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Last Update:
January 13, 2004 10:30 AM EST

----- January-February, 2004 -----

Fortunately, I can read, so I won't be tempted to stab myself in the eyes rather than view most of Hollywood's recent releases. What I'm reading now.

NEW/ COMING SOON TO THEATERS:
What I'm (going to be) watching:
The Butterfly Effect From Yahoo Movies: A young man (Kutcher) struggling with the psychological effects of sublimated childhood memories devises a technique of traveling back in time to inhabit his childhood body, but he finds that every trip back has unintended results on his present self, leading him to travel back again and again, trying to repair the damage that he's only making worse and worse.
Science Fiction/Fantasy and Thriller 1 hr. 53 min.
Release Date: January 23rd, 2004 (wide).
MPAA Rating: R for violence, sexual content, language and brief drug use.
Distributor: New Line Cinema
Calendar Girls From Yahoo Movies: This film tells the true (but slightly fictionalized) story of 11 middle-aged women, ages 45 to 60, from the small village of Rylstone in Yorkshire, England who posed naked for the annual calendar of local branch of the Women's Institute, to raise money for medical research, after one of the husband, John Baker, of one of the members, Angela Baker (Walters), becomes terminally ill from leukemia.
Comedy 1 hr. 48 min.
Release Date: December 19, 2003 (NY/LA).
MPAA Rating: PG-13 for nudity, some language and drug-related material.
Distributor: Touchstone
Lord of the Rings:
The Return of the King
Unlike other trilogy conclusions which disappointed, LotR:RofK certainly delivered. Though criticized as an advertisement for the recently released extended editions of the first two movies in the trilogy, LotR:RofK was a visually stunning, comprehensive conclusion of the Lord of the Rings story.
Peter Pan From Yahoo Movies: Peter Pan is the boy who won't age, who lives in Neverland with other ageless kids, the Lost Boys. Tinkerbelle, a fairy, gives three children: Wendy, John, and Michael Darling the ability to fly; and soon they're off to Neverland, where they're soon in battle with the evil Captain Hook and his band of pirates.
Action/Adventure and Kids/Family 1 hr. 45 min.
Release Date: December 25th, 2003 (wide).
MPAA Rating: PG for adventure action sequences and peril.
Distributor: Universal Pictures
Spider-Man 2

Check out the trailers

From Yahoo Movies: Your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man returns in the sequel to the record-breaking blockbuster movie debut for Marvel Comics' flagship character. Tobey Maguire returns as Peter Parker, the nerd-turned-hero, to face new threats to New York City and the people he loves.
Action/Adventure
Release Date: July 2nd, 2004 (wide).
Distributor: Columbia Pictures (Sony)

Can wait for the video:
Torque Cold Mountain Big Fish Matrix Revolutions
Of course, I'll BUY the video...
Can wait for cable:
Paycheck The Last Samaurai Mona Lisa Smile Along Came Polly
NEW VIDEOS: Check out Blockbuster's mega listing
WHAT I'VE SEEN/ BOUGHT
American Wedding Jim (Jason Biggs) proposes to Michelle (Alyson Hannigan). Hoping to make the wedding day as special as possible for his bride, Jim enlists the help of his friends Finch (Eddie Kaye Thomas), Kevin (Thomas Ian Nicholas), and the always obnoxious Stiffler (Seann William Scott) to help him convince a dressmaker to create the perfect gown, make a good impression on his future in-laws, and assist him in getting out of the embarrassing situations in which he so often seems to find himself. Stiffler and Finch battle for the attention of Michelle's younger sister Cadence (January Jones), Jim's Grandmother objects to the wedding because Michelle is not Jewish, and Stiffler's poorly timed surprise bachelor party are just some of the obstacles that must be overcome before the happy event can transpire. ~ Perry Seibert, All Movie Guide
Pirate of the Carribean: The Legend of the Black Pearl

With: Johnny Depp, Geoffrey Rush, Orlando Bloom

Proving that you don't have to be a child of the '80's to appreciate the hotness which is Johnny Depp, the talented character actor portrays Captain Jack Sparrow. Captain Jack is on a quest to retrieve his stolen ship, the cursed Black Pearl. Helping him is young Will Turner (Orlando Bloom). Will acts not for love of piracy, but for love of the obligatory damsel in distress (and former jewelery theif!) Elizabeth Swann. Bah, plot is incidental; this is fun!

The League of Extrodinary Gentlemen

With:

Missable, sure, but still fun. If you're going to see both Pirates & League, see League first; Pirates is the better movie. I'm not looking for sequels to this one.

X2: X-Men United

With: Patrick Stewart, Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry

UNDER THE CATEGORY: WAITED FOR THE VIDEO
DRAMA COMEDY HORROR/ SCI-FI

----- Blade II -----

Blade II actually got good reviews, perhaps a first for a vampire movie with a rap/ rock soundtrack.
Click here for the official website, and see below for EW's review.
Blade 2
Movie Review by Owen Gleiberman

There are two ways to kill people in Blade II. You can be elaborately technical in your combat, which is how Blade (Wesley Snipes) -- half human, half vampire, and all sulky -- tends to go about it; at various points, he wields a samurai sword, phosphorous bombs, and his own acrobatic, kicking-off-the-walls body. (In a nice touch, the camera sometimes twirls right along with him.) Or you can be elaborately slurpy in your flesh-eating, which is the mode preferred by the villains. They're a crew of deluxe vampires who look like Nosferatu with skin made entirely of blue cheese. These supersuckers have mouths that split open into...much bigger mouths, the cavities adorned with a gelatinous thrusting thingy that unfurls like calamari with genitals. (Hey, I just report this stuff.)

Directed by Guillermo del Toro, ''Blade II'' is less obsessed with its hero as a fashion statement of new-millennium demon chic than the first ''Blade'' was. The new film seems equally influenced by videogames and open-heart surgery. Del Toro lays on the operatic head-trip gore, but his heavy-handed embrace of the ''Blade'' mythology allows Wesley Snipes to give more of a performance than he did in the first film. He taps a note of stylized pathos in his portrayal of a hero caught between worlds. Could it be that Snipes, a good actor who became an action star, got caught between worlds himself? B-

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