Misc. Poems
By Elizabeta

3/6/02
worlds slip by like sand in the hourglass of time through my fingers through my hands the earth shifts from where I stand always changing rearranging no one can understand why I cling why I cry when part of the world around me dies

The Wanderer
April 1, 2002

I have nothing in common with huamnity
I'm alien from a distant planet
so far away
so far away from earth ideas thoughts
ways
the wanderer on the street
always wondering
never satisfied always moving
a move from one part of the galaxy to the next
strings of dirt and fallen leaves
can never hold back a restless heart
tomorrow, today
maybe I'll find a home
and sing - with flowing words thoughts
ideas
all day and all night long

June 22, 2002
sometimes I wonder about you
the ringing phone
the fact you're never home
or are you?
in your room, dimmed with blinds
the stereo going through
your ears, through your mind
and you hide
from the ringing
trying to drown it out with singing
on the radio oh so low
if this was true
I haven't the time to spy on you
to find out
I guess I obsess I must confess
but I fear you think
I am one to avoid
but then again
I could just be paranoid

Summer/Fallish 2002
Everything is a double-entendre. Everything has a second meaning. We have doomed ourselves to silence because our minds are filled with filth. Is there no innocence? Is there no purity? Every word that comes out of our lips is wadded up in the mind of the listener and thrown into the trashcan. What use is it to talk? What use is it to speak? We are all in the gutter and sling each other with mud, all the while thinking we are something special: witty or clever or daring or sanctimonious or holy.

Shadow
September 11, 2002

I am a shadow
I go where you go
I do what you do
but you don't want me
to follow you
So I stand
alone, a pillar
to the outside
the outside from which I am looking in
on your world, on your ways
I'm a dark shadow on the world today
when the light comes I fade
Alone again another day....

9.28.02
There was an feeling in the air, that of timelessness. It could have been spring, winter or summer, but it was only fall, with a few elements of the other seasons.
In my mind, I went back to pictures of the snow covered hills and the long back porch, and blue sweatshirts with puffy white snowflakes. Multicolored acrylic sweaters and toy cars on the picnic table under the willow, and the golf course on the side of the hill.
I wore a red cape and danced down the hill, covered with daphodils and tulips. There was a chill in the air but the warm sun shown down. It was semiearlymorning and I was waiting..
The woods were big, and the stream little. I played in the stream as the water musically trickled over the smooth pebbles.
I want to dance, I want to sing. This seems different from the yearning, the longing, to bring the past alive. I woke up this afternoon happy and energized. I don't know why. It's a feeling in the air.

A New Hope
Winter 2002

Today when I got up
my feet felt like they were on a cloud
and I thought I might fall
Then I heard the news
and somehow I felt happy
and I was flying like the butterflies
in my stomach that make me shake
like a leaf in an earthquake
A realization, a new hope
I hope, I hope
that things will be better now
that you'll be happy now
Peace, peace - does it exist
Could it be real - in a sense only, though,
I suppose
Oh, I hope, I hope, I do
Anything to appease the beast
in you

Superhero
December 21, 2002

You were a superhero
I was just a zero
I always wanted to be like you
Flying up in the sky so blue

Superheroes have the coolest clothes
Colorful capes and spandex hose
I spent hours trying to find something to wear
But you never noticed, you never cared

I always felt like the jolly green jerk
You starred in the comic, I did all the work
You were the brains and I was the brawn
You were the genius and I was the blonde

But I always wondered why when you couldn't be seen
You would have chats with Goblins of Green
And you'd talk with the Joker for hours at a time
While Lex Luther sent you flowers and bottles of wine

One day I discovered
You were a villain undercover
Caught you sending Superman kryptonite
In a present to be delivered on Christmas night

You beat me up and flew into the sky
You left me for dead but I survived
I got back up and then hobbled home
I guess I was always destined to be alone

I tried to save the world from your evil plans
But everyone laughed so hard they couldn't stand
For I was the sidekick, the comic relief
The guy who runs around in funny little briefs

They thought I was stupid, they thought I was dumb
But they ran in horror when you zapped your laser gun
I thought you were my friend, now we're all your slaves
And we're living on Pluto cuz there's no more world to save

Silent Pen
January 17, 2003

Sometimes I wish I'd just disappear
I can't write
I can barely think
I sit down
the words don't come
like they used to
My mind wanters to other things
Each day I live
trying to get through
to the next
It's the same thing every week
and I wish I was someone else
in someone else's bdoy
I wsih I was little again
when the world was perfect and everything was safe
I think we all wish that
now

If I Were A Robot...
February 6, 2003

Sometimes I hate my life
I can't do anything right

I've always wished I were a robot
Then I could do what everyone told me to do
With a smile and a grin and a cheerful attitude

And I'd never have to fight against myself
An unmovable object full of illogical reasons
Why I can't do this, or why I can't do that
Why I don't feel like talking today,
Or why I wish the world would go away

Fear or laziness?
Eccentricity or craziness?
I'm a rock, I'm a stick
I'm a load full of bricks
I can't be moved, I can't be swayed
I want to sit around all day
I don't want to play, I don't want to walk,
I don't want to move, I don't want to talk
I have no sense of humour, I can't play games
Because I'm too busy finding someone to blame

Am I destroying my own life?
Maybe I already did some time ago.
My personality killed it; it's buried in the ground
The day it died not a mourner could be found

I wish I were programmed to do the right thing

If I were a robot I would be better
I'd quickly write back when I got a letter
I'd always be friendly; I'd always be nice
My circuits made of sugar, with a little bit of spice
And in the mornings when I feel like killing someone
I'd spread love and cheer like the rays of the sun
I'd be a perfect portrait of sweetness and light
Spreading around the world like some sort of blight
If I were a robot, my house would be so clean
That it should be illegal; it's definitely obscene

They say no one's perfect, but I'd be a scientific wonder
Never making a mistake, nor a social blunder
Programmed to have my life's plans down pat
My future before me like some sort of map
A dynamic businesswoman who's a multi-millionaire
Kind of like Barbie, except with brown hair

But I'm not a robot. I'm just me.
A horrible fate, a tragedy
I wish I could improve, somehow, some way
But I'll always be me 'til my dying days.

The Winter
Febuary 2002
The winter cold and dark
Weighs heavy on my heart
Like the ice frozen to the trees
Growing where there once were leaves

The Appalachian Tragedy Rap
Late Springish
Took a walk in the woods but the woods weren't there
Destroyed by the polution in the air
Years of "progress" took its toll...
Years of burnin' sulfur coal.

Silently Sizzling
March 23, 2003
A puff of smoke
curls out of the top of the volcano
The only idnciation it's not
just another mountain
Seemingly dormat
but fire bubbles from within
Soon it will unleash its fury
upon everything in its path
Especially one stinkweed in particular
whose name is [....]

Borrowing Hell
4.1.03

A day, filled with darkness
That doesn't exist.
A trap, horrible and brutal
Yet hard to resist.
Trapped in a prison,
Deep inside my head
Sometimes I can't tell
If I'm living, dying or dead

The cruelest question in the world is "What If"
The cruelest state of mind is uncertainty
About the future, fate and destiny
What's in store for me?
Happiness and health or tragedy?

A million possibilities go through my mind
A million horrible things I find
To think about, to obsess
While lying in bed, trying to get some rest

Doubt is a cruel master
With grueling demands
Sometimes I wish
You'd just take me by the hand
But I can't trust the
One I need to trust
And it's tearing me up from the inside out

Upon every head some rain must fall
But in the end, will I have started it all?

Crossroads
April 28, 2003

Standing at a crossroads
with many places to go
Paths to take
decisions to make
I used to think
I could read my life like a book
Full of cliches and happy endings
but reality never has an ending
only a continuing
to a new chapter

Gossip
Springish 2003

talked too much
ran it into the ground
now I'm going to drown
in conflicting opinions and negative thoughts
trouble -- I've bought
accidentally, I just wanted to talk
about others, and their ways
what they do every day
to gossip. I've slipped. did a social flip
a boo-boo, a faux pas
the last straw
on the camel's back. I don't know
who I should trust, but I must
even though
everyone is a liar, a backstabber or a cheat
they use and abuse but act so sweet
my mind is no longer my own
for in it the opinions of others have found a home!

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