Homer Quotes

PREAMBLE: This page does not have any legal rights over Homer J. Simpson. It is only here for the enjoyment of all the children of the world. "The Simpsons" are TM and © 1997 Twentieth Century Fox Film Corporation. All rights reserved. And now on to the good stuff.

Homer: What am I going to do with 1000 angle ash trays?
Bart: I could take up smoking.
Homer: You damn well better.

Homer: Alright Brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you. But lets just do this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.

Homer: Ah, beer, my one weakness. My Achille's heel, if you will.

Homer: America's health care system is second only to Japan... Canada, Sweden, Great Britain... well, all of Europe. But you can thank your lucky stars we don't live in Paraguay!

Homer: Dear Baby, Welcome to Dumpsville. Population: You.

Homer: Dear Homer, IOU one emergency donut. Signed Homer. Bastard! He's always one step ahead.

Homer: Do you want to change your name to Homer, Jr.? The kids can call you Hoju!

Homer: Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time, just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow! Well, good night.

Homer: Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

Homer: Here's to alcohol: The source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

Homer: If something is to hard to do, then it's not worth doing. You just stick that guitar in the closet next to your shortwave radio, your karate outfit and your unicycle and we'll go inside and watch TV.




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