Plan A

America : We planned to take over America, the government isn't working and the people are not happy.

After a closer look at this plan:

We decided it would be impossible to take on the largest, most powerful country in the world first. We must start smaller.

Plan B

We learned of a place called the Neutral Zone (seriously -- not a Star Trek reference) located between Iraq and Saudi Arabia. It was a patch of desert owned by no one. No one lived there. It was little less than a desert. It would be an easy conquest.

After a closer look:

By our operatives in the field (Tony Schaefer), we discovered that it was too hot and too far away for us to go just to die in the desert; we could die in the desert in the good ol USA for $66 via Greyhound.

Plan C

Canada. Basically we just changed out minds.

Plan D

Destroy the entire earth.

This has not been ruled out.

We skipped Plan E & F

Out of fear of those two letters.

Plans G & H

We're in mid-discussion about these plans.