CHAPTER SEVEN

 

He was lying on something soft and covered by warmth. Keeping his eyes closed, he tried to think where he was without attempting to lift too heavy lids or face the light that might blind him again. His body felt depleted of all energy, yet he sensed wakefulness, a coming to the surface from somewhere dark and deep and fearsome. He had dwelt there, lived a thousand years, lived a thousand lives. He had encompassed the universe, but it was time to let go of the darkness.

 

Did something touch him? Like a soft feather that gently drifted on his hand and reposed there briefly before lifting again? It journeyed through his body, his tired body, touching the tiredness and willing it to life again.

 

He opened his eyes slowly, feeling pleasantly lethargic. A vision came into view, a vision in uniform, in the red of command with four familiar pips along her collar.

 

"Kathryn..."

 

"Welcome home, Chakotay," she breathed softly. Kathryn was real and smiling at him. He stood up, testing the ground, finding his equilibrium.

 

Kathryn stood up too and floated into his waiting arms. Close, he held her, so close to him. Her face was buried in his chest and he smelled her hair, caressing the silken strands. She was real, his heart sang. Real, for how could hair smell so like golden apples and skin feel like soft clouds? The  warmth of her breath soaked into his skin as she raised her face to him. Her lips were parted, apprehension and joy in her eyes and the familiar Kathryn Janeway fearlessness that supplanted the apprehension. A blinding flash. He was back in Ireland, looking into the eyes of a young woman, a woman who looked scared, who lost her fear as soon as she laid eyes on him. Another flash... Kathleen touching his tattoo as he removed his cap. Kathleen with bruises on her neck, on her lips. Kathleen who hooked her arm through his with so much trust. Kathleen whose hand rested like a dove of peace on the palm of Edward Janeway.

 

"You are crying..." she whispered as her fingers traced the tears on his cheeks. He hadn't known that his tears flowed, unable to cleanse him from the suffering he'd seen the poverty, the destitution, the degradation. Hands in Kathryn's hair, remembering, reclaiming the present, wonderful, painful present. Once an illusion, now every smell, every strand of silk so real...so real...

 

Touch me now, my beloved,

for I am here, I am now, I am...

Small, precious, full of strength...

amazing is your courage,

Forge then our destiny forever...

 

Burn your lips on hers

and feel the salt of your tears,

Remember her tears of long ago

which only yesterday

you touched

and in your heart you heard her cries

 

through the ages...

 

Chakotay, my love... why do you weep so...?

This is precious to you,

her voice from distant past

echoed into his future..

 

For all time...

 

"I thought I would lose you forever, now that I'd found you," he murmured into her hair.

 

"And I was afraid, like I have never been."

 

"The last thing I remember was a pain in my back and Rollins shouting."

 

"They saved your life.You were kept in stasis until they could beam you to Voyager..."

 

He held her away so that he could feast his eyes on her face, her smile that hovered like raindrops about to lose their and plunge, plunge to earth. His thumb grazed her lips. He closed his eyes again, and saw another face, another mouth ravaged by a madman...

 

"I would have left no stone unturned for you, Kathryn."

 

He sat down on the couch and pulled her on his lap, where he held her close to him. She touched his face, tracing the marking on his brow.

 

"Tell me about Kathleen Eileen O'Clair..."

 

He realised something. He had seen the woman who would perpetuate Kathryn's line. Kathryn had never seen her... It was a gracious moment, one in which he felt humbled by another whose inner strength waited to be tapped.

 

"She was like you," he said. "She even looked like you. It was a shock, the first time I saw her. You cannot know how like you she is..."

 

"Maybe I do know. Her blood flows through me. The tie that binds us is also a golden thread of knowledge past, present and future..."

 

"Why do I tell you then?" he asked, smiling.

 

"Because, Chakotay, you have seen her."

 

"She was incredibly brave, Kathryn," he started, feeling a lump forming in his throat again. "So brave. She was to have been married yesterday..."

 

"Like us," Kathryn breathed.

 

"God forbid that she marry the wrong man. When I - I found her..." He paused, and closed his eyes a long time. There was again a prick of tears and he clenched his jaw, hardly realising that his fingers dug into Kathryn's arm. "A man - her fiancé - was about to - to violate her, and by the looks - " He broke off again.

 

It was quiet in the holodeck. Was it his breathing he heard? Or did Kathleen's cry for help echo to the present again? Kathryn pressed closer to him.

 

"The wounds must cleanse, my love..."

 

"I know..."

 

"Bleed, Chakotay, it will be your reprieve..."

 

"By the look of her he must have hurt her the previous day, this Justin Riley. Her father too, Kathryn. They didn't spare her. In the room at the inn where she and Thomas Kiernan stayed, I found an undergarment belonging to Kathleen. The blood streaks suggested she had been whipped, and that there were open wounds on her back..."

 

Kathryn shuddered violently and buried her face against him.

 

"I found them in an alley. There were onlookers... Riley was battering her and she looked so afraid... She cried for help, you know. No one helped..."

 

"What did you do to Justin Riley?"

 

"I beat him to a pulp and left him in the alley where the onlookers probably robbed him of his clothes and money... I wanted to kill him, very badly."

 

"But you couldn't."

 

"No."

 

"Kathleen?"

 

"She wondered about me, I think. Glad too, that I could save her from that despicable Justin. We couldn't reveal ourselves; Magnus and Marla had to call me Charles, or Charlie."

 

He felt how Kathryn sucked in her breath.

 

"Charles..."

 

"It fell like golden drops from her, just like when you say my name..."

 

"I told you the Janeway women were remarkable."

 

"Kathleen was definitely ahead of her time, Kathryn. A contrary, just like you once told me. She didn't fit in with her family, or their perception about the place of women in society. It was a hard life. A very hard life. She had to leave, Kathryn, to find herself. Know what Thomas Kiernan said of her? He said Kathleen O'Clair was an eagle that deserved to spread its wings, to climb the skies and look down on the world to see its rights, its wrongs, its justice and injustice, and tell the world about it. And then...the journey across the Irish sea... Conditions were harsh for the emigrants. We were on a ship where they cared more about the cattle they were ferrying than the people who had to remain on the deck. Was it because they thought emigrants were selling their country out and therefore cared so little about them? Is it so bad to look for a better life elsewhere? It rained that day; there was a storm at sea. I wanted to take off my jacket and hang it round one of the children... Only, I found I had already done it and that one jacket was never going to be enough. Magnus and Thomas Kiernan had done the same. A child...a baby... cried all the time. I think it was sick. I felt helpless and angry. Kathleen and Marla were in a cabin. You should speak to Marla, Kathryn... She will need your comfort. Kathleen's injuries distressed her. When we had to disembark, I found the two of them curled up in sleep on the narrow bunk, but Marla had been crying...

 

"We take so much for granted here. We're  shipwrecked in this quadrant; we face many dangers, we've often been so low on supplies when we prayed we'd come to a planet that would be willing to trade. Still, life here on this ship... we have luxury unimagined by the Kathleens who had seen so much social inequality. Poverty is something terrible...something terrible... You see children, their eyes sunken and empty, their cheeks hollow and pale from hunger and you see...you see how lost they are. You see some of them with no hope, then you see others who hope for a better life, who have vision.

 

"And Kathryn...we knew some of them would never make it to the New World. They're seduced away from the ships by smart crooks who sell unsuspecting young girls into prostitution, who prey on the helpless, the poor fleecing the poor. I saw a girl being lured away... There was nothing I could do... What was this world we entered and had to leave behind? Kathleen O'Clair was lucky. Thomas Kiernan was lucky...The world was waiting for him to discover it, just not in Ireland..."

 

Kathryn's hand touched his cheek. He felt how wet it was, from tears that burned and cleansed.

 

"It was 1899,  and we know from history that poverty, sickness, depravation of the soul, physical abuse of women, war time atrocities, torture, maiming, the wilful crushing of the human spirit didn't end there... It continued for centuries; in one century alone it produced tyrannical rulers, and dictators too evil to contemplate.  Kathleen O'Clair made it to the New World... From the little I've learned of her, I don't think she stopped fighting, stopped being a champion for the downtrodden, stopped learning..."

 

"No, Chakotay. She never did. She was a journalist and writer and fought many social issues."

 

"And Kathryn, we knew that the moment she touched the hand of Captain Edward Janeway right there on the deck where he welcomed all the new passengers personally...that moment, you became alive again. Then, I was in a hurry to get home to you and tell you..."

 

He fell quiet at last...lost in thought about being back in Kathryn's arms, feeling how real she was, that her smile, her concern, her tears, her smooth cheeks were not illusions. Kathryn stirred in his arms. He pressed his lips against her hair. She slid off his lap and stood facing him, holding her hand to him.

 

"Come, let's go. We will celebrate not only our union, but the courage of Kathleen O'Clair-Janeway. There is something I need to tell you about Kathleen O'Clair. Something that would have been missing because I ceased to exist for a few hours...."

 

"What is it?"

 

"A book."

 

"I need to change into uniform first..." he said, smiling a little sheepishly as he looked at his hospital gown and slippers.

 

*********************************

 

Kathryn paced her lounge, waiting for Chakotay.  A smile played around her mouth. It was still afternoon, and there was time to read the reports from the doctor, as well as speak with Magnus Rollins and Marla Gilmore. On their way here, Chakotay had mentioned how Kathleen had been the first to notice the looks Marla gave Magnus. It wasn't that she herself was unaware of the little undercurrents of romance on her ship. With his history of personal tragedy, Magnus didn't look like he wanted to engage in the energy of being in a romantic relationship again, or make himself vulnerable to another being again. Who knew? This mission might just have turned the tide a little in Marla's favour.

 

Chakotay took longer than she had anticipated. But he wanted to shave and wash the salt from his body. It had been great to be on Earth again and feel the real rays of Earth's sun, her rain, her clouds, see her people, he told her, but all the time he had been fraught with the worry that they might not make it back in time. He had only felt the two hard knocks against his back, turned and heard Marla call a certain name. After that the darkness swallowed him. She thought how he looked at her when he woke from his surgery, as if she were something unearthly. If she thought about it, for a time she was something unearthly.

 

From Magnus she would get a full report on Michael Sullivan, the man who had tried to abduct Kathleen and stabbed Chakotay, critically wounding him. Strange, she had chosen that name for her holographic companion in the New Haven programme. None of them were Chakotay... She had been foolish then. Lonely and foolish. She would forever be grateful that Chakotay waited. He had greater faith in his own constancy than she had. For that alone, she would love him forever.

 

Tonight they would marry. They could not delay it a single minute longer. She wanted to lie in his arms for the first time, join her body with his, become one...

 

She stopped pacing the second her door chimed. When he came in, he looked so familiar, so beloved, that her eyes stung with tears. She gripped the book tighter as he stepped up to her, pulled her in his arms and kissed her lingeringly. Waves of pleasure coursed through her body, making her press closer to him. She was breathless when the kiss ended.

 

"You wanted to show me something, Kathryn..."  His voice was so dear. The panic of yesterday overwhelmed her briefly. She stood on tiptoe and kissed him again just to feel how real he was. 

 

She led him to her couch and they sat down. Then she placed the book in his hand.

 

"I'll take you home again, Kathleen by Kathleen O'Clair-Janeway..." he read, then looked at her in surprise.

 

"When I ceased to exist, this book and all other works by Kathleen O'Clair did too. I replicated this copy just after we returned from New Earth - "

 

"New Earth..."

 

She saw the flash of pain cross his features. He remembered, like she was remembering. Even there, she turned him away...

 

"I'm sorry," she murmured, "that I hurt you..."

 

"Hey, it is always worth waiting for a Janeway woman. When Edward Janeway held Kathleen's hand in his, it seemed that he had been waiting for her all his life. Besides, I've always known this day would come."

 

"That makes me feel better."

 

"Tell me about the book, then."

 

"When we walked from the holodeck you told me when you said goodbye to Kathleen, that she looked so sad to leave Ireland. As if she didn't want to go but understood that her destiny had a different path for her..."

 

"Yes. I thought about that haunting melody then. I thought about how we wanted to go home..."

 

"This book is her memoir, of how she met three incredible friends, of the brave woman who was her mother, of the man who became her husband, of her children, and..."

 

"And?"

 

"How much she missed the country of her birth. She never stopped yearning to see the shores of Ireland again."

 

"Did she go back?"

 

"Edward Janeway himself took her to visit Ireland ten years later. It was a surprise gift, the trip to Ireland, and she indicates here how she loved him a hundred times more than ever before. This book speaks of that love, how she was always certain that one day, she would marry the man who stole her heart. Her sisters were not so lucky..."

 

"Her mother?"

 

Kathryn smiled. "I think you'll have to read it yourself, Chakotay, if you wish to learn more of Kathleen O'Clair."

 

"She was a truly remarkable Janeway woman, like someone I know."

 

"It's how I know...I feel it here..." she said with conviction as she placed her hand against her bosom, "that we'll be home soon..."

 

"For that, you deserve a kiss."

 

"And tonight, we're to dress in the same clothes as this wedding picture. It's a little faded, but here you can see how they were made for each other," she said as she quickly paged to the middle where there were photographs.

 

"I have to wear a tail suit and white cravat?"

 

"Oh, yes. We're celebrating our history, the present and the future."

 

*********************************

 

Chakotay turned, distressed and surprised. Blood oozed from his mouth and Magnus knew that he was bleeding internally. The ship's horn blew for the third time and; slowly it moved away from the dock as the tug boat started heaving it towards the open ocean.

 

To his astonishment Michael had disappeared quickly. Come to think of it, how had he appeared in Liverpool so soon after them? It was too fast. Something was not right about that man.

 

"Come, Marla, let's get Commander Chakotay away from here." People milled about them, but they took little notice of the onlookers as they dragged the bleeding Chakotay to a secluded spot where Magnus instantly hit his commbadge.

 

"Rollins to Braxton. We have an emergency. Beam Commander Chakotay to the ship first."

 

By the time he and Marla were back on the ship - Marla was still in shock - Michael Sullivan was already unconscious on the floor. He couldn't understand why Braxton had beamed Michael to his ship.

 

"Help me get Commander Chakotay in the stasis chamber."

 

Marla had been outraged, but Braxton explained how it would save Chakotay's life if the injury was arrested. That had calmed her down somewhat. Then Braxton asked him to help get Michael into a stasis chamber.

 

"Why him?"

 

"I have to take him with us. Don't worry, I'll see that he gets back."

 

He had been mistrustful of Braxton's motives and could only conclude that there was more to Michael Sullivan than met the eye.

 

Was Michael's appearance in Dublin accidental or designed? They knew that he had been sent by Justin Riley to apprehend Katie O'Clair and Tommy Kiernan. Michael had tipped poor Tommy upside down easily and would have done more damage if they hadn't cornered the man and bundled him away to an alley where he beat the snot out of him. How he got to be on the cattleship they didn't know. Marla didn't think that he was on their ship, but on another vessel that left at the same time. They had not been disturbed at any time in their cabin.

 

"He must have been on another vessel, else how could he have gotten to Liverpool so fast?"

 

It was an issue that plagued him; it unsettled them that Michael Sullivan had tried to the very last to cause temporal damage. That could be the reason why Braxton took him with him to the 29th century.

 

"And that, Captain, is my report. I have it here for you," Magnus said soberly as he handed the captain the PADD. Commander Chakotay stood next to her.

 

"Has it occurred to you that Sullivan could be from the 29th century?"

 

"I have thought about it, Captain. Captain Braxton did allude to that. He told me to put two and two together myself."

 

"Except," Chakotay added, "that we still don't know Sullivan's motives. He may have had some bone to pick with someone in his time. Anything."

 

"I thought that too. We will probably continue to speculate and eventually, Michael Sullivan will become part of the legend."

 

"Well, you've done a very good job. Thank you, Lieutenant Rollins."

 

"You're welcome, Captain."

 

"You have your tail suit?"

 

"Commander? Me? Why should I have one?"

 

"You're to bring the bride to me. It's the Captain's request."

 

Magnus looked at the captain, his heart bursting with pride. "It would be an honour, Captain. A real honour..."

 

*************************************

 

There were tears in Marla's expressive eyes. Kathryn could only imagine the pain Kathleen had endured. She didn't write much about the days before she left Ireland, except that her father had planned the wedding for the day of her journey to the New World, and that her mother had supported her decision. Kathryn had always wondered about that, and now, with Marla's revelation, knew that Eileen O'Clair in reality, had saved her daughter's life that day. More than anyone, she was most aware of how unequal in marriages her daughters were, and Kathleen, the contrary, had been courageous enough to brave her father's displeasure, a forced marriage, and intellectual poverty.

 

"She was so brave, Captain. Her back  was criss-crossed with weals from the way her father beat her. And that - that Riley man. He - he..." Marla paused. Kathryn knew what she wanted to say and touched her hand reassuringly.

 

"You know, Marla, there will always be men who will abuse their partners..."

 

"That's what my grandmother used to say… We didn't see Justin Riley, but Commander Chakotay almost killed him, according to Kathleen."

 

"You were wonderful friends for her. I'm sure she never forgot you."

 

"We couldn't reveal ourselves, Captain, but she was very glad of our help. She..." Marla bit her lip, looking a little uncertain.

 

"What is it?"

 

"She reminded me of you. Not only in her looks. I'm sure Commander Chakotay has already told you about that. But she ordered poor Thomas Kiernan to walk while I had to sit next to her in the carriage. Then she invited us to travel along with her. Kathleen said we made an excellent party travelling together. I think she was afraid that she'd be accosted again and didn't want to say so. She had been very scared of Justin Riley. The men were good. The two of us stayed in the cabin Thomas had booked, and they remained on deck. We had to tell her we were visiting from London, but I think she knew Commander Chakotay is Indian. She touched his tattoo. He tried to hide it, not to look too conspicuous, but you know the Commander..."

 

"He'll be conspicuous wherever he goes. Doesn't matter if he tries to hide the tattoo."

 

"I'm glad he was the one who dealt with Justin. I don't think Justin stood a chance. Kathleen...she was deeply affected by Commander Chakotay, I think, Captain. I mean...not in that way. The man of her dreams was already standing on the deck waiting for her. But it was as if she knew that the Commander would one day shape her future, something like that. It was in her eyes..."

 

"I can tell you Commander Chakotay wanted to kill Justin, Marla. He was very angry at the way Kathleen had been treated..."

 

"Thomas Kiernan...know what he said, Captain? He told me that the way her father and fiancé  manhandled a defenceless girl, he didn't feel very proud of being a man himself..."

 

"They were excellent friends, Marla. They remained friends throughout their lives."

 

"Captain?"

 

Kathryn was glad to see the relief in Marla's eyes, her joy that everything had ended well for Kathleen after all.

 

"I can tell you that Thomas Kiernan became one of the great American pilots of his day, and that he was godfather to Kathleen and Edward's firstborn child, a boy they named - "

 

"Charles..." Marla whispered, smiling through her tears. "She called Commander Chakotay Charles."

 

Kathryn smiled, feeling the warmth spread through her.

 

"You have done well, Marla. I'm very proud of the away team. Now, I know it's rather late, and Commander Chakotay and I never really planned on anything fancy for our wedding. I have a proposal...

 

*******************************

 

He marvelled at Kathryn. It was almost the end of Alpha shift. Tuvok and Tom and Harry were on the bridge so the two of them could rest after their ordeal. But she wanted him to accompany him to the ship's nursery before the evening's events. They greeted the passing crew who stopped, gasped, then went on their way again. Tuvok had made a ship-wide announcement that Kathryn Janeway had been restored and general applause had gone up from the entire crew. Neelix had recovered from his fainting spell and through a comm link told Kathryn that, as ship's morale officer and chef extraordinaire, he was preparing a little reception for their wedding.

 

In the briefing room half an hour ago, she had formally thanked the away team for the work they had done and had given both Magnus and Marla a commendation to be entered into their records. Tom Paris had wanted to know as much as possible about Tommy Kiernan and had grilled Marla and Magnus good-naturedly for information.

 

"See? I told you we're a family of flyers. Of course, there was the odd black sheep or two..."

 

In the nursery, Susan Nicoletti and Mariah Hamilton, who had married Voyager's other pilot, James Hamilton were busy tending to the three small occupants. Of the three, Miral Paris was the oldest. A year old and already running around on two short legs, she was also the most active. She ran to Kathryn, who picked her up and dutifully kissed her on the cheek. Miral looked at Chakotay and scowled a little, until he made a few cooing noises. Then she graced him with a smile. Last time he had been in the nursery picking her up, she had bitten him on the hand.

 

He watched Kathryn with Miral. The child touched Kathryn's hair, tried to pick off the pips, then gave Kathryn a kiss and demanded to be put down again as Susan and Mariah looked on indulgently.

 

Kathryn moved to the other two lying in their cribs, still fast asleep. She bent down and touched each baby in turn. One was little Jamie, Mariah's son, who was only five months old. Long Kathryn stood, caressing the child's rosy cheek. Then she proceeded to the other crib - Lainey Lessing, daughter of Noah and Susan. Chakotay smiled when he remembered the day Noah had come to him to ask his permission to marry Susan.

 

"You should be asking the captain that, Lessing," he told the former Equinox officer.

 

"She'll murder me, Commander."

 

"Nonsense. You both dealt with that a long time ago. She'll not bite."

 

"I keep seeing her face that day... Sorry, I can't help it. I remember all the time."

 

"Then, Noah Lessing, the best thing for you to do is face the captain. At least you'll know that you've made an effort."

 

Noah had gone to see Kathryn and, after the interview, had looked like he was walking on air.

 

"I can't thank you enough, Commander," he said in the mess hall during one of the more quiet sessions.

 

Kathryn had been superlative and generous in her praise of Noah's work in hydroponics; the poor man had glowed when Kathryn praised him. Now, their little Lainey was the darling of the crew because she was so tiny and only three months old. Kathryn looked at Susan, who nodded almost shyly. Lifting the baby gently out of the crib, she let the child lie against her bosom and walked to him, her eyes shining as she held the baby against her.

 

"You're thinking of having children?" he asked, his throat thick with emotion. Kathryn looked beautiful; she looked like the captain who cared about every member on her ship. But it was something different too; her eyes were telling him a different message, something almost mystical.

 

"For myself, yes. I always thought of having children... But I realised too, with these experiences we've all had...you, me, Magnus Rollins, Marla, Tom Paris..."  She held the baby to him and very carefully he cradled little Lainey Lessing in his arms, while keeping his eyes on her all the time.

 

"We never think about it, you know. At least not as part of our conscious thoughts. But children...they are our future... Did Kathleen know that her children would be a new generation that would ensure the next generation and the next...?"

 

"And our children," he said, his voice hoarse with emotion, "will be our future, taking us to a time we will not know."

 

There was a sheen in Kathryn's eyes. She looked so happy.

 

"I'm so happy... I want to have children...yours, Chakotay. They will be proud bearers of our unique union."

 

"And so very precious, Kathryn," he added. He handed the baby to Susan, and picked up Miral, who promptly wanted to bite him again. "Oh no, you don't, missy. This hand has to put a ring on a very, very important finger, little one..."

 

" – por- por…" Miral echoed in her baby talk.

 

*****************************

 

The holodeck had been transformed into a forest glade, a replica of the glade on New Earth, near the bend in the river where he had found the large flat rock they dubbed Breakfast Rock. They all seemed out of time here. In reality it was.

 

Marla Gilmore and Magnus Rollins had dressed in period costume, and Kathryn had been a dream walking in white lace on the arm of Magnus Rollins with Marla just behind them. To their great surprise everyone who had been off duty and present at the ceremony was also in period costume; Chell looked every inch the Dickensian gentleman in his greatcoat, fob watch and chain. Neelix's tailsuit wiped the floor; Kathryn instantly dubbed him the Sunshine Chef. He had complained a little that Tuvok was calling him Rumpelstiltskin, whoever that was, but that was okay, as long as he didn't remain "Mr Neelix". He would call Tuvok "Mr Vulcan" for as long as he lived.

 

But Kathryn...

 

She sparkled as Magnus handed her to him.

 

"We went a very long way to get her, Commander, so take good care of her..."

 

Precisely as if he had been Kathryn's father commanding him to look well after his daughter or else.

 

"Don't worry, I will," he promised.

 

He looked around him, seeing the eager and expectant faces of the crew. Marla and James, in cahoots with Tom and B'Elanna, had arranged that those present be in costume. Since Kathryn had ordered him to wear a late 19th century tail suit with high cravat, he hadn't demurred. For her he'd do anything. Besides, they were doing it also in memory of Kathleen O'Clair, who had made this moment possible, whose love for her Edward spanned two generations. Kathryn looked like Kathleen on the faded wedding photo Kathryn had showed him.

 

Tuvok was the only officer in dress uniform, as even the doctor had dressed up for the occasion. It formed a contrast, a spanning of worlds old and new.

 

His vows came from an old poem...

 

I cry your mercy -- pity -- love! -- aye, love!

merciful love that tantalizes not,

One-thoughted, never-wandering, guileless love,

Unmask'd, and being seen --without a blot!

O! let me have thee whole, - all - all - be mine!

That shape, that fairness, that sweet minor zest

of love, your kiss, - those hands, those eyes divine,

that warm, white, lucent, million-pleasured breast, -

Yourself - your soul - in pity give me all,

Withhold no atom's atom or I die...

 

Kathryn had read to him Elizabeth Barret Browning's immortal poem, and her hand trembled now like a leaf in a light breeze. He knew how much they meant to her, those words. He knew how, in her own quiet moments, he had been her centre. He knew, like no other being on this ship, how much Kathryn needed him.

 

They both smiled as Naomi Wildman walked up to them with their rings. The young girl was clothed in a frilly Victorian dress. The moment was hallowed as he slipped her ring on Kathryn's finger. For a few seconds he closed his eyes as he felt how Kathryn slipped a ring on his finger. He was facing Kathryn, and mouthed the words "I love you" like a benediction. Then he turned to look at Tuvok.

 

Tuvok raised an eyebrow. Chakotay frowned, wondering what the Vulcan wanted them to do now.

 

"I believe you may kiss the bride."

 

He gave a relieved laugh as he bent down to kiss Kathryn.

 

After that, they mixed with the crew who were present, each one wishing them well. Rumpelstiltskin waddled around serving Leola Surprise.

 

"Once it's on your tongue, it melts away like Ghost Breath," he promised.

 

Kathryn had given him carte blanche on the rations, so there were confectioneries that were actually edible. Tuvok raised an eyebrow at Neelix's yellow creation, then appeared to shake his head.

 

Out of the corner of his eye, Chakotay saw Seven of Nine, who had been languishing in the background, approach them, although they had seen her during the proceedings. She too had decided to dress in costume and looked resplendent and virginal in her ice-blue creation. Chakotay thought absently that Seven of Nine would make someone very happy one day. He had once thought that he could be that man until he quickly came to his senses, realising that he would wait for Kathryn, even if he had to wait seven years more. Even at that time, a year ago, Kathryn had been reticent, although he discovered that she had been devastated by the possibility of his liaison with the former Borg. One evening in her quarters she had revealed herself inadvertently when he saw the pained expression on her face after he mentioned that Seven of Nine was in love with him. He hadn't realised himself how his own tone of voice, his facial expression, the fact that the Borg had stroked his battered ego, had been a revelation to Kathryn until he saw her eyes. That had given him so much hope that he had rebuked himself for his momentary lapse. He knew then that even waiting for another year would be enough, that Kathryn would tell him when she was ready.

 

He had been glad that he hadn't pressed the issue with her, so that when she revealed her true feelings for him, it was unconditional, untarnished by any masks, any obstacles that might have blighted her decision to marry him. So, with Kathryn's arm hooked conformably and possessively through his, they waited for Seven of Nine. He knew that she and Icheb had done so much for their combined effort to get Kathryn back.

 

"Captain Janeway...Commander... May I wish you well on your marriage. Your happiness means a lot to me..."

 

"Thank you, Seven," Kathryn said. "It means a lot to me too, that we have the blessing of the  whole crew on our union..."

 

Chakotay's heart filled with joy at Seven's words. She hid her feelings well, and he hoped that in time, Seven of Nine would find the love and affection and respect that he knew would come her way. Seven produced a smile, one that seemed to light up her face, one that freed the moment from its impediments. He felt Kathryn's sigh of relief and realised that she had been tense in these moments.

 

"I see now how it is... I see that love which is reciprocated... It is...grounding. Perhaps one day, I will know such love too," she said softly.

 

"You will, Seven of Nine," he said with heartfelt conviction. "you will..." he repeated as he saw Harry Kim walk in their direction to woo Seven away to Breakfast Rock... Seven nodded as she turned to look at Harry, who took her hand and led her away with the words "Breakfast Rock is a dream..." ringing in their ears.

 

Kathryn looked up at him, her eyes welling with tears. She mouthed the words "I love you", enfolding them in their cocoon of complete devotion.

 

Then they saw the doctor make his way towards them. His face looked serious.

 

"What is it, Doctor?" Kathryn asked him.

 

"Captain Braxton thought you would have some questions. He expressed his regret that he couldn't be here with us today, that duty called and that the Temporal Prime Directive prohibits him from divulging anything with regard to Michael Sullivan, save to say that Sullivan was the one who...sullied your timeline."

 

"I understand, Doctor," Kathryn replied. But the way she squeezed Chakotay's arm told him she was curious. She would respect it, he knew.

 

"Surely he couldn't have gone without saying anything else?" Chakotay asked, feeling Kathryn's disappointment.

 

"Well," the EMH started, "he did say to tell you that your union will resonate into the 29th century..."

 

"Excuse me, Doctor," Tom Paris cut in, waiting for the doctor to leave before he turned to Chakotay.

 

"I do believe you've wished us on our marriage already, Paris."

 

"Yeah, well. Here is the key."

 

Chakotay frowned heavily as Tom produced a key hanging on a ring that had a miniature Delta Flyer on it.

 

"What is this for, Paris?" he asked.

 

"Chakotay, it's - " Kathryn started, but Tom didn't even seem to hear her.

 

"I figured, since we're a day away from Ankares IV, that I'd better take my place on the bridge. Tuvok has already taken command there. I give you my Delta Flyer for twenty four hours until we reach Ankares - "

 

"But a key..." he mused, his brow knitting in perplexity.

 

"Just so you get a feel of the toggle switches and all, I've installed an ignition sequence. You must turn this key in the ignition to start up the engines."

 

"The Delta Flyer isn't  - " Kathryn tried to get in a word.

 

"Take good care of my Flyer, Commander."

 

"Take good care of my ship, Tom," Kathryn finally managed.

 

******************************

 

"Chakotay, did you see the look on Marla's face when she caught my bouquet? She looked straight at Magnus Rollins. Rollins looked pleased as punch!"

 

"Yes, he was deeply affected by the knowledge of Kathleen and Edward's love story," he replied as they made their way to her quarters where they would change into more comfortable clothes. "Marla has been in love with him since she came on board."

 

"He shouldn't let her wait too long," she murmured as they reached her cabin and she entered her codes.

 

"Not after the away mission and today. I think the fever has bitten quite a few more crewmembers."

 

She turned into his arms, and hugged him close to her.

 

"I haven't given you any gift, Chakotay, but I have something here for you..."

 

"What is it, sweet Kathryn?" he asked, in a hurry to change and get away in the Flyer with her. He wanted her in his arms forever.

 

She led him to her bedroom - their bedroom now, he suddenly realised with a pang of joy that shot through him. Releasing his hand she walked to her dresser, opening the bottom drawer and taking something out. She  returned with a little rectangular metal box.

 

"Open it," Kathryn commanded softly. Her voice sounded breathy, excited. "Please..."

 

He opened the box slowly and then gasped sharply as he touched the stone reverently. It looked even more worn from centuries of use. Only yesterday he had given it to Kathleen O'Clair... He felt the sting of tears, blinked several times.

 

"Kathryn..."

 

"Kathleen O'Clair-Janeway mentioned the kindness of her friend Charles, an American Indian who gave her the riverstone with its unique pattern. She always felt a spiritual connection to the man who gave it to her. Every first born son was given this stone, to be given to his wife on his wedding day. My father had no sons, so I inherited the stone, Chakotay. I couldn't tell you about it, and had to wait for this day. It's the way of the Janeway tradition..."

 

"Kathryn, I - " he started, not knowing what to say to her.

 

"I know now that you gave this stone to Katie O'Clair the day she boarded the Britannic. It has been in our family since then, for four hundred and eighty years..."

 

His mind was a blur of memories of the young woman who had stood on the quay that day, so alone and yet so unbelievably brave. Why had he taken the stone with him? Did he know that one day, it might come back to him? He didn't know, except that his faith had been pure. His hands became limp, his fingers lazy as the riverstone dropped to the floor. He pulled Kathryn into his embrace and kissed her deeply. On her cheeks he felt the dampness, on her eyelids he tasted her tears.

 

"I love you so much, Kathryn Janeway. So much..."

 

"And I love you... Not a day passes that I don't think how much I love you, and how much I need you. Every day...every day... In every quiet moment. It's been in my heart so long... I breathe...I breathe, for you are the breath in me..."

 

He held her away from him, his hands on her slender shoulders, his eyes feverish as they feasted on her.

 

"Come, my sweet Kathryn. Let us go and make history..."

 

**********************************

 

THE END

 

   

This, my land -  by Kathleen O'Claire

 

I wandered off to distant lands

my destiny lay there

on foreign shores I trod the sands

left footprints everywhere.

 

New country's blood flowed through my veins

Respected all her laws

Did visit once her grassy plains

and even fought her wars

 

How proud I was of golden chance

to shine in my new sun

I praised her well in song and dance

I had indeed great fun

 

But times that I was lost in thought

'twas not these pastures green

or canyons grand for which I sought

or 'scrapers I have seen

 

My heart walks back a thousand miles

where shamrocks fill the field

and jewels of the emerald isles

is all my heart can yield

 

O Ireland! This, my native land

I must return to you

to walk on your beloved strand

and call you 'home', anew.

 

  *******************************

Author's Notes

 

The vessel Britannic - built in 1874 - was a steamship in the White Star Line and it did, indeed, sail commercially for the last time in June 1899, after which it was used to transport British soldiers fighting in South Africa in the Anglo-Boer War 1899 - 1902. In 1903 the Britannic was scrapped. 

 

The gramophone was patented to one Berliner in 1887. In 1902 the tenor Enrico Caruso recorded the first operatic arias on gramophone.

 

 By 1912 Southampton became the major port of departure for ships sailing to New York.

 

The New York Times was established in 1858 [?] and by 1899 the paper had established female journalists and reporters. 

 

I have never been to Ireland, but I've tried my best to create the period and landscape at least a little familiar to readers. I've read extensively about the farm [and smallholding] system pertaining to

the 19th century and the arranged marriages were part of signing deals. It is reasonable to assume then that all Kathleen's sisters were "farmed" out to husbands selected for them, to ensure potential

wealth and expedience in joining of land. 

 

Poverty was rife; girls didn't have much opportunity for education/schooling, therefore a high level of  illiteracy existed.

 

The song, "I'll take you home, Kathleen"  was written around 1867 and was one of the most popular tunes in America and Europe. I listened to a recording off a CD called "Celtic Melodies" with

James Galway playing the haunting melody on the flute.

 

THE POEMS

 

1.      When will it end, dear mother of mine? - by  vanhunks

2.      Touch me now, my beloved - by vanhunks

3.      This, my land - by vanhunks

4.      I cry your mercy -  by John Keats, Sonnet 19

5.      I'll take you home again, Kathleen - by Thomas P. Westendorf

 

 

EMAIL

J/C FANFIC