In a message received by TDMDOTPBM Enterprises, Inc. Feb. 2003:
CURRENT PROJECTS
I am currently hiding from many people in my undisclosed super-top-secret location I will henceforth dub "Jecatur Hill-in-oids." I am hiding
for many reasons:
REASON 1: The Military is pursuing my skills as an undercover
"boxman". I can pretend to be a cardboard box while inside a cardboard box
like no other. I had a box for Oranges, a Dell computer box, and
various others that I cannot disclose at this time. I gave up my boxman
duties a little over a year ago and if the ARMY wants me it will have to
be sans-boxes as I have developed a great fear of enclosed dark spaces.
Maybe I could be the "glass box man", but that would probably break the
supply room budget.
REASON 2: I owe Mrs. Pendergrast 5 dollars cause I took her 5 dollars
in advance and never mowed her lawn. 15 years and counting bitch! You'll never find me!!
REASON 3: Mr. Plajer, our old high school custodian, is still actively
pursing me to join his cult. Word is all they do is sit around eating
bean burritos, swapping tips on how to get that ring around the toliet to
go away. (Apparently Wiquid Pwummuh is the best)
REASON 4: I am still playing a game of hide and seek that no one
officially ended at my 11th birthday party. Yo, Vinny! You give up yet?
REASON 5: There is no sight of free range cattle where I am now, and
that's how I would like it to stay.
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