CHAPTER TWO

At 0700 hours Kathryn Janeway entered the bridge. Tuvok rose from the command chair and nodded briefly before going off duty. On his way to the turbolift he stopped to give Magnus Rollins a few last minute instructions before leaving. Tom Paris had already come on duty. He glanced back only briefly, acknowledging her presence before continuing with his work. His back was straight, and most times he started out at the main view screen.

Kathryn sat back in her chair, her hands resting loosely on the armrests, and occasionally she looked down at the console between her chair and Chakotay's. His chair was empty. She bit back an involuntary cry. Her eyes had instinctively gone to his chair, and expecting to find him looking at her, smiling...smiling...

Always, there had been that indefinable, intangible bond between them. He only needed to smile and she would know that she need have no worries, he'd be sharing them with her. She heard his words: "pain shared is pain halved, Kathryn, darling. Don't ever think you need to bear it alone..."

Now Chakotay was in pain so severe that he remained unconscious and she felt her old powerless rage at being unable to held him. Early this morning she had gone to sick bay, but not before she had settled Tara first, waiting for Susan Nicoletti to arrive and take over caring for her baby. Tara had woken up at 0500 demanding to be bathed, fed and coddled by her mother and by the time Susan arrived she had been harried, but remained outwardly calmed. It had been so difficult to relinquish: caring for her own baby and allowing a rotation of crewmembers into her quarters to look after Tara. Bless her baby... Tara didn't mind. She had been so used since birth that there were always people around her and very eager hands to take her everywhere on the vessel.

"Susan, thanks so much," she had said before leaving for sick bay.

"No problem, Captain. Noah's promised to take her to the holodeck and put her in a baby swing..."

"Noah, huh..."

"Captain, we're friends," Susan said, blushing at Kathryn's intuitive guess.

"He's still afraid of me, you know..."

"I know! I told him so many times not to be, Captain. He - he admires you tremendously, Captain. I can tell you that..."

Tara had started to squirm in Kathryn's arms and she quickly handed the baby to Susan who started clucking like a hen when Tara was in her arms.

"Say bye to Mommy, sweetie. This afternoon she'll be back, okay?"

Tara smiled, showing Chakotay's dimples. Kathryn's heart contracted painfully; she kissed Tara on the forehead before she hastily exited her quarters, afraid that she'd want to remain and keep Tara tied to her all day. She entered the sick bay and showed no surprise when she noticed the EMH already busy with Chakotay. There had been no disturbances during the night, and she had what she could only term a restless sleep.

"Doctor, how is he?" she asked quickly as she approached the bed. It was a moot question. Chakotay looked the same as he had the day before and the day before that. His colour had not changed from the pallid to a more normal healthy sheen. His lips were dry again and she quickly dabbed a sponge to them.

"There's little change, Captain, although he seems to be breathing easier this morning. I'm administering a new painkiller. It should work, Captain. This time Seven of Nine has agreed to donate a few of her nanites. They'll be removed as soon as the Commander is out of danger - "

"Thank you, Doctor," Kathryn said as calmly as she could, her heart contracting again at how still Chakotay lay.

"And Captain, I'll be working today to repair the damage to his optical nerves. At least, he'll have his eyesight restored to a great degree..."

Kathryn gave a sigh of relief. Chakotay's injuries had been extensive and loss of vision was just one of the problems he would have had. Now at least... She touched his brow. He didn't seem to have any pain, and he looked almost peaceful. She sat down in the chair next to his bed and looked at the doctor with a question in her eyes. The doctor gave a sigh and moments later, the dome was let down. Kathryn's hand went instantly to hold Chakotay's. His hand felt warm. The past days he had run a very high fever as well, although that was contained.

"Chakotay..." her voice was hardly above a whisper and Kathryn imagined she felt his hand move under hers.

She sat still, never taking her gaze off him, and occasionally she touched his cheek.

"Chakotay," she whispered again.

"He will open his eyes, Captain. Just be patient..."

"Yes," she agreed. When she looked at the chronometer, she realised she had to leave immediately.

"Chakotay, today Susan is taking care of Tara... Our baby is in good hands, you hear me?"

There was no response as she rose from her chair, ready to leave, again feeling her eyes filling with tears as she took one last look at her husband.

***

Kathryn pulled her thoughts to the present, the bridge coming into focus again as she looked around her. There was as always, a hush, a quiet efficiency that every senior officer went about his or her task briskly. Chakotay may lie very ill in sick bay, but Voyager had to move on.

"Captain," Tom Paris said as he turned in his chair and looked at her, "Commander Chakotay has had a peaceful night."

'Thank you, Tom. I've just come from sick bay."

"He's still the same?"

"No change as yet, although Doctor is hopeful that today - "

"I understand, Captain," Tom said quickly as he saw the Captain frown. Tom cast a glance at where Harry was standing at his station and nodded. He turned his attention to the panels in front of him and then the quiet settled on the bridge again.

Everyone was aware of what was happening in sick bay, and Kathryn had a deep appreciation for their concern.

***

During the lunch break Kathryn hurried to her quarters. Susan was waiting for her and Tara was on the floor, sitting on her play rug with soft toys and colourful blocks and rings strewn around her.

"She's been very good, Captain," Susan said, smiling as she rose from the couch.

"Thanks, Susan," Kathryn replied. She bent and sat down on the rug. Tara was screeching happily when she saw her mother, but made no demand to be picked up. Kathryn smiled. Had Chakotay been here, Tara would have demanded a ride on his shoulders.

"I'll be in after lunch, Captain," Susan said as she prepared to leave. "Captain..."

"Yes, Susan?"

"I was wondering, Captain, if I couldn't take Tara to the holodeck myself. I'm off duty the whole day and it would be a pleasure to keep her company. She could play with baby Jamie and Miral - "

"I'd like that, Susan. I've got so much work to catch up on and Commander Chakotay..."

"I understand, Captain. You'll be all afternoon in sick bay - "

"Yes..."

When Susan left, Kathryn touched Tara's head. The baby looked up at her and smiled again. Kathryn closed her eyes briefly. It was Chakotay staring at her. She had wondered often since Tara's birth how a baby so small could resemble her father so closely. But it was feeding time for her baby and Tara was expressing that need as one stuffed toy aimed for the mouth and she started chewing, then offered the soggy toy to her mother.

"Tara's hungry. I know, sweetie. What shall we have today?" she asked. Kathryn didn't wait for Tara to answer in her baby gurgles as she walked to the replicator and ordered Tara's food, mindful of the doctor's strict regulations about her baby's formula. Tara had shown an early dislike for certain flavours of her cereal and banana won out every time.

The next few minutes the baby ate hungrily and by the time she was ready for her bottle, she was already drowsy. Kathryn smiled. Tara's needs were so simple. Eat and sleep. She wished she had that luxury. She rocked her baby gently until Tara was fast asleep, and Kathryn's eyes became soft as she held the baby to her for a few more minutes before she lay her in her crib.

Only then Kathryn ordered something for herself to eat. She settled on some sandwiches and juice, just enough that she could eat while she studied the backlog of reports she had brought down from her ready room. It was quiet in her quarters and by the time she finished two reports, an hour had gone by. She sighed. She would have liked to go down to sick bay and be with Chakotay, but she knew the Doctor would bundle her out there, saying: "There's no change in the Commander's condition, Captain."

When Susan returned, she was ready to leave. Tara was napping soundly. When the baby woke up later, Susan would be taking her to the holodeck. Kathryn left quickly for the bridge, and in the turbolift she hailed sick bay before she entered the bridge.

"I'll let you know as soon as there's the slightest change, Captain..." the doctor said on an exasperated sigh.

"Thank you. Janeway out."

***

Susan Nicoletti sat next to Noah Lessing on a bench. This afternoon B'Elanna had also joined them with baby Miral and together with Jamie, son of James Hamilton and Mariah Henley, they formed a little playgroup. The babies were in their swings and B'Elanna was deep in conversation with Mariah while Noah's eyes were constantly on the children.

Susan had never liked Noah to begin with, but she had warmed to him, after watching him always sitting alone at a table in the mess hall. The other four from the Equinox had soon integrated, but Noah, on whom the Captain had come down the hardest, had been taciturn, hardly looking up when anyone joined him at his table. He had preferred being alone, and until Commander Chakotay one day sat down next to him, Noah was forced to look the Maquis leader in the eyes. Commander Chakotay had gone into his Maquis mode and ordered:

"You gonna sit here and mope for thirty years?" Commander Chakotay's voice had been brusque, unsparing when he addressed Noah. Their little confrontation had been noticed immediately by the others in the mess hall and they were looking with eager anticipation at the prospect of Commander Chakotay going one round with Noah Lessing who was at least a head taller, but lacked the advantage of superior rank.

"No, Commander." Noah had replied without looking Chakotay in the eyes.

"Hey, look at me."

"Aye, Sir, Commander..." Clear, liquid light brown eyes made contact pitch black eyes that had a furious glint in them.

"That's better. Now, Noah, the Captain might look like she could kill you again, but you know, she is open for discussion and holds nothing against you."

"She will kill me, Commander. I don't belong here - "

"Now, Noah, unless you want me to deck you right now - and don't think I can't - you're gonna retract those words and rephrase them, you hear?"

"Aye, Commander, Sir!"

"Right now!"

"Aye, Commander, Sir!"

"You belong here on this vessel, Noah Lessing, and Captain Janeway may be ruthless, but she is fair. You agree?"

There had been no response from Noah and Susan, who had been told this only three weeks ago by Noah himself, thought that Noah was still deeply regretting what they had been forced to do under Captain Ransom's command. He still felt badly about it. He felt badly the way he challenged Captain Janeway, how disrespectful he was and all. But as he looked at Commander Chakotay, Noah had seen only kindness there, although he swore to her, the Commander's hand was balled into a fist as if he were ready to bash Noah's brains out.

"You are a member of this crew, get that?"

"I belong here, Commander. I know my fear is unreasonable, but Captain Janeway is fair..."

"And you will integrate with the other crewmembers."

"Aye, Sir. Anything you say, Sir."

"That's better. Now, you gonna sit here all day or shall I ask the Captain to order you speak to the other crewmembers?"

Noah had looked around him and felt the old pain of marginalisation, a situation he knew he brought upon himself. The others were staring at him and Chakotay as if they expected the Commander to let fly with a fist any time.

After that day Noah had made a conscious attempt to mix and had even held baby Tara when she had been only a month old. Tara liked the tall crewman, and Noah was putty in the baby's hands. Susan smiled to herself. She had become putty... She liked Noah. He was the first person in six years she had really liked. Always reserved herself, she had never seemed to warm to anyone romantically, even though Tom Paris had tried so hard in the beginning. It was now only Noah who knew of her broken affair just before she had joined Voyager. Damien had promised her the moon. She found him with his moon in her home, in her bedroom... She sighed. After that, she kept herself from falling again, until Noah....

"If there is anything I could do, Susan," Noah's words penetrated her thoughts, "I wish to help the Commander and the Captain. He is such a strong man, I never expected him to lie there in sick bay, looking so helpless."

"I know, Noah. But Noah, you know you're helping already by helping to take care of little Tara. She likes you more than any of the other male crew on board, did you know?"

Noah smiled at her, looking fiercely proud for a moment, and the perpetual frown on his forehead relieved by the way his face relaxed. Susan's heart warmed. Her cold hands and cold heart had found at last a safe haven in this tall, quiet man whose immense height and strength belied the gentle streak in him. In that he respect he was so much like Commander Chakotay.

"I would - "

His words died in his throat as Tara began crying. Everyone looked to the swings where Tara's arms and legs were flailing. Noah was instantly there, with the others trailing after him. He lifted the crying baby out of the swing and tried to calm her, but Tara was crying fractiously, a plaintive wail that pierced the quiet around them.

"What can be the matter, Noah?" Susan asked, her concern etched deeply on her attractive face. B'Elanna approached and tried to take Tara from Noah, but the baby appeared inconsolable, with Noah slightly baffled as to her behaviour. He had already ascertained that she was fine physically. The swing had only swayed gently. The baby didn't knock herself anywhere.

"I don't know, Susan," he replied as he crooned to Tara, rocking her until she quietened only a little. She was sobbing now, burying her face against the burly man's chest. "I don't think she's wet. You've just changed her diaper, Susan. She's not even hungry. Shall we alert the Captain, do you think?" he asked B'Elanna, who had grabbed up Miral while Susan took care of Jamie. The two babies had started crying in sympathy with Tara and the women battled for a few moments to get them quiet. Then Susan's commbadge beeped.

"Janeway to Nicoletti - " the captain's voice sounded over the commbadge.

"Yes, Captain?"

"I'm on my way to sick bay. Could you take care of Tara for me? I'll be grateful if you could arrange it."

"Certainly, Captain," Susan replied promptly.

"Thanks. Janeway out..."

"The Captain sounded out of breath, like she's hurrying. I wonder if it's Commander Chakotay. He - "

"He has probably regained consciousness," B'Elanna surmised. She graced Noah and Susan with a huge smile before she continued, "It's about time he came to and took care of his girls..."

"Maybe that's why Tara was crying." Noah patted the baby's back, cooing again to her.

"Indeed, she sensed that her father has woken up!"

"Oh, sweet Tara," Noah whispered close to the baby's ear, "you don't know how you are saving your daddy's life - "

The baby lifted her face away from Noah's chest and looked with tear streaked eyes at the big man. She broke into a smile and bowled Noah over.

"Come, Noah, let's take her to the Captain's quarters. She has entrusted me with her codes in case of emergency. I'm certain the Captain herself will want to take Tara to see her Daddy..."

Tara squeaked with delight and Noah pressed her to him again. Susan was holding young Jamie, while B'Elanna held Miral.

"Hey, Tara, you gonna see your Daddy, you hear?" Noah instructed the baby.

"I hope the Commander gets well soon," Susan said to B'Elanna as they left the holodeck.

"We're all breathe easier when he does. It's been touch and go and the Captain is exhausted, Susan."

"I know! Just seeing Captain Janeway again will help him speed up his recovery."

***

END CHAPTER TWO.

CHAPTER THREE

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