SUDDENLY LAST SUMMER Veronica Jane Williams xkhoi@iafrica.com Rating: PG-13 Disclaimer: Paramount owns everything. I have the yacht! This short piece was written in response to the ASC challenge: "Soothing Summer showers" SUMMARY: Chakotay and Tom have been together for a year, and now Tom has doubts about his relationship with Chakotay. SUDDENLY LAST SUMMER "Dammit Tom, we've been together since we returned. It's been a year. Now you want to end what we had?" Chakotay stood facing Tom and felt the ground seeming to give way under him. A cold hand gripped his heart, and he felt a shiver run down his spine. That in spite of the summer heat that was so cloying and humid. "It's not that I want to end it, you know that. But I need to think some things through. Like where I want to go with this..." He knew Tom meant their relationship. They stood on the promenade deck leading to a long jetty. On each side there were boats anchored, sleek little yachts that made his heart ache just looking at them. Tom longed to board his own which last summer, he named the *Sky Spirit.* Now she lay bobbing gently on the water, her bowsprit carrying the image of an eagle. He stared vacantly at the boat, then turned his eyes to Chakotay again. Chakotay looked angry. Tom could see the way his tattoo seemed to darken, the lines becoming more pronounced. He felt it in the way Chakotay looked at him, in the warrior's stance. He knew Chakotay was not ready to accept his decision. "Last summer changed everything for us, didn't it?" Chakotay said, looking at Tom with somewhat fevered eyes, and feeling suddenly a sense of loss. He heart gave a lurch as he looked at Tom, the sun causing his hair to shine, appear golden. He was so fair, so fair. A complete antithesis of Chakotay, and a glorious complement, the older man conceded. "Last summer was a new beginning for us, Chakotay," Tom replied resignedly. He still felt the occasional twinges of guilt at having broken up with B'Elanna, who surprisingly adopted a very philosophical air about his association with Chakotay after they returned to the Alpha Quadrant. He remembered B'Elanna's words. "There was always that chemistry between you and Chak, Tom, that a few of us noticed. Sometimes you were unable to mask it," she said last year when he had spoken with her. "To be honest, Tom, Voyager threw the two of us together, and we just grew too comfortable with that. I'm ready to move on. You are ready to move on. Don't feel guilty..." But he did. Not only because he closed a chapter with B'Elanna, but because he could at the time not reconcile his own feelings for the man who was his first officer. It was strange, it was alien, it was exciting. He knew he was free to explore new facets of his own sexuality, but it wasn't only that. It was the overwhelming caring he felt for Chakotay. Something like a deep love he had not felt even when he was with B'Elanna, took charge of him. It surprised him, and he could only think that those feelings had come to him quietly, insidiously, gradually. By the time they reached home, he knew he could not deny his feelings for the older man. He had tried valiantly to suppress what he felt but every time he looked at Chakotay he could see the reciprocal passion, the fire that smouldered under that tattoo, in his eyes, in they way he sometimes touched Tom. Just a touch, seemingly innocuous. Tom had contemplated the possibilities but needed some indication, some sign that Chakotay would respond in likewise manner. He felt a certain exhilaration just at the thought of running his hands down that hard body of his first officer, lacing his fingers in the black hair, tracing the tattoo with his tongue, and drown in the erotic sensations he knew it would elicit. He had wanted to feel their bodies touch, their legs entangled, use his hands and explore that body that he knew could respond and sing with passion. He knew he felt all those things and he had an idea that Chakotay, if he allowed himself, would welcome his ministrations. He had seen those black eyes light up whenever they passed in the corridors and their hands would inadvertently touch. That was just before they returned home. He sighed. Chakotay looked at Tom, thinking his heart would break. Tom wanted to end their relationship, he was sure of it. Perhaps he was ashamed now of having been so deeply involved with him, Chakotay. He felt the anger simmer in him again. He didn't want to lose Tom. The young pilot meant everything to him now. Before, on Voyager, they had been careful not to let their guards slip; both were in relationships that were waning, both acknowledged that it left them dissatisfied, with a sense of discontent which pervaded their previous associations. Then suddenly last summer everything changed. Tom had called him to crew on the *Sky Spirit*. He should have known then, the naming of the sleek yacht had some significance. He welcomed Tom's invitation, he had a whole month vacation after spending three months in deep space. Tom was piloting another ship, the Salamander and he had a few weeks to potter around on his yacht. It was all invitation Chakotay needed. He knew Tom wanted him as badly as he wanted Tom. He had grown hard with just the anticipation of meeting up with his former pilot. It was all they needed then as they lost themselves in their love and passion on hot steamy nights on the deck of the *Sky Spirit* as they sailed far out on the open sea. Bodies joining in frenzied haste in the beginning, then savouring their slow lovemaking afterwards. Heat and passion on those hot summer days. Always they would lie sated on the small deck on their backs looking at the sky at night and dream. Their hands would touch and their fingers laced, holding and drawing strength from their ever deepening feelings. It their own voyage of discovery. Chakotay closed his eyes as he remembered their mouths touching in searing kisses that would leave them breathless. Tom was passionate and virile and knew just where to touch him and send him senses reeling with desire. Nip his ear lobe, lick his tattoo, gently close his lips around the tip of his arousal. He would almost swoon with the delight of it. He had never experienced sex as shatteringly, overpoweringly erotic and blazing as he did with the man standing now in front of him; a man who suddenly had doubts about continuing what they had. "I love you, Tom. I can't imagine a day in my life without you. Even when I'm away from you, I think about you constantly," he started pleading now, his hands on the rails of the promenade deck. He felt the heat in his neck, the stickiness. It was another of those dog-days he relished: hot, steamy summer days with the heat cloying and one just wishing it would rain to cool off and stand in the rain, glorying in the way the water would run down your body. Like it had been last summer. On just such a day when they exploded into their first lovemaking. "I know, Chakotay, but - " "What can be the *but* here, Tom?" he asked angrily now, seeing the shadows play in Tom's face as he stood against the sun, throwing him in silhouette. Tom's eyes were so blue, and even now with the sun behind him they pierced him. "I'm not certain, Chak. I - I..." he paused as he saw Chakotay's expression and also the look of disappointment in his eyes. He didn't want Chakotay to feel like that, but he wanted to do this. Find out if this was really him. Whether this was what was his destiny, what he was made for. He had to go out and find if..." "What did we have last summer, Tom?" Tom looked at him and knew he could not deny what happened between them last year. Then it had been so easy, he was excited and wanted to explore his desire for Chakotay. It was wonderful, earth moving. Chakotay had hands he thought at times were soft and caring as a gentle lover, hands that were large and rough yet infinitely tender. And could those hands work wonders on his body... He closed his eyes in sudden remembrance. The he looked at his lover again. "Everything, Chakotay. Everything," he said finally. There were two spots of red on his cheeks as he said the words. Chakotay wondered absently whether Tom spoke in sudden anger, or whether he also remembered the fire, the companionship, the love... They were unaware of the large clouds that formed in this hot afternoon, and both looked up in surprise as the first drops starting falling. It was yet again one of those sudden summer showers that typified this almost tropical region. It would be over as suddenly as it started, he knew. Within seconds they were both drenched, yet they stood there on the promenade deck, allowing the rain to soak through their clothing, both unwilling to make a move. Chakotay stood, his black hair now plastered against his forehead, looking at Tom, while Tom, equally soaked just stared at the way Chakotay's shirt clung to him, showing the already hardening nipples, the rise of his pectorals. The fabric clung to his arms, showing his bulging biceps, the muscles so well toned that he remembered days when he... Tom uttered a soft, small cry of pain at the sight of his lover. Tom's eyes traveled down to the crotch, the loose fitting trousers Chakotay was wearing exposing his bulge and he watched in fascination as he the hardening, the bulge straining... He swallowed, once, twice. Chakotay looked at him, his eyes suddenly gleaming. The rain poured down on them but they were oblivious to the cooling shower of the late afternoon. Chakotay knew that Tom would make a decision. He had seen a new kind of resolve in Tom's eyes. He was as fascinated to see Tom's eyes smoulder, the lips part so that the rain drops dripped from them, his breathing becoming shallow. He watched Tom's Adam's Apple move, knew he wanted to say something. But Chakotay spoke first. "Tom, I can't change what I am or what I feel for you. I want to remain a factor in your equation - " , he realised with a sense of wonderment as he looked at Chakotay and felt how his heart lifted. The heaviness was gone, taking with the cooling of the summer shower. , he thought as he felt a great peace come over him. "Chakotay..." he groaned as he stepped forward and held his lover's head cupped between his hands. Tom stood close to him to let Chakotay feel his own hard arousal. He heard the older man groan, and brushed his lips warmly against Chakotay's. He felt the fire flare and his own painful erection straining. "I love you... I was a fool to think I could change... be different..." "Yes..." "Come, let's go," Tom said, his voice suddenly lighter, excited, the pain and anger dissipated. Mindless of the pouring rain, they walked leisurely hand on shoulder to the *Sky Spirit*. Tom's mouth would press against Chakotay's hand where it rested on his shoulder. There was anticipation in their eyes yet they knew they wanted to savour every second as they made their way to the boat. They looked and touched. The cooling shower was a balm, something that cleansed them, renewed Tom's faith that he had something he didn't want to throw away, ever. The moment they were on the open sea they dropped anchor and went down into the cabin. "Make love to me, Tom..." Chakotay pleaded as they peeled off each other's soaked clothes. "Soon, my love," Tom whispered hoarsely through kisses and touching. "Soon." "Yes..." came Chakotay's gruff response as his own mouth sought out the old familiar pleasure spots of his lover's body. end