Chromium Man is the defender of Truth, Justice, And the American way of getting things done without actually having to work. Secretly disguised as mild mannered Lance Ulick, night manager at Fat Wongs Noodle House, he springs into action when duty calls. Along with his trusty cohort, Creatine Boy, also known as Bud Aloha, Surfer Dude with an attitiude, they fight power hungry villians and others who are starved for attention, usualy on their lunch hour. Armed with the his plaid jacket of secrets, Chromium Man employs his superpowerof X-Ray vision through clear glass when needed, and thwarts evil do-ers when time permits. Only the power of milk, his one life draining weakness, can defeat Chromium Man from saving the world from itself!

A warm afternoon, Bud Aloha, surfer dude with an attitude, sits eagerly in front of his two carne asada tacos.

He reaches for one, but before he can grab it, a voice calls to him.

"I'll be having those tacos, Creatine Boy!'

A redhead sits down across from Bud Aloha.

They stare at each other.

"Well, Well, Well, if it isn't Penny Protien."

"I'm impressed Aloha. How did you know?"

"Well, Molly Malnutrition in in the slam upstate, so I just figured....."

"And you were right. But I will be finishing those tacos, and there is nothing you can do about it."

"Well, if you must know, I can eat faster than any man on the planet!"

Penny smiles.

"If you had not noticed....... I am not a man!"

Now, Bud Aloha is worried, not realizing the chink in his superpower.

"Wait, this isn't right, you....."

"Sorry, Aloha means goodbye as well. No one can stop me now!"

Maniacle laughter from Penny.

She reaches for the tacos.

"Hold it right there, missy!" A new voice booms.

"Chromium Man!" Penny cries

"Chromium Man!" Pedro behind the counter cries.

"Whats up, dude?" says Bud, flashing a Hang Loose at our Hero.

In the doorway, stand Chromium Man, defender of justice and maker of brownies. In the disguise as Lance Ulick, night manager of Fat Wongs Noodle House, he is instantly changed into superhero, Chromium Man, the man, the myth.

"Your taco stealing days are over, Penny Protien!"

"You cannot stop me Chromium Man! Its too Late!"

Penny reaches!

"Wait! I wouldn't do that if I were you!"

From his plaid jacket, Chromium Man produces the device to stop Penny Protien.

"Not that, anythign but that!"

In Chromium Mans hand is a small yellow plastic container of lemon juice with the little green cap.

"You know lemon juice negates all effects of protien, dont you. Now back away, you've lost!"

"Not quite yet!" Penny moves into action.

Taking the cup from the person sitting at the table next to her, she throws the contents at our Hero.

"Hey! Thats my coconut milkshake!"

Chromium Man dodges, but is clipped in the shoulder by the life draining substance. Falling to the ground, the lemon juice container flys into the air.

Thinking quickly, Bud Aloha swings into action. Leaping onto his chair, he does a one footed toe over, reaching the yellow lemon, twisting the cap off as he does a 270 on one leg of the chair, he turns to douse the tacos in the liquid.

"NOOOOOOOO!" screams Penny "Thats not fair! I was so close...." falling to the floor sobbing.

Chromium man, trying to regain his stance, sees her rise and walk to him.

"You have beaten this time Chromium Man. But we will meet again. and next time, you won't be so lucky!"

"As long as you are out there Penny, Chromium Man will be out there too!"

"Say Lance, how come we have never hooked up?" she asks quizzically.

"Girlie, how do you know my secret identity?"

You're in the book silly, under superhero. And it isn't like you wear a a mask or anything, HELLO? Some secret identity."

Bending over to him, leaning close.

"I bet if we put our minds together, we could make quite a pair. Do you there is a chance Lance?"

"In a world of strife, a world where wars are fought every day, a world where you can get frozen banana guacamole at 2:30 A.M?"

Penny smiles hopefully.

"Not on my watch, sister."

Not saying a word, Penny leans close, and licks the coconut milkshake off Chromium Mans chest.

"Hmm, pretty tasty for a superhero."

And she is gone.

His strength returning, Chromium Man rises.

"Well, Bud, with the evidence we have, the police can pick her up in no time."

"UUUUURRRRPPPPP!"

"Sorry, dude, I was starved."

"Bud, you ate the evidence? It couldnt have been more than 30 seconds!"

"Bro, you gotta excersize the superpowers or they go away. anyway, how did you know I was in trouble?"

"That was the easy part. As I drove up for my mango shrimp quesadilla, and using my X-ra vision, I looked through the glass and noticed you sitting with a redhead, and knowing your penchant for blondes, I figured you were in trouble. and I know that Molly Malnutrition is in the slam upstate, so I decided that it was Penny Protien. and the rest, as they say, is Kismet!"

"But where did you get a plastic lemon?"

"That lesson is 'You can never be too prepared.'"

"Ok, dude. Say, why dont we go catch a tube or two, I hear its kinda blown, but there could be something."

"Thanks anyway, Bud, but I have work to do."

"Hey, then I'll come with you."

"Sorry Bud, some things I must do alone."

"Like what?"

Placing his fist on his hips, turning his head up and to the side, puffing out his chest he speaks.

"I must go pick up my laundry."

They laugh and walk away.

"You know Lance...."

"Whats that, Amigo?"

"I think that Penny has a thing for me."

*********************************************

Pedro from behind the counter comes in front of the counter, and starts to clean up the mess. Picking up the plastic yellow lemon, he gives it a whiff, and starts laughing hystericaly.

"Whats so funny Pee-dro?"say Earl at the bar.

"That Chromium Man, " still laughing. "He is somthgin else!"

"What do ya mean?

"This ain't lemon juice at all? In fact, if she had eaten those tacos, she may have taken over the world!"

"Well, geez, Pee-dro, what is it?"

"Smells to me like 100 per cent vodka. Pure protien!"

"Well, I'll be dipped," says Earl, grinning "That was one heck of a bluff!"

"Yes, amigo, thats why the put super in superhero."

Silence.

"Say Pee-dro, why dont you fix me a martini," pointing at the plastic container, "Extra lemon"

Laughter ensues.