[I dedicate that one to my friend Kirsten
"Oh sweet heaven's to Betsy!" cried Mogs (Or words to that effect ;p)
"Just what we need with Chigs and Fox executives roaming the ship, two more unexplained and possibly hostile visitors!"
Sooty; who decided it was about time that this bunch of lunatics were reminded that they were, in actual fact, Marines; took aim at the retreating rear end of one guinea pig and prepared to fire.
Una, noticing his actions, knocked the weapon aside just at the last moment, causing the assembled warriors to duck and curse as a .45mm conker went whizzing round the hangar bay, holing the canopies of several Hammerheads before coming to rest lodged in the bulkhead.
"DON'T SHOOT THAT THING IN HERE!"
Everyone turned to glare at her. Straightening her back, the VH glared right back.
"Well, which one of you would volunteer to clean the bits of exploded piggy off the deck, bulkhead, upper bulkhead......"
Strangely enough, the squad seemed suddenly to find their boots extremely interesting....
A while later, as the Marines were milling around, wondering what to do next, Soups came up with an idea.
"Hmmm.....shouldn't we actually be tracking the er....piggies? We wouldn't want them to come to any har....er.......cause any damage would we?"
"How do we do that?"
"Well, how about we station people at crucial intersections with their ear to the decking - someone is bound to pick up on the vibrations as they chase that barrel."
"Great idea Soups. Let's do it!"
Una divided the available man-power (er....sorry....person-power ;P) into groups of three and sent them off to their listening stations. She, Mogs and Soups headed two sections over and one aft to do their duty.
Mogs had pulled the short straw and ended up on lying on her stomach with one ear pressed to the deck plates. Soups and Una stood guard, one behind and one in front of her, weapons drawn and ready for (just about) anything.
Which was just as well, for at that exact moment.............
2nd Lt Mogs 'Spooky' Moore - Cyan5, 20 Aug 1998 22:00
.......1st Lt and Classified communications Officer Daniel Ratcliffe fell through the ceiling! He took Una and Soups down as he landed, but as Mogs was down already, she was safe.
Well, relatively safe. Of course she did now have 3 marines on her back, but at least she couldn't see the horror that had landed! Soups got up and threw Daniel away quickly.
"What the hell do you think you are doing, young...er...Marine?" she asked in her best Motherly voice.
"Errr......nothing?" Daniel asked in reply. As Una and Mogs climbed to their feet they noticed that Daniel was carrying a bag with him.
"Daniel! You were sneaking a battery to the AI's?" Una asked, shocked.
Daniel hiccuped.
"No?" Mogs asked "what was it then? Copies of your top-notch magazine to distribute to the Chigs roaming the ship?"
Daniel hiccuped again.
"Just a second....are you drunk?" Jan asked.
"That's the one! *hic* I knew I'd remember it sooner or later!" Daniel stumbled over his words. "Hi! I'm drunk!"
He fell over backwards, the weight of the 24 cans of Strongbow in his bag finally becoming too much for him.
"Ohhhh....that's a pretty hole up there! What made that?"
The other marines, about to beat him senseless, stopped, and realised they didn't know what it was that had brought him down, apart from perhaps the sheer weight of his bag.
Una and Mogs lifted Soups up so that she could get a better look at the hole. As she got her head up through the hole...
Daniel Ratcliffe, 21 Aug 1998 00:16
(Sorry Wiena, not even PG-13, but a contribution nonetheless!)
> Which was just as well, for at that exact moment..........<
..... Ru, ancient Marine Mark and Werrf were coming down the corridor, chased by the enormous Piggies.
Soups stood transfixed as she watched the advancing Marines running towards her, as Ru's flight suit and Werrf's kilt offered some very nice *perspectives* of male physique.
The XO, turning around to see what the noise was all about, almost gaped as well and when she came to her senses she had the grace to pull Soups and Mogs out of the way.
Hiding in an air vent, Una and Mogs grabbed the first of the Marines passing by, while Soups stood watch to count off the seconds till the piggies would reach them....
".... eight, seven.... five..." Soups counted breathlessly.
Una nodded towards her sis and then they pulled the last one, Mark into the small opening as the piggies crashed by.
"Oh, thanks, Vice Honch .." Mark said, puffing smoke from his cigar everywhere .
"And what were you three supposed to be doing there?" The XO asked sternly.
"You were supposed to recon mid decks 13, 14 and 15!"
Mark, with a nonchalant wave of his hand, getting rid of the cigar ash, grinned at her. "We did so, Ma'am, but the piggies forced us to retreat..."
"I'd rather say you scuttle bugged, Major. You came running down like the proverbial Avalanche"
Mark bowed. "Ma'am, yes, Ma'am ... This Marine has to live up to his name ..." Major Avalanche answered.
Werrf and Ru, having discovered their dishevelled state of dress or rather undress, quickly tried to hide that very fact, while Mogs and Soups grinned.
"Well I wish they had something of McQueen," Soups whispered and both female Marines smiled devilishly.
"Now, what are we going to do, Una" Ru asked. "Perhaps we should use Honcho's Babe magnet ... it might turn out to be a piggie magnet as well ..."
Una frowned. The Babe magnet ... Hmm, that would be an idea, she thought. But where was the Honcho again?
Una, 21 Aug 1998 01:55
All this racket woke the TechSgt, who got out of her beanbag nest and wandered rather sleepily out into the corridor to see what all the noise was about........
TechSgt Mexal, 21 Aug 1998 12:31
>As she got her head up through the hole...<
"ARGH!" Daniel jumped up, smacking his head on the low bulkhead. "Where the hell am I?" he thought. Looking around didn't help, everything was dark, and his eyes were itching.
He realised that, for some unknown reason, he had a parking cone over his head. Not only that, but he was sure he could remember a group of scantily clad women. No,that was another dream. He remembered a group of female Marines. "Female marines?" he thought, "strange."
One of them had put their head through into an air vent, and
then..."EWWWW!" he shouted. He decided to put the strange dream behind him, and try to find out where he was. Taking the parking cone off, he realised that he was in a broom cupboard somewhere.
He knocked the door open, and fell through into a corridor of the
Magellan. As he tried to get his bearings a herd (?) of pigs came storming down the corridor, knocking him flat on his face.
This was one hell of a hangover.
Daniel Ratcliffe, 21 Aug 1998 14:13
>Following close behind were three enourmous piggies, and from the look of them they'd already managed to down some of the forbidden liquor. The marines stood stock still, until.......<
"Oh, yeah! Meat at last. Let's go get those pigs!" Said Andrzej taking a gun to his hands...
Andrzej Korcala, 21 Aug 1998 16:05
Kirsten was convinced this was a nightmare. It couldn't be anything else.
When she saw three long-clawed fluffy monsters in hot pursuit of a whiskey barrel she'd been absolutely sure it was just an imagination inflicted by a serious lack of caffein and the after effects of last nights Bulmers Cider session.
But then a tiny glimmer of vague recognition hit her, she'd seen
those furballs before. Recognition came slow, for she was used to see the piggies from far above and never from beneath or face to snout.
"Argh!" she gagged unheard in the confusion.
Then terrible images came to her.... if they found her..... they'd... awful tasting medicine being forced down her mouth.... being brushed whether she liked it or not... being grabbed unexpectedly out of the cage and brought to a person in white with many needles......
Shit, if they'd get her, she'd be really pissed! Literally speaking.
This was The Revenge Of The Guinea Pigs!
Making a unconscious "Mwaaaaah!"-sound of panic, she sprinted after the others in hot pursuit of the piggies which themselves galopped behind the precious barrel.
There had to be a way to stop them and make them small again! What the hell did they eat to grow 100 times bigger than usual?! She was sure there was a thing to reverse the process of growing and save her thereby of the cruel fate of being pig-handled, the barrel from being sucked empty and the ship and the crew from encounters with guinea pigs droppings 100 time bigger than usual.
But first they had to be caught. For lacking a body 16 meters in
height the notion of just grabbing them was to be dismissed.
What had worked all the time to get their attention? Yes! The sound of a fridge being opened would work fine. (Or so she hoped.)
Enthusiastically she galopped in the direction of the mess hall,
rounded a corner and skittered to a full stop when she saw....
Kirsten Harms, 21 Aug 1998 22:30
*gratefully dedicated to Soups*
>All this racket woke the TechSgt, who got out of her beanbag nest and wandered rather sleepily out into the corridor to see what all the noise was about........<
"Err Hello," said the Black Chrysanthemum shyly, "I'm new here and I don't know what I'm supposed to be doing. But is it usual for the ship to be awash with giant guinea pigs, rolling whiskey barrels and underclad marines, or is it a special occasion?".
She produced from her supplies bag a box of Belgian chocolates, a
marzipan kebab, and a bag of fruit jellies. It was a kind of nervous reaction to stress.....
The Black Chrysanthemumenumenumenum, 23 Aug 1998 13:24
The TechSgt blinked at the Black Chrysanthemum in a rather bemused manner.
"Hi" she said, "I'm Mexal. Would you like a mug of hot chocolate?.... er, *WHAT* did you say? Giant guinea pigs and whisky barrels? Oh dear, they'll make a horrible mess... you give piggies alcohol and they get VERY sick."
Leaving the Black Chrysanthemum standing holding a steaming mug, the Tech Sgt scampered off to check on the mess.
And ran right into.......?
TechSgt Mexal, 23 Aug 1998 17:45
>She produced from her supplies bag a box of Belgian chocolates, a marzipan kebab, and a bag of fruit jellies. It was a kind of nervous reaction to stress.....<
"The smell of fruit jellies?", Oleg asked himself, "Nah, it can't be... But I must check it out, in case if it's jellies for real!".
Having taken this wise decision, he got up from the bunk and went
for a "reconnaissance mission".
He crept quietly (he started to use this walk since the pigs appeared aboard the Magellan), and stopped near one door.
*Knock-knock*
"May I come in?"
"You may... if you're clad enough", the Black Chrysanthemum answered.
He took a brief look at himself and decided that it was "enough", and came into the room.
"Hi! I'm just.. errr...", he realized that hadn't invented a good reason yet.
"Just smelled a flavor of fruit jellies?", the Black Chrysanthemum tried to help him.
"Well... yes!", he blushed.
"No problem, I have a lot of them and other candies", she smiled
friendly.
Suddenly the door opened with a terrible thunder, and just before Oleg saw who (or what) appeared there, he sighed: "Something always happens when you're on the way for fruit jellies..."
2nd Lieutenant Oleg Izyumenko, 23 Aug 1998 19:28
"...and it was great!", Sergey finished as he and Oleg entered the bar aboard the Magellan.
"Yeah, man, I see you had a cool time on the Bacchus", Oleg said, "Hey Arthur!" Arthur, who was sitting alone, saluted them with a glass of beer.
"May we join you, Big Arthur?", Sergey asked.
"Sure, guys!"
Oleg and Sergey came closer and ordered drinks.
"So, what were you talking about?", Arthur asked.
"Sergey described his adventures on the Bacchus. And 20 percent of his story seems to be true", Oleg grinned.
Sergey looked at him attentively. "Maybe you need some R&R also? You look more thoughtful than usually."
"What? Ahh, no, it's just that it’s the 31st of August...", Oleg
answered.
"And what's wrong with the 31st?", Arthur took another mouthful of beer.
"Well, nothing, but this day always reminds me of the Queen of Hearts."
"Wow, you know Vanessa Damphousse of the WildCards in person?!", Sergey asked excitedly.
"No, I didn't mean the callsign of Vanessa. Have you ever heard of Princess Diana? They called her Queen of Hearts."
"I have studied her bio at school", Arthur answered, "British Princess in the second half of 20th Century, mother of King William V. She did a lot of charity: helped people in hunger and poverty, always had time to talk to ill children, called for a ban on landmines, and many other good deeds".
"Right. And she died kinda young... On the 31st of August, 66 years ago", Oleg sighed.
"I've noticed that some members of the Cyan Wing take her picture on missions. They believe she can protect them as she's an Angel in Heaven", Sergey added.
"Well, I don't know if the stories of Angels are true or not", they suddenly heard the voice behind their backs. The Marines turned around and saw Soups, who continued: "But one thing I do know is that each and everyone of us has a lot of goodness in them - each time I see our Marines I'm reminded of this fact. Our unit has grown from strength to strength, helping each other out, offering support when it's needed and most of all being there for each other. We are *all* special."
The Marines stood up and remained silence. Everyone was thinking that there're so many ways to do good, and it doesn't matter whether one is a Marine, or a Princess, or someone else...
Soups & Oleg, 31 Aug 1998 09:27
The door banged as the TechSgt left. She returned to her quarters to light a candle in memory of Mother Theresa, whose life of good works ended the same day as a certain princess, and hence was eclipsed in much of popular memory.
TechSgt Mexal, 31 Aug 98 15:16
As Big Arthur stood there straight up and fierce he thought
of all of those good people who had to leave suddenly
and unexpected. People who did good things, no great things ...
Big Arthur didn't cry ... that would be a disshonor.
Big Arthur, 2 Sep 1998 10:27
Soups headed for the flight deck to meet the temporary Communications Officer for Matt, who was on leave
(honeymoon). The ISSCV docked and the door opened to
reveal Mr Uhura.
"This has to be an Areotech plot," thought Soups, as
she directed the newest recruit to the bridge.
Meanwhile Jester and Sooty continued on their patrol,
having seperated from the rest of the group, still in
search of the giant guinea pigs. As they crept along
the passage they once again heard a modem sound.
Sooty gestured urgently.
"What?" asked Jester, "Do you know something about
this? I thought that the Sergeant had already dealt
with VA2ECM."
Sooty shook his head and pointed to a partially opened hatch.
Holding her breath, Jester poked her head round the
corner just in time to see VA2ECM leaving via an airduct.
Meantime in a different part of the ship, Werrf, Arthur,
and all the rest who had been getting rather depressed
remembering the past (induced by too much drink)
collapsed in a heap, just as the herd of escaped guinea
pigs raced through the tuntavern.
Soups and Mr Uhura reached the bridge, and Soups,
having shown Uhura to his post, left to continue the
search for the guinea pigs.
The air hatch above Mr Uhura´s head opened and VA2ECM
dropped down.
"I thought you were never coming," VA2ECM exclaimed,
"I was begining to fear assimilation."
"Don't worry," Mr Uhura assured, "Aerotech has other
agents on board."
At this precise moment Una saw a shadowy figure in the
distance, and not recognising it shouted the common
identification test: "Bulldog!"
"Drummond!"
Kate - Sigless in Arolsen, 16 Sep 1998 21:44