An Apology

I hereby formally apologize to Dallas Animefest, its organizers, its sponsors and all others associated with it that I left people with the impression that its fan fiction contest was dishonest. This is far from the truth. I was completely satisfied with Ms. Krista Fisk's assurances that everything about the contest was honest.

I would like to explain how I came to such an erroneous conclusion, however. The first piece of evidence came Friday shortly after I arrived. After retrieving my badge, I heard someone state that one of the winners, Ryo Hija, had been a judge. I did not mention this because there was no evidence to back this up; in fact, when I heard it, I thought that it was not true. The second piece of evidence was this: I was unable to locate the fan fiction awards ceremony on the list. Saturday, I asked several members of the staff when this was being held. I was eventually led to a woman named Mary. She only had this on her nametag. While we walked around, we talked about the fan fiction contest. She stated that if the Animefest staff had liked my story, they would have called me up and asked me if I would like to volunteer for Animefest. Her tone and body language implied that if I wanted to win, I had to be on the staff. Further evidence came just before the fanfiction contest awards themselves. I had spoken to an African-American woman who had asked me which story I had submitted. When I informed her of the story, she stated, "Oh, I remember that one." (Those were her exact words.) She later revealed herself as Ryo Hija. I have not posted this story online; I have not told anyone other than my primary beta reader about this, and he has assured me that he has not talked to anyone about this. The only way Ms. Ryo Hija could have known of this story is to either have been a judge, or been shown the story by one of the Animefest staff members. I had also been informed that the honorable mention person, Ebon Magician, was in charge of the Magic: The Gathering contest. More evidence came at the end of the awards. I had asked Michelle who the contest judges were. She stammered for a bit, and then asked why I wanted to know this. When I had informed her, she stammered some more, and then stated that only she and Ms. Fisk were judges. However, her body language and tone of voice left doubts in my mind. Anyone who has studied non-verbal language and psychology (essential for good writing) would initially conclude that such actions were an indication of lying. However, such a reaction can occur when confronted with a question that one is not prepared to receive. This, after talking to Ms. Fisk at the gripe session, I am convinced, was the case. As one can see, the evidence is flimsy at best. It would require tracking people down that probably would not agree with my story.

Additionally, I had received an e-mail from Ms. Fisk stating that I was banned from Dallas Animefest fanfic contests until I formally apologized for accusing her of any impropriety. She also accused me of "sour grapes" and "being malicious." This is not true. Never had I stated my fan fiction was better than the winners were; in fact, the fan fiction stories that did win were better than mine were. I did not mean to imply this either. Admittedly I wrote in an esoteric fandom (Doki Doki School hours) and did not explain the fandom completely; to do so would have gone over the word limit stated in the rules. Under no circumstances was I attempting to be malicious in any manner; I simply had doubts about the honesty of this contest, and I wanted the truth. I did not state at the gripe session that I was satisfied with Ms. Fisk's explanation, and for this, I do apologize. I should have done so.

I also know that this has made some people uneasy and that people may hesitate to enter the next Dallas Animefest fan fiction contest. To them I say I am truly sorry for placing such doubts in your minds, and I wish to erase them completely. Please submit your stories with the full knowledge that everything about the contest is completely honest.

I also wish to issue an additional apology to Katsu. I was at the 2005 Dallas Animefest fan fiction workshop, in which she stated she had been "the judge." She either failed to mention this was another convention's fan fiction contest or I had missed this. (It was more likely that I had missed her saying that it was at another convention.) She deserved to win her awards, and there was her winning was the result of carefully constructing her stories. As per her request, I have removed the fan MiSTing of her story. I had e-mailed her requesting permission for this; however, since she did not respond to this e-mail, I decided to post that story anyway. I was wrong to do so, and should have thought more carefully about this. As for the petition, the website's hosts (petition online) immediately closed it before anyone could sign it. It was only up for about 24 hours at most.

I also wish to apologize to Shannon Deonier. The rumor that she might have been a judge was just that – an unfounded rumor. I heard this from a fan, who was most likely embittered about not winning. The truth is that she deserved to win all her awards, and her winning was completely honest as well.

Additionally, I also want to apologize to all other previous Dallas Animefest fan fiction contest winners. I did not mean to imply there was any impropriety on your part. I never stated that anyone else other than Katsu or Shannon might have been a judge. All winners deserved to win, and I did not. I am not too proud to admit when I am wrong, and I am wrong here.

I sincerely hope that all parties involved will accept this apology. In a world where dishonesty and corruption seem to grow daily, it is nice to know that there are people out there who still value morals and ethics.