Title: Once More

Author: Amber

Category: MSR, vignette, Scully POV

Author’s Webpage: http://www.geocities.com/mulderz_girl

Email Feedback to: mulders_girl42@hotmail.com

Spoilers: "Requiem", slight for "Max" – see if you can catch it J

Disclaimer: The X-Files, Mulder, Scully – all things which belong to Chris Carter & company

I am merely utilizing them to my advantage. Please don’t sue L

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Here I stand. How could I have let this happen?

Seconds pass. Tick. Tick. Tick.

My fingers tremble in tune with the fleeting moments. I fear I may drop my coffee cup. It slips from my grasp, the ceramic exploding as it comes in contact with my kitchen floor. Shards fly about like a pipe bomb aftermath. I can’t decide whether the aforementioned has actually taken place, or was a surreal delusion.

My breath is taken from me, as I am suddenly unaware of my surroundings.

Falling. I think I am falling. Darkness envelops me. Sinking. I am sinking.

Where are you? I search for your presence in this abyss. My eyes are closed, so I utilize every one of my compensatory sensations. I remember what your seemingly eternal bearing has taught me. Look beyond what is within reach. Employ that which is above the realms of human possibility. Dare to dream.

A steady reel of images flares before my eyes.

<i>Flash!</i> Lights. Bright lights. <i>Flash!</i> The crucifix. <i>Flash!</i> Your sister, Samantha. She is grinning brightly. <i>Flash!</i> Emily, smiling shyly. <i>Flash!</i> Me. Crying. <i>Flash!</i> Our embrace. <i>Flash!</i>You. Mouthing something. I can’t discern the words. I reach out. You reach back. I’m crying again. I know it.

You’re here. You’re here! I can feel it. I can sense it. My outstretched arms extend to embrace you, as you vanish like a wisp of smoke within my grasp.

Smoke. An unpleasant feeling courses through my veins. Hate. Is it hatred?

I am sobbing now. My body wretches as I continue my descent into blackness. I plunge for quite some time, wet tears soaking my cheeks.

Suddenly, specks of light seep through the murkiness. I am surrounded by a warm, comforting glow. Pink. The light, which permeates through my eyelids, is of a pinkish hue.

For the first time in my descent, I hear something. It begins a low murmur, which eventually swells in intensity. Singing. A child’s singing. Laughing. A high pitched squeal of delight. I hug my stomach, as the comforting warmth emanates from within my womb.

My journey halts, and the weight from my eyes is lifted. I open them to see your face. I will myself to believe that the privilege of sound has been taken from me, as I once again hear nothing.

However, I come to realize that you are not speaking. I am not speaking. Nothing in the world matters aside from the fact that you are smiling. You are here. You place your ear against my lower abdomen. Briefly.

I am left with the image of you smiling. I am rejuvenated. I may, once more, face the world.