Captain Kathryn Janeway made her way to the shuttle bays of the USS Crimond. She smiled as she passed junior officers and ensigns. Their "good morning, Captain" rang like music in her ears. Hands behind her back she paused here and there, offered a greeting, shared a comment or two with especially the young ensigns who seemed, she suspected, a little wary of her. Only on the bridge she was ultra-formal and business-like, too aware of the four shiny new rank pips, too aware that the success of her command rested on her performance and her conduct as an officer.

Had she paused to turn when the junior officers passed her, or even cocked her ears and eavesdropped, she might have heard such comments as:

"The captain is in a good mood today, Runé."

"That makes me a lot more comfortable, Junaid. I'm nervous around her, you know..."

"You shouldn't be. There's a lot of woman under the aura of aloofness."

"And not a man on this vessel who will bring it out in her..."

"But there is such a man, no doubt. Haven't you heard? Her husband is serving on the Ormskirk..."

"The Native American everyone drools over?"

"Yeah. That's the one..."

She knew though, that the crew talked, speculated, made bets, even fantasized!

Kathryn had accepted her new commission with honour, and vowed to be the best Captain she could be on board the vessel USS Crimond. She had taken over command from Andreas Buccholtz who based himself permanently in San Francisco after accepting a new posting at Starfleet Academy. Kathryn sighed. She wished Chakotay would... Then again, why should he when she herself still hankered so terribly after the stars? Her curiosity reached unquenchable levels, and like a drug administered that would relief her pain for a while, she explored the Alpha Quadrant and sated herself only temporarily. Sometime in the future, she would consider putting down roots that didn't move. Chakotay had never insisted she stay at Headquarters... She was not ready for that. Not by a long shot.

Andreas Buccholtz who had secretly been in love with her best friend Dalene Petranoff, had made a decision Kathryn knew had been the most difficult to make in the circumstances. His wife whom he finally divorced had not let her children go easily as most people thought they would. After giving the impression of not caring one way or the other, Eleanor Buccholtz had offered objections, and relented only when she knew that Andreas was to settle at Headquarters. Maris and Eugenie could still visit her whenever they liked.

But it had seemed to Kathryn the girls had taken to Dalene immediately. It was Dalene's exuberance, her zest for life and her commitment to their father that won them over. They talked to her, something Dalene said later in a private communication to Kathryn, the girls had not done much with their mother. Andreas Buccholtz was a happy man now. In June Andreas and Dalene were to marry, as soon as she, Roger Petranoff and Chakotay could all be together at the same time.

When Kathryn reached the turbolift, she had been surprised and shook her head a little at the way her thoughts had run.

"Deck Twelve."

The lift moved noiselessly as it made its way to the deck where the shuttle bays were located.

She smiled again and felt a thrill coursing through her as she exited the turbolift and proceeded briskly to the main shuttle bay. It was some distance there, and she was a little tired. She needed to get out of her uniform, out of her boots, and soak in a hot tub. She had been on her feet all day and her feet ached. In truth, she had been wound up, so tense that the headache that started this afternoon and lingered as an irritating throb at the base of her skull had not left her. It was not life threatening and a visit to the medical bay was just a waste of time. She took a leaf out of Chakotay's book there. If he could do without a physician while walking around with extreme pain, so could she. Lately, she had neglected paying the doctor a visit for her tension headaches which, not surprisingly, had made their presence felt the first time she took command of her vessel.

The Crimond was a large vessel, with a crew complement of four hundred, and the last few days moving between worlds on the outer perimeter of Federation space where they dropped new colonists, had been particularly busy. It was a break she needed of a few days and spending it on her own vessel while her Executive Officer, Commander Eamon Daley, took over for a few days. She had not wanted to return with the Crimond to Earth immediately, and the thought of shore leave was not too appealing at the moment. Besides, Chakotay...

"Good to see you here, Captain," Lieutenant-Commander Magnus Rollins, her Chief of Security greeted cheerily as she entered Shuttle Bay 1 and stood on a small platform to wait for an incoming shuttle.

"Thank you, Magnus." She turned to look expectantly at the shuttle bay doors.

"In 30 seconds, Captain," Rollins said with an efficient air.

"Dead on time, I should say. Remind me to take you with me when I'm posted to my next vessel, Mr Rollins."

Magnus Rollins nodded gravely. She liked him; he was super-efficient, a typical behind-the-scenes man who never much liked being fussed over, but was able to get things done which took much off her hands. Magnus had a ten year old son, James and seven year old daughter Pennina.

"Preparing for docking procedure..."

A minute later a shuttle appeared and touched down soundlessly on the shuttle pad. Kathryn looked at Magnus and smiled her gratitude, smile which he returned. She moved to the shuttle, but its pilot had already opened the hatch and stepped out. A warmth spread through her as Chakotay saw her and his face broke into a wide grin. He looked so incredibly handsome, her heart wanted to burst with pride. When he stopped in font of her, his dimples deepened and his eyes rested tenderly on her.

"Good timing, Commander. I expected you at exactly 2010 hours."

"You'd kill me if I were late, Captain. I dare not be late!" he said as he put his hands on her shoulders and drew her gently closer. Very mindful of the stares of Rollins and other lower decks crew who were always busy in the shuttle bays, Chakotay kissed her lightly on the lips. Kathryn groaned softly as an electric charge coursed through her. When Chakotay looked at her again, he looked almost regretful that the kiss was so short. But to Kathryn his eyes held a promise of a soak in a hot tub together later in the evening.

"I'm glad you could make it, sweetheart," she whispered softly as they walked, not touching, to where Magnus Rollins was giving commands to two ensigns. Rollins walked up to them.

"It's good to see you, Commander Chakotay. Our lives have been made hell on the Crimond," Rollins said with a hint of humour.

"Captain?" Chakotay looked at Kathryn and the twinkle in his eyes as well as Magnus's kind regard somehow absorbed any offence she might have felt at her Security Chief's words. Being Captain was still so new to her. So she smiled at them and nudged Chakotay that he follow her to the turbolifts. Chakotay's hand went up and touched her back lightly. "Well, Kathryn, you seem to invoke the fear of the devil in your subjects - "

"Chakotay! I'm not a monarch!"

"You're my queen," he whispered close to her ear as soon as they were walking along the long corridor towards the turbolift. The heat seemed to bounce off him and quiver between the two of them. Kathryn had a hard time trying to keep her cool as one or two crewmembers passed them. She hadn't been with her husband for more than a month, and it had cost some juggling to have his few days leave coincide with some of her off days, providing their vessels were in the same sector. She was afraid to touch him, not even his hand, and his own palm that had rested so briefly on her back, burned through her uniform. Already the heat had spread to her lower abdomen…When she looked at Chakotay, her face was a mask that covered the turbulent passion underneath.

"And I love you to distraction, Commander. But please, oh, please," she stated, glaring at him, one eyebrow elegantly arching, "let me get to my quarters in sane mind and body and, er…un-mussed..."

There was an undercurrent they couldn't hide and Chakotay gave a groan as he touched Kathryn's hand. His hand moved away swiftly when a crewman passed them. Kathryn still felt a little reserved when it came to displaying affection openly, even if the object of her affection was her husband. During their weekly subspace communications, whatever they tried to assuage their passion only fanned them to further intense hunger. She was going to suggest that they stop, since it served only to leave them unsated and hungrier than ever. Kathryn gave a little sigh which caused Chakotay to pause and look at her. He laced his fingers behind his back and gave a quirky smile.

"Captain, if we make it to your quarters in one piece, I'll extend my leave an extra day..."

That evoked the sweetest smirk from her.

"You're on, Commander."

In the turbolift they met two ensigns who nodded severely when she and Chakotay entered. Chakotay had greeted them courteously, but they appeared to sidle closer together, and in tandem they sought the turbolift wall that would put the greatest distance between them, the Captain and her husband.

"Ensigns, at ease before you sprain something," Kathryn said, hardly able to mask her amusement at the behaviour of the two young ensigns.

"Aye, Captain!"

"You've not met Commander Chakotay, have you?" she asked.

They shook their heads and Chakotay shook his head and then laughed, holding out his hand to them.

"Glad to make your acquaintance, er...?"

"Ensign Golwat, Sir," the young Bolian woman said.

Chakotay frowned. "You're not related to - "

"Tongwat, Sir. He's serving on your vessel..."

"Ah..." Chakotay responded. "Tongwat saved my life once."

"Yes, Sir! In the mine shaft of Moldor IV."

The ensign seemed to relax visibly and her companion breathed a sigh of relief as he greeted:

"I'm Ensign Ellismere, Commander. Commander, may I say, Commander..."

Kathryn squeezed Chakotay's arm and gave a quirky smile.

"He'll ask you to ask me to go easy on them..."

"Captain!" Ellismere blustered, "how did you know?"

They were saved from having to answer when the turbolift doors opened and the ensigns practically baled out there as if they had been ejected from an air lock.

"What are you doing to them, Kathryn?" Chakotay asked as they exited a few seconds later on her deck.

"Oh, nothing more or less than the discipline I know you're so fond of exercising on the Ormskirk."

"You heard?"

"There's little I don't know when it comes to my husband, Chakotay," Kathryn breathed as she entered the codes to her cabin.

"Then," Chakotay breathed huskily as they entered her cabin and the doors slid close behind them, "you will know that I've been dying to do this…" He pulled Kathryn round roughly and before she could even react, his lips bore down on hers and locked in a searing kiss for such a long time that Kathryn's chest burned as she struggled to breathe. Chakotay's hands were in her hair, unpinning her the knot so that it fell loosely about them. His moan even as he refused to break off the kiss was evidence of his great need.

When he let her go at last, Kathryn took in great gulps of air. Her eyes were heated. Chakotay only allowed her a few more seconds to recover before he pulled her to him again, pulling her head back so that her arched neck lay exposed just before he trailed blazing kisses along the length of her neck, nipped her ear, returned to kiss her waiting mouth, their breath mingling as they groped hungrily at their uniforms.

"I'll never get enough of you," he whispered hoarsely as he started to bite off her rank pips one by one even as his hands tore off her jacket and pulled up her tank top. By the time he removed and spit out the last pip, the teal-coloured top was about to be pulled over her head. Chakotay gave a loud groan as his mouth caught one breast, the satin bra becoming an amazing ornament of eroticism as he sucked on a nipple.

Kathryn's hands had not been idle. She too, tugged at his rank pins one by one, and the soft thudding they made as they landed on the floor incited her as she pulled his jacket and top roughly from him.

Chakotay paused only a fraction from his blazing wandering kisses on her breasts, ears, lips, cheeks to look with glazed eyes at her.

Panting, he asked: "Nice, or not so nice, Kathryn?"

And Kathryn, her breathing low and erratic, managed to gasp.

"Oh, God, Chakotay, don't think. Just…do it!"

****

He could sit for hours and watch Kathryn sleep. He had been right after their first night together when he thought that she was a quiet sleeper. Not a ripple came from her, except the gentle rise and fall of her breasts as she breathed. She had just shifted from her side to lie on her back and her arm was thrown out carelessly over the light cover he had thrown over her earlier.

They made love the moment they entered her quarters and until about an hour later, he had not given any thought how tired she had been. Only when she mentioned the lingering headache earlier, had he realised what magnificent restraint she must have exercised when she came down to meet him in the shuttle bay, and neglected to see the ship's doctor to give her some relief for her headache.

As it was, now, hours later, it seemed to have abated.

"It was because I missed you so much, Chakotay," she said as they sat in her tub and enjoyed a glass of wine. "I worked myself into a state…"

Under the water her toes fondled his crotch and a delicious sensation had gone through him. He had given a little moan of pleasure, but controlled the urge to take her again right there in the tub.

"Then I'm glad I came, honey. You needed the break."

The corner of her mouth lifted in a little smile as she acknowledged his words.

"Naturally, you could come again," she crooned seductively.

"You need to rest, Kathryn. Tomorrow, we'll play Velocity, and I'll allow you to beat me…"

"I always beat you anyway, Chakotay."

"There, see? I can see we'll have a great game tomorrow."

Kathryn had given him a grateful look.

"Did I tell you lately how much I love you, darling?"

"About once, a year ago…ouch!"

Kathryn had used her foot, and clamped her toes around his testicles, pinching as hard as she could. He spilled his drink, and when he shot up, Kathryn's glass shot out of her hand. Half an hour later both of them were busy mopping the bathroom. There had been water everywhere after he had grabbed and pulled her over him where his hardness had been ready and waiting as she sank down on him with a long drawn out sigh.

Now she lay sleeping, her breathing even, relaxed as he hadn't seen her lately. Their last communication via subspace she had a pinched look about her, her face sallow; at the time he had only been mildly concerned. He knew she had taken her new commission with all the seriousness the position entailed and that she had been almost obsessive about discipline and duty, not wanting to fail and more importantly, not wanting to be seen as lacking in control or weak. It had been harder on her because she was one of the few serving Starfleet female captains. While there had been parity for centuries between men and women, there still existed even today, a certain perception of women in high ranks - one which he thought was unfair in the extreme. They were, like any other male, not only commanding officers, but also human, women, with all the desires of having that aspect of their lives acknowledged A certain discrimination abounded which belied the modern air of enlightenment: women captains had to behave, act within certain parameters as suited to their rank and be an officer and a lady. The tag of lady being mere semantics without the expression of womanhood. He wondered idly whether Kathryn would have contemplated marriage with him had she already been a captain when he met her the first time.

Thrusting that unpalatable thought from him, he tried to concentrate on the Rubaiyat, but the words blurred and finally he put the book down and walked to the bed. He had been sitting in a deep chair that Kathryn had installed in her bedroom. He favoured a deep armchair and the one at home in San Francisco had become something of a joke between him and Kathryn.

"I swear, Chakotay, I'll have to counsel our children one day when we have them, to keep out of your chair."

So Kathryn, when she took her new commission, had the chair - a new one - brought in for whenever he was on her vessel. He smiled to himself. Just as he wanted to do so many things for Kathryn, in her own unobtrusive way, she made his life comfortable, especially after he had so much trouble with his leg that had taken so long to heal. She had been extra attentive and always concerned that he allowed his leg to heal properly. Now, a year later, he had no trouble anymore, and his walking stick had become a nice ornament hanging on a brace at home.

The bed creaked a little as his weight bore down on it, but Kathryn did not wake up; she only shifted her position again, gave a really deep contented sigh as her hand reached for him. He smiled to himself. She always sensed that he was near her, that she could reach out and touch him. Even now, though she was asleep, she knew her hand would be held in his and she curled her fingers around him.

With his free hand he smoothed away her hair from her face, then his palm rested for a moment against her cheek.

He knew that when she woke up, she'd ask him the question he had seen several times tonight in her eyes. Her birthday was next month and…he sighed. Bending over he planted a gentle kiss on her cheek. He had to leave again in two days for the Ormskirk, when they would rendezvous with the Enterprise. Captain Picard and his team would be heading for Dorvan V soon.

"You can tell me now, Chakotay…" he heard Kathryn's soft whisper. He rocked to attention. Did Kathryn hear his thoughts? he wondered.

"You're supposed to be asleep, darling," he countered, but Kathryn had stirred and in the next moment, she was sitting up and staring at him.

"You wouldn't normally interrupt my sleep, Chakotay," she said quietly.

He gave a little laugh. He didn't want to wake her outright, but just sitting on the bed next to her, had given the indication that something weighed on him.

"I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. Tell me." Kathryn frowned and caressed his cheek, her thumb grazing his lips.

"I'll not be home for your birthday, Kathryn…" He felt such a heel. They had made plans to celebrate at their home in Indiana. Kathryn had been feeling depressed at not being able to conceive again, and no matter how much he encouraged her that they shouldn't be in a hurry, she'd been quiet at times, deeply reflective, and at other times the mists had gone and she was bubbly again. Spending her birthday with her family in Indiana was as much a way of visiting her mother and sister again as it was a surrounding in which she could just be Kathryn, his friend, his lover, his companion. With her loved ones around her, who knows…?

He could see how her eyes clouded, but Kathryn quickly subdued her disappointment by given him a broad smile. He pulled her into his arms and stroked her back. When she looked at him again, there was a resolve in her eyes.

"We're Starfleet, Chakotay. We can't always choose where we want to be. Don't worry, honey. I know you'll contact me on that day or even before, but I know you won't forget…"

"I'll be on Dorvan V," he said soberly and Kathryn nodded. He had given her updates from time to time and Kathryn knew that talks were under way to effect a truce - yet another one - between Cardassia and the Federation. Dorvan V's position was unique. It lay on the edge of Federation space which was also the edge of the Cardassian Union's border. Both were interested in the planet, and Chakotay, only recently elected as an ambassador would have to be present to help protect the interests of his homeworld as best as he could for his people.

"It's more important than my birthday - "

"No, Kathryn. Your birthday is important to me. You'll have your gift, don't worry," he said and he pulled her in his arms again. He could feel Kathryn relax.

"Chakotay…"

"Hmmm?"

"No…it's alright. Forget it…"

Chakotay held her away from him.

"Come on, Kathryn. Something's on your mind." He stroked her cheek. "What's up, honey?"

When Kathryn touched the locket, Chakotay wished for a moment that he hadn't given her the gift. He sensed even when she had given him assurances to the contrary, that she wanted to please him by giving him a baby. He wanted her, he loved her, he would lay down his life for her. If there were to be a baby for them one day - one who shall be named Hannah - that would be a blessing, a gift given to them both. Right now, Kathryn was in a hurry to have a baby and perhaps it wouldn't be such a good idea that it happened so soon after they lost Jaime. He was aware of the burden such a new baby could carry. He'd heard it once before, from an old acquaintance who said: "We had this baby to replace the one we lost…" It didn't sit well with him, and he actually shrank back from his friend's statement. It wasn't what he wanted for him and Kathryn. In her time, Hannah will come.

"Patience, Kathryn, hmmm?"

Kathryn nodded, and the fleeting sadness was replaced by her old quirky smile. He wanted to haul her into his arms again but Kathryn rose from the bed and pulled him up.

"How about that game of Velocity now?"

"Kathryn! It's 0100 hours!"

"Chakotay! You were reading till a short while ago!" she parried.

Chakotay groaned and when he pulled her quickly into his arms to kiss her, their holodeck date was all but sealed.

***

Indiana in May. Kathryn always thought the season treated her birthday well. The morning turned out to be sunny; she was home for the first time in years on her birthday. Sitting in the swing seat on the porch with the sun streaming onto the floor was her idea of enjoying the tranquillity of home. She'd been reading Persuasion as she woke up and lay in bed for the first hour and now the book lay on her lap, with a bookmark Chakotay had made for her. Ann Elliot was still being ignored by Frederick Wentworth who, if Mrs Bennet of Pride and Prejudice had her way of intruding on the someone else's story, would have said that Miss Elliot had used him abominably ill. So many centuries after the book had been written, Kathryn still found the language and style so quaint. But she adored her Miss Elliot, who was persuaded to put duty before love and sent away the man she adored for more than seven years…

Kathryn sighed. There was no doubt in her mind that Chakotay was an important part of her life; duty and command were necessary functions of her working life, but her personal life needed sustenance, she needed to be needed as a woman too. Chakotay had come into her life at a time when she thought that no man would ever again pierce the carefully erected armour she had been at so such pains to maintain. Only then she had considered seriously the necessity of giving herself and not weigh too hard the options of her duty to Starfleet and all it entailed and being a woman who was cherished by a man.

Not just any man.

Chakotay. He was the breath of her life. Without him she would be half alive. With him, she would be a complete woman. She wanted that, she got that. It was something she had recognised the moment she had laid eyes on him. Now, almost eighteen months later, she could not imagine a day without him. Even while he was away, or while they were both on missions into deep space, she had always felt that connection. It was there not only in the weekly subspace communications, but every day when they were spiritually connected as well. In that respect, her visit to Dorvan V had done more than just introduce Chakotay's family to her. It inspired in her too, a spiritual sense, something she had always been sceptical of, always finding answers in science. Quantum mechanics was exact - she could pit her brain against strange anomalies and still come up with a solution. The transcendental, the spiritual, the meditative - they were elusive qualities with improbabilities that only since her visit to Chakotay's homeworld she had become more sensitive to.

Perhaps that was why she missed him a little today. Even as a child when she had been disappointed so many times by an absent father who not only forgot her birthday, but tried to make up afterwards by pawning trivial gifts off to her. Trivial because they were not given out of a sense of love and sharing and wanting to see her eyes light up, but because it had become a chore. Chakotay missed her birthday last year. He had still been somewhere in Federation space on his way home that time. They had been close even then, although he had been unable to share her day with her.

"Don't worry, Chakotay. There'll be a 20 May next year," she said cheerily last year. He had had a doleful look on his face then, one that she wanted to change into a smile quickly. She couldn't bear to see that look on his face.

Now, today, on her thirty seventh birthday, he was not going to be here. She didn't feel extreme sadness or disappointment. He had a job, a duty which came first right now. Kathryn gave a small smile. He had been secretive about her gift, said that it was in his drawer at home in San Francisco. The bottom drawer that he had been forced to take after she appropriated the two top ones, had been a little goldmine of little collectibles. She never rifled though his things although he had given her carte blanche. Still, she never knew what he would come up next. There was something there in an oblong box that had been there since they married. He must have had it for a very long time. Perhaps it was a family heirloom or something. She sensed that some way or another, Chakotay would get her gift to her today. She loved surprises…

She gave a sigh. After breakfast - it consisted of coffee and toast - she had been wished by her mother who had given her a batik scarf and Phoebe had given her the painting she had completed after Chakotay's last visit to Indiana. It was a beautiful painting. Two figures sat under a tree in the long grass. The woman wore a wide brimmed hat and her head was close to the man's head, as if they were deep in conversation. Although their faces were not recognisable, it was unmistakably Kathryn and Chakotay. Recognition lay in the body language of the two figures - something Phoebe had drawn to perfection. Kathryn, petit, yet possessing an inner strength that could be seen in the way her head was cocked to listen to the man. Also the position of the woman's hands - they were gesturing in a way that appeared self-confident, as if she were drumming home a point. The figure of Chakotay as the man was so Chakotay that it brought tears in Kathryn's eyes. Chakotay was the listener. He was a brilliant listener; it could be seen by the way he sat, just so that he could turn his head to hear the woman speak of deep devotion to the man.

Kathryn missed Chakotay today. Communication was difficult; he would probably send her a subspace message later today. That cheered her up. She was thirty seven - on the wrong side of the thirties was what Phoebe liked to remind her of, or what Dalene always said: "Honey, it's the best years of your life. Live it!"

Kathryn turned when someone appeared in the doorway. At sixty three Gretchen Janeway could still turn men's heads. It was a wonder Adam Ponsonby was holding out so long…

"Kathryn, are you coming in?" Gretchen asked. "You've been sitting there all morning."

"I'm enjoying the good weather," replied Kathryn.

Gretchen joined Kathryn on the seat. "You miss him."

Kathryn remained quiet for several minutes, staring at the large oak at the end of the lawn where she and Chakotay sat last year. A little smile tugged at the corner of her mouth. Phoebe had caught not so much the view but the ambience in her painting. Kathryn turned to look at her mother. The book lay loosely on her lap now; Ann Elliot and her Frederick Wentworth for the moment forgotten.

"I miss him."

"But he has a duty."

"I know..."

"Kathryn... I know you never really talked about it - to me, at least - but I understand that you miss Chakotay, especially today. Honey..." Gretchen paused when Kathryn wanted to turn away from her. The gentle touch on her shoulder held Kathryn back and she relaxed back against the seat. "Your father was mostly absent for your milestones, Kathryn. You took it harder than Phoebe, you know. You were his daughter before Phoebe arrived on the scene..."

"Mom, hindsight is something terrible," Kathryn countered. "I understand now that duty to his work, Starfleet, the Federation kept him away for such long periods. It's only - " Kathryn paused abruptly then looked away.

"Now that you're yourself in Starfleet and seeing how men like Roger Petranoff and Sergei Karkoff deal with their absences from home and family - "

"And how their families deal with the prolonged absences of their husbands and fathers..."

"So, you understand."

"I know he's not forgotten, Mom. Chakotay... I've known for a while he wouldn't be here." Kathryn gave a little smile. "He felt so bad about it, Mom... He couldn't sleep!"

"That was your father, Kathryn. I know you feel differently about him now and understand. I know you've made up and became very close again. Remember, Chakotay is only now experiencing the real value of family, too." Kathryn nodded.

"Well, some visitors will be here this afternoon, and I know Chakotay will send me a birthday message. I'll demote him if he doesn't!" Kathryn threatened with glint in her eyes.

"Thank goodness! If he doesn't, I'll not do the mopping up - "

"Mother!"

******

She had received good wishes from Mark Johnson who sent a subspace message from Atoll Prime where they were busy with negotiations with the planet's neighbouring world. Mark had been succinct in his message and although it left her a little deflated, she was glad that he did manage to call her. They were still friends, good friends even, but she doubted whether they would be on the footing again she had enjoyed with him before her marriage. Mark still loved her, she knew, but he was a sensible man, He would respectfully keep his distance, even if she told him it's okay if they joined for a meal at Headquarters restaurant in Chakotay's absence. Dalene had called from San Francisco to wish her and demanded her matron of honour be ready to help her next month when it was her wedding. Kathryn had been bubbling, because Chakotay would be home then and they'd both be able to attend the wedding. Maris and Eugenie were Dalene's flower girls.

"I want the works, Kath. It's going to be my one and only wedding!"

Kathryn was in high spirits, and even trying to get the quiet Admiral Ponsonby, given to pedantic outbursts at times, to lighten up a little bit, didn't dampen her spirits. She was feeling good, and the floating sensation she had all day she put down to her increased excitement at feeling again like a child receiving gifts and the world was fine. Gretchen Janeway had said curtly, "You're not suffering from vertigo, Kathryn."

Their visitors had arrived in their own transports on their farm, so it was with a little surprise that the party looked up where they had been sitting at tables on the lawn just outside the front porch, when a Federation shuttle touched down on the launch pad about a hundred metres away.

"Strange," said Ponsonby.

"Not. It's a delivery vehicle," replied Gretchen Janeway. "An official delivery vehicle."

Already Kathryn felt a wild excitement. Maybe this was from Chakotay. She watched in the distance as two persons exited the shuttle.

"Well, Kathryn, it seems your gift has arrived," offered Phoebe.

"It certainly seems like it. It's not my birthday..." said Gretchen.

"Her young man has thought of her," Adam Ponsonby said.

"Adam, compared to your ripe old age of seventy seven - "

"I'm seventy - "

"As I said, seventy seven. Chakotay is probably a young man. But Adam, you could say her husband has thought of her..."

"Well, I daresay he is her husband, but surely he is also her - "

"Soul mate, friend, lover?"

"Halt it, you two," Phoebe interrupted, and her hand went to that of the person who had been sitting quietly next to her at the white table. Rodea's eyes were laughing eyes, but they rested warmly on Phoebe. She squeezed Phoebe's hand and Phoebe's light grey eyes lit up. Kathryn meanwhile, rose from her chair as the men approached the table. Her eyes remained fixed on the large box…

"Kathryn Janeway?"

"Yes?" She smiled at them, her eyes still riveted to the carrier.

"I'm Lieutenant Shakur. We've been asked to deliver this." Shakur put the box down and bent to open a small hatch. They could see something moving to come out..

"Oh!" exclaimed Kathryn, her cry followed by the others who rose and joined Kathryn.

A small deep bronze to almost red pup clambered out, momentarily disoriented as it started yelping. It was an Irish setter pup, its long ears flapping and tail wagging as Kathryn also bent down to scoop it into her arms.

"Oh, how very cute!" she said as the dog starting wriggling excitedly, licking her face with great enthusiasm. Kathryn looked at Shakur and his partner, her eyes shining. The pup had to be Chakotay's gift to her.

"Captain Janeway?" Shakur's partner called.

"Yes?" She gave him her broadest smile, the puppy had stopped whining and snuggled against her, its head nuzzling her neck.

"Commander Chakotay also sent you this message." He held the PADD to her. "It was relayed to Headquarters, encrypted," he explained. "Commander Chakotay assured us you are in possession of his codes."

"Yes…yes, I am. Thank you," Kathryn said as she took the PADD from him.

"You're welcome, Captain Janeway. And may we say: A happy birthday to you."

Did they actually salute her? She was ecstatic with happiness, unable to absorb much of the surprise of Chakotay's gift.

Kathryn stroked the pup which looked to her to be about ten weeks old. Chakotay's message would probably explain a few things as well. The puppy nuzzled contently against her. She looked happily at the two men as they appeared to click their heels. Then they turned to leave again.

"Well, Kathryn?" Gretchen Janeway said as the men left in their shuttle and Kathryn was still standing a little nonplussed as the shuttle lifted off. "I do believe this very cute little setter has come as a complete surprise to you. She looks like quite a lady."

"Chakotay chose well," Phoebe said laughingly. "She has your red hair, Kathryn!"

"Nonsense. Kathryn's hair is not red, its...golden bronze."

"A fiery one," Adam Ponsonby's voice sounded.

"Certainly like her mistress."

"What are you going to name her, Kathryn?"

"Morag."

"Oh Phoebe, the dog is Irish."

"So what?"

"Don't you dare insult your heritage by naming a clearly Irish dog after a Scot."

Kathryn turned to face her mother whose eyes twinkled with amusement. She looked for a few seconds at her mother, unable to figure why Gretchen Janeway suddenly walked away from her. Kathryn held the puppy closer, blinked again. The figures of the others also started to recede as she tried desperately to focus. What were they talking about? Where were they going?

"Mom..."

"Kathryn?" She felt her hand becoming lifeless and the PADD slipping from it.

"I'm s-sorry... I'm not - "

"Kathryn!"

Kathryn felt the darkness swallow her even as hands groped quickly to prevent her from falling and sinking down...down...down...

***

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