JOKES!!!

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How do you know there is a Sardar at a cock-fight?
He brings the duck.

How do you know there is an Italian at a cock-fight?
He bets on the duck.

How do you know Saddam Hussein is at a cock-fight?
The duck wins.

Banta: When did George Washington die ?
Santa:Two days before his Funeral

2 Sardarji's got fed up with the Indian Govt and decided to blow up the parliament. They take 2 bombs, put them in a suitcase in the front seat of their car and set off.
One asks the other "What happens if the bombs blast off now"
The other says "Don't worry. I have a spare bomb in the back seat!"

Q: What is the sardarji doing when he holds his hands tightly over his ears?
A: Trying to hold on to a thought.

Q: Why did the sardarji stare at frozen orange juice can for 2 hours?
A: Because it said 'concentrate'.

No Speed Limit!

One day the Pope is coming to America in his Limo and he said to the driver, "Why don't you let me drive for once." The driver thinks to him self, "Well I can't say no to this guy, he's the pope." So the driver pulls over and they change places. The Pope was having fun, hauling butt down the freeway, dogging cars. After a while the driver taps on the window and tells the Pope, "slow down a bit, you might get pulled over." The Pope says, "ahhh, don't worry about it, I'm the Pope." So he rolls up the window and continues to drive very fast. After a few moments he gets pulled over. The cop walks to the car and the Pope rolls down the tinted window. The cop sees the Pope and says, "oh, I, ehhh, sorry, can you hold on a minute."The Pope says, "sure"

The cop walks back to his car and radios back to the station. He says, "guys I just pulled over some one really important."

They ask who, "The President?"

"No more important."

"The president of another country?"

"No more important."

"An ambassador."

"No even more important."

"Well who is it?"

"I don't know, but the Pope is the chauffeur!"

Safe And Sound

A group of friends who went deer hunting separated into pairs for the day. That night, one hunter returned alone, staggering under a huge buck. "Where's Harry?", asked another hunter.

"He fainted a couple miles up the trail," Harry's partner answered. "You left him lying there alone and carried the deer back?"

"It was a tough decision," said the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Harry."

Henry Kissinger

This is a pretty elegant joke that praises the political skills of Henry Kissinger (US Secretary of State in the 70s) Kissinger goes to see a poor man and says, "I want to arrange a marriage for your son." The poor man replies, "I never interfere in my son's life." Kissinger responds, "But the girl is Lord Rothscild's daughter." "Well, in that case..."

Next Kissinger approaches Lord Rothschild. "I have a husband for your daughter." "But my daughter is too young to marry." "But this young man is already a vice president of the World Bank." "Ah, in that case..."

Finally Kissinger goes to see the president of the World Bank. "I have a young man to recommend you as a vice president." "But I already have more vice presidents than I need." "But this young man is Lord Rothschild's son-in-law." "Ah, in that case....."

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