"Lara! Lara," my mother shrieked piercingly. I cursed softly. Foiled again. I put the object in my hand down and looked in the mirror. "Lara, come down here now!" Her voice rose sharply. I walked out of the bathroom and slammed the door behind me.

I slowly walked down the stairs. Mother appeared right in front of me. "Hurry up, you lazy slut!" Me? A slut? Well, that's almost an example of pot calling kettle. That's certainly my mother but not me. "Get your rail in the kitchen. NOW!" I walked past her, following her orders.

I sat down at my spot at the table and stared at my plate. A slow smile crossed my face.

The plate crashed to the floor. I bent to pick up the pieces before Mother became coherent enough to tell me to. One of the larger shards of broken pottery slipped in my fingers and came down on my wrists. Crimson fluid slowly welled...

"Lara! Pay attention," Mother shrieked. I looked up from my completely, disappointingly, whole wrists. "You will come home right after school. If the house isn't spotless when I get home you will regret it!" A secret smile crossed her face. Oh yes. I knew what she meant, the belt and the closet. I knew I'd meet the closet anyway and I met the belt often enough as is. I also knew she meant for me to destroy all traces of myself in the house. Ah, the joys of slavery.

"Do you understand me?" she shrilled. I nodded at her, while staring at the plate glass window behind her.

I stood up and looked at it consideringly. I walked through it, glass shattered and sprayed. It came down like a hot knife and I felt something warm trickle down my face...

Mother slapped me. "Get to school," she said coldly. There was an unspoken fool at the end. I got up, picked up my backpack, and went out the front door.

"Lara? Do you want to join the art crowd or something?"

"No, why?" I mumbled only half listening.

"Because you always dress in black now, and..."

The gun gleamed coldly on the table top. I put my hand on its icy surface, caressed it. It fit my hand to perfection. I picked the gun up. Mouth or temple? Mouth or temple? I held the gun to my forehead and pulled the trigger. The explosion echoed...

"...always look so morose. You used to be so happy when you weren't at home, Lara. What's happened? What's wrong?" Kelli's voice flowed like a waterfall.

"Nothing," I muttered.

"You never eat..." Sharyn started, as a thug in chains walked by. They clattered like manacles in a jail.

The chains hung from the ceiling, liquid silver in the dim light. They chimed invitingly. I stood on a chair and tied them into a noose. I placed them around my neck, stepped off the chair, and kicked it over at the same time. My air was cut off and the light dimmed further...

"What are you trying to do? Kill yourself with Anorexia?"

"No, of course not. I eat plenty at home. I've just forgotten my lunch."

"That's the most you've said all day." Kathryn was sarcastic.

"Please clean your tables of trash and go to class," the PA system announced. I stood up.

"Bye." I walked off. I started to climb three flights of stairs to get to Government.

I stood at the top of the stairs. They were steep enough, barely. Using my backpack's weight I flung myself down them. My neck snapped...

"Please open your books to page 380," Mrs. Hursking said. The bell rang ending school, stopping whatever was on pagae 380 cold. Where had the period gone?

I started to leave. "Lara? Would you stay a moment please?" Mrs. Hurskin called. I turned around and stood before her desk.

"Lara, your grades have been slipping badly," she began, "and all of the teachers are worried about you..."

The razor gleamed in the bathroom's bright lights. I bared my arms to the elbow. I held the razor to my left arm. I started at my elbow and slit my arm down to my wrist; and at my wrist I slit it into a T. I was taking no chances. With every beat of my heart my life welled away...

"We're going to recommend to your mother that she send you to a psychiatrist."

Mother was going to get a kick out of this. The things I could tell about her. But I won't. It would just lead to more time in the closet, or with some of her special friends. She after me to earn my keep.

"Lara? Are you all right?"

"Yes, Mrs. Hurskin. May I go now?"

"Yes. I'll be calling your mother tonight." I walked out of the room and towards the stairwell. One of the windows was open.

I climbed out onto the ledge and stared down at the ground below me. Three stories was enough. It had to be. I sat down on the ledge and tipped myself forward so I would land head first. I prepared myself for the sound of my head cracking like an eggshell...

I tripped an almost fell into someone. "Watch where you're going, you klutz," he snarled.

I filled the bathtub with water. Drowning or electrocution? Drowning or electrocution? Electrocution would be easier and a more sure way to do it. I plugged my hair drier into the wall. Holding it carefully, I stepped into the tub, fully clothed, sat down, and turned the hair dryer on. I dropped it in the water. My back arched as the electricity curled through me...

"Lara! Lara, wait up," Amy called. I ignored her. "Lara!" I walked on. I'd had enough of people, of school, enough of fighting for everything. Dreams came true and mine were going to, when the time was right.

I walked out of the school buildings and off school grounds. I crossed the road and walked towards the highway. I was taking the long way home and my solitary ramble was a path into deeper trouble. My mind drifted.

A horn blared, cutting into my fog. A semi barreled down the road. Time indeed.

I flung myself in front of it.

Fire flared across every nerve ending. It danced through my body burning everything. I was floating weightlessly in a nameless, burning sea. The light was crimson, flaming red, touched by black that spread and gained ground. It was a fire in the night that was crushed into fitful embers. A night that beat back the light until there was...

~Finis

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