1. 3,000 unwrapped twinkies with no cream filling.
2. 10,000 cans of spray chees.......emptied
3. One million 2-headed pennies
4. 20,000 sets of connected olympic hoola hoops
5. One million sheets of paper individually wrapped with the word supercalifragilistic written in the center of the front and expialidotious written in the center of the back....hand written by an 80-year-old man
6. Every shoe available at K-Mart in every size but not the pair just the left shoe
7. One million completely different decks of playboy playing cards
8. 10,000 4 gallon bottles of nitrus oxide....wiht convenient tube/face-mask combinations attached
9. 10,000 boxes of individually flavored condoms, each made to taste like a different skittles flavor (a different flavor of the rainbow!!)
10. 6,969 different colored sweedish made penis enlarger pumps
11. 57,396 halves of green peanut butter M&Ms
12. 3,965,393 dead watch batteries
13. 9,999 black light bulbs instaleld in granby high school by Bob Villa
14. 20,000,000 miniature models of factories that make miniature models of factories
15. 19,000,000 radioactive aids-infested African chimps....each in their own doggy-carrying case
16. 395,923,674 African waste dump infected flying monkeys like the ones from the Wizard of Oz
17. 3,000,000,000 different colored, different sized, different fabric shoe laces put on our left K-mart shoes
18. 3,000 biographies of Pee-Wee Herman written by Oprah...each one personally autographed by Jerry Garcia and Elvis
19. Every Crayola crayon produced must have the word "scrotum" after the name of the color...like....blue scrotum...or pink scrotum....
20. 1 left handed desk just for Drake
21. All bikes in production are to be made without wheels...they should have squares with rubber wrapped around them instead
22. Jon wants the guerilla Amy from the movie Congo
23. Drake and Jon each want a set of matching yellow hats and jackets like the ones from Dick Tracey
24. Wesley Pipes from Half-Baked
25. A ball of 2-sided tape.....100 feet in diameter
26. 1,000 feet of christmas lights with all the bulbs burnt out
27. 3,574,392 dry erase markers that dont work
28. 3,000,000 greyhounds with all their hair shaved off and 3,000,000 boxes of rogaine...
29. 157,396,475,030 pieces of 0.7mm pencil lead each 2cms in length
30. 3,000,000 mouse balls
31. 15,000,000 lawn sigbns that say: "The person who made this is gay".
32. 15,000,000,000 tardy logs filled up with signatures by Jerry Garcia and some guy named Mike Huntz
33. 9,000 jars of blue mayonnaise
34. 1,000,000 mechanical pencil erasers
35. One ton of real human ass hair....dumped on Cookie-puss after he was soaked with honey
36. 1,000 retarded alchoholic giraffes
37. 1,000,000 feet of unsliced pepperoni
38. We want Mini-me
39. Ralph Nader should be president
40. Marijuana should be legalized in all states
41. 3,000,000 feet of bungee cord
42. We want a van made entirely out of weed just like the one in Up in Smoke
43. We want Tony Hawk to be our PE teacher
44. We want a phone sex service to be made which is run by 80-year old women stationed out of the "Old Cuntz Retirement Home"
45. We want Eric Devault(Cookiepuss) to be the spokesperson for a new line of ass dildos
46. We want Eric Devault(Cookiepuss) to be the leader of some transvestike civil rights movement
47. 1,000,000 pairs of hand-cuffs linked together in a long chain
48. We want the president to go on TV and declare that him and Richard Simmons are lovers.
49. We want all of the obese people in America to join a huge marathon in which they run up massive amounts of steps. Whoever wins gets a cheeseburger and free heart surgery for the heart attack they would have.
50. We want Christopher Lowell to be the editor of Maxum
51. We want 3,397,691 ashtrays from Wendy's
52. We want "sporks" to have a butter knife on the handle, then they'd by "butter sporks thingamajiggys"
53. We want all of the numbers on clocks and watches to be letters instead...A would be 1, etc...
54. All TV's in the world should get free spice
55. We want Mr. Fenley to have the time spot in front of Christopher Lowell's gay ass interior design show
56. ALL of the Tims in the world should be shredded and turned into Vans