ALWAYS

CODA WRITTEN IN RESPONSE TO

"TIMELESS"

Written by: Veronica Jane Williams

DISCLAIMER: Paramount owns Voyager, Kathryn and Chakotay and Harry.

RATING: NC-17

ALWAYS

In their white envirosuits they resembled much the polar bears of Earth's Arctic wastelands as they blended in with the pristine, stark whiteness of the ice planet. To say they walked, would have been a misnomer as they plodded their way through the thick snow and ice, searching, searching, until one of them bent down, pointing with his tricorder to the other, while at the same time he cleared away some of the ice.

Like an image in a mirror, beneath the glassy surface, he could make out the letters, or some of them: NCC-74656. He felt a rush of emotion, so powerful his eyes began to sting with tears. For long moments he stared. His head bent now, and closing his eyes, like a prayer, escaped from him:

"At last, Kathryn my love, I've found you."

*************

Chakotay transported them to the interior of the ship. He found the bridge. While Harry searched, his own feet carried him to the command chairs. Their bodies lay close to where they last were, he noted. And almost in bizarre fashion, preserved by the ice. He bent down and looked at her. For he knew it was her. Even through her ice covered body, he could see her hair, almost red, shoulder length. He reached out a hand and touched the icy cheek, almost willing her to come to life again. His eyes were fevered as he uttered over and over, like a litany.

"We will be together again my love, alive, alive..."

Sitting there next to Kathryn Janeway's body, he remembered their last night together. She'd invited him to dinner in her quarters.

"It's a special occasion," she said, "our last night in the Delta Quadrant."

He looked at her, her hair beautiful and shining in the light, loved her all over again and knew instinctively that she had come to a decision.

"You and Harry will take the Delta Flyer," she said, as if her words brooked no argument. "Voyager will be right behind you."

He sighed. Told her the crew would be very happy.

"What about you, Chakotay?" she asked softly, her eyes in earnest appeal on him. He could see she waited for his answer. He pointed out the dangers, expressed his concern, his apprehension.

"We could find another way home. We've waited this long - "

"Long enough, Chakotay. We've waited long enough."

He thought back on the time they were in the void, when she shut herself away in her quarters, doubting the decisions she made for the crew. Withdrawing from everybody. From him. Not wanting to see anyone, save him alone. Her fears he witnessed then. How he was privy to her thoughts, her doubts, her loss of faith in her own ability to lead.

He saw in her eyes the desperation. The fear of having to remain in the Delta Quadrant, when home... home was only a touch away...

Her eyes were fevered.

"I know the risks, Chakotay. But I'm willing to take it."

He saw her resolve, and knew what her next question would be, even as he knew his own answer.

"Are you with me?"

"Always."

Always Kathryn. Like I promised you so long ago. I swore I'd be by your side forever.

He watched how her body relaxed, the relief clear in her face as she looked down first, almost as if in prayer, then turned her face to him again. He imagined she said: "You'll never regret it, Chakotay."

She rose from her chair, walked round him, paused. Her face was close to his. Resting her hand on his shoulder, then her palm cupped his cheek. He felt the warmth of her hand flowing through him, his own hand going up to cover hers. For endless seconds they remained like that. He closed his eyes, drank in her scent, her nearness. She stood so close to him. He looked up again, into her face, and saw the promise.

**************

"Always," he murmured into her hair later.

They finished their dinner in silence, each thinking. He would look up at her, see the shine in her eyes, the peace. He would smile at her, his smile telling her not to worry. Sometime, while they ate, he saw a shadow again, and touched her hand where it rested on the table. He gave it a reassuring squeeze. Then he would see her smile, her eyes that seemed to light up at the same time. His heart burned with love for her in those moments. He wanted to preserve the moment, engrave it on his brain, locked and treasured for all time in his memory. It was that smile, her hand coming up, to touch his, palm against palm, fingers lightly touching, feel the magical flow of peace from his heart right into hers. That smile that remained with him, always.

When he made to leave later, he rose from his chair. To thank her for the evening.

"Chakotay..." came her whisper. "Don't leave..."

"Kathryn?"

"I - " she paused, but looked him straight in the eye, not wavering, ...don't want to be alone tonight."

"Kathryn - "

"Please..."

How he longed for her to voice her need! To feel her arms around him, showering him with kisses. Always, always, he kept this respectful distance between them, respecting her wishes, observing parameters. Tonight, he saw those borders melt away, like snow in the sun, and standing in front of him, was Kathryn Janeway, and right at that moment, there was no Captain Janeway.

Who moved first? he wondered as his arms clamped convulsively around her. Did it matter? All that mattered was that she was in his arms, at last, holding him tightly, her face buried in his neck. His hand touched her hair, gently stroking it, and he pressed his lips where his hands had been.

He saw tears in her eyes when she raised her face to him.

"My love," he whispered hoarsely. "Four years is a long time for a man to go hungry. Too long I have waited."

"Four years, two months and eleven days," she said softly, and giving him her sweetest smile.

"No more tears then?" he asked.

"Only of happiness," she answered.

He bent his head to touch her lips with his, softly, almost tentatively. He felt her lips quivering under his. Rejoiced when she opened her mouth and his tongue plunged deep inside. Tasting her, swooning from the nectar in her mouth, she nipped his lower lip, her teeth biting, biting. There was no sound in the room, save their breathing.

She moaned as he deepened the kiss, his hands in her hair, her head held back. Then he buried his mouth against her neck, nipped her ear lobe. She gasped at that.

"Kathryn," he breathed heavily, "I want you..."

"Then love me, Chakotay, my love..." she rasped, as he felt her melting into him, aware already of his rock hard shaft against her stomach.

He broke off the kiss, looked into her eyes, and saw the tears. He hugged her to him again, his hand now against her head, and said:

"Don't cry, my love...let us have this moment in time forever."

He walked with her slowly to her bedroom, kissing, holding, not speaking. Removing their clothes as they went along. She pulled his jacket off, and splayed her fingers across his hard chest. Kissed him where her fingers had been moments before. He thrust his hands under her turtleneck, pulling it over her head, and looked at her, eyes smouldering. With a great sigh, he buried his face against her breasts, kissing her, then his lips covered her nipple, over the fabric of her bra. She gasped as she felt him suck, little shards of intense pleasure shooting through her. She felt her centre pulsing as he sucked her nipple.

"I love you, Kathryn Janeway, he murmured as he removed the last of her clothing, and lay her gently down on the bed.

"Always," he said as his body covered hers, and he brought his face close to her.

"Always," she said, as she held his face and kissed him. Kissed his tattoo, her lips lingering there. His hands were in her hair, he stroked her cheeks, felt her lips closing on his fingers.

He stroked her creamy skin, soft as velvet, and thought he could die in that moment. His tongue traced a fevered odyssey on her body, lapping, sucking, then capturing one nipple and sucking hard so that she screamed with the pleasure of it. Her hands moved between them, and she held his throbbing, hard sex and started moving up and down in lazy motions, feeling the friction as his skin moved over the ridges. Sending him crazy with need.

"Kathryn..."

"Hmmm...?"

"I love you..."

"Then love me..." she whispered as he slid down her body and parted her legs. His big hands covered each firm breast, kneading them. She gasped as she felt his mouth on her. Her hands cupped his head now, where his mouth brushed her centre. His lips grazing the damp curls where she was already awash and her juices flowing. She moaned softly as his tongue moved away her soft folds, and dipped inside her slit. Plunging deep into her. She raised her hips to him, and moved, finding a rhythm. They moved together, in concert, she bucking her hips against his mouth, and he plunging his tongue in, pulling, then plunging. He could feel she was near the edge as her body stiffened, every muscle protesting as she let out a long keening wail when his tongued plunged deep into her again. Sending her crashing over the edge. And screaming his name.

He didn't wait, but continued, his tongue unsheathing her clit, now pink and erect and quivering, as if waiting to be touched. Gripping it gently between his teeth, his tongue darted around her clitoris, tantalising as he made little circles, then flicked it on and on, until she screamed her release again, throbbing now wildly into him. He kept on sucking as she throbbed, floating slowly down.

"I love you, Chakotay," she murmured, her voice quivering, on the verge of tears again, her body covered in a sheen of sweat. But she rose, pressing him into a sitting position, then flipped him right over on his back.

"Two can play at this game," she said slyly as her mouth traveled over his body, kissing first his tattoo, her lips lingering there.

"My little wild Kat," he said, "have your way with me..."

She did. Holding his penis with both hands covering him, she made love to him. Her tongue lapping all the way from the base up, squeezing the ridge, then right up to his tip. There, her mouth would cover the tip, and her tongue would play little circles, dipping into the little slit. He groaned his pleasure.

"My God, you are some woman, Kat," he grunted, as he tried to raise his hips. But she would have none of it. She held him down, her mouth playing, playing, teasing, teasing, sucking at his tip until he begged her to stop.

"Kathryn...I - wait...I'm going to..."

Then she would release him for a second as her fingers squeezed his tip to hold back his orgasm. She would lick the first drops of his juice escaping. Her hand would gently squeeze his balls, as her tongue work his tip. He moaned again, but she held him fast as he tried to move.

"Kathryn, for God's sake," he begged. But she continued teasing, sucking, squeezing until he was a squirming wreck under her.

"What do you want, Chakotay..." she breathed against his rock hard shaft and let her tongue lap up all the way from the base to the tip.

"You..."

"Then it's me you'll have..." she breathed again, as her mouth covered him.

"Yes...ma'am..." he was still saying when he felt his penis being taken fully into her mouth now.

She sank slowly into him, relaxing her throat muscles, taking him deeper and deeper, until she could feel his glans moving comfortably over her gullet, the ridge of his tip creating such an erotic sensation, she felt her orgasm coming upon her, and when it did, pressed even deeper into him, her lips touching his hairs.

God, Kathryn..."

He moved now, and she moved with him. He bucked against her mouth until he screamed as he released himself painfully in her. His body sweating and heaving.

"Kathryn..." he whimpered as his body shuddered against her. Feeling his release coursing down her throat. Only then she released him. Licking him all the way to his tip.

She braced her hands over him on the mattress, and looked at his flushed face.

"Only because I love you, Chakotay," she said.

And before she could say anything more, he heaved himself up, threw her back, nudged her legs open with his knees, his tip hovering at her opening. He raised her knees so that her feet rested flat on the mattress, wide apart.

"My turn," he said as he rammed himself into her, giving a cry of victory as he saw her face contort, heard her cry as he filled her. Not giving her time to adjust, he moved into her, slowly at first, her sheath muscles closing and squeezing hard on his shaft. He groaned his pleasure, his hands grabbing her head, fingers twined in her glorious hair. Her body felt incredibly soft and silky under his, fitting her to him with perfection, as he continued moving lazily, wanting to prolong the moment of intense pleasure and satisfaction she was giving him. She gloried in feeling him in her, reaching so deep, she threw her head back, tossed from side to side, and felt, strangely, the tears flowing hotly from her.

He saw her tears, and kissed them while he moved in her, her body, hips swaying to meet his thrusts. It seemed she couldn't stop the tears as he thrust unto her, his body sweating, gasping, moaning, and whispering oh, the sweetest words of love to her.

They felt their bodies rising as his thrusts became faster, harder. He pounded into her, she called his name over and over and over as her head swam with the overpowering passion that raged through her body. Until finally...

****************

"Kathryn!!!" came his last, agonising scream... as Chakotay realised he was still sitting next to the body of Kathryn Janeway. He felt his hot tears, now flowing freely, as he stroked the cold cheek, touched the cold hand, his fingers going over her cold lips.

So still.

So still.

Soon, my love, he cried. We'll be together again. Soon.

"Chakotay," he heard Kathryn's voice through the mists of his memory.

"Yes...my love..."

"This is our beginning..."

"Yes, sweetheart. Our beginning. No more tears. No turning back.

"I want us to be together, always, from now on."

"Always..." he said, nuzzling his nose in her hair.

They were lying in a tangled mess of sheets, entwined limbs. Her head was against his chest, her eyes closed. They had made love most of the night. Their whispered promises on the wings of their passion.

"Never leave me..."

"I'm by your side always..."

"I need you, Chakotay..."

"As I need you..."

"No more parameters, Chakotay," she whispered desperately into his neck.

"I'm glad, my love."

"It's too lonely, here. I am alone."

"Never more, Kathryn, my love..."

"Whatever happens, Chakotay..."

"Whatever happens, my love..."

"Always..."

"Always..."

*****************

Chakotay rested his fingers on Kathryn's deathly pale lips.

Did you now, even then, my love? Of our parting? That I would live and you would die? Did you know even then?

"Chakotay..."

His reverie broken, he looked up in the face of Tessa. Kind, loving Tessa.

"It's her?" she asked.

He nodded.

"You never stopped loving her, you know..."

"Tessa..."

"Please, Chakotay," she whispered, "let me finish. You searched for her for fifteen years. Your heart was always here, on Voyager, with her..."

"Tessa - "

"Loving her, even knowing she died."

"Please, forgive me..."

"Yes...Chakotay. I have. Years ago, when you first called out her name in your sleep."

"I'm sorry, Tessa."

"Even when we made love. We never really made love, you know. Had sex. Yet you called out her name."

Chakotay looked at this woman who had been his companion so many years. He was fond of her, but always, always, hidden in his memories, the thought of her...his Kathryn. Whom he could never forget.

Who pledged to love him for all time. His heart contracted with such pain, it registered in his face. Just as he thought that they were together at last, their happiness was ripped from under them in the next moment. How happy they had been then. How happy. With the knowledge that they would be together even as they made it home.

Home.

He came home.

Without his Kathryn.

His heart bled for fifteen years.

"Chakotay..."

He looked at Tessa again.

"I don't regret the time we had together. I've always known your heart was here. Never with me. But I chose to be with you. Don't feel guilty, Chakotay. For me, just being with you, was enough for me."

But not for you, Tessa thought with great pain, but knew Chakotay had never ever really been happy. He never smiled, yet just now, as he looked at the body of Kathryn Janeway, she saw his smile, his face creasing into dimples she had never seen. She envied Kathryn Janeway, who even dead these fifteen years, could hold this angry warrior's heart captive.

"Come, Chakotay. Harry is ready now."

He looked at her with gratitude in his eyes, and kissed her briefly. Then she spoke:

"Come, your Kathryn is waiting for you."

THE END

How did you like this coda? Please let me know.

Veronica Jane Williams

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