No Place Like Home
By: Shaz
April 21, 2000
Oops! I did it again,
I scared my best friend,
I put conspiracies in her head
now she's under the bed,
trying to hide.....
from the agents outside.
They're knocking on the front door,
She's not gonna take this any more,
So she blew up some Feds,
and they're all dead....
She's not that innocent!
Now she's on the run
Public Enemy #1,
Face is on the 8 o'clock news,
So what's she gonna do?
She's changed her name to avoid the blame,
She moved outta state before it was too late.
She's safe from the Feds,
terrified of aliens instead.
They come out at night,
and chase her with a bright light.
She gets away,
but one follows her home the next day,
then a black car showed up, and put her in handcuffs.
She goes to jail, tomorrows the trial,
then next week she'll be on the X-Files.
After the show she was gonna go home,
then she saw Mothman, he used to be her boyfriend.
She needed a new gig, so she went on tour with PET THE PIG,
she fell in love with Ed. "I'm gonna marry you!" she
said.
So they tied the knot, now 2 wives he's got.
She left the band to go find a new man.
And the man she found was under the bed.
His name is Mr. Boogie and he puts nightmares in your head.
So she had all these dreams where she was a king,
she owned a pot of gold, and always wore green.
Her wife was the Tooth Fairy,
Rudolph was their pet bunny,
he liked to color eggs
and thought chocolate was yummy.
Their son's name is Chris.
He's a mean little brat - he steals everyones'
presents and never gives them back.
The end of the dream is always the same,
a woman on a broom flies in to give
their "beautiful" baby a name.
The Boogie Man thought she was boring,
so he kicked her out, she went back to her first home
and wondered what everyone was talking about.
Then, she woke up in the middle of a big crowd,
"She's under the bed!" they all screamed quite loud.
"So....it was all just a dream??
But, you all were there!! I met you on this weird yellow road....
but, I guess there's no place like home."