Victim of Adolescence
By Elizabeta
October 11, 1997
When I look at you
I see a teenage girl
Almost an adult...you act like one
When I look at myself
I see a lost little girl
Trying to find herself
We used to be so young
It seems like yesterday
We grew up in a world of
Pink flowery dreams
And we thought of the future
While playing with our dolls
We used to go to each other's houses
Practically every day in the summer
And we couldn't wait for school to get out
So that we could play once again
We'd play hide and seek and sardines
We'd try to hide from your annoying brother
And try to play pranks on him
Without getting told on
We feared the nights
When the full moon was shining
For that was when the monsters prowled
Every unexpected noise
Was strange and mysterious
We'd try to see what it was
And tell ourselves it was just a cat
Neither of us really believed it though
And if we heard it again
Our adventurous attitude would fly away
And we would run for dear life
And the warm safety of the house
Saturday morning meant cartoons
And getting up early just to watch them
You don't seem to like cartoons anymore
You'd prefer to sleep late
I still love them though
You'd complain about how you didn't want to go to school Monday
Instead of how many hours till 7:00
That's when your boyfriend comes over
I don't see what you see in him
A toilet seat would look better
You lecture on his eternal cuteness
And how great he is
You're all over him until you meet someone you like better
Your policy is "Love them and leave
them"
Isn't there more to love than just a weekly fling
And all this pretense and the shallow lovey doveyness
You judge your boyfriends by the way they look
What clothes they wear
Personality is optional
But if they don't agree with you
They're outta here
I thought that true love was real
But then I have never fallen in love before
You can't understand why I don't ask every guy I see out
Why can't you understand that I am waiting for the right guy
I have never met him yet
But I will know him when I see him
I can wait...forever maybe
True love takes time
I guess the wolf at the door
Got bored and left
Watching you put on your makeup
I never liked makeup
It made me feel funny
Like I was hiding something
Under a veil of blush
And maybe I am hiding something
Although I never wear any
My confusion
My hurt
My boredom
All hide behind this smile
And this laugh
I absentmindedly agree to what you say
You seem to go on for hours
About nothing at all
I'm not listening to half of what you say
I feel so guilty
So empty
So lonely
You say "Friends Forever"
But if I disagreed with you for once
Would you still want to be friends
You are becoming just like the snobs
The ones you said you hated when you were younger
And vowed to never be like them
I guess you have a short term memory
I wish you would bring out your dolls
I wish you would want to play again
I wish you weren't like every other teenager
The wolf at the door
Still stops at my doorstep
At least in my dreams
And I swear something ran by
In the shadows
Oh, those are alive too
But I never can tell you
About the monsters in the closet
Because then you'd laugh at me
I believe that there is life out there
Beyond the high schools
And the never ending crowds
And the city we live in
And maybe perhaps the planet
I'd much rather prefer
To wonder if there was life on other worlds
Instead of wondering if there was
Some cute boy to date
I still daydream
Instead of thinking nothing at all
An empty void in my head
Scares me
And the never ending silence
Is just too much to bear
But I guess that you don't mind it at all
I feel so different and alone
I see things that no one else can see
I feel things that no one else can feel
Maybe because I am stupid
Maybe because I am crazy
Maybe because I can't tell the difference anymore
Maybe because I want to find the truth
And maybe because I want to believe
When I look at you
I see a teenage girl
Almost an adult...you act like one
When I look at myself
I see a lost little girl
Trying to find herself
When I look at us
I see our friendship fading
Getting old and stale
When I look at us
I can see that we have nothing in common
I can see us drifting apart
Drifting apart....