/So this is Christmas
And what have you done
Another year over
And a new one just begun
And so this is Christmas
I hope you have fun
The near and the dear one
The old and the young
A very Merry Christmas
And a Happy New Year
Let's hope it's a good one
Without any fear/
*Sounds like he's still continuing that one run-on sentence,* Wufei thought, then tuned it out again, returning to thoughts of the upcoming Christmas reunion. *This had better go well... it certainly won't be my fault if it doesn't!* He scowled slightly. *This holiday is so important to Duo, especially now that it's our turn to host the party. Kami-sama, I'm glad the house was finally finished last month...*
Tuning back in briefly, he noted that Duo was still in good voice.
*I haven't seen him this excited since we got married.* The frown melted into a smile as he remembered...
Trowa and Quatre had insisted on donating one of the Barton-Winner mansions as the site for the wedding... and subsequent honeymoon. The press had gone nearly insane at the news that Relena Peacecraft Yui, Queen of the World, was going to be the Matron of Honour at the wedding of two MALE Preventers (not to mention that her husband was Best Man); at least, they'd gone insane until Relena had called a press conference and torn strips of the worst offenders for their 'narrow-minded, parochial, MEDIEVAL attitudes'. With Heero standing behind her left shoulder, glaring.
Relena had even convinced Duo not to wear a veil. *Though I'm almost certain he was only joking... after all, it wouldn't have gone with his tux.*
*...DAMN but he looked good...*
Absent-mindedly turning the plain gold band on his finger, Wufei lost himself in the memory. Duo in a white tuxedo... long hair rippling loose down his back... tears of joy running down his face as Wufei slipped the ring on his finger...
...Duo in bed that night, naked, arching up towards him...
"Oh God, I just love it when Chang goes off into a trance with that sappy grin on his face!"
"Aren't those two so sweet?!"
"Yes..."
They looked at each other and chorused, "...not that we'd ever let on!"
"Thanks, Lady! We appreciate it, really!" Duo bounded out and set off down the hall, braid snapping behind him.
"I take it you won?" Wufei asked calmly as he fell into step beside him.
"Yep! As if you doubted, 'Fei. Shinigami has not lost his touch!"
"So I see." Wufei ostentatiously checked his watch. "Under three hours; I confess I'm impressed."
"You always are." Duo shot him a wicked sideways look from under his fringe, then bounded ahead. "Hope we get snow for Christmas! Lots and lots and LOTS of snow!"
Unfortunately, they also had to deal with the results of 'an embarrassing abundance of seasonal atmosphere', as one weatherman put it. It looked like Duo had got his wish...
"I know, 'Fei. They'll wish they HADN'T been rescued," said Duo soothingly. "Only a few more days and we're on holiday, OK? Then we can take a break."
"I could almost excuse the ones who were caught up in the hills when the first blizzard hit," Wufei continued, oblivious. "Though they should have been paying better attention to the weather reports! But the ones we're getting now? Idiots! The emergency services have even posted warning signs on all the roads leading into that area, saying that the heavy snowfalls have created avalanche conditions, and the idiots still go up there?"
"I know, 'Fei."
"It would do the gene pool good if we LEFT them up there!"
"I know, 'Fei."
Finally registering Duo's weary tone, Wufei made an effort to calm down. "Well... at least you got your snow for Christmas, right?"
Duo sighed. "Yeah... but it's all up in the hills! We don't have any around the house! I don't get it, 'Fei, that 'lake effect' thingy is supposed to mean we get snow!"
Wufei blinked. "You're right... perhaps we're on the wrong side of the lake?"
"Awwwwwwwww man, I hope not!" Duo looked crestfallen.
Wufei smiled slightly, wrapping his arm around Duo's shoulders. "I promise, Duo, if it hasn't snowed by Christmas Eve I'll borrow one of the transport trucks and a snow blower and get you your snow, OK?"
Duo blinked disbelievingly at him for a second, then broke into a broad grin. "Really?! No kidding? Oh, 'Fei, man, you're the greatest!" He glomped his husband and kissed him enthusiastically, then broke loose and danced on ahead. "Hey, I knew there was a reason I married you!"
Wufei raised an eyebrow as calmly as he could, struggling to hide the effect the kiss had had on him. "Oh? You married me for snow?"
Duo grinned, waggling his eyebrows suggestively. "Well, originally I thought I married you for another short word starting with 's', but I could have been wrong..."
Duo quickly got changed into ratty jeans and a warm turtleneck he'd 'borrowed' from Trowa years before, and bounded out into the lounge room; Wufei heard one of the Christmas music CDs start up as he finished getting changed into dark brown slacks and a button-down shirt.
"Riiiiight... one last splash of *ahem* 'cider' on the fruitcake... there's the bow thingies... there's the lights... Oi 'Fei, if you start on the tree I'll put all the window thingies up, OK?"
"Any more 'cider' and that fruitcake will be more dangerous than your 'perfectly innocent' punch at the last birthday party," Wufei said as he emerged from the bedroom.
"I know!" Duo grinned. "Ain't it great? Watching her drinks won't save Relena this year; we're finally gonna find out what the Queen of the World acts like when she's drunk!"
"Duo, you are a reprehensible, irresponsible, irredeemable idiot... and I love you just the way you are." Wufei pulled Duo into a long, sweet kiss, then drew back slightly. "By 'window thingies', do you mean the red velvet bows with holly sprigs that are going to go over the windows on the inside, or do you mean the candle lanterns with bows etc that are going on the windowsills to be seen from outside?"
"Ahh... um... both?" Duo replied fuzzily.
"Sounds fine to me. The tree stuff goes lights first, then tinsel, then ornaments, right?"
"Sure, whatever... gimme another kiss first?"
He was halfway through sorting the ornaments by size, colour and relative shininess, when the stereo (loaded with five CDs and set to 'shuffle') switched to a carol he'd never heard before. (Admittedly, there were a lot of carols he'd never heard before, since he'd never celebrated Christmas until two years earlier, after he married Duo and Quatre first suggested the annual get-together.)
Wufei straightened up and stared at the stereo, puzzled. "Who the hell is St. Nick?" He'd certainly heard of Santa Claus, and Rudolph, and a bunch of other reindeer, but St. Nick?
"Duo?"
No answer.
"Duo? Duo! Where-- ah." Duo's jacket was gone; he must have gone outside. Shrugging into his own down jacket, Wufei went looking for him.
Walking slowly around the house, he found himself relaxing at last. It felt so good to finally have a place that was theirs; far enough out of the city to be peaceful, it was a large wooded estate on the edge of a lake. The house had been designed to their specifications, and finished only recently.
*We would have been able to afford the house much earlier if we hadn't donated most of the money we 'appropriated' from OZ to all those children's charities... but it made Duo happy. I'd rather have a happy Duo in a tiny apartment than a miserable Duo in a mansion... and now I've got a happy Duo in a mansion.* He paused, smiling, to look out over the lake.
"Whoa-- whoa-- oh, sheeeeEEEEYOW!" There was a loud crash to Wufei's right as Duo landed in a large bush, followed by quieter clattering noises as some small objects slid down the roof into the gutter.
"Duo?! Duo, are you all right?! Duo!" Wufei fought his way into the bush and found his husband sprawled on his back, dazed.
"Owww... Wufei, why didn't you catch me?"
"How the HELL was I supposed to know you were up there? Are you okay?!"
"Yeah... a few bruises, that's all. And my dignity'll never be the same again."
Wufei snorted. "What dignity?"
"Oi!"
He started helping Duo out of the shrubbery. "Come on, back inside. I'll make you a hot chocolate. What were you doing up there, anyway?"
"Um... just putting up some... stuff."
"'Stuff'?" Wufei let go of Duo's arm, since he seemed to be standing OK on his own, and stepped back to where he had a good view of the roof.
Duo watched him nervously, fidgeting with the end of his braid.
"Duo," Wufei said in a calm, conversational tone, "I remember buying all those lights... but I don't remember the sleigh and reindeer."
"I, ah, got them in my lunch hour yesterday... while you were doing all that paperwork. The shop delivered."
Wufei considered this for a moment, then nodded. He figured he could live with a plastic sleigh and reindeer on his roof; at least the sleigh was red and the reindeer realistic. He'd seen enough fluoro pink and purple cartoon monstrosities in the last few weeks to convince him that at least 20% of the human race had no taste whatsoever.
Duo twiddled his braid some more. "You, ah, aren't mad?"
Wufei raised an eyebrow, walking back to slide his arm around Duo's waist and steer him back to the door. "When I get angry, do I ever leave you in doubt?"
"Well... not when we're alone..."
"And do you see anyone else around here?"
"Since I didn't get a plastic St. Nick to go in the sleigh, no."
"Ah. That's a point. Who is St. Nick?!"
Duo hid a smirk behind his mug as he watched Wufei absent-mindedly work his way through the fluffy pink and white lumps. *If I tell him what he's doing, he'll get annoyed at himself for giving way to his sweet tooth without even realising. If I don't tell him what he's doing, he might just automatically throw away the empty bag when he finishes and never realise what he did... but if he does realise, he'll get annoyed at me for not stopping him.*
*Aaah, what the heck, it's cute. And he could use a little more weight anyway... he keeps on working through lunch and forgetting to eat.*
Wufei glanced over at Duo and narrowed his eyes, concerned. "Duo, your lips are blue. How long were you up on the roof?!"
"Uh... not all that long... um, what time is it?"
Wufei reached over and plucked the empty mug out of Duo's hands. "Go upstairs and have a hot shower, OK?"
"Hey, I had my jacket on!"
"And those ratty jeans that wouldn't keep the heat in if you lined them with tinfoil. It's below freezing out there; go get warmed up. Now, Duo."
"Yes, Mama. No, Mama. Three bags full, Mama..."
"Get up there!"
Wufei started cleaning up as Duo bounced out, putting the dirty mugs in the sink and tossing the empty marshmallow bag away without ever noticing what he'd done. As he moved out of the kitchen and turned to go back to trimming the tree, his foot struck a small box.
*Hm? What's this? Oh, right, the mistletoe...* He snickered. *Duo wanted to wallpaper all the ceilings with this stuff. Might as well hang it up first.*
*Hmmm... Duo and Heero should just scrape under. Trowa and Zechs can duck. And if they have a problem with that, they can damn well put it up higher themselves!* Satisfied, he went back to the tree.
A few minutes later, he heard Duo leaping down the stairs. *I'd better warn him just in case--* Sticking his head through the lounge room door into the hall, Wufei called out, "Duo, I put--"
Duo bounced through the doorway, wearing nothing but two towels, before he could finish the sentence.
Wufei had been right; the mistletoe was high enough that Duo should have squeaked under. Unfortunately, the towel wrapped around his hair raised his height several inches. When he felt the mistletoe snag the towel, Duo automatically swatted at it, catching his hand in the string and pulling it loose just as the towel fell off. The long wet hair piled on top of his head tumbled down, taking the mistletoe with it.
Duo flailed at it, sputtering, getting it tangled worse. "What the--? Who the fuck had the idea to hang this stupid shit up here anyway?!"
Wufei sighed, scrubbing his palm over his eyes. "You did, Duo. 'Every doorway on the ground floor, and all the light fixtures,' you said."
"Uh-- well-- well, why'd you hang it so low?!"
"Couldn't get a chair into that corner."
"What about the stepladder?!"
"You had it last I knew. Care to tell me where it is?"
"Um..." Duo paused, thinking, then blushed. "Er... no?"
Wufei lowered his hand just far enough to shoot a sardonic glance at him. "It's outside somewhere, isn't it?"
"Uh..."
"How far into the woods?"
"Ah... twenty minutes walk... south. Southish."
"How long has it been there?"
"Mmm... over a month."
"Why?"
"Well, see, there was this tree... only I couldn't reach the bottom branch... and--"
"I get the picture. We'll buy a new one after Christmas. Now come here so I can get that out of your hair."
"Eheh... tell me you aren't mad first."
Wufei raised an eyebrow at him. "Didn't we have this conversation an hour ago? Get over in front of the fire before you freeze your towel off."
Settling down behind Duo, Wufei carefully disentangled the mistletoe and started separating the wet strands with his fingers. After a few minutes of this, Duo shifted his weight slightly and sighed; mistaking it for a sign of impatience, Wufei apologised.
"I'll start brushing it soon, Duo, but I want to get the worst knots out first -- I don't want to yank at your scalp."
"Hm? Oh -- no, really, I'm in no hurry." Duo smiled over his shoulder, almost shyly. "I was just thinking how nice and peaceful this is... and, y'know, you're here, and doing something nice for me, and being careful 'cause you care, and it feels good..." He blushed. "I'm just... really happy."
Wufei's hands paused for a moment, then continued. "Really happy?"
"Yeah."
"Then... I'm sitting with you, doing something I enjoy, and you're enjoying it too... we're alone in our house... and I'm really happy too."
One violet eye peeked back at him again. "Really happy?"
"Yeah."
"...that's cool."
"Yeah." Wufei grinned and picked up the brush, blushing slightly himself.
Neither of them spoke for some time after that; Wufei just slowly brushed through Duo's hair, continuing long after all the knots were gone, and Duo relaxed, eyes closed, swaying slightly with each sweep of the brush. As his hair dried, the feel of the strokes changed; by the time Wufei set the brush aside and started running his fingers through the shining masses again, the cool slide of it against his shoulders told Duo it was almost completely dry. He carefully didn't sigh; 'Fei was pulling it away from his shoulders, gathering it up as if to plait it, and while he didn't want it to stop he ALSO didn't want to make Wufei feel bad about stopping.
He blinked as Wufei gently pushed the masses of hair forward over his shoulder and ran cool fingers over his back.
"You've got a couple of new bruises here... and here. They from when you fell off the roof?"
"Uh, I guess so; I haven't done anything else today that might ha- aaah!" Duo jerked upright, eyes wide, then swallowed and continued in a voice that was suddenly half an octave higher. "'Fei... what'cha doing back there?"
"Kissing them better." Duo could feel warm breath against his back as Wufei spoke. "Isn't that what a devoted--" lick, nibble, kiss "-- husband is supposed to do for his beloved?"
"Uh-- I g-guess so..." Duo's breath quickened as Wufei's lips moved slowly lower on his back, one hand settling on his hip, the other sliding around to flatten against his stomach. "Ah... 'Fei... are you aware that most of my bruises are on my butt?"
Warm lips smiled against the small of his back as Wufei pulled the towel loose. "I guessed."
Even before he opened his eyes, he knew exactly where Duo was; there was a warm weight pressed against his side, a leg thrown over his thighs, and an arm lying limp across his chest. Soft puffs of breath were tickling the hollow of his throat, Duo's bangs were tickling his chin, and the feeling of something loose and silky tangled around his left arm reminded him that he never had got around to plaiting Duo's hair.
*Five years ago, I never dreamed I'd end up as Duo's body pillow,* he thought, carefully disentangling himself and sliding out of bed. The hair posed a problem, but two-and-a-half years of practice made it possible without waking his lover; bereft of his warm huggy toy, Duo made a discontented noise and clutched one of the pillows instead.
A few minutes later, Wufei managed to drag himself away from the sight and ducked into the ensuite for a quick shower. On the way, he paused for a look out the window; he was smiling when he turned on the water.
When he re-emerged into the bedroom, towelling droplets off his chest, Duo was in the process of waking up; he blinked drowsily through his bangs and smiled, sweetly, looking somehow completely innocent and much younger than his true age. It was a sight that Wufei was sure he could never get tired of.
Of course, it didn't last.
Yawning hugely and flopping onto his back, Duo stretched across the full width of the bed. Then, grinning wickedly, he started singing.
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas--"
Wufei snorted. "Baka. Stop dreaming and look out the window."
"--Just like the ones I used to-- huh? Why?"
"It must have been snowing all night; there's at least six inches on the ground and it's still coming down."
"YES!" Duo punched the air in triumph and bounded out of bed, scattering blankets and pillows as he leapt onto the window seat and threw the curtains open.
Leaning into the closet as he hunted out the right pair of pants, Wufei heard Duo start up in the middle of a different song.
"Walkin' in a winter wonderland--"
"Duo."
"--Gone away is the bluebird-- oh come on, 'Fei, it's just a song! -- Here to stay is a new bird--"
"Duo."
"All right, all right! Sheesh!" Duo chuckled. "Grinch."
Turning around, mouth open to respond as he tugged the pants over his hips, Wufei froze at the sight that greeted his eyes.
*And a very nice view it is...*
Duo was kneeling on the window seat with his nose smushed up against the glass, craning his neck as he tried to see everything at once, swaying his hips in time with the carols in his head.
*It's a good thing we've got double glazing, or I'd have to use a hairdryer to thaw his nose off the pane,* Wufei mused, slowly pushing his slacks back off his hips. *Hmm... we don't have that much left to do today. I think we can spare a couple of hours...*
Downstairs, the phone rang.
"I'll get it!" Duo leapt off the window seat and ran out of the room.
"Oh shit-- Duo! Wait!!" Wufei scrambled after him, yanking his pants up as he ran.
The call went through and the vidphone's screen blinked on. Lady Une's eyes widened and she froze, staring at the vision before her.
"Maxwell-Chang resiEEYOW!" Duo's cheerful smile vanished sideways off the screen. "Ow! Not the hair! Not the hair!"
Still staring wide-eyed at the screen (which was now showing part of a rather tastefully decorated room), she was vaguely aware of a tightly controlled Chinese voice, just within range of the other set's pickup. "Duo... please put some clothes on before you answer the phone."
"Oh! Shit! Sorry, 'Fei... I forgot I didn't wear anything to bed last night."
"You never wear anything to bed, Duo! What's there to forget?!"
"Eheh... I'll just go get dressed and make breakfast, shall I?"
Lady Une had barely got her breathing under control when Wufei stepped into view; she could feel it speeding up again as her eyes wandered slowly downwards. *I've never seen Chang with his hair loose before... or shirtless... water trickling down his oh my oh my oh my I do believe he hasn't done up all the buttons on those pants--* She yanked her eyes up to meet his as he spoke, feeling a blush spread over her cheekbones.
"Lady Une? Is there a problem?"
*Ooooooh no, not at ALL...* She cleared her throat. "Chang. I'm sorry to disturb you when you're supposed to be on holiday--" *and goodness only knows WHAT I interrupted but I'd LOVE to see* "--but yes, we have a problem. As I'm sure you're aware, there were fresh snowfalls last night, extremely heavy snowfalls with the usual consequences. The emergency services are handling all the problems in town, but once again they are stretched to their limits; and there have been fresh avalanches--"
Wufei paused midway through smoothing his hair back, fresh trickles of water making their way down suddenly tensed muscles. "You're cancelling our leave."
"Yes. I'm sure you under--"
"No."
"--stand, lives are... what?"
"I said no." Wufei planted his hands on the vid table and leaned forward aggressively. "You know what we've got planned -- hell, you and Sally Po are invited -- and there's still a lot to be done. We won't both come running back just because some microcephalic moron is endeavouring to improve the human race by freezing himself out of it!"
Une suddenly realised that she was pressing herself back into her chair, trying to get further away from that furious black glare. "But- - I--" Her spine stiffened. "I have to send someone, and you two are what I've got!"
"I'll handle it myself."
She shook her head. "Impossible. I can't send you up into the hills without backup."
"Then find someone else to go with me. Also, I will be back off duty tomorrow night. I will not allow this nonsense to ruin Duo's Christmas."
There was a pause.
Somehow, Lady Une could hear all sorts of violent possibilities in that little pause.
"I... think Noin is available... she said something about 'sending Zechs to buy the tree and then putting her feet up'."
"Understood. I'll be there in an hour."
Still staring at the darkened screen, Une picked up a file and began fanning herself. "Oh my... oh my oh my oh my..." She was mildly annoyed at the inadequacy of that statement, but decided that nothing stronger really covered it either.
"Oh, my..."
"Hm? Noin? Oh! Yes, ask her to come in -- oh, and go find Sally, could you? And come in yourself. Ah, I'm afraid I have to cancel the first day or so of your leave, but believe me, you won't mind!"
"Yes, ma'am!"
Zechs, outside casually chatting to Heero and Relena, overheard; he stopped Noin for a moment as she emerged. "Problems? Is my leave cancelled too?"
"I don't know yet -- whatever's up, it must be big. I've rarely seen her so agitated! Have you seen Sally?"
"She was in Lt. Green's office as we went past."
He raised an elegant platinum eyebrow at Heero as Noin zipped off down the corridor and Relena, looking concerned, stepped into the office. "Sounds fascinating... shall we?" Heero nodded, and they followed Relena in.
They backed out again a second later as Lady Une planted a hand in the centre of each chest and literally pushed them out. "Oh, no, no no no no no... really, gentlemen, it's good of you to be concerned but I assure you your assistance is not required with this matter, thank you, goodbye!"
The door closed in their faces.
They looked at each other.
Heero spoke first. "Well... that was out of character."
Zechs nodded. "Definitely. But I think I can take it that my leave is not cancelled."
"Ha! I'd say so."
The two men politely stepped aside as Noin and Sally hurried past. The office door closed again behind them with a very definite 'thunk'.
There was a slight pause.
"The way Une's acting, I doubt they'll tell us what's going on," drawled Zechs.
"I think you're right."
"But I, for one, am now immensely curious."
"You're not the only one."
Another pause.
"I hear you got in trouble last year for bugging the Preventers' offices."
"Hn."
"I don't suppose you've done it again?"
"...I might have."
"Any rooms in particular?"
"Une sweeps her office personally. Every day."
"Damn."
"Mmm."
Zechs sighed. "Well... all we can really do is stay here and listen."
Heero raised an eyebrow at him.
"After all, we want to be in earshot if they change their minds and call us in, don't we?"
"Ah. Of course."
"We'd be derelict in our duty, otherwise."
"Don't push it too far, Merquise."
"Ladies." Une clasped her hands together, fiddling with the remote control. "I have to admit, this is... well... only peripherally Preventers business. Very peripherally. In fact, it's stretching a point to call it Preventers business at all."
The other women looked at each other, confused.
"This is a recording of a vidphone call I made just a short while ago," Une said, pressing a button on the remote. Static fuzzed the wall screen, then cleared to show 'now ringing, please wait'.
"Ladies!" she declared triumphantly, a wicked smirk beginning to curl her lip. "I now present to you... documentary proof of at least one reason why Chang Wufei married Duo Maxwell!"
Duo flashed onto the screen in all his tousled morning glory.
"Oh... my..." Relena was blushing beet-red, but never took her eyes from the screen.
"Rewind! Rewind!" cheered Noin, bouncing in her seat.
"There'll be plenty of time to rewind later," Une said, smiling. "Keep watching; now we have 'why Maxwell married Chang'."
There was a pause.
"Oh... MY..." Relena started fanning herself with Lady Une's mouse mat.
"He's grown too," Sally commented, eyes sparkling.
"No kidding. You know, the first time I saw him I said he was only a baby. Damn, but he's developed!"
"Now we get to the scary bit--"
"Oooh! Look at those EYES!"
"Flex! Flex! Oh, muscles!"
"--will not allow this nonsense to ruin Duo's Christmas."
"And there's the OTHER reason Duo married him," said Relena quietly.
There was a solemn silence for nearly three seconds.
"Okay, NOW rewind."
"Any luck?"
"Relena just said 'oh my' again. And Noin said something about rewinding."
Heero kicked his ankle. "Someone's coming."
When Trowa and Quatre came around the corner, Zechs was leaning nonchalantly against the wall next to Heero.
"Good morning, Heero, Zechs. Is Lady Une in her office? I'm supposed to be having a meeting with her and Relena, but we're running a little late this morning." Quatre shot a quick glance sideways at Trowa.
"It's not my fault," Trowa said, raising an eyebrow at him. "You're the one who--"
Quatre's hand was suddenly over Trowa's mouth. "Only the first... delay... was my fault. I refuse to take responsibility for anything else."
Trowa was smirking when he took his hand away, but didn't disagree.
"Relena's already in there. So are Sally and Noin," said Heero.
"They seem to have started without you," said Zechs.
"They wouldn't let us in."
Quatre blinked. "Oh? Why not?"
"They wouldn't say."
"Let's see if they'll let you in, shall we?" Zechs knocked firmly on the door.
There was a surprisingly long pause; then the door opened a crack and Lady Une peered out. "Yes?"
"Quatre's here," Zechs said, trying to angle his head to see past her without being too obvious about it.
"Quatre--? Oh! Yes, I remember -- hold on a second." And she closed the door.
Sally and Noin pouted; Relena looked thoughtful. "Why don't we invite him in?"
Everyone else looked at her as if she were insane.
"We can't do that!" Sally protested.
"Why not?"
"He's a guy!" Noin pointed out.
"Noooo! Really?" Relena rolled her eyes. "He's also a very sweet gay guy who will probably enjoy this as much as we are. And we can trust him to keep his mouth shut."
They all looked at each other.
"That was out of character."
"We know," they chorused.
"Something's definitely going on."
"We know."
"Any idea what it is?"
They shook their heads. "Heero hasn't got any bugs in there and I can't hear a damn thing through the door," Zechs volunteered.
Trowa was just opening his mouth to respond when Lady Une and Sally opened the door, grabbed Quatre, and yanked him inside. Sally paused just long enough to smile sweetly and waggle her fingers 'hi' at Trowa before she slammed and locked the door.
All three of the men left outside stared incredulously. Finally, Heero spoke.
"All right. First it was interesting. Then it was suspicious. Now it's surreal."
"And it's damn annoying, too!" Zechs agreed.
Une grinned and waved the remote commandingly at the screen. "Watch and enjoy, Quatre, watch and enjoy!"
"Okay, we have another whistle from Noin, another 'oh my' from Relena, and that's the third 'oh dear' from Quatre," Zechs announced.
"Noin!" Relena squeaked, aghast.
Quatre raised a calm eyebrow. "Why Lucrezia, I'm surprised you'd ask. You should know by now I'm not the type to scr-- ah, kiss and tell." He smiled wickedly. "Why don't you ask Ms. Yui?"
"Oh no! No, no, no! Leave me out of this!" Relena said frantically, flapping her hands.
"And of course," he continued smoothly, "you wouldn't expect us to tattle without volunteering some information of your own, hmmm? How does Zechs 'measure up'?"
"Oh, yes," Sally said, leaning forwards. "Do tell!"
"Ah-- well-- I-- you see-- ack!"
"Duo..."
Duo spun around, balancing a plate of pancakes, eggs and bacon on one hand and brandishing a metal spatula in the other. "'Fei! I made your favourite--" Then he registered Wufei's uniform, and his face fell.
So did the plate.
Wufei dove and managed to grab it, rescuing all but one slice of bacon. Placing it carefully on the bench, out of the way, he braced himself and looked back at Duo's face.
Huge violet eyes, shimmering with unshed tears...
*Oh, shit. I swear, that onna is going to regret this!* Reaching out gently, he gathered Duo into his arms, taking the spatula and flicking it into the sink before it could smear grease all over his jacket.
"Love... please, Duo, don't look like that. It's only until tomorrow afternoon. I'm sorry."
Duo dropped his head onto Wufei's shoulder and sniffed. When he spoke, his voice was suspiciously muffled. "More frozen skiers?"
"Yeah." Wufei's voice was so disgusted that he got a watery giggle in response.
"I'll go get changed."
"No." Wufei's arms tightened, holding him still. "Your leave hasn't been cut."
Duo's head popped upright at that. "But-- who's backing you up?!"
"Noin."
"Oh. That's OK, I guess... but why?"
"Because you are going to finish decorating the tree -- I'm sorry I didn't finish it last night--"
Duo snickered, still suspiciously bright-eyed but getting his cheerful mask back under control. "I'm not. You had someone more fun to do."
"--*ahem* cook the turkey and whatever else still needs to be done. That way, we can still have a great Christmas reunion. Right?"
"Right."
Wufei kissed him gently and stepped back. "I don't really have time for breakfast--"
"Aah, that's okay." Duo waved dismissively. "I'll just eat your share too. Hey, I eat half of it even when you're here!"
On his way to the front door, shrugging into his overcoat, Wufei paused and looked back. Duo was standing in the doorway, smiling; but it didn't reach his eyes, and his hands were twisting a dishcloth into knots.
"Duo, I promise... I'll be home for Christmas." He turned, reaching for the doorknob, and continued in a dark voice. "Even if I have to dig those damned skiers out with my bare hands and kick them down the mountain..."
The door closed behind him.
The smile faded from Duo's face. He stood there a while longer, staring blankly at the door, until there was a tearing noise and he looked down to see that he'd twisted the dishcloth so hard it had ripped.
Slowly, he turned and walked back into the kitchen. The dishcloth went into the garbage pail; he picked up the plate of cooling food and stared at it for a moment, then dumped it too. The plate clattered into the sink and Duo dropped into a chair, slumping forward onto the kitchen table.
"Awwwww!"
"I'm expecting Chang to turn up in five minutes at most, Sally. Do you really want to be sitting here watching that when he gets here?"
"Ah, yes, well--"
"The door is locked," Noin put in helpfully.
"That won't stop him if he wants in. He knows my vidphone automatically records everything; he's going to want to wipe this call."
"Ah. Right."
"And of course I'm going to have to let him."
Heero looked up from where he was chatting to Trowa. "I heard it too-- what was it?"
"For some reason, they all screamed 'NO!' at once!"
"Female staff morale?" Noin muttered hopefully.
Everyone else sighed.
"However... consider these early Christmas presents." She held up a handful of video discs.
As Noin walked past, she leaned over towards Trowa and muttered, "Now I know why they call Quatre the 'terror of the negotiating table'. Brrr!" Turning her head, she called out, "Lady Une, I'm just going to get my cold weather gear; if Chang arrives before I get back, could you tell him I won't be long?" Receiving a nod in answer, she walked off.
Trowa blinked after her, then turned to Quatre. "What's she talking about?"
"Ah... nothing really important," Quatre insisted, blushing slightly. "I just... turned one of her own arguments against her."
Trowa looked pointedly at the blush, but didn't comment.
Heero wasn't so reticent. "Relena, you're bright red. Is something wrong?"
"Ah-- no, no, really I'm fine," she blurted out, fanning herself faster.
"Are you sure? You--"
Une leaned out of her office and interrupted. "Relena, may I have my mouse mat back?"
Relena blinked at the object in her hand. "Oh! I'm sorry, I didn't realise-- here."
"Thank you."
She started fanning herself with her handbag instead. "Um... Sally, shall we go and get a drink?"
"Sounds like a good idea. Shall we?" Arms linked, they left. Heero glared suspiciously after them, but didn't follow.
Une turned to the remaining four. "Gentlemen? Is there anything further?"
"No... I don't believe so," Quatre mused. "Guys?" The others all shook their heads.
"In that case, I have quite a bit of paperwork to do, and Chang Wufei will be here soon for his assignment."
"I thought he started his holiday today," Zechs said curiously. Quatre blushed a slightly deeper shade of pink.
"So did he," Une said dryly. "Unfortunately, Fate -- along with some singularly stupid specimens of humanity -- has conspired otherwise. Noin will be going backup for him."
"Ah; I see." *Though why that would cause all this fuss and secrecy, I don't see.*
"Hello, Wufei!" Quatre chirped, blushing furiously. Luckily for him, nobody seemed to notice.
Wufei stalked down the corridor towards them, acknowledging Quatre's greeting with a stiff nod. "Quatre. Trowa. Zechs. Heero. ...Lady."
"Chang." Une stood aside and gestured gracefully towards her office door. "Please, come in; Noin will be along shortly. If you'll excuse us, gentlemen?"
The door closed behind them.
"Well... she's back in character, at least. What was that all about, Quatre?" Heero said.
"Ah... nothing you need to know," Quatre said nervously, slowly backing away.
"Really, Quatre," Zechs purred, moving up beside Heero, "you know we won't settle for an answer like that."
"Ask Noin and Relena!"
"We're asking you."
"Er... Trowa! Help!" And he was off at top speed with the other three pelting after him.
Wufei deflated slightly, deprived of the expected argument before it had even begun. "...Thank you." He quickly found and deleted the file.
"No, really, thank you. For coming in," she added quickly. "I know how you feel about this job."
He snorted. "I hope you don't expect me to be polite to them."
"As a matter of fact-- ah, Noin, come in-- please, be seated, both of you." When they were all settled, she continued. "You are not expected to be polite. Quite the contrary."
"Oh?" *Licence to be rude? This may not be as bad as I thought.*
"You may not be aware of it -- I believe you and Maxwell were actually halfway up a mountain rescuing a solo free-climber when this was announced--"
Wufei almost growled at the memory. *Solo free-climbing in avalanche country immediately after a blizzard, ye gods. 'For the adrenaline rush,' he said!*
"--but the local administration have decided that they are no longer willing to fund rescue operations that are caused by sheer stupidity. Especially when the normal emergency services are swamped and they have to call us in. We are rather more expensive, after all; and since this is not at all what we are meant to be doing, we are not pleased to be stuck with it."
"So... we let them know we're not happy?"
"Oh, more than that." Lady Une smiled wickedly. "We are not happy. You, personally, are not happy. The emergency services are not happy. The state government is not happy. And the cash register is ringing up new charges every minute... which they will be expected to pay. I expect you both to make absolutely certain that every member of that skiing party is aware of all these facts. To that end--" she pulled a small palm-pad computer out of her desk drawer "--Noin, this is for you. This datapad is keeping a running total of all the costs involved with this rescue, starting from the moment I called Chang--" both women blushed very slightly "--and he went on duty. Please keep the rescuees informed about their bill, in as offensive a manner as possible without actually giving them reason to sue you."
Noin took the datapad, grinning. "I think I can manage, ma'am."
"Oh, by the way, it will sound an alarm whenever there's a major change." Une shuddered. "It's a particularly noxious alert noise, copied from a late 20th century anime that was long ago, thankfully, terminated."
"I can't wait," Noin muttered, eyeing it with much less enthusiasm.
"Chang, your part in this is similar. Tell them what you think of them. Glare that--" Une blushed again "--absolutely devastating glare of yours. Try to make them feel like something that just got kicked out from under its rock because the other little creepy- crawlies refused to associate with something so disgustingly uncivilised. Am I being quite clear?"
Wufei smiled coldly. "Perfectly."
"Again, just try not to get sued... although we could probably win any court cases, so don't try too hard. Here's the data on where, who, what and-- NO! WRONG DISK! WRONG DISK!"
Wufei blinked as Lady Une suddenly snatched the disk back out of his fingers and stuffed it into her desk drawer.
"Ah... sorry. Wrong disk. I was, ah, working on something else at the same time as I copied your mission data... here's the right disk. Dismissed!"
Over the next couple of hours, Duo cleaned up the kitchen, did the dishes, finished the tree, and rescued the hammer and pliers from under six inches of snow in the gutter. Feeling a bit chilled after that, he settled himself in front of the fireplace with a mug of triple-strength hot chocolate. Making a mental note to buy another bag of marshmallows to replace the ones Wufei had eaten, he started thinking about What To Do Next.
"Um. I could bake cookies... but we've already got a heap. We've done all the decorations. I can't start the turkey until tomorrow afternoon. Um..."
His eyes focussed on the fireplace. Specifically, the mantelpiece.
"Oh, yeah! That'll be perfect!"
"Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, sir!" the girl manning the booth chirped. "How can I help you?"
"Oh, I want a bunch of stuff, Duo grinned, running his eyes over the racked stockings, T-shirts, Santa hats and other Christmassy cloth goods behind her. "Umm... how big are the stockings?"
"We have them in five sizes, sir--"
"I need something that'll hold about as much stuff as a pillowcase. That's what I was gonna use, 'cause I'm trying to keep this a secret-- " he winked, getting a giggle in response "--but I got a chance to shop alone and here I am!" The cheerful tone was a bit forced, but nobody who didn't know him would have noticed.
"About as much as a pillowcase.. I think you'll need the biggest size, sir. Will this do?"
"Yeah, that's great! And I need 'em embroidered, big letters."
"No problem, sir. If you'll just write the names down so I don't make any spelling mistakes, I'll do that right away."
"Okay... lessee," he muttered, scribbling. "Me, Wufei, Quatre, Trowa, Relena, Heero, Noin -- I'll put 'Lu', that'll bug her -- Zechs... mmm, Sally and Une said they probably wouldn't make it, but they might, so... and Catherine and Rashid. Boy, was that pairing a surprise! I thought Trowa was gonna have a heart attack... Here ya go!"
"Okay... twelve? Looks like you're going to have a great Christmas party!"
"I hope so!" Duo muttered.
A short while later...
"There you are, sir. That'll be 180 credits, plus tax."
"Sure..." As Duo was digging notes out of his wallet, his eyes fell on another part of the display. "Oh! And I need one of those Santa hats, with 'Santa Duo' on it!"
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Copyright 2005