Rating: PG-13

Disclaimer: Paramount owns Janeway and Chaktay. Such a pity, isn't it?

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This vignette is a sequel to "Wanted: a miracle", which won Sylvia's Christmas contest for new stories last year.

Summary: On the morning of Christmas, a year after she reunited with Chakotay, Kathryn reflects on her good fortune.

INDIANA MORNING

She awoke slowly, like emerging from a beautiful dream where clouds transformed themselves into the objects of her imaginings. She drifted noiselessly on one until it stopped near the edge of reality and gently touched down for her to walk calmly from one realm to the next.

Light had filtered the room, its source the wide window where the drape's design created new images for pondering. Her eyes had opened, but she remained still, fixing her gaze on the window. Though she couldn't see beyond the window and the light it offered, she knew that the landscape once again this year lay bathed in silent snow. She had seen it last night, and the moon that had once echoed her loneliness, looked down on her in benevolent blessing of her happiness.

Once it had been a cold moon, in the distance behind it the even colder stars that hung in aloof support of the deep sadness that had been part of her for five years. Now she knew that the snow outside must look as beautiful as last night. She could imagine the almost pristine smoothness that waited for life in Indiana to return and stake footprints in paths to the nearest tree. Or, further down the slope the small brook that they had all feared might have frozen over but didn't, she'd hear if she trained her ears, the rush of water over stones. She could picture the overhanging branches, first heavy with snow, now slowly releasing little drops of water that would plunge to earth.

Kathryn closed her eyes a moment and absorbed the peace around her. A year ago she had been deeply unhappy, had prayed fervently that she be blessed with a miracle. The miracle had happened. Now the moon, the stars, the nights that had once been lonely nights looked on her and welcomed her, made her part of a family again. Once she had despaired of facing the day...

She sighed contentedly and turned her head to the side.

He lay sleeping deeply, his arm thrown over the cover in complete abandon. There were no lines of strain on his face that she had seen a year ago on Christmas Eve. Then he had been tense, awaiting her reply. Then he had suffered great uncertainty. How could she not accept him back in her life? He had come to her, and brought with him the one gift she had never thought she'd get. All she had longed for then, had been just peace, that the heavens smile on her and let her be happy again for a moment. All that she desired was that heaven lift her burden and make her light again.

With him came his daughter, the gift she had given him and Seven of Nine. A daughter who resembled not Seven, but Kathryn Janeway. A beautiful little girl she had seen for the first time when Chakotay brought her to Indiana that fateful Christmas Eve. Little Katie had been shy at first, but had warmed to her, had slept with her in her bed that night. Never had she been so happy with the warm body of her daughter snuggled close to her, and her own hand held in Chakotay's. She must have fallen asleep with her hand still in his, she thought. But her happiness had been complete then. Chakotay wanted to remain. He had feared that she wouldn't accept him; he had brought his little girl to her and would have left again. He wanted Katie to be with the woman who was her real mother.

"Only if Daddy will come along too," she had said softly when Katie asked her if she'd be her Mommy. Chakotay's eyes had lit up, and her own heart had opened wide to receive both of them. Both had been overjoyed and she had received her own new happiness with great humility.

Now she looked at her sleeping husband, her heart bursting with joy. She caressed his tattoo gently, smiling when he stirred and moaned her name in his sleep. But he didn't wake. He was exhausted. He had only returned from deep space late last night. The tree had already been decorated; Katie and Missy had helped, the dog barking excitedly at the shiny baubles and the string of popcorn and little lights that adorned the tree.

"Mommy, when will Daddy come?"

She had been a little concerned that Chakotay might not make it, and she hadn't wanted to disappoint Katie by saying she didn't know if he'd be home in time. The child was bright, very perceptive and Kathryn had learned quickly in the past year that Katie appreciated logical explanations. In that she had resembled Seven of Nine after all, but there had been no resentment in her. She might never have seen the child she helped create with Chakotay had Seven not died, so she accepted her gift as a merciful blessing.

"He promised that if he couldn't make it in time, that you could put the angel up, honey," she told Katie. Katie had been named for her and to avoid confusion, she had been called that when Chakotay brought her home. On Ketarcha Seven of Nine called her 'Kathryn'.

Katie hadn't looked seriously disturbed by her reply.

"Uncle Tom is home already, Mommy."

"I know, honey. But Uncle Tom was on a different mission - "

"And Miral said she'd never talk to him again if he didn't come home for Christmas."

Kathryn had smiled at her daughter, her heart surging with fierce pride. She knew of Miral's promise. B'Elanna had told her a few days ago, and the girls, in the same school had become firm friends.

"So I guess Uncle Tom had better get home then."

"And Daddy must come home. He's got to put the angel on the tree. It's his job."

"Sure thing. You spoke with him last night, Katie. He said he'd make it, didn't he?"

"But it's late. It's almost my birthday, and tomorrow when Grandma and Grandpa and Aunt Phoebe come, we're going to open my presents."

For the first time Katie was just a little girl; the logic had fled and she missed her Daddy. It wasn't so much that she missed him, but that she wanted him home for Christmas and her birthday. Kathryn had given a sigh as she scooped Katie into her arms. She stroked Katie's long hair, then kissed her forehead.

"Don't worry, honey. Daddy's on his way here."

She had herself prayed that Chakotay arrive in time and before the clock struck twelve. She and Katie were alone in the house, if they didn't count Missy. Her mother and Admiral Ponsonby whom Katie now called Grandma and Grandpa, would only be home today.

"Okay, Mommy..." Katie responded, a little tearful.

Katie had almost fallen asleep by the hearth when they heard Missy barking excitedly at the front door. Trust Missy to bark at anyone nearing the house. Katie had woken up suddenly at the sound of Missy's barking and was at the front door before Kathryn moved in that direction. Her heart thumped wildly, but she had thanked the spirits that it was Chakotay and that he was safe from his mission. She had opened the door and seconds later she and Katie were standing on the porch while Missy bounded through the snow in the direction of the landing pad. In the distance she could see the shadowy figure of Chakotay approach.

"Stay here, Katie. It's cold..." she warned her daughter who wanted to rush off after Missy.

"But it's a nice cold, Mommy," came Katie's reply.

She held Katie's hand tightly, but then child had broken loose and in her pink robe identical to Kathryn's own robe, Katie ran down the porch steps to meet her father.

"Daddy!"

"Chakotay..." came her own happy whisper as she saw Missy jump up at him and Katie being scooped high in Chakotay's arms.

When they reached her, Chakotay put Katie down and drew her into his arms. Missy and Katie were jumping up and down, but for the moment daughter and dog were forgotten as she lost herself in her husband's embrace.

"Missed me?" he asked as he walked with her quickly into the house and still holding her, waited for daughter and dog to come in before he closed the door and gave a relieved sigh.

"Of course we missed you. Katie was on the point of swearing never to talk to you again if you didn't make it home tonight..."

Then Katie chimed in. "Yes, Daddy, but I'm glad Daddy got here in time. It's almost my birthday," Katie spoke in a breathless voice, her eyes shining with happiness.

"And naturally, we wanted you to do the honours..."

Chakotay had released her for a moment, lifted Katie into his arms, while drawing her into his embrace again.

"It's good to be home. I missed you. Give me ten minutes, will you?"

"Yes, Daddy! But hurry!"

The ten minutes had flown by. By the time Chakotay was back in the lounge, he was clean-shaven and dressed in his dark burgundy robe. Katie had bent down to retrieve the angel from the box of trimmings. Chakotay brought the angel the previous year and on the morning of Christmas had replaced the old, battered angel with the new one. He took the angel from Katie as Kathryn lifted her daughter up. They watched in silence as Chakotay made a big production of putting the angel on the top of their Christmas tree.

"There, all done."

Right at that moment, the clocked chimed.

"It's my birthday..." Katie breathed in wonder.

"Yes, honey..." Kathryn said as she looked at the mantelpiece. Her photograph was still there, a picture of her at the age of four. She remembered how Katie had thought that it was a picture of herself. Now, next to her photograph stood a picture of Katie at the same age. Chakotay had always said if it weren't for the frames, it could be the same child. Her mother and stepfather had been equally amazed at the likeness.

The next fifteen minutes were spent wishing Katie on her birthday, wishing one another a merry Christmas and trying to keep Katie from opening her presents. Katie had gone to bed happy, knowing that in the morning she could open her presents. Last year after she had informed her mother and Admiral Ponsonby that Chakotay and his daughter were with her, they had arrived in Indiana with gifts for Katie, without questioning her. It had been spontaneous and her mother had quickly sensed Kathryn's joy, the new lightheartedness.

"Something's happened, Kathryn, and it's not just the child, is it?" Gretchen Janeway had challenged her through their vid-com greeting. "It's more than that..."

"Katie is my daughter, Mom..."

Gretchen had lifted an eyebrow in an elegant frown, then declared, "I shall hear the full story when we get home, Kathryn."

It was only later, when Gretchen and Adam Ponsonby had arrived, that she and Chakotay explained the circumstances surrounding Katie's birth. Gretchen had looked at Chakotay with grateful eyes, and Katie, bless her heart, had taken to her new grandparents with the innocence of the very young. She had either sat with Gretchen or Kathryn that day, or played with Missy who looked upon her new charge with fierce loyalty. Everything was still new for her and later she had been tearful, the overwhelming affection that rushed at her too much for her. Chakotay had dealt with the crying child and stayed with her until she fell asleep again in the late afternoon.

Now, a year later their daughter had adjusted to life as a Janeway who had family and friends. Strange, Kathryn thought, how in the past year when she had yearned for her daughter to express her feelings towards her, had never come. Kathryn acceded Seven's influence over the child, remembered how in the beginning on Voyager Seven had declared that expressing feelings such as love, or anger, or compassion were irrelevant. Katie had been afraid most of the time, Kathryn thought with pain. Afraid Kathryn would admonish her harshly...

Kathryn was human like the next person, and she had thrived and basked in Chakotay's love for her. Little Katie had been different and diffident about expressing those feelings. She only really knew her own actions, and through that Kathryn had been satisfied. It was enough. They were not going to rush their little girl. Yet, Kathryn yearned...

Last night, Katie had broken her final barrier and tears had sprung into Kathryn's eyes. She and Chakotay had tucked Katie in. Katie had been happy with a short story Chakotay had read for her. But she lay on her back, looking at her mother for so long that Kathryn experienced mild trepidation that their daughter was ailing or something.

"Is something the matter, honey?" Kathryn asked, her voice laced with concern.

Katie's hand was held in hers trustingly. Katie pulled her hand out of Kathryn's, and Kathryn cast Chakotay a quick glance. Chakotay frowned, not knowing what was happening. Then Katie sat up and threw herself in Kathryn's arms, clinging desperately to her.

"Shhh, it's okay...it's okay..."

"I love you, Mommy..."

Kathryn had felt how her tears rolled down her cheek and dropped warmly onto her hand. It was the very first time Katie had uttered those words. Although Kathryn knew Katie loved her, it was something, a verbal attestation even for a small child, that lay at the back of her mind. She had very much wanted to hear those words. It was the final barrier Katie crossed, a giant leap towards the faith she had in the woman whom she had met for the first time only a year ago.

"I love you too, poppet. I love you very, very much..." she said, her throat thick with emotion.

Then Katie had given a long sigh, lay back on the pillow and closed her eyes. She had fallen asleep with a smile on her face.

"Happy?" Chakotay asked later when they sat on the sofa by the fireplace.

"Supremely."

"Let's go to bed, my love..."

*

It was a good morning that would precede a blessed day, Kathryn thought. In a few minutes she knew, Katie Janeway would barge into their bedroom, jump on the bed and rudely awaken her sleeping father. Then she'd demand her parents get up quickly, because they had to go to the lounge and open their presents. She'd demand that she be lifted up again to look at pictures of herself and her mother on the mantelpiece.

She knew Katie would wait with bated breath for her grandparents to arrive. Their gifts for Katie were already under the tree. She'd be the darling of the proceedings for the day. But Kathryn knew that Katie wouldn't want to wander too far from her parents' orbit, that she'd climb on her mother or father's lap and just snuggle quietly for a few moments before she'd be off again.

Kathryn looked again at her sleeping husband and wondered if she shouldn't wake him before Katie bounded into the room.

It was a thought that was aborted the moment she heard the door open. Katie peeped round the door, with a panting Missy next to her. Katie ran towards them. So much for letting Chakotay wake up peacefully as child and dog scrambled onto the bed.

Chakotay, Kathryn knew, didn't mind the interruption at all.

"Mommy! Daddy! It's Christmas!!"

***

END