1/13/97
TALITHA CUMI
"Nothingness Review..... Talitha Cumi"

by C.Schmidt ®


Disclaimer/Warning: All rights not reserved 1997





Opening Scene -
We see a fast food joint. Someone is not to please and begins to shoot the place up. They most have gotten is order wrong, and well the customer is always right. These fast food people need to remember that! Or we will break out our guns like this young whipper snapper. Well the dude from the old Sci-Fi show "The Invaders" shows up to save the day. But like all old TV stars this one is now a Soap Opera actor. Any way he heals all the people that got shoot..... Cue Music -
"Hakuna matata. What a wonderful phrase. Hakuna matata. Ain't no passing craze. It means no worries, for the rest of your days. It's our problem free, philosophy, Hakuna matata."
'Hakuna matata'
Disney People


Mulder and Scully pull up in the Taurus to a customer gone nuts-o restaurant....

SCULLY: I'm a doctor! Where's the bleeding people?

ER GUY: Um... Ma'am, this is weird, cause well...

MULDER: Come on we ain't got all day, where all the injured?

SCULLY: Are we to late? Did they die already?

ER GUY: Um... no...

SCULLY: Well let me at them!

ER GUY: Well they aren't hurt no more. That is what I have been trying to tell you.

SCULLY: WHAT!?! No way! You mean we hurried over here for NOTHING! Who made the call lets bust them for falsifying an emergency... and interrupting my lunch!

MULDER: Hold up Scully, I think this might be a real case for us...

SCULLY: What the hell are you rambling about Mulder? We were having a nice lunch and get this prank, I see no case just some jerk kid that should be taught a lesson! I mean next thing you know this kid could be gluing the lockers at his school as a prank, and THAT is distruction of School property!

MULDER: No no Scully, I mean obviously something happened and well I call healling the sick an x-file.

SCULLY: Mulder it's called modern medicine and I do it all the time, heal the sick that is... I'm a DR DAMN IT!

MULDER: Um... Scully you don't heal no body, you slice and dice them remember? Besides That is not what I mean...

SCULLY: So what one technicality, I could heal people you know. I did go to school for that.

MULDER: Well what medical school? You know I was never able to find what school you got your degree from.

SCULLY: Yeah so what difference does it make. I don't need to use my training here they are all healed.

MULDER: Well that is what I mean about we do have something to look into. I mean it is not every day a guy gets mad cause they botched his order and starts shooting the place up, then all the people he shoots are healed before...

SCULLY: Mulder can it! It was a prank! A hoax! A BIG LIE!

MULDER: Then explain that.


Mulder and Scully talk to one of the guys that was shot then healed. Scully lifts the guy's shirt...

SCULLY: Um... Mulder its a stomach. This man as a stomach a nice firm one too, but he has one just like the rest of the men in the world.

MULDER: No no look a bullet hole in his shirt.

SCULLY: Um... Mulder how do you know it's a bullet hole? He be just a hole because the guy is to cheep to by a new shirt.

MULDER: Then explain how come all these people saw the same thing.

SCULLY: Why do I have to explain? Besides who knows and who cares. I'm hungry and since we are here I'm gonna get me a Big Mac.


Mulder questions some people while Scully downs a Big Mac, Super Sized fry and a Super Sized Coke. Meanwhile The CSM and Mulder's Mama have an interesting little chat, and someone is spying on them too! Later back at the crime scene Scully is finishing the apple pie for dessert and Mulder gets a call from Skinner, telling him Mama Mulder had a stroke. Mulder and Scully hightail it to the hospital to see Mama Mulder. She gives Mulder a clue "PALM." Mulder is convinced this has something to do with the restaurant thing and drags Scully back to the basement to watch videos. Mulder leaves.

The Next day at a Social Security office several thugs, OOPS government looking types storm the building. The healing person, let's call him the healing clone tries to make a break for it but to no avail. They catch him and take him to a high security type jail house.
Meanwhile Mulder meets with X at his old summer home...

X: He was here with her, you know.

MULDER: Who and how do you know this who

X: Cause I got pictures! And they argued he left she collapsed. I call 911 then fled. Wanna see the pictures?

MULDER: You are a lair! Why would my mama hang around the likes of Cancer man?



X hands Mulder the pictures...

X: See for your self. And as you can see they know each other. If I didn't know any better I'd say...

MULDER: Shut up! No way would mama take up with him!

X: Well I didn't say that but ya know he could be your...

MULDER: No he is not!

X: Could be... After all how much do you really know about him?

MULDER: Enough... well I did help write this help so..

X: That means nothing! Chris Carter also wrote this EP and well we all know he as know idea where he is going with this story line. For all we know there could be killer bee's and slimy oily things in the next EP.

MULDER: Why would there be bees? Besides there is no way he is my daddy!

X: Whatever... all I know is they agreed and well he wanted something... Didn’t get it so he left.

MULDER: What did he want?

X: How the hell should I know I didn’t write this EP!


X Leaves and Mulder sulks. Mean while back at the FBI Place, Scully bumps into Jeremiah Smith. She questions him. It is agreed he is innocent. So they let him go but warn him not to leave town. Back at the summer Mulder home, Mulder tries to figure things out. Somehow he realizes "PALM" means lamp and starts breaking all the lamps, until he finds.... The Clone Skewer!

The CSM goes to see the good healing clone, and he morphs into all kinds of people. Needless to say the CSM is not impressed and leaves. Back in DC Mulder demands Skinner get in touch with the cancer man. Mulder gets mad and leaves dragging Scully with. They go to see Mr. Smith in the social security office. They ask him to come with them but he morphs and they loose him in the crowd. Meanwhile the other Mr.Smith morphs some more for the CSM.

Before the next commercial break we see the guy the one free Mr. Smith morphed into standing outside the high security prison where the other Mr. Smith is being housed, then the free Mr. Smith morphs again this time into the Arnie Clone, and he is armed with a clone skewer! He goes to skew the imprisoned Mr. Smith but he is GONE!

Mulder in the meantime is visiting mama, when he runs in to the CSM....

CSM: You rang.

MULDER: How do you know my mama?

CSM: Wouldn't you like to know! Hey where’s that little red-headed partner of yours she is hot!

MULDER: She is at home probably stuffing her face with ice cream. Now tell me! How you know mama?

CSM : First give me the clone skewer.

MULDER: Don't got it.

CSM: Lair! Give it to me and I'll tell ya all ya want to know.

MULDER: I told you I don't have it!




A nurse interrupts....

NURSE: Hey you with the smoke get out of here! There is no smoking in the hospital!

CSM: Oh sorry, but see I am used to doing what I want, and that means smoking when and where I please! So fuck off!

NURSE: Don't make me hurt you!

CSM: Oh like I am scared! But I'll leave. See ya round Mulder.




Meanwhile Scully is surfing the net and comes across some interesting things. Mr. Smith has like a lot of look a likes and they all work for the Social Security people. She wraps up the work and then surfers for the fun stuff only to find that all the good sites closed done!

Mulder meets X in a garage. X demands the clone skewer but Mulder won't give it up so they fight. Scully gets a visited, the real Mr. Smith, the good healing clone. She calls Mulder and they agree to meet at some warehouse factory place....

MULDER: Who are you?

SMITH: The good clone.

MULDER: Huh?

SCULLY: Let him talk Mulder.

SMITH: Yeah let me speak, cause I have a lot to tell you.

MULDER: Ok, but first lets go see my mama. You can heal right?

SMITH: Yeah sure....




Just then another car pulls up, Mulder whips out the clone skewer, Scully whips out her big gun and the mean, big, bad, ugly Arnie Clone rushes towards them.....


TO BE CONTINUED.........


THE END








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