BUMPERSTICKERS.....
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
I'm as confused as a baby in a topless bar.
The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.
The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.
Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake!
Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.
I'm not a complete idiot, some parts are missing!
He who laughs last thinks slowest!
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
Give me ambiguity or give me something else.
"More hay, Trigger?" "No thanks, Roy, I'm stuffed!"
A flashlight is a case for holding dead batteries.
Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
There's too much blood in my caffeine system.
I wouldn't be caught dead with a necrophiliac.
Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
I won't rise to the occasion, but I'll slide over to it.
Assassins do it from behind.
If ignorance is bliss, you must be orgasmic.
Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere may be happy.
I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
"Criminal Lawyer" is a redundancy.
And more......
YOU KNOW YOU HAVE BEEN ON THE COMPUTER TOO LONG....
When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it
is 16 or 32 bits.
When you are counting objects, you go
"0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...".
When you dream in 256 pallettes of 256 colors.
When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and
come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise
her for for omitting the "else" clause.
You try to sleep, and think
sleep(8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours /
When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get
to the next page.
When after fooling around all day with routers etc,
you pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number...
When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the
floor you want.
When not only do you check your email more often than your paper
mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your
postal one.
When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom
window.
When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're
doing the math in octal.
When you look for a trash can icon for throwing garbage.
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