Disclaimers, ratings and warnings are in Part 1.
THE BADLANDERS
PART NINETEEN
The next day Kathryn and the Voyager survivors along with Lieutenant Eldred Dickson transported from the Liberty to the Neruk. Chakotay and Doctor Krell had been transported first. Tom had been cleared to dock the Limpet in one of the Neruk's shuttle bays.
The Liberty, with Lon Suder in command, returned immediately to the Badlands. They would patrol the route for the next few weeks. Kathryn had no idea how long they themselves would be away, but she knew that they might have to return to the Badlands should things take a turn for the worse. Chakotay was a wanted in the Federation; he was despised in the Badlands. Once his memories were restored, they would effectively be on the run again.
The new arrivals had all been assigned to quarters by very impassive looking Vulcan officers, but Tuvok was there to ease their transition to a wholly Vulcan environment. They were still shell-shocked, heavy with memories of their traumatic experiences.
She, Tuvok and Doctor Krell were in the medical bay of the Neruk, where Chakotay lay as still as he had been the entire journey. She had met with Captain T'Krot who had been ultra reserved.
"Commander Tuvok is to be commended for the part he played in rescuing Captain Chakotay," he said.
"Captain, if it weren't for him, I would never have come this far. I owe him everything."
T'Krot nodded severely.
"Only upon Commander Tuvok's recommendations did we concur that the procedure to help Captain Chakotay restore his life would be the correct thing to do. A man who had been deprived of his very existence, deserves freedom. It is indeed a great honour, Captain Janeway."
"Thank you, Captain T'Krot. We are indebted to you. To Vulcan."
She felt light-headed with relief that they had made it safely out of the Badlands to rendezvous with the Neruk without being detected. Like the Klingon birds of prey, but not to the extent the Klingons have perfected their technology, the Neruk had cloaking capabilities but only under certain circumstances. It was not cloaked at present and was cruising at approximately warp seven. They would reach Vulcan only in two days, but it gave her enough time to mull over what she had found in Chakotay's cabin, and arrange for the rest of her crew, as well as Eldred Dickson to return home first. Harry surprisingly, had elected to stay and was going to travel with Tom in the Limpet once they left Vulcan. She had shaken her head when Tom said there was some unfinished business he had to attend to.
She too, had to prepare a full report on the total destruction of her vessel in which she lost one hundred and thirty members of her crew. On the Liberty there had been little time to absorb fully the loss of her ship and death of her crew. The trauma would hit her and it would hit at unexpected times, she knew. But Starfleet had to know that there were survivors. Kathryn sighed. How was she going to explain Chakotay?
On Tuvok's recommendation - a mere confirmation of her own thoughts on it - the best course of action would be that they never captured Chakotay at all. Given the nature of Voyager's disappearance and the explosion, such a scenario seemed plausible. Starfleet could send in experts to scan the area of the explosion and they could very possibly determine that many lives were lost.
How else could ten have survived then? That thought had given her headaches and the only conclusion she could come to was that Chakotay transported them not just because he wanted to use a few survivors for trading, but for the very reason he was lying in the medical bay of the Neruk. A deep, hidden power of which he was unaware impelled him to do what he had done.
Kathryn shook her head. If that were true, then was it her presence on Voyager that saved the lives of the other nine?
It was hard to swallow. Too hard. What happened on the Liberty would haunt her and haunt all the others for the rest of their lives. No matter how much Chakotay changed towards her, no matter what the hidden dimension of his life before the Badlands had been, she was going to remember the way a strip of leather tore her skin to pieces. It was something she would live with for always, just as Megan and Harry, Tuvok even, as well as the three other survivors and Eldred Dickson would have to live with their traumas for the rest of their lives. A whole lot of loving, spiritual support and counselling was going to be needed to help in the healing process.
And what of Tom? Nick Locarno? Nick hardly spoke about it, but his stay in the New Zealand penal colony had been no picnic.
She had refused to leave Chakotay's side, much to the annoyance of the doctor who had insisted that she should rest too. The procedure was going to be life threatening, but it was a risk worth taking, saving Chakotay's life.
Her hand crept to her neck, felt for the chain and locket. She closed her eyes. Remembered.
"Yours, Chakotay, to remember," she had told him that day and his eyes had been full of laughter, creasing as he smiled.
"Honey, I have everything a man could ever want. You didn't have to give me this, you know."
"Nonsense, every good man should wear one. Open it," she had commanded, her voice teasing.
Chakotay had opened the locket, stood quite mute for the longest time. Then he looked at her.
"I love you, Kathryn."
She had hugged him fiercely. It had been his birthday that day and she couldn't think of anything else to give him.
Now her fingers curled around the body of the locket. How had he managed to keep it? Had he worn it when they had done the procedure on him? Did Owen Paris even know that he was wearing it?
She sighed. Chakotay, in his new guise with his altered perceptions, could obviously not make any connection since there was no recognition, and therefore he must have thrown it at the bottom of the small trunk in his cabin where it lay forgotten by him, but it was such a critical link to his past.
Disturbed in her reverie by a sound, she looked up to see Chakotay stirring and moaning. Her eyes flew to the doctor.
"I thought you have given him enough sedatives to keep him sleeping, Doctor."
"Captain, I don't understand it myself. He wasn't supposed to wake up for at least another fifteen hours."
Chakotay kept moaning, tossing his head this way and that way until finally he opened his eyes. The doctor stood ready with another hypospray, but she shook her head.
"Please, let him wake up, even if only for a while," she suggested when she saw that his moans were only from his heavy slumber, the process of waking up.
"Janeway..."
Her heart sank.
"I'm Kathryn, remember?"
"Where am I?" he asked. "I was on the Liberty when - when I had this colossal headache."
"You collapsed on the bridge, Captain Chakotay," Doctor Krell replied. "You have been comatose since then."
"What? How long?" he asked, trying to sit up, but she pressed him back. He gave a sigh of relief. Raising himself must have given him pain.
"It's the third day. We are on our way to Vulcan."
"Vulcan?"
"Chakotay," she said gently, "remember what you said about feeling you're one version of yourself and that a part of your life had been wiped out of your memory?"
He nodded uncertainly.
"I also said you're turning me into a good man, Janeway."
"We have the means to restore those memories."
Chakotay went quiet. He closed his eyes and her alarm grew as he started oozing again. She had a damp, soft cloth ready and began dabbing at his mouth, his nostrils. He started shivering.
"Captain, I think I'd better sedate Chakotay again."
"No!" Chakotay yelled suddenly, grabbing her wrist tightly. "You will goddam tell me what the fuck is happening, Janeway, or sure as hell, I will kill you."
"If you'll listen, I'll explain. Please, you're hurting me."
He let go of his stranglehold instantly.
"I know that something is missing from my life, Janeway. You're a part of that life that is missing. A very important part. I am on a strange ship..."
"The Neruk, a Vulcan science vessel."
"Where is my crew? My ship?"
Kathryn sighed, stroked his hand, his cheek, trying to calm his fevered soul.
"Some of your crew had been killed. Dalby, Gerron, Ayala, Torres..."
"Torres?"
"She tried to kill me while you were in the sick bay of the Liberty."
"Who killed her?"
"Tom Paris."
Chakotay fell into silence again.
"Always thought Tom was going to gut that one. She hated you, Janeway."
"I know. Tom said I would never be safe from her."
"Who else?"
"No one else. We have given your crew the choice to leave the Liberty - "
"You took over my ship?"
"In a manner of speaking."
"And my crew left the Liberty? Dalby dead. Ayala. Gerron. Torres. They were my best men, Janeway."
"Chakotay, the crew that left, chose to leave. Seven of your crew are still on the Liberty. Your ship is safe in their hands. If we have to return to the Badlands, they will be waiting for us..."
"The ones who never participated. They never openly challenged me for fear of death, but they refused to indulge in our...sport."
Kathryn cringed when Chakotay reflected their atrocities as a sport. She had a fleeting view of ancient Rome and how they killed prisoners for the sheer fun of it.
"Suder and I had a talk. He is commanding the Liberty at the moment. They are good men and women Chakotay. A young woman, Mariah Henley, is among them."
"They will be waiting? For us?"
"Yes. You have to have the procedure first at the Vulcan Science Institute."
"Why there? And what is the nature of the procedure, Kathryn? Are you involved in this?"
So many questions...
"We are essentially in hiding from Starfleet and Federation officials and Vulcan has agreed to help set up a laboratory where the MRT can be successfully integrated into your brain."
"An MRT."
"Memory Retrieval Transponder."
"Where is this device Kathryn, that holds all my memories of you?"
Kathryn closed her eyes. This was crunch time. How could she tell him how dangerous it was? How could she tell him without him wanting to strangle her again out of sheer anger? She couldn't bear that he touch her in that way again. She couldn't bear to see the hardness, the hatred, the excessive aggression.
"Captain, perhaps it would be best - "
"Shut up, Doctor. I'm asking her. Now, Janeway, it's clear you won't tell me. I'm guessing this might be a risky procedure."
She nodded.
"Then I'm right."
"Yes. But not for you."
How could Chakotay turn from almost blind aggression directed at her in the one moment, and the next his eyes were filled with so much concern that it made her want to weep?
"Kathryn? Where the hell is this MRT?"
She couldn't speak. Her throat worked, her mouth seemed to form words but never a sound issued from her. There was a buzz, a dizzying sound in her head. It would prove fatal. She might die. Might.
"It was the only place where they could put the MRT without it being detected, Chakotay," she whispered finally. How they stole it from Owen Paris and his cohorts was another story...
His tanned skin took on a sallow appearance.
"It's on your person?"
"It's embedded in my skull, at the base. It has to be removed surgically. It cannot be transported since it has grown into and become part of my bone tissue. I've been carrying it for almost two years. It - it is situated very close to my brain..."
"God, Janeway! You would do that, for me?"
"I would sacrifice my life, Chakotay, if it meant I could give you back yours."
***********
END PART NINETEEN