Rants and Raves

Favourite Quotes
Definiton of an excellent writer: someone who can write terrible work intentionally.
He can paint a picture with words; unfortunately he's more a Picasso than a Constable --- Copyright P.Ward
There are no truths, only assumptions.
It is a wise person who knows their own limits, but a foolish one who is restrained by them.
They may be pathetic, but I made up these quotes, and, hey - I kinda like them. So I hereby proclaim they are copyright R. Ward
Why is it we believe scientists when they tell us how many stars there are in the universe, yet if there's a wall with the sign "Wet paint", we have to touch it to make sure?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*****Please Note: This article is a JOKE! Do not take too seriously please!*****
A strange new culture has slowly infiltrated the world, and with each American sitcom, it becomes more and more powerful. This bizarre breed of people exist on crumpets, tea, and occasionally, sour cakes often known as scones. For a variation in diet, they may try Yorkshire pudding, gravy, and roast beef.
Their hobbies consist of: participating in, or watching a game called cricket, the rules to which no-one (by which I mean foreigners) can understand; kicking each other in the head, yelling, and getting thoroughly drunk - they call it football; riding horses over rough terrain in pursuit of a defenseless fox while yelling the mysterious “Tally Ho!”; and talking about the weather.
The habitat in which this race lives is, peculiarly, identical, no matter which part of their country they settle in, consisting of large houses and mansions. However, this is not important, and the only place that truly ‘exists’ is a rather small town of the name of London, although a few people are known to exist in a place called Scotland Inside the houses, servants run amock, scurrying to fetch articles of clothing known as “bloomers”, except for one decrepit man dressed in black, who only answers the door and phone, before retiring to fetch “the master of the house” with nose in the air.
The manner of speech is extremely unusual too, for most members of the society refer to other members as “old chap”, and talk as though a large stone permanently resides in their mouths. When really roused to anger, they may mutter “Gosh.” or “Damn it”, and perhaps litter their sentences with “Bloody..” but generally they are mild-mannered people. Of course, there is the occasionally chimney sweep, f dust-binman who speaks with a Cockney accent, and says such unfathomable things as “Cor blimey, stroike a loight, Guv, fix yer mince poies on them threpney bits (translation: I say, bless me, sir, take a jolly good look at that charming cleavage).
So, where is this strange race? In reality, it doesn’t really exist, but in the minds of American sitcoms, these people reside in Ye Olde Englande, or England for you uneducated chappies. Ever since Dick Van-Dykes absolutely realistic Cockney accent, the stereotype of the English had escalated into the ridiculous, until we received the faint insult that was “F*r*i*e*n*d*s” in London. Now, I know Americans will be more than likely able to point out there are a few stereotypes we hold of them too. And they’ll be correct, for stereotypes are everywhere. But we do not unusually place these stereotypes in our sitcoms for everyone to see. Why? Because it’s ‘bloody’ insulting, and reinforces mind-sets. So please, please, can just one script-writer or casting director sometime in the future, try to counter the ridiculous stereotype?
Right, now I’m done with the ranting, I think I’ll have a nice cup of tea and a crumpet. How simply spiffing!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In fantasy film and TV, or even media with elements of fantasy, it is presumed that the content is pure fiction, and unrealistic subjects can be dealt with. Yet strangely it seems as though people will accept, maybe even believe, incredibly fantastic stories and characters but will be irritated by something that is unrealistic regarding real life.
For example:
A radioactive mutant writes a letter whilst surrounded by talking kitchen appliances. He mails it with only the name of the recipient on the envelope, and it arrives at its destination. People would probably complain that this could never happen.
If you're still not convinced, talk at look at the movie and TV nit-pick sites- they'll al contain inconsistencies in reality in the midst of fantasy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeah, yeah, it's irrelevant, but this page is going to be kinda a miscellaneous page, and I didn't have anywhere else to put this. Go ahead, enjoy the gimmick....put your mouse over the table to change the background colour.

I found this at Catstuff, so all credit is to the siteowner. Thank you :)

c h a n g e b a c k g r o u n d s