10:05pm
A normal Americian teen plays kill kill video games whilist listening to the normal everyday mega heavy metal death music. Dad comes home and sees the boy didn't do his chores. Dad busts in the boy's room. "Bobby! Get your sorry ass out there now!" Dad drags the boy outside and proceedes to lecture him on the proper edicit of farm tools and equipment care. Then tells him to finish is chores. The boy goes berserko and gets all violent then whimps out and runs into the family hazelnut tree farm orchard thing. Dad chases... We see a dude carrying an axe and tut tut it looks like rain as thunder BANG! lighting CRASH start like happening... The trees trip dad up and start sucking into the ground. Mud and dirt is inhaled -sort of reminds us of Bill Clinton. We are left with the boy standing over the dad, maybe helping maybe not while mom watches....
Cue Music-
"There is unrest in the forest, there is trouble with the trees. For the Maples want more sunlight and the Oaks ignore their pleas. The trouble with the Maples (and they're quite convinced they're right): they say the Oaks are just too lofty and they grab up all the light. But the Oaks can't help their feelings if they like the way they're made. And they wonder why the Maples can't be happy in their shade. There is trouble in the forest, and the creatures all have fled, as the Maples scream "Oppression!" and the Oaks just shade their heads. So the Maples formed a Union and demanded equal rights, "The Oaks are just too greedy. We will make them give us light." Now there's no more Oak oppression, for they passed a noble law. And the trees are all kept equal by hatchet, axe, saw."
'The Trees'
Rush
Department of the Corner
11:08pm
SCULLY: 12lbs 9ozs.
MULDER: Thats a big baby to heave out. Piper or Emily for that matter, looked bigger then that, how did you ever manage?
SCULLY: That is the amount of dirt from this dead man you dorkweed!
MULDER: Oh, so what killed him then?
SCULLY: All the mud in his lungs is what did him in...
MULDER: Is it possible he took the term "mud pie" like for real?
SCULLY: That is the dumbest attempt at comic relief I have heard you say in, in, well since the show started!
MULDER: If you think that was bad you ain't seen nothing yet as I got lots more for this episode.
SCULLY: Why do I get the feeling that I'm not going to like this episode? Anyway back to the case at hand. So where was I? Oh yeah, Ahem! Funny you should make that dumb comment...
MULDER: See there was a reason for it!
SCULLY: May I continue? I'm about to give you the details concerning this man's death.
MULDER: Sure...
SCULLY: Thank you. As I said funny you made that dumb comment as this dead man would probably have been the only one to laugh at your joke, he had a wonderful sense of humor. He was also probably the most loved and respected man in town, so why would anyone want to murder him?
MULDER: Well, that's why we are here. To find out why. So what have you concluded so far?
SCULLY: Well I have concluded that, there will never be peace in Bosina, Sadam Hussain will never let US inspectors look at the insides of his palace,that no one will ever circle the world in a hot air ballon and if I win the Globes this time around you will be the first person I thank.
MULDER: I mean about this case, and thanks btw...
SCULLY: Oh, yeah the case. well, I have come to the conclusion that this man head was held forcably down in the Michagin mud for a little to long by his step son who was named in the report as Bobby Rich age 16.
MULDER: Did you know they had to use a backhoe to pull him out of the mud?
SCULLY: Yep.
MULDER: Oh, ok , so then explain to me how a 6'4' 250lb man was buried in less then 5minutes in mud by a 16 year old boy who his freinds lovingly refere to as dick.. err sorry, dorkweed then Ms. Know it all.
SCULLY: Easy.... rain.
MULDER: Huh?
SCULLY: Easy, Mulder it's called rain. Something that they had 400 inches of a day for a few days.
MULDER: Um... Scully this is Michigan not Vancouver. In Vancouver I would believe it but in Michigan... well I think you are exaggerating that a bit.
SCULLY: Don't like the rain huh?
MULDER: No that's why next year we will see more sun!
BOBBY: Who the hell is Kennedy? And I didn't do it!
MULDER: Which one? JFK, RFK, Teddy, William Kenndey Smith, Joe or Micheal?
BOBBY: Dude what are you talking about?
MULDER: Well you asked who was Kennedy? And I was trying to determine which one you hadn't heard of.
BOBBY: Well I know better then to go skiing thanks to Micheal Kennendy and Sonny Bono. But I never heard of the others.
MULDER: I still don't see how all the dirt got in the dead guy.
SCULLY: Well, you really wanna know my answer?
MULDER: If I didn't I wouldn't have asked. Besides you always give good explainations that make 100% sense and they turn me on.
SCULLY: Well, first that's sick, second thanks, I think.... And well, Um... the explaintion..... Um... Well...
MULDER: You don't have a clue do you?
SCULLY: Yes I do! When you fight for air, much like you will be doing soon if you don't stop being a smart ass! You create a vacuum...
MULDER: Like the gaint sucking sound Ross Perot promised? Or something more sexual?
SCULLY: Will you let me finish!
MULDER: Sorry, I'm just trying to get a mental image of what happened.... please continue.
SCULLY: Mental is correct, but back to what I was saying.... When you fight for air a vacuum is created and when he sucked a mouth full of mud it turned his esophagus into a siphon and with his head being pushed down it filled all his passages with mud like a gas can and thus caused his death. There! Yeah that is what happened! Damn I'm good!
MULDER: LOL! And you said my "mud pie" line was lame. Please!
SCULLY: Well you asked, so did you get a better mental image?
MULDER: No. Um.. what ya looking at Scully?
SCULLY: Dunno know, looks like a guy watching us holding an axe....
MULDER: What?? Stop him so we can question him.
SCULLY: Hey you with the axe! Stop! Federal Agents!
MULDER: Oh that was good. I meant go chase his butt down.
SCULLY: Can't...
MUDLER: Why not?
SCULLY: He heard me and ran away.
Now it is night and we see Lisa walking alone in the street. Bobby drives up and tries to talk but she don't won't to and goes home. Her dad watchs then says he don't like that loser etc etc... Well Lisa goes up stairs and dad comes, there is a minor confrontation and dad ends up being pulled from the window and falls to his death......
Mulder and Scully visit the scene of the crime, Mulder plays with the broken glass while Scully gives the low down on the dead man. He was pushed and Bobby's name comes up. Lisa is talking to the shrink, Karen Matthews, when Scully and Mulder show up to question her. Scully grills the girl alone while Mulder pumps the shrink for info. She tells some back ground info on Lisa and about abuse and her treatement through empowerment and something about an anunt is mentioned.
Mulder and Scully go back to Lisa's and walk around the room a bit. Mulder now thinks the dad was pulled not pushed from the window Scully as usual thinks he is nuts. Meanwhile back at the school the FBI comes and Scully drags Bobby from class. Bobby is being a tough guy and starts to try and be a smart ass. Scully is having a bad hair day and stands for none of his shit and gives him the "stare." The boy cowers and does as Scully says. At the same time Mulder is at the corners asking quetions, something about a broken neck is mentioned and a splinter is found. Back at school Scully examines the boy for drug use. Mulder shows up and shows Scully the splinter.
It is now night and Lisa stays with the shrink Karen until her Aunt is suppose to pick her up in the morning, only Lisa doesn't know the shrink is really psycho woman. Mulder and Scully go back to Lisa's and look at trees....
SCULLY: So you think this splinter killed all these people?
MULDER: Not exactly...
SCULLY: Well what exactly do you think is going on and why are you climbing that tree?
MULDER: Well, I think the trees are involved some how.... And I'm attempting to demonstrate my boyish aglity....
SCULLY: How and why?
MULDER: By climbing this tree... and to turn you on... is it working?
SCULLY: No! I meant how and why the tree...
MULDER: Becuase it is here. And I was very good at climbing them as a kid, used to turn all the girls on when I'd climb in the summer wearing no shirt and cut off shorts... As a matter of fact that was how I lost my virginaty...
SCULLY: You lost yor vigrinaty to a tree?
MULDER: No I impressed this one chick and.....
SCULLY: Mulder it's not working on me and I meant how and why the trees are killing people. Do you think this is some kind of poticial correct ghost gone bad, like you know killing all the tree lovers....
AXEMAN: It's the trees, they are dying....
SCULLY: Oh, you scared me! Um... Mulder!
MULDER: It's working right, you are all hot and bothered and need me to come down right?
SCULLY: Sort a.... Um I think you should come down here now Mulder.
MULDR: I knew you wouldn't be able to resist my manlyness...
SCULLY: Not likely but there is a strange guy down here with an axe.....
Mulder and Scully show up at pyscho shrink's home. They question her, she gets defensive and bluntly blows them off then lies by saying Lisa ain't here. Meanwhile Lisa sees Mulder and Scully leave and tries to get their attention but to no avail. More wierdness from the psycho shrink happens.
Mulder and Scully go grave digging and find psycho shrink's dad grave but then when they dig it up well let's just say we get the classic, "Mulder, where's the body line?" from Scully. As there is no body only roots. Back at pyscho shrink's house wierdness fills the air. The Aunt shows up to get Lisa, but psycho shrink say she ain't there. But the Aunt hears Lisa and finds her in a basment only to be shoved through the window and killed.
It's now night and our grave diggers chat while going to the car.
SCULLY: Well you still ain't answered my question.
MULDER: Which one would that be?
SCULLLY:What happened to Karen's father''s body?
MULDER: Well it wasn't grave diggers.
SCULLY: No that was us, but what happened Mulder?
MULDER: Nothing, we came and dug up a grave I tried to turn you on this time with my manlyness again by flexing my muscles while digging and all you gave in response was "Where's the body Mulder!" so see nothing happened.
SCULLY: I mean with Karen's dad!
MULDER: Oh that, it was nature and the trees.
SCULLY: What!
MULDER: The trees did it, killed the people removed the body all that.
SCULLY: This is crazy! It wasn't the trees it was human anger, come on here Mulder there was all those silient killers, you know family secrets, insest, abuse etc... these things have a way of coming back to huant one you know...
MULDER: Yeah and the trees did it!
SCULLY: Huh?
MULDER: The trees did it for the kids, you even said they were weak and unable to empower themselfs so the trees did it. See an act of nature. Why is it everyone gets to do acts of nature execpt for us?
SCULLY:This is so lame! I'm leaving!
The trees attack Mulder by falling everywhere and blocking the road, they almost even kill him. Mulder is determine to get to the "root" of the problem and goes it on foot. Psycho shrink turns up at Bobby's house. She gets pyschial with the mom and Bobby runs. Psycho shrink chases Bobby into the orchards. Bobby gets brave and decides now is the time to take a stand only it is in mud and the roots start to pull him in. Mulder shows up just in time to help but he too is being pulled under by the roots.. Just as all looks doomed the axeman appears out of no where and beheads the pyscho shrink. All are safe the trees call off thier attack and the boy and Mulder are relaesed.
Closing voice over -
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