Reality

by

Basil Destiny

Reality really does suck. But the part that sucks the most is when you wake up. When you sleep, you are peacefully oblivious to reality. People who are long dead come to life and speak to you. You can be whoever you want to be. You forget whatever has happened to you. You forget whatever barriers life has really created for you.

Personally, I hate waking up because I forget that Chris has died. I’ll often have dreams about him. And I’m truly happy again. I realized looking at old pictures of Abby and Chris that she will never again have that kind of happiness again. And I never will either. I may attain some sort of happiness, but not the happiness of having a whole family. Mom will never be the same either. And I suppose that’s because things are constantly changing.

A friend told me that he was getting tired of people complaining that the everything is changing. That they should just shut-up and get used to it. And realize that everything will change. But I don’t think that it is ever that easy to change. He keeps things that should be close to him at arm’s length so that he won’t have to worry about change. But I think that if the things closest to him changed, he might be feeling the same way. Upset by the change. The thing that I am so tired of is that he wants everyone to realize some bigger picture. But that bigger picture is always changing too. And that’s not something that someone can grasp just out of the blue. I suppose he expects too much out of people and I expect too little. And currently these two opposites are causing a huge problem in our friendship.

I’m not really sure what that has to do with reality. Perhaps that it’s my reality. And then at times, I expect so much. And I generalize myself too much. And I wonder if I really am that different from everyone else. But I guess that you still fit into categories after High School. Who knows.