. The detective shows her a body on the floor and she confirms the identity then leaves. We quickly cut to a well what looks like a highly important meeting as there is a huge table with lots of important looking suit types sitting around the table. Scully walks in and gives a recap of the last four years and then proclaims that Mulder was a pawn and believed the biggest of lies.....

Cue Music -

"A brave man once requested me. To answer questions that are key. Is it to be or not to be. And I replied; "Oh, why ask me." ‘Cause suicide is painless, it brings on many changes, and I can take or leave it if I please."
‘Suicide is Painless - Song From M*A*S*H’
Mike Altman and Jonny Mandel

Somewhere in a place with lots of snow we see a chopper and some scientist looking people talking about how cool something looks. They hike up a mountain and then into a cave and see the something cool. Meanwhile in another time frame Scully is still at the important meeting with the big table telling her story and fielding questions....

SCULLY: I believe, well actually I don’t believe that is why I was assigned to this piece-o-crap division.

FBI BOSS GUY #1: Piece-o-crap? Well that is a wonderful way to describe your division.

SCULLY: Well it is, we are stuck down in a basement, there is no room down there for one. We get all the crap cases for two and three I didn’t even get a desk! So how else would I describe it? Anyway, recent events will serve to prove that fact that Mulder was full of shit with his belief in ET...

FBI BOSS GUY #1: ET! I thought you guys looked for monsters and aliens not watched for the latest John Tesh and Mary Hart sightings.

SCULLY: Well sir, ET failed him, ok not just ET but all those tabloids...

FBI BOSS GUY #1: Oh you mean with all the alien autopsies like that low-life that passes for TV network, FOX shows during the summer?

SCULLY: Well that is part of the bigger lie, but I will get into that in the other Senate hearing I am due to spill my guts and come clean in this afternoon. But Agent Mulder, Um... by the way he has an alter ego a twin if you will well if you believe that sort of stuff...

FBI BOSS GUY #1: He does! And who would that be! This is the first I have....

SCULLY: Yeah his look alike is David Duchovny and well Mulder feels a certain closeness to this David person....

FBI BOSS GUY #1: Do you have an alter ego Agent Scully?

SCULLY: Um... well I have been told... wait I am not hear to discuss my twin but Mulder’s and how it has barring on my findings.

FBI BOSS GUY #1: Ok, then Agent Scully please continue...

SCULLY: Thank you. Well the x-files division was under funded, like I stated. I never even got a desk, and also the x-files is a big load of crap designed to distract the people of this country from the much larger truths by covering it with lies -and bad ones too if I might add. Who would believe the bees and oily aliens crap other than Mulder...Anyway, these lies... They were lies that we were led to believe and other large words that make great political rhetoric. Anyway Mulder lost all belief this past week with the media as they botched his twins big wedding plans. Oh but here is a another good lie the press is creating It was Duchovny that cost the Knicks to lose in the playoffs! He threw coffee and one of the Heat players ....

FBI BOSS GUY #1: Whoa! No way!

SCULLY: Well sir, he was... Um... See Duchovny was on his honey moon in New York and they took in a ball game. One of the players from the Heat was making a pass at the bride. Duchovny got mad and slung hot coffee on him and an all out fight erupted on the court, causing the referees to suspend the entire starting line up for both teams. And well the Heat won the next game because their bench is better. They also went on to win the series later but...

FBI BOSS GUY #1: Wait I thought the person that started the fight was that no good ex-college football star that opted for the NBA what’s his face...

SCULLY: Charlie Ward. Well That is what the real press would led you to believe. So let me continue .....

Cut to a Scully family dinner party. Scully looks very not Scully, no power suit, hey if I didn’t know any better I’d say she was that chick on that new video with robots what’s the name? Anyway, Billy Jr.... Whoa! Billy Jr. As in a Scully brother. No way I thought the Acully boys never showed for family things. Anyway big bother Bill shows up all decked out in a nice Navy uniform, and so does a priest. What is a priest doing at an event like this, who writes this stuff?

Anyway Scully drinks and sort of talks to the priest before Yep you guessed it Mulder calls and Scully like a good pet drops what she is doing and high tails it to see what Mulder wants. They go and visit some guy with an accent he shows them a picture of an alien. They chat about ice core stuff then leave. Mulder and Scully chat some more while they walk around the Smithsonian about Santa Claus and God. And since Scully is narrating this while she is being grilled by the FBI suites we switch make to the room with the big table.

SCULLY: Well I couldn’t go with him...

FBI BOSS GUY #1: Why?

SCULLY: Well my brother would be steamed for one, and my cancer was getting worse.

FBI BOSS GUY #1: Did agent Mulder know this?

SCULLY: Well.. um... no.

FBI BOSS GUY #1: You hid that from him? Why?

SCULLY: Um... because well if he knew um... Ok I saw the order form ok! He finally ordered my desk, and a nice one at that! And I wasn’t about to tell him that my cancer was spreading and I could croak at any minute for fear that he would well...

FBI BOSS GUY #1: Send the desk back.

SCULLY: Well yeah.... Damn it! Ok, one of the things we discussed was my dying last wish. His was aliens and I told him I didn’t really have a wish, which is a lie. I often have a dream that I am actually sitting behind my nice new big desk and there is even a name plate that reads Agent Scully on it.

FBI BOSS GUY #1: That is your goal in life?

SCULLY: Err well um yeah. OK I know it sounds dumb to you but I hold that dream very dear, so you see why I didn’t tell Mulder that my cancer ad speared. Anyway I did like Mulder told me which was go check on the ice core samples.....

Scully explains stuff and then we cut to the cold Canadian mountain cave where the really cool discovery is. The find something weird and then things that know one understands happens, plot, sub-plots fluff you know to drag the episode out....

Meanwhile the good faithful Agent Scully chats with an ice core know it all and he gives her the findings. Yeah more big scientific words. Something about a hybrid, but it could be bees or oily slimy aliens.. who knows but they are going to run more tests.

Back at our winter wonderland it is night and we really cant see but we know that someone shoots all the men on the alien dig. Mulder arrives and goes to the mountain where he finds the alien as been stolen! OK well after hearing some moaning they find a survivor and he tells him he buried the alien.

Scully in the meantime goes to the ice core storage facility. Of course someone is there and she sees him leave. Oh yeah he is also carrying this big long tube. Well it takes a few seconds for this to register in Scully’s brain... Hmm... must be the cancer. It must be slowing Scully’s train of thought. Any way as it turns out she chase the ice core sample thief and things happen Scully ends up in a stair way and gets knocked down a few flight of stairs.

Next brother Billy brings Scully a change of clothes and they sort of chat. Mulder brings in the alien body and they thaw that sucker out. Things actually happen a tad bit fast as next we see Scully talking to some chick about finger prints. Seems she had them dust the entire stair way for prints. They found one and after running a check it turns out to be WOW a government person, ex-Amy to be precise. Mulder in the mean time is happier then a tabloid reporter getting a scoop of a life time then making the news by having HOT coffee slung on him, as Mulder is watching the slicing and dicing of the alien. They film the autopsy so don’t be surprised if it airs this summer on FOX.

Scully trails the DOD guy and there is a bit of excitement and a chase scene in a parking garage. Scully busts the guy and then the narration at the FBI meeting with the big table continues...

SCULLY: Well Mulder found proof or so he claims of the alien. He even had a video.

FBI BOSS GUY #1: No way!

SCULLY: Yes way... but that evidence was destroyed. Either way I had proof that everything we have been lead to believe over the last four years was a hoax!

FBI BOSS GUY #1: How so?

SCULLY: Well, that DOD guy I chased down told me a really cool story, and I asked Mulder to come and take a listen...

We see Mulder drive to meet Scully and then we see a guy with a gun. This guy with a gun goes into the place where the now thawed and sliced up alien is and kills the guy with the accent.

The DOD Guys spills his guts to Mulder about the lies, Mulder doesn’t buy it and then the DOD guy tells Mulder the alien body is already gone. Mulder and Scully go and look and sure enough it’s gone. Mulder and Scully fight over the truth like always and then Scully lays the biggie on Mulder...

MULDER: What the hell did that guy say to you to make you believe him and not me?

SCULLY: You never order my desk! It was a lie you lead me to believe by blatantly leave receipts and the phone calls from the desk movers ect... shall I continue?

MULDER: He lies I did order it! He had to say something else what was it Scully? He told you about my fantasies didn’t he about my wet dreams of Melisa and Rat boy.... Or did we say I had your eggs?

SCULLY: The DOD guy spewed lots of good stuff the biggie was the desk and yeah he mentioned RatBoy and the eggs and something abut how he knows the guy that gave me the cancer to make you believe the lie. But like I said it was the desk that made me believe him and I feel deceived by you! How could you Mulder!

Mulder leaves.... Next we see that clip of the nerdie looking people with fat ties, ugly suits and bad hair cuts again. Only this time we know why we see it. Mulder is watching one of his favorite tapes and crying. Then Scully continues with the narration at the FBI meeting with the big table...

SCULLY: Early this morning I got a call from the police. Asking me to come to Agent Mulder’s apartment. The detective asked me..needed me to identify a body.

FBI BOSS GUY#1: Agent Scully...

SCULLY: Hush! I’m in a real dramatic scene here and you are distracting me! The last time that happened I kicked Tea off the set. So hush while I make my lips quiver and my eye brow freeze like Spocks and lay on few tears for the Emmy... Cause that piece of hardware is MINE this year!

FBI BOSS GUY#1: Oh sorry do go ahead....

SCULLY: Agent Mulder dead late last night from an apparent self inflicting gunshot wound to the head......

THE END