Jan
The "REAL" Me?

Name: Jan Miller

Address: a small town in Missouri

Children: Michael & Anna

Pets: Juanita, my trustworthy and loyal chihuahua, Taco, the pyscho chihuahua, Lacey the pug and our newest addition, Glory - a min pin!

Hmmm.... I'm not sure what I want to put on this page. I wear my emotions on my sleeves and yet there is a much deeper side to me that very few people have even seen. Only a couple of people know things about me that no one else does.... Even though others know me and somewhat understand me, there is still a much deeper side to me that they are not aware of.

I keep myself occupied with the net, volunteering with the Boy Scouts of America, Michael, & camping. In my spare time, I go to estate auctions, garage sales, antique stores, and I'm now sewing a lot.

I use my sense of humor to get me out of most situations. Makes it handy when I want to take a dig at someone and they *think* I'm joking around. Of course, my humor has gotten me into some pretty deep water before.....
I also laugh when I get nervous so the trips to the principal's office were made worse when I would giggle or chuckle.... heh.

I have a horrid fear of birds. Can't explain, just do.

I'm currently in "retirement". After having an unexpected and shocking heart bypass surgery last year, I decided that it was time to slow down in my life. 'Sold the house in Houston and have moved to a small town in Missouri that I grew up in. I am readjusting to the slower pace of life, less crowds, and less traffic quite well ;) I am once again attending church and reacquainting myself with old friends. I will be moving into my "new" house in September. My daughter made some really bad choices with her life and is now in the process of trying to rectify that. She was almost there until a couple of months ago. I will give her constant emotional support & advice when asked - but I will not finacially support her. She gave all of that up when she crawled out the bedroom window and left with the bastard she called her boyfriend. I am a believer in "tough love" - even though I also believe it's tougher on the parents than it is on the child. She has improved greatly these past few months & I'm very proud of her for that.... but I still refuse to let my guard down. It's a matter of survival - she can put me in my grave faster than anyone else in this world. A small amount of information on what family and friends can expect and do for those loved ones that have depression.

She found out last month that she is pregnant. *sais*
At this time, she is going to put the baby up for adoption and I will be adopting him/her. At least she and the father realize that they are not in any kind of position to raise a child right now. This is not what I had in mind for my "retirement" years, but I will take the baby with open arms and a loving heart. We predict the baby to be a girl... Katherine Marie (Katie) but if we're surpirsed and it's a boy, his name will be Steven Zachary (Zach) :)
I've been sewing for the baby - crib sheets, blankets, bibs, burp pads, gowns, and all-in-one diapers. I have also been searching sales and bargains and have so far accumulated all of the baby "equipment" that I'm going to need right away. At least this child will be raised in a small town atmosphere and will have many luxuries that I couldn't really afford when my kids were young. The baby is due February 5, 2002.

My son is as close to a perfect child as one can become. He has a gentle spirit, is polite to others, considerate, trustworthy (except when it comes to invading my computer), compassionate, and humorous. He is a Boy Scout Eagle and is the prime example of what reaching this rank is all about. He is attending college now and lives at home. I think the only serious flaw that he has is that he loves birds.... O.o

I'll know about myself after a few sessions with the therapist.

To be continued.......


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