THE INSIGNIFICANCE OF 
In my humble opinion, Wednesday is the least significant day of the week. It is a completely useless day which disrupts the entire weekly cycle. It has no business being in the middle of the week, and in fact, has no business being in the week at all. Over the next few paragraphs, I am going to attempt to prove to you that Wednesday has no significance whatsoever in the weekly cycle, and that it should be eliminated.
First comes the insignificance part. Every other day of the week has some sort of importance or meaning in the weekly cycle. To begin with, there’s Monday. Monday is the day which everybody hates, probably because it is the first day of the week, and is associated with going back to their place of employment after an enjoyable weekend of fishing in the country or sitting around watching television or possibly trying to lick their elbow (quite impossible in case you’ve never tried). Just about everybody has some motive or other to dislike Monday, but you rarely ever hear anybody mutter under their breath “I hate Wednesday.” After Monday comes Tuesday. Tuesday is the day where everybody recovers from Monday. I also tend to associate Tuesdays with pancakes, but maybe that’s just me. Chronologically, Wednesday usually comes after Tuesday, however, since it is insignificant, we’ll skip it for now and go straight to Thursday. Thursday is the day where everyone looks forwards to Friday. On a Thursday, one might think to oneself “Woohoo, tomorrow’s Friday.” And then, there’s Friday. Friday is the final day of the work week, where people think to themselves “Woohoo, today’s Friday.” It is also the day where people tend to be the laziest. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.) In a recent survey which I personally conducted, I found that 100% of people said that Friday was the day of the week where they do the least work. I also discovered that more people order pizzas on Friday than on any other day. This is likely because after they spend a whole day doing nothing at their place of work, they are too lazy when they come home to cook themselves a meal. Then, there’s the weekend (Saturday and Sunday). Which are significant simply because they are the weekend. Without them, there would be no weekend. So you see, everyday of the week has some importance, with the exception of Wednesday.
You could argue that after a particularly crappy Monday, you need an extra day to recover, which would be Wednesday. But, if we were to eliminate Wednesday, Saturday and Sunday would be so much closer. In this case, your situation would not seem quite so bleak, and you would not need that extra day. You could also argue that On Wednesday you’re beginning to look forward to Friday, but I feel that’s a bit premature. Wednesday seems to be completely unimportant. It’s just there, no meaning, no significance, nothing at all. There are several reasons why we should eliminate Wednesday. For example, if there was no Wednesday, the weeks wouldn’t seem quite as long. Also, the way our current ‘seven day week’ system works, the number of weeks in a month only works out evenly once in a year, in February, and that doesn’t even happen all the time. However, if we were to remove Wednesday from the week, and adopt a six day cycle, it would work out evenly four times in a year, and that would happen every year. I’ll admit, it’s not perfect, there would still be eight other months out there with a decimal amount as their number of weeks, but four out of twelve is more practical than one or sometimes none.
In conclusion we should eliminate Wednesday from the week, not only because it is completely insignificant, but also because it has no meaning. It is an entirely useless day which holds up the rest of the week.
Get your own Free Home Page