CHAPTER THIRTY THREE
August 2371 - On route to the Badlands
On the bridge of USS Voyager Kathryn felt a constant twinge of unease as the vessel cleaved the black night on her way to the Badlands. Another week and they'd be on the perimeter of a sector of space that no starship had entered before. Massive plasma turbulences had kept out many a starship giving chase to rebel Maquis vessels. It was the perfect hiding place, Kathryn thought, as she looked at Lieutenant Stadi at the conning station. Tom Paris had briefly erupted at not manning the helm himself as they left Deep Space Nine, but she managed to calm the irate young Lieutenant to whom she had given a field commission for the duration of the mission into the Badlands. Tom had given her an aggrieved look, then declared he'd spend some time in the holodeck introducing Harry to Sandrine.
Tom and Ensign Harry Kim had looked almost immediately as if they were joined at the hip; Kathryn stifled a grin as she thought how stiff and prim and proper Harry appeared in her ready room. He had been so deferential, repeatedly calling her 'sir' that she'd had to stop him before he prostrated himself.
In a way Harry had brought her and Chakotay together, the young man having been the soloist at that fateful Command Performance for the President of the Federation where she had fallen instantly in love with Chakotay. Kathryn gave a little sigh. Harry had forgotten his clarinet at home, and he had been quite sad about it. Tom Paris, on the other hand, presented none of the diffidence Harry had shown when he addressed her standing calmly at ease in front of her.
Tom's entry on the bridge on the first day had been a little strained when she introduced him to Eamon Daley, whose sister was one of the young officers killed at Caldik Prime. Eamon, unlike his brother, accepted Tom's handshake with grace and he had given a huge sigh of relief that the awkward moment was over. Still, word had spread and many on the ship still held a little antipathy towards Tom. It was in his eyes when she'd called him to the ready room only the previous day to discuss their planned route with him. He looked like he hadn't slept much.
"You're getting enough sleep, Tom?" she asked.
"No less than most senior officers, Captain," he replied.
"Something else troubling you?"
"I'm fitting in," he said tersely, and she nodded, satisfied with his response. It more than convinced her he was having a hard time, but was dealing with it. Then he had looked at her again with those piercing blue eyes. "It doesn't get any easier, does it, Captain?"
"What do you mean, Tom?"
"Shaking off...bad things. I dream, you know."
"I'm sorry to hear that, Tom."
"On Chakotay's vessel..." Tom started, changing the subject, "he is a good man, Captain. He helped B'Elanna through her nightmares... He saved B'Elanna's life."
"B'Elanna?" she asked, already knowing the truth, but wanting Tom to talk.
"Yes, she - " he paused and a smiled crept to his mouth. "She used to call me a pig..."
"Really?"
"Said she couldn't stand me. We fought often, but she became my friend...sorta. I - I'd like to see her safe, Captain." She had raised an eyebrow and he grinned. "With all the others, of course."
"Of course."
"Anyway, he saved B'Elanna's life. Dalby knew of her and recommended her when Chakotay was looking for an engineer. Captain, that woman's a miracle worker. She'll take Voyager's engines apart and then rebuild them and completely revolutionise them. She uses her spanner like a weapon."
"And you must have ducked a couple of times."
"I did! I don't know what happened when he went to rendezvous with B'Elanna but - " Tom had given a little sigh. "Chakotay killed the five Cardassians who attacked her, in cold blood, Captain...in cold blood. B'Elanna hero-worships him. No one can say anything wrong about him." Kathryn had given a little smile as she remembered her Chakotay being exactly like that, so protective... "Chakotay didn't like me much to begin with. I didn't have much of a cause. I sold my services, Captain. I was very sorry about that. In the end, it didn't matter anymore..."
"I understand, Tom. You gave Dalby and Mariah Henley the opportunity to get away safely."
There was a sudden, fierce pride in Tom's eyes when she mentioned his selfless act. Tom allowed himself to get caught in order to let his two comrades get away. It counted for something in Chakotay's eyes.
"It was the one time I felt I did something good, you know. Dalby is Chakotay's right hand man. There would have been no one to replace him. Chakotay shared many confidences with him and - and ..."
"What, Tom?" She was suddenly interested, though she sensed what Tom was going to say.
"They were doing covert work no one on the Liberty knew of, Captain. I guess you must be aware of that.
She had given a sigh.
"If he falls into the Cardassians' hands, Tom..."
There was a long silence after which she quietly and firmly dismissed Tom, watching reflectively as he exited the ready room. Tom's eyes had an unfamiliar glint in them when he had mentioned B'Elanna Torres's name. She surmised her helmsman must have some feelings for the intrepid engineer. They fought often as Tom said, but every time he spoke of her, even when he said she disliked him and called him a pig, there was a little softness in his regard.
Admiral Paris had not shown much surprise when she communicated to him her choice of helmsman after she had given Tom the directive to tell Owen Paris himself. She knew the older man had hoped she'd select Tom, but he hadn't wanted to throw his weight behind her decision. She had been glad since Tom was the very best man for the job. He piloted Voyager in the last week and she knew that he had been doing additional work in the holodecks, preparing the vessel for the extreme plasma storms. He had been shaken on one occasion when he told her flatly that it would be like sending Voyager through the eye of a needle, so narrow were some apertures that they had to get through.
"But don't worry, Captain. I can do it," he said confidently.
She had nodded gravely, too aware then of the enormity of her task. Five Cardassian vessels were on their way to the same hot spot the Liberty appeared to have been trapped in.
Kathryn gave a deep sigh but smiled nonetheless when Eamon Daley, her first officer, gave her a concerned look. She was gratified when he sat back again in his chair. She was deeply concerned about the fate of Chakotay and his crew. Several Federation starships, headed by the USS Enterprise and the USS Defiant, had destroyed another armaments build-up on an obscure planet where no one had thought to look. Again, that had been information supplied by Chakotay and Kenneth Dalby, and surely, their lives were at risk should the Cardassians get them first. One by one, Cardassian vessels came under attack by the Federation, their phaser banks and secondary command processors targeted exactly where Chakotay had pointed out those vulnerabilities of Cardassian war ships. Still, five vessels had managed to evade the net of Federation maneuvers and for Chakotay and the Liberty, it meant certain death.
Starfleet Command had received intelligence only days before they left Deep Space Nine. Chakotay himself had sent a communication that he needed back-up desperately as they were being followed to the Badlands. Because the Liberty was small, she could outmaneuver the larger war ships and so had managed to keep one step ahead of the enemy. But they were closing in and Voyager was still three days behind. For certain periods each day, she had maintained maximum cruise velocity, which was degrees faster than any other ship in Federation space.’
She gave another sigh. They had to get Chakotay out...they had to... If she failed...
"Captain, we're approaching sector 455," Eamon Daley's voice broke into her reverie. Kathryn gave herself a mental shake, looked at Eamon and nodded her thanks. Then she rose from her chair, and stood on the level of the conning station. She hit her combadge.
"Janeway to Paris."
"Paris here, Captain," came Tom's instant reply.
"You're needed on the bridge."
"I'm on my way. Paris out."
Inside her, the butterflies refused to calm down. She felt wound up and her insides were fluttering at the same time. She berated herself silently for feeling like that, reminding herself that she was a Starfleet officer, trained for combat to take risks in all situations. Hannah and Gretchen and Phoebe and everyone close to her suddenly seemed so far away now. She knew that, for a few precious days, she had to push them to the back of her mind, bury them in her conscious because she needed to concentrate fully on her mission. This was not a benign visit to a homeworld where they were to resettle a few colonists, or transport some dignitaries to an important conference in the outer reaches of Federation Space. It didn't compare to that visit they'd made to Bajor while she was still serving as first officer of the Crimond. Very soon they'd be approaching the Badlands, where the lives of her crew and those of the Liberty depended on their expertise to effect a successful rescue mission. Only one of the guls was known to her, albeit by reputation -Gul Evek, with his ship, the Vetar, was heading the chase. She knew Evek hated Chakotay...
Kathryn breathed a little sigh of relief when Tom Paris entered the bridge.
**
Tom Paris glanced quickly at Captain Janeway and Commander Eamon Daley greeting them before he stepped down to the conn level. Andra Stadi rose immediately from the chair as Tom stood next to her. He smiled at her, relieved that she had taken his commission and job as Chief Helm in good spirit. It helped that she did, since he knew that another excellent pilot would have balked and only conceded his place on the Captain's orders. But he had met Stadi back during their Academy days when he had been a senior cadet and she in her third year. She'd had a reputation already for excellent flying from her first year, but he knew that given certain tricky situations, she was rational enough to acknowledge that she had limitations. It was fine during peace time when all they did was pilot a starship from one planet to another, even landing one on occasion. His own experience extended beyond Stadi's. Where he found a vessel had limitations, he was always wanting to improve it; from his earliest years, he designed vessels of all types for the specifications and needs and cruising velocity he felt the situation warranted. One day, he swore, he would design a vessel that would cruise at warp 10...
Stadi was a very capable pilot; she could handle with ease flying between the stars in benign space. The Badlands was a different kettle of fish. He knew the Badlands; the Limpet, the Liberty's only shuttle, had been like a little marble tossed around by those storms.
He had studied every maneuver devised by Picard, by John Redbay, one time brilliant pilot of the Enterprise, and by Chakotay. It was real pity too about Nick Locarno who was one of the most inventive and creative pilots around and who, like Tom, had been cashiered out of Starfleet. Those were pilots and strategists whose work he studied constantly as he continued to hone his skills at the conn.
Tom sighed. It helped, naturally, that he'd designed Voyager's primary and secondary hulls, as well as her navigational array and suggested its bio-neural circuitry to Leah Brahms. In the beginning Starfleet thought his work too revolutionary, too much like the fantasies of a cocky upstart. Even his father hadn't believed him. Now, Owen Paris appeared more amenable, not so distant and unapproachable as Tom had always imagined him to be. The old man's eyes had been filled with tears when Tom agreed to see them in New Zealand. He had been afraid, but he realised as Owen Paris stood in front of him, that his father had been just as afraid. That had rocked him a bit. His father had always been invincible, never afraid, yet he stood there, afraid to speak to his son.
It was Tom himself who had made the first move.
"I'm glad you came, Dad..."
"Tom..."
His mother had stood back a little, waiting in silence while Owen Paris stepped forward and extended a hesitant hand to Tom. Tom had taken the hand and pulled his father into his embrace, but it hadn't been necessary, as his father had grabbed him spontaneously after that and kept saying, "my son...my son..."
It had been a wrenching time. He couldn't remember when his father had last touched him, let alone hugged him. It had been then that he told Owen Paris about his research and designs, and his submissions three years ago to Utopia Planitia of specs for a ship like Voyager
Tom looked at the panels in front of him and for a moment his heart swelled with pride. This was his vessel too; he felt connected to it and the conn responded to him very differently than it did to Andra Stadi and Lieutenant James Hamilton. It was as if Voyager breathed and listened to him, doing his bidding as he put her through her paces. He was the only pilot so far on Voyager who could maintain warp 9.975 for protracted periods and he sensed that Captain Janeway was pleased with his performance. He never deliberately set out to please her, but he knew his worth and was confident of his ability. No more did Siobhan Daley stare at him in his sleep. He was sorry that she'd died, real deep down gut-wrenching sorry. But, he sighed, it was done, he'd been punished and served his time. This time he was going to make good; every time he piloted Voyager or one of her shuttles, he thought of Siobhan whose brother sat behind him in the Commander's chair.
For you, Siobhan, because you deserved to live.
For you, B'Elanna, because you deserve to live...
The main viewscreen was active and by his calculations he knew that they would reach the perimeter of the Badlands in five hours. They'd been going at high warp and cut their projected time of arrival by almost fifty percent. If anyone ever needed proof about Voyager's cruise velocity at sustained high warp, his official logs would provide it. Already, in the distance, he could see the pinkish-orange billows of cloud dust. He knew the Cardassian vessels were already inside the Badlands, since they couldn't pick up any Cardassian signals because of the ion disturbances. Harry had his work cut out and the kid had been brilliant when, half an hour ago, he informed the Captain that the Liberty had been traced somewhere near a planet called Alkorea, situated in the heart of the Badlands. Most of the worlds the Maquis used as bases or refugee camps were on the other side outside the plasma storms and displacement waves that seemed to have intensified when he had last been in this region, as a free man.
"We're closing in, Captain."
"Good, Mr Paris. Maintain course."
"Captain," Magnus Rollins started, "I've notified the USS Ohio, Serengeti and Saratoga to be on stand-by. They will arrive in seven hours, Captain."
"Thank you, Mr Rollins," Kathryn Janeway said tersely. Tom could hear the tinge of fear in her voice.
We'll be in bad shape when those Cardies are done with us...
"Captain, when the transports are made, I suggest we hightail it out of here," Tom said as he turned to look at her. She had risen from her command chair and was standing a metre behind him, staring intently at the viewscreen. He sighed. Kathryn Janeway was a very worried Captain. She had to get Chakotay to safety not only because of the information he had on the Cardassians, but because he was her husband. He knew she was emotionally involved in this mission.’
If they failed...
If they failed...
"Tom, bring us in slowly," the Captain ordered.
"Captain, there is one Cardassian vessel off our port bow," Tom replied as he reduced warp speed and edged closer.
"Shall we hail them, Captain?" Harry asked.
Tom kept his eyes glued to the panel, but heard the excitement in Harry's voice. The kid's got a lot to learn...
"No, Mr Kim. They know we're here, you can bet on that. Follow in, Tom."
Tom's heart raced as they approached the first of the plasma turbulences. He had flown through this often enough in the Limpet and the Liberty. It was simple enough. On a very small vessel he could just maneuver past cloud bursts and ion storms, even go through them at certain points. This was Voyager, much larger, but tiny by Federation standards. He hoped Starfleet would send the USS Defiant too, as back-up.
"Hold on!"
Voyager dipped, careened madly, then Tom righted the vessel only to have it rocked again as they hit storm after storm. At one moment he clung to his seat after being thrown from it, while behind him he heard a thud as Eamon Daley landed on the floor. Still, Tom managed to keep Voyager going.
"Mr Rollins, status!" he heard Captain Janeway's voice.
"The Cardassian vessel is powering up its weapons, Captain. We can - "
"Kim, bring that ship in closer. Shields up!"
In a second, the Cardassian warship came into view. The next moment, it opened fire and Voyager rocked as Tom swung her sharply to port.
"Phew, that was close," he muttered.
"Rollins!"
"Starboard side strafed, Captain. No extensive damage. Shields at 90%!" Rollins responded calmly.
Tom lined Voyager for attack, waiting the Captain's orders.
"Mr Paris, evasive maneuver Omega 6."
"Got it, Captain," he replied swiftly. He knew what she wanted to do. They were going for the Cardassian vessel's critical systems, the most vulnerable spot just off its port bow.
"Prepare photon torpedo, Mr Rollins."
"Done, Captain."
"Fire!"
The next moment they watched as the Cardassian war ship was struck, careened to her port side before exploding.Tom smiled grimly as he brought Voyager to port again, gingerly bringing her through several more violent waves.
"Mr Kim, report!"
"Captain, I have the Liberty on our sensors now."
"Captain, there are seven Cardassian vessels approaching..." came Magnus Rollins' voice.
"Captain?"
"I thought there were only five..." Captain Janeway murmured.
"The one we hit must have been a decoy, Captain. I suggest we retreat - "
"No! We go in. Mr Kim, can you hail the Liberty?"
All Tom and the rest of the bridge crew could hear was static amidst the violent turbulence. His heart sank.
"Captain, I think - "
"Tom, bring us in closer to those vessels."
"Captain, they're too far from the Liberty still. The Liberty must have evaded them. They're on the other side, Captain."
"We get in, get out. That's the order. We have to get that crew to safety."
"They're waiting for us, Captain."
"I know."
"Captain, the Liberty has been hit. Her shields are down. That's odd. The ship should have been destroyed."
"Not so odd if they meant to play cat and mouse with it," Captain Janeway replied, her voice remarkably even, Tom thought. What were the Cardassians doing? Unless, he realised, and his heart raced madly at the thought, they were waiting for Voyager to arrive and Evek meant for them to witness the destruction of the Liberty and the death of its leader.
Hell, we're in hell. We've been ambushed.
Tom was very certain Kathryn Janeway felt the same. They were sitting ducks...
"Captain, we're being hailed by the Liberty..."
"On screen!"
The next moment, Chakotay's face filled the main viewscreen.
"Chakotay!"
****
Kathryn froze as she saw Chakotay's face. Blood oozed from his temple and his eyes were wild. Next to him, to his right, B'Elanna Torres looked towards them, and Kathryn noted idly in those few seconds in which time stood still, that there was a pleading in her eyes. When Chakotay spoke, his voice was hoarse and urgent.
"Kathryn, download all my files to Voyager - "
Hardly had he finished when Kathryn's hand went up and Harry Kim started downloading the files from the Liberty to her ready room.
"Done, Captain," Harry said.
"Listen," Chakotay said, "this is an ambush. I've managed to elude them for the last few days. Those war birds are aft of the Liberty."
"We know, Chakotay. Mr Rollins, arrange for the transport of the crew."
"Leave me here, Kathryn. They want me - "
"No, Chakotay. I'm under orders to get you. You're coming with us."
"They're waiting, Kathryn. In a moment the vessels will reappear. They've been playing cat and mouse with us. Go back. Take my crew, Kathryn."
Several of the Liberty's crew materialised on the bridge and Ayala ushered them quickly to the turboblift doors while two or three remained on the bridge. Kathryn felt the blood drain from her face. They looked bedraggled, some injured. The EMH was going to come online as she had predicted.
"Chakotay, we have your crew."
"I'm going to ram into one of the Cardassian vessels, Kathryn. Don't stop me. I'm buying you some time to get the other four...or to get away."
Then the screen went blank and Kathryn stared in speechless shock at the screen.
"Harry, the moment the Liberty hits that vessel, transport Captain Chakotay to Voyager - "
"But, Captain, he said - "
"Do it!"
"Aye, Captain!"
The Liberty approached the Cardassian vessel as Kathryn looked on, her heart pumping wildly. Right at the moment of impact, Chakotay appeared on the bridge of Voyager, standing right next to Kathryn.
"Chakotay, thank God, you're safe!"
Chakotay held her shoulders; for a few moments only they existed, and everything else receded.
"Kathryn," Chakotay said softly, his voice deep, a hoarse croak, "your vessel is surrounded. There are three more - "
"Captain, we're being hailed by the lead Cardassian vessel," Harry said quickly. Kathryn and Chakotay looked at the viewscreen.
"On screen."
The face of a Cardassian gul appeared on the screen. Chakotay whispered softly "Evek". Evek looked first at Chakotay, then at Kathryn.
"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation Starship Voyager - "
"I know who you are, Captain Janeway. My name is Gul Evek. Our torpedoes are locked on to your vessel. Voyager will be destroyed. Release the prisoners to us."
"I can't do that, Evek. In a few minutes your vessels will be destroyed by Federation ships entering this region right now - "
Chakotay leaned over to Kathryn and whispered, "He knows you're bluffing, Kathryn. Voyager will be destroyed."
"Chakotay, I'll do my best; I'm not giving in."
"Dammit, Kathryn!"
At that moment, the Vetar opened fire, followed by phaser blasts from three other vessels. Voyager careened, rocked, and by the time Tom managed to get on an even keel, consoles on the bridge exploded and the bulkheads to his left caved in on Andra Stadi. Tom, who had been thrown from his seat before settling the ship again, crawled to where she was lying. He gave a pained cry before looking at the Captain.
"She's dead..."
"Mr Rollins, report!"
"Hull breaches and damage on decks 9, 12 and 14, Captain. 37 seven injured and eight crew dead."
Kathryn's eyes closed as Chakotay held her up.
"Captain Janeway, you can see there is no way out for you. Release that infidel Chakotay and his crew, and we'll let you pass. He killed my comrades and Sub-commander Sedeka - "
"Kathryn, listen to him - "
"Captain, they're powering their weapons again," Magnus Rollins warned.
"Shields!"
Kathryn looked at the screen again, heard Tom say softly, "we're sitting ducks...". She prayed fervently that their back-up was only minutes away. Every single second counted. How the Federation vessels were going to make it into the Badlands... Her heart raced painfully. She couldn't lose her ship, couldn't lose Chakotay and his crew. She looked at the uncompromising, smirking Cardassian.
"Evek, I'm willing to negotiate. A few more minutes. It's all I ask. Just a few minutes."
Gul Evek sneered. Kathryn wanted to kill him. The smoke had settled and the bridge officers were back at their stations. Stadi's body had been beamed to sick bay. Kathryn glanced sideways at Chakotay and knew he wished that he had killed Evek when he had the opportunity. Evek had the upper hand. Her ship was already severely damaged. She could lose them all... She groaned. Eight crew dead...
"Captain, the Saratoga, Ohio and Serengeti are on their way," Tom whispered so that Evek couldn't hear.
"Thank God..." she said, breathing a heavy sigh of relief.
Then, her brief respite was interrupted by Evek's strident voice.
"In ten minutes, Captain Janeway, seven vessels will fire at Voyager if you do not release the prisoners."
Kathryn prayed by then that the Federation vessels had arrived. At least, with more fire power, they could disable the Cardassians with their photon torpedoes.
"Very well, Captain Janeway. You have only - "
"Wait!" Chakotay said as he raised his hand.
"What, the enlightened Chakotay asks me to wait? Why should I?"
"Spare my crew, Evek. They've done nothing but follow my orders."
"Exactly! The blood of my comrades is on their hands too."
"It's me you want, Evek, you know that. Only me, no one else."
Evek seemed to consider Chakotay's words for a moment. The next second, the screen went blank and Kathryn stared in agony at Chakotay. She gestured in the direction of the ready room, turning only once to speak with Eamon Daley.
"Commander, you have the bridge."
In the ready room Kathryn turned on Chakotay.
"You can't do that, Chakotay," she said urgently, all thought that she had missed him for two months suddenly gone. "You can't!"
Chakotay gripped Kathryn's shoulders and he shook her. "Kathryn, listen to me. He wants me. I'll barter for my crew, but they want me. Take them home, it's all I ask."
"Chakotay, please - "
"Kathryn, would you rather have Voyager destroyed with everyone on board?"
She closed her eyes at the prospect of that happening within the next few minutes.
"Our back-up is arriving, Chakotay. They're only ten minutes away - "
"Oh, God, Kathryn! It's too late!"
Chakotay pulled Kathryn to him, his grip on her shoulders tightening and his eyes filled with fire. Kathryn wanted to die. His face was bloodied, but he seemed unaware of the blood and the pain. She noticed absently that he limped a little and wondered whether he had injured his leg again. For a few moments Chakotay's eyes closed as the enormity of what he considered hit him, but Kathryn saw his pride, the courageous way of the warrior who fought to the very last for his people.
"My crew are good people, Kathryn. They don't deserve Cardassian prison camps. They don't deserve labour mines, they don't deserve punishment. I'm the one they're after; I'm the one Evek hates. Kathryn, I piloted the shuttle that killed Soren, his son. Don't you see? It's a personal score Evek wants to settle with me. I've outwitted and killed his best officer in the field and he wants his revenge. He'll not rest until he kills all of us. Why do you think he let me leave the Vetar that time when I was on it? Evek was biding his time. He was waiting for a moment like this one..."
"Where I could witness..." Kathryn breathed softly, her eyes burning. Chakotay nodded.
"But Kathryn, I can't do it at the cost of my crew and yours. While Evek's in a giving mood...while he will still spare Voyager, let me go."
"Chakotay! No!"
Kathryn gave a sob and threw herself in Chakotay's arms, knowing that time was running out for them. The Ohio, Serengeti and Saratoga would be ambushed like she had been, and then? Even if they were warned, more ships would be too late...too late... Those vessels would be destroyed with their crews and so would Voyager. She shivered violently. Chakotay held her as if he would never let her go, yet Kathryn felt how his body, too, shuddered. When he held her away from him, his eyes were deep pools of sorrow.
"I ask for nothing but that you save our crews, Kathryn."
"What about me then, Chakotay? What about me and Hannah? What about us?"
She couldn't cry, although her eyes burned with unshed tears. She knew what fate awaited Chakotay. She had seen so many Bajorans on Bajor, beaten to within an inch of their lives, enslaved, tortured, humiliated. Fine, fine people in whose eyes had shone only the grace of giving and the strength of sacrifice. She knew about the women of Dorvan V, about his father's torture and about Tomaso who was beheaded for trying to save his parents' lives. She knew about Cardassian prison camps, about pain and degradation. This was what Chakotay faced. He pleaded for her crew and his own; he pleaded for the Toms and B'Elannas and Dalbys and Henleys and Daleys and Rollinses. Chakotay asked for clemency for everyone but himself.
How could she not ask that question? How could she not? For a moment she was not Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the Federation Starship Voyager, Intrepid class. She was just a woman, his wife, and mother to their daughter.
What about us, Chakotay?
She knew how he would reply...
"Kathryn, my love, remember...remember the words of a great man who said that the needs of the many should outweigh the needs of the few, or the one..."
Spock.
"We are Starfleet officers, Kathryn, and right now, I will do what I must to save my beloved wife and child, but I will also do what I must to save my crew and yours."
She gave a deep sob, threw herself into his arms again and only then wept for a few pain-filled moments. When she stood back, she was calm, or, at least appeared to be. Gently, she cupped his cheek, wanting to cry as his eyes closed and he pressed his mouth into her palm. When he looked at her again, a strange calm had settled in him too.
Slowly, Kathryn pulled away her collar and pulled out the locket he had given her on their wedding day. It lay on her palm as she held it out to him and he took it with trembling fingers, opening it reverently. Kathryn gave a tired smile. Over Jaime's inscription rested now a photo of herself, and on the other side, where Hannah's name had been, a picture of their baby.
"Always, Kathryn, I will think of you," he said slowly after he put the locket round his own neck and tucked it under his shirt. "Always, thoughts of you and our daughter will keep me alive..."
She stood hands at her sides, knowing that the minute they stepped outside the ready room door, that it would be the last time she would see Chakotay.
"Promise me, Kathryn, you'll never cry. Promise me you'll find Winonah and make her our daughter. Promise to tell Hannah about her father..."
Kathryn nodded mutely. Then she turned; Chakotay followed her to the bridge where the senior officers of Voyager, as well as some of his senior crew waited.
*************
Tom Paris wanted to rise from his chair as he swiveled round when the Captain and Chakotay entered the bridge again. They had three minutes left, too little time to make any concerted effort at attacking the seven Cardassian vessels that surrounded them. Even with Chakotay's most sophisticated evasive maneuvers, they couldn't get out alive. He thought of Admiral James T. Kirk who, the only cadet in Starfleet's history who had succeeded in beating the Kobayashi Maru scenario. Now, they were in a similar situation. Only, this was not a simulation he could reprogramme to obtain his own desired outcome. It was a real, terrifyingly real no-win situation they were in, and the only way... Tom sighed as he saw the look on Captain Janeway's face. It was etched with worry and sorrow while Chakotay looked grim, unsmiling. Who could smile in this situation? In three minutes, all the Cardassian vessels would fire at will and they would be no more.
He prayed he wouldn't know what hit him. He prayed that in his last moments, there would be only white light and through that light, he'd see his parents and he'd see himself standing next to Freyne Detroit, his best friend, at water's edge, bouncing pebbles.
He prayed...
He prayed that Chakotay had a solution to beat the Kobayashi Maru. Tom saw them through a haze and he rose to his feet spontaneously as Chakotay approached him.
"Take them home safely, Tom," Chakotay said softly, then glanced at B'Elanna and back at Tom. "She's a handful, but take care of her for me, will you?" Tom nodded, but B'Elanna, sensing what was happening or going to happen, lunged forward and planted herself between Chakotay and Kathryn. Her eyes bore into Kathryn's.
"How can you let him do this? How? We all go down together, all of us. I am not afraid to die! What right - "
Then Chakotay grabbed B'Elanna by the shoulder and without looking at her, said calmly, "She's the Captain. Follow her commands, Torres."
"No!"
"B'Elanna," Tom began, trying to calm the angry woman, "you know about honour. You know about honour..."
B'Elanna turned to face him, her eyes distraught as she looked at Kathryn.
"C-captain?"
"It's an order, B'Elanna," Kathryn Janeway said heavily.
B'Elanna looked at Tom and he rose to his feet to stand next to her. She did not demur when he held her hand in his.
****************
Young Harry Kim stood at Ops. In his first posting, he was still a little afraid of Captain Janeway. She loomed so large that he stood constantly in awe of her; most times when he passed her in the corridor, he jerked to attention. The first day after he had come on board and was summoned to her ready room, he hadn't known how to address her, and kept calling her "Sir." While she didn't mind that, and told him that she accepted "Ma'am" in a pinch, he was ordered to call her Captain. He had been standing stiffly at attention until she told him to relax before he sprained something. He'd tried to relax, heaven knows. But when a Starfleet captain's reputation preceded her all over Starfleet Headquarters and the Academy, and when that Starfleet captain had a husband who was renowned for valour and distinction and who had a reputation for decking a comrade if he got angry - Harry had heard about the five Cardassians Chakotay had killed in a single swoop - how could he not stand in awe of her? He supposed he would feel the same in the presence of the enlightened Captain Jean-Luc Picard, but Harry didn’t have the same admiration for him as he did for Kathryn Janeway.’
Captain Janeway had told him how, almost three years ago when he'd played Mozart's Clarinet Concerto at a Command Performance for the President of the Federation, she and Captain Chakotay had gone to see his performance. He had been gratified when she told him that in a way, he'd brought them together.
He had heard so many stories about Captain Kathryn Janeway that when he applied for a commission in Starfleet, he requested that it be on any vessel which she commanded, even if he had to wait another year before he got assigned. He had been selected ahead of his best friend, Daniel Byrd, for a commission on board the USS Voyager and had been over the moon when he heard the news and told his fiancé Libby about it. And, he was even more gratified when the Captain told him she’d chosen him from many hopefuls.
Harry had heard about Captain Janeway's husband; he had just missed the class the year Commander Chakotay - he had been a Commander then - had taught Advanced Tactical Maneuvers to senior cadets. Now, for the first time, he saw Captain Janeway's husband up close. Chakotay looked rugged, manly, very warrior-like with the tattoo over his left eyebrow. He saw how close the Captain stood next to her husband; although they never touched, it seemed to him they didn’t need to. There was an indefinable connection, a bond anyone could see even in these final critical moments. Chakotay never looked at his wife, yet Harry was convinced that he saw her and was aware of her eyes on him. There was a calm about him that, in the dying moments of Voyager, was humbling. He knew that they had said their good-byes in the ready room. He knew that The Warrior, as he was known to every cadet trained by him, as well as every officer under his command, was going to sacrifice himself for the ship.
For Just a few seconds, the altercation between B'Elanna and Chakotay and the Captain disturbed the small cocoon of peace in which the whole bridge was wrapped. If they got out of here alive, he knew that for many years, there would be talk of this incident, and this day on which a man became more than a man.
It humbled him and for that, he would be prepared to lay down his own life.
*********
Magnus Rollins, Chief of Tactical and Security, stood passive at his station, yet inside him a torrent raged. He had known Kathryn Janeway for years, and had served with her on her two previous vessels. In private moments they were on a first name basis, and many times, when they had a few moments together in which they shared stories of family and life, she had told him about Chakotay. He had met Chakotay, and was one of the few officers on board Voyager to have befriended the husband of Kathryn Janeway.
She had been without Chakotay for a long time before their baby was born; he knew they had suffered together and come through a baptism of fire in which their union had been tested to the limit. He knew the sacrifice Chakotay was about to make, and even if Captain Janeway offered a thousand alternative solutions, Chakotay, once a Starfleet officer, would remind Kathryn Janeway that they were Starfleet officers and that risks and sacrifices were part of the job.
Part of the job...
The minute they came out of the ready room, Magnus nodded gravely to both of them as they looked first at him, then continued to walk until they stood just behind Tom Paris. Both stood with their hands at their sides, but to him, they might very well have embraced. That was how strong the bond was between them. It was as if touch and voice and feeling were unnecessary as invisible thread tied them together.
Who but the gods could be so cruel to separate them?
***
Commander Eamon Daley, first officer of Voyager, rose to his feet as the Captain and Chakotay appeared on the bridge again. He had known, from the moment they entered the ready room, that they were weighing Voyager's options and for a moment, a moment only, Eamon felt redundant. Chakotay appeared more like the first officer of Voyager as the Captain sought her own husband's thoughts on the fate of her vessel. Chakotay had just lost his own ship, and though to Eamon the Liberty looked like space junk, it was the vessel Chakotay and his crew had lived on and fighting daily to stay one step ahead of the Cardassians and the Federation. Now, amazingly if somewhat belatedly, the Federation had reconsidered their position on the Maquis. Some cells like Chakotay's group had been given special dispensation to act as para-military force for the Federation. He had already been in consultation with Captain Janeway about the fate of the Maquis on board Voyager, and he suspected strongly that some of them might be given field commissions.
Eamon watched as Captain Janeway and Chakotay stood on the bridge, ready to hail the lead Cardassian vessel under the command of Gul Evek. Although Kathryn Janeway never showed it, he had known how concerned she had been; many nights he could hear her in her quarters, unable to sleep. He remembered how much he'd been impressed by the Captain's husband when he'd met him during the Commander's visit to her vessel over a year ago. Granted, the Captain and Chakotay almost never left her quarters and were reported to have snuck to the holodecks in the dead of night, but it had done the Captain a world of good to have her husband visiting for a few days.
Always, the fates conspired to separate them. Now, in the no-win situation they found themselves in, even now, Commander Chakotay fought to save everyone's life but his own. He stood there, as fearless as he always looked, ready to face Gul Evek, a man who'd hunted him for a long time. Gul Evek would show no mercy as far as Chakotay was concerned.
No mercy.
That was the thing that worried him.
What fate lay in store for Captain Janeway's husband?
Eamon Daley didn't want to think about it. All he knew, was that a great man was willing to lay down his life, not for his wife and child, but for his crew and the crew of Voyager.
What love could be greater than that?
***
Kenneth Albrecht Dalby, who at one time had aspired to join the Academy, but instead followed a career in law enforcement, and B'Elanna Torres were the only two of the Liberty's crew who had been transported from their ship to the bridge of Voyager. Although he had never met Kathryn Janeway, he had communicated with her before when he sent her the co-ordinates of the probable places where she could help in the search for little Winonah. Seeing Kathryn Janeway on the bridge, he thought she was beautiful. His Celine was also beautiful but he had never seen such fire in one person as he had seen in the wife of Chakotay. For a brief moment Ken resented that she was alive and his Celine was dead, but he put that thought quickly out of his mind.
He had known Chakotay since they both joined the Maquis and had become his closest friend and right hand man on the Liberty. Here, in the flesh, he could see the bond even stronger than he had imagined. There was no doubt in his mind about what lay in store for Chakotay; even if he wanted to join his friend wherever they were to take him, he knew Chakotay would deck him and state coldly that Captain Janeway needed the expertise and service.
It would have been fruitless to go against Chakotay's wishes. The man looked uncompromising, set on what he was about to do. It wasn't heroics but a simple, humble conviction that he alone could save them all from certain death.
When he looked at the two of them standing together, hands at their sides, he knew that whatever happened from this point on, in heart and mind and soul, Chakotay and Kathryn Janeway would be together.
That was what it meant to be bonded for life as soul mates.
***************
Chakotay stared briefly at Kathryn. She hadn't touched him since they entered the bridge together and now, her heart felt heavy, so heavy that she had no thought, not yet, at least, of how, for the third time in her life with Chakotay, she would cope without him again. She knew instinctively that as a Starfleet officer she had to cope and put all manners of masks in place lest anyone see how she was bleeding.
She didn't want to think about whether she would ever see him again; she just knew the terrible loneliness that even now, as Gul Evek's face appeared on the screen again, settled like a cold, clammy, dark morning in her.
She gave a deep sigh and, briefly touching Chakotay's hand, felt his firmness; for a moment at least, she was bolstered by his courage.
Chakotay turned to face her.
This is it, my love, we are parting again.
You know I never wished for this to happen.
Take good care of my children for me, my love.
As best as I can; they will always remember you, Chakotay.
In my heart and mind, you will be there. Thoughts of you and Winonah and Hannah will keep me alive, I swear it, Kathryn.
I know that you will, Chakotay. That is why I can hope. I can hope that one day, you will be back, by my side...
Chakotay touched her cheek - a fleeting, feather light touch that ignored the pained stares of the others. His eyes closed at the softness of the touch. When he dropped his hand to his side again and opened his eyes, he nodded solemnly.
The next moment, Gul Evek's face appeared on the screen.
"Evek," Chakotay started, "you take me alone, or you kill all of us..."
Evek's face remained expressionless, unlike the sneering and smirking look he had earlier. He inclined his head, the only concession he made to Chakotay's demand.
"Remove your weapons, Chakotay," he ordered stiffly.
Slowly, Chakotay unclipped the phaser from his waist band and handed it to Kathryn. Then he removed his d'k tahg, resting it on his palm for a second before handing that over too.
"There is another weapon, Chakotay."
Without speaking, Chakotay bent down and unclipped the dagger and sheath that he had tied around the top band of his boot. When he straightened up, his mouth was tight, a thin white line around the edges as he complied.
"Good. Now transport yourself to the Vetar."
Chakotay turned to Kathryn and gave her an agonising look before he unclasped his site-to-site transporter. He entered a few codes, then looked at Kathryn again.
I love you...
The next moment, Chakotay was gone.
"Thank you, Captain Janeway."
Then the screen went blank again. For endless moments everyone around Kathryn stood still. Her hands shook as she held Chakotay's weapons. The silence on the bridge hung heavily in the air.
"Captain," Magnus Rollins's voice broke the heavy silence, "all seven Cardassian vessels have left."
Kathryn could only nod in acknowledgement. She turned slowly, giving a deep sigh as she sat down in her command chair, still holding the phaser and daggers. She looked around her, noting the expressions of her senior officers as well as B'Elanna and Ken Dalby. In a few minutes, when she could breathe again without feeling the excruciating pain that accompanied every breath, without hearing the sounds of a thousand cries in her head, she would order Eamon Daley to arrange quarters for the Maquis crew. She would request from Starfleet Command that she be allowed to give them field commissions and serve on her vessel. But all that for later. Right now...
They waited for her and very slowly she rose to her feet again, ready to give the next command. Her voice when she spoke, was clear, without a hint of a quaver about it. Her eyes remained fixed on the viewscreen - a blank, unfeeling, unsmiling, impersonal viewscreen that mocked her.
"Mr Paris, set a course...for home."
"Aye, Captain."
***
To follow: BOOK FIVE: POST TENEBRAS LUX