"Holo-Illusions - Part Two"
By Orlith and Lor
Later that afternoon, on the bridge of USS Voyager:
From his seat at the Pilot Station, Lt. Tom Paris found himself once more staring at the Voyager's Commanding Officers for the hundredth time that shift.
*What is going on with them?* he thought to himself. *They have both been so pre-occupied today. Neither one of them is paying any attention to what is going on around them. What has them both so preoccupied?* His curiosity was killing him, Tom could hardly wait until his shift was over to tell B'Ellana what had been going on all day.
********
That night, in Sandrine's :
"I'm telling you B'Ellana...the Captain and Commander were both acting like the cat that got the cream so to speak. I don't know what we missed, but it had to have been something good." Tom told her while sipping his drink.
B'Ellana glared at him, "Tom, you always think that you've seen something between them, and you know as well as I do that the Captain and Chakotay are alot closer than they let on."
Tom leaned forward over the table towards her. "B'Ellana, you did not see them! I've never seen them like this. Captain Janeway did not even look at any of the reports she was given, she sorta blinked, and then signed them off without a glance at what the report was. Have you ever seen her do that?"
Interested now, B'Ellana leaned over close to him. "Really? She just signed off on the reports without reading them? You're right...something is definately up."
*********
Inside the Captain's quarters:
Kathryn stretched her body sensously in the shower. The delightfully hot water ran down over her body in a welcome caress.
*I can't remember the last time I felt like this.* she thought to herself. *My entire body is so wonderfully sore.* Grinning wickedly to herself, she turned off the spray and wrapping a large, soft white towel around herself, she stepped out into her bedroom. Drying off, she put on a long, flowing midnight blue silk gown and matching robe. As she dried her hair, her thoughts strayed to the night before.
*I should have done that months ago.* she grinned to herself. *If I had known what I was missing, I would never have held him off for so long.*
Her hair dried, Kathryn walked into the main room of her quartes and moved over to the replicator. She quietly ordered a hot cup of coffee and sat down on the couch to read a novel she had found in the ship's computer. She was unable to concentrate on the book however, her thoughts continued to stray to her First Officer and the events in the Holodeck.
She had not been certain whether or not he would even show up, and when the door had opened, admitting him into the holo-suite she had created, her first reaction had been one of sudden panic. *What if he had recognized you? What would you have done then? More importantly, what would HE have done?* she wondered.
Her hesitation had faded quickly as she moved closer to him, felt his firm, strong body agains hers. His lips against her skin. She had found herself unable to think, ruled by what she was feeling, what she wanted. Kathryn smiled to herself.
Finally, she got up and went to bed, where she dreamed erotic images of herself and Chakotay. Their bodies entwined together. One heatbeat, one body, one soul.
********
At the same time, in Chakotay's quarters:
All day long, he had been plauged by thoughts of the mysterious woman from the night before. Trying not to be too obvious, he had carefully gone through the crew register, searching for the names of all female crew members who matched his memory of his secret lover. He had been unable to find more than 5 women who matched the woman's height. Kathryn, an Ensign in Engineering, and a Lt. from Astometrics.
He has a hard time looking Kathryn in the eyes all day. Feelings of guilt had welled up inside him as soon as he looked at her beautiful face during the morning staff meeting. He kept thinking about how he would feel if she had done something like that and he found out. *I have to find who she was, and explain to her that what happened was a mistake. That it can not happen again. * he thought desparately to himself.
Even as his heart told him this, his body said otherwise. Last night had without doubt been the most incredibly erotic night he had ever experienced. Never could he remember being so excited or having had such a powerful climax. His mind kept replaying the events of the night before over and over. By the end of the day, he was so emotionally charged that he had left the bridge and gone directly to his quarters, unable to face Kathryn and unwilling to be around anyone else.
Finally, he feel asleep..his dreams full of erotic images of a beautiful woman, reliving the night before. The only difference was that in his dream, instead of a faceless, nameless woman in his arms, when he looked up to see her face, the woman in his arms was Kathryn Janeway.
******
The following day, Chakotay arranged his schedule so that he was able to run into both Ensign Monahan in Engineering, and Lt. Tomas from Astrometrics. Both meetings were disappointing for him as he was not able to tell if either of them had been the mysterious woman. He was frustrated by his inability to discover her identity. During each encounter, he had made several comments meant to see if either woman would give herself away, but neither of them had responded to him as he had hoped.
*I can't believe that I can't find her, this isn't that big a ship. She is onboard here somewhere.and I will find her!* he promised himself.
*******
Two days later, in the Captain's Ready Room:
Captain Janeway sat at her desk, trying to read several reports that she had been putting off for the past week. She could not keep her mind on what she was doing though, her thoughts continually strayed to Chakotay. She was aware of his efforts to find the woman he had loved in the holodeck. She had watched him accessing the ship's crew registry, and compile a short list of women who she assumed he thought could have been her. At first, it had been almost comical watching him come up with any excuse to leave the bridge in order to go and check out his possiblities. Now....
Damn the man!* she thought, irritated. *I can't get him out of my head. Is he just doing this to get me back for being sneaky, or does he really have no idea that it was me?*
She tossed the PADD she was trying to read aside and stood up. She paced over to the replicator, and ordered herself a cup of coffee. As she wandered back to her desk, sipping at her drink, the door chime sounded.
Without looking, she called "Come in."
The door opened to admit the one person she did NOT to see. Commander Chakotay smiled softly at her as he walked over and sat down in front of her desk.
"I have the sensor reports you wanted Captain." he told her. "We have not detected any other ships in the area. There are 4 star systems near-by, but none of them appear to be inhabited."
Without looking at him fully, she replied, "Thank you Commander, just add it to the pile there, and I'll get to it as soon as I can."
Chakotay set the PADD down on her desk, on top of a large pile of PADD's waiting for her attention. He looked at her, concerned. Chakotay knew something was bothering her, just not what that something was. He walked around her desk and stood in front of her, forceing her to look at him.
"Kathryn, what's wrong?" he asked softly.
"Nothing is wrong, I just have alot of work to catch up on." she snapped at him.
"I know you better than that," he said. "You haven't been down to eat for the last several days, and you're spending almost all of you're time in here. You can't have slept for more than a few hours at most. Tell me what is wrong, it's part of my job to help you."
As he spoke, a hot spark of anger roar through her. She slammed the PADD she was holding down on her desk and turned to glare at him. Her eyes blazed with anger, "Don't you dare stand there and tell me that! I don't need you to keep track of what I eat or how much I sleep like I was some small child!"
Standing up, she forcefully pressed him back away from her.
"Kathryn, calm down..." he tried to say.
She interupted him furiously. "Don't tell me to calm down! How dare you stand here in front of me and feed me your 'I know you...I care about you...I'm worried about you' speech! I can take care of myself, and I don't need this from you."
She was almost in tears. *He comes in here and gives me his I know you and I care about you speech, but he did not recognize me and he can't even see that it was me now. When we are so close that I can almost feel his touch on my skin, feel his arms around me.* she thought almost hysterical.
Chakotay was astonished. He couldn't believe that she was this upset. Looking at her face, he was shocked to see unshed tears welling up in her eyes. *My god, she must have found out about that night somehow..* he thought disjointedly. Backing up from her verbal attack, he stammered out "Kathryn, I'm sorry. I don't know what I did to upset you so much. I never meant to cause this."
"Just leave me alone Commander. I don't want to talk to you right now. Dismissed." she turned away from him and moved to stand at the portal, looking out at the passing stars.
Softly, Chakotay whispered "Yes Ma'am" , with that he turned and walked out.
***************
Four Weeks Later:
***************
The tension between the ship's two Commanding Officers had grown steadily. Neither of them spoke more than a few, terse words to each other and then only in a work capacity. No one saw
either Captain Janeway or Commander Chakotay except during duty shifts. Off-duty, each retired to their quarters and remained inside alone with their thoughts.
Even though she had been relieved that Chakotay had not realized who she was at first, Kathryn found herself dwelling on that night. Later, as time went by and it became more obvious to her that he was obsessed with finding his "mystery woman", she began to feel irritated and angry.
*Why didn't he recognize me?* she thought to herself angrily. *He sits beside me everyday. He always stays so close to me. I would know him anywhere. I know his smell, his feel. How could he not know who I was?!*
She was convinced that he did know who she was, and that he was feigning ignorance of it, for what reason, she did not know. The more time went by, the worse she felt. She was exhausted, and found herself wanting to sleep at all hours of the day. Also, her stomach was upset and she could not eat much of anything without becomeing nausous.
Sitting in her command chair, Kathryn was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. The bridge felt stuffy to her. She shifted uncomfortably, a slight groan escaping her.
Chakotay had noticed that she seemed sick. He was worried about her. Kathryn had not been eating right for the last several weeks. He had check the computer logs earlier that day and realized that she had not eaten hardly anything for the last 2 weeks. From the shadows under her eyes, he would quess that she had not slept much during that time either.
Making up his mind, Chakotay leaned over to her and softly said, "Kathryn, are you alright?"
She flinched slightly at his words. Turning to look harshly at him, she answered "I am fine Commander." With that, Kathryn turned back to the Engineering report she was trying to read.
She doen't look fine to me, she looks terrible.* he thought in concern.
Carefully, he assessed her apperance, trying to do so without her notice. Kathryn's skin seemed unusually pale. Her face, thinner, drawn with exhaustion. There were dark purple shadows under her eyes, makeing her face seem almost sunken. She seemed to be breathing heavily, although he was not able to find a cause. The more he watched her, the more concerned and upset Chakotay became.
*Could she have found out about that night somehow?* he wondered, not for the first time.
Thinking about it for a moment, he came to the conclusion that she had been withdrawn for some time, but he could not place just when the change in her attitude came over her. He knew that he had been avoiding being alone with her, because he felt so guilty over his actions that night five weeks ago in the Holodeck.
A low stangled moan brought his attention back to the bridge. He looked at Kathryn, alarmed to see that if anything, she looked worse.
"Captain, are you certain that you don't need to go to sickbay? You're awfully pale." he said gently.
He was totally unprepared for her responce.
"Damn it Chakotay! I've already answered that once today!" she snapped.
As she spoke, Kathryn stood up and wheeled around heading for her Ready Room. Before she had taken four steps, she suddenly staggered. Her hand rose to her head pressing against her forehead. She groaned aloud, an agonized sound and swayed dizzily.
Chakotay jumped to his feet and headed towards her, frightened. "Kathryn!" he exclaimed. Before he was able to go more than a step, she turned to look at him. Her face had gone deathly white, and her eyes were glazed. Without another sound, she collapsed to the deck.
Chakotay reached her side in an instant. He cradled her against him in his arms. Turning to Harry, he ordered tersely, "Beam us to SickBay, now!"
Harry was already busy at the controls, as he activated the transport, he sent a message to the Doctor, informing the EMH of the Captain's sudden collapse.
**********
Materializing in Sick Bay, Chakotay quickly carried the Captain to the nearest biobed, where he gently laid her down. The Doctor impatiently ordered Chakotay out of the examining area as he began to run a tricorder over her still form.
Chakotay stepped back, his heart full of fear and remorse that he had not been there to see that she was in such a state.
*This is my fault,* he thought in agony. *I should have been there, I should have seen this sooner. I knew something was wrong after she snapped at me that day in her Ready Room. I shouldn't have backed off, I should have made her talk to me and found out what was wrong.*
He waited outside the examining area, pacing the room. At last, the EMH stepped out.
"Well, how is she? What is wrong?" Chakotay demanded to know.
"Relax Commander," came the EMH's responce. "Captain Janeway will be alright. She is merely suffering from a slight imbalance in her blood stream. She is also dehydrated. I have given her a supplemental booster which will restore the correct balance to her system. I have also given her a mild sedative and she is currently resting. Once she awakens, I will prescibe a diet that she must follow in order to prevent a reoccurance of this while she is in this condition."
Confused and worried, Chakotay shook his head slightly, his brow furrowed. "What condition is that? What is it? How seriously ill is she?"
"You misunderstand me Commander, Captain Janeway is not ill at all. She is suffering from morning sickness...in other words, she is approximately 5 weeks pregnant."
The Doctors words totally stunned Chakotay. He felt as if he had been punched in the gut. A hot, heavy pain settled over his heart.
*How could she? All this time, she has been leading me on. Always holding me back, while flirting with me. And behind my back, she has a lover.. She is PREGNANT!*
Unable to speak, Chakotay turned on his heel and stormed out of sickbay.
*************************
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On to Part Three