Space:AAB "The Christmas Carols"

1. T'was the Night Before Christmas
2. The First AI
3. Sammy the Unknown Wildcard
4. Chiglet Chow
5. Adeste Wildcards (Sung to "Adeste Fideles") (also known as "O' come all ye faithful")
6. Hostile Chigger World (Sung to "Winter Wonderland")
7. The Chigger and the AI (Sung to "The Holly and the Ivy")
8. The Twelve Days of Christmas

1. T'was the Night Before Christmas
----------------------------------------

T'was the night before Christmas, and lightyears from Earth,
The Marine Corp was filled, with liquer and mirth.
Wang was recovered, from his stay with AI's,
Stroud was determined to give him a surprise.
Vansen was sleeping all naked and raw,
With visions of Damphousse massaging her jaw.
Nathan was suffering post traumatic stress,
"Stay with the Dead" muttered the poor loser West.
Hawkes was alone, unshowered and stank,
He didn't know better, he's only a tank.
When out in the hall there arose such a racket,
The 58th awoke ready to attack it!
Cabars in hand, M-590's were hot,
The cool Wildcards were ready to rock.
When into their barracks, stepped their leader McQueen,
Wearing an outfit, that they'd never seen.
Red furry clothing, white flowing mane,
Our heros were shocked, he must be insane.
"LISTEN UP! I'M HERE TO GIVE GIFTS,
BUT THE LZ IS HOT SO WE'LL DO THIS IN SHIFTS.
I BOUGHT THEM AND WRAPPED THEM, NO EXPENSE HAS BEEN SPARED,
OH, ONE MORE THING, IT'S OK TO BE SCARED."
He handed out packages, to all of our heros,
But Nathan got nothing, Zilch, Nada, Zero.
With a twinkling eye, his old hand reached back,
Pulled Kylen Cylen out of his pack.
"HERE YOU GO WEST. I KNEW YOU'D WANT THIS.
HERE TAKE HER HAND. GIVE HER A KISS."
West pulled out his gun and blew her away,
There'd be no hanky panky for Nathan today.
"WEST ARE YOU NUTS!?" but he'd nothing to lose,
as she melted away in a puddle of ooze.
Then Nathan turned, took aim at T.C.,
Then blew off his hand, his foot, and his knees.
"WHY DID YOU DO THAT? YOU STUPID DUMB SHMUCK!"
Nathan responded "YOU'RE PLUM OUT OF LUCK!
'CAUSE UNDER YOUR SUIT, YOUR HAT, AND YOUR WIG,
YOU COULD NEVER DISGUISE THE FACT YOU'RE A CHIG!"
With McQueens dying breath, "YOU SURE HOLD A GRUDGE."
Then he melted away into a puddle of sludge.
They never forgot that horrible night,
Whiny old West was finally right.
With the puddles all cleaned, Christmas day could begin,
So they hopped in their cockpits, took their jets for a spin.
But I heard them exclaim as they sped up to light,
"MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL! NOW LETS GO BLOW THE S**T OUT OF THOSE CHIG BASTARDS!"

--- The TechnoNazi

2. The First AI
---------------------
(to the tune of "The First Noel")

The first AI that I ever did see
Was a crippled old model named Feliciti.
Her face was scarred with many a year
As I blew her away I almost shed a tear.

Chorus:
Semper fi, semper fi, Marine Corps do or die.
Never fails to wring a tear from my eye.

As Hawkes and West were flying patrol
Hawkes got bored and went into a fine barrel roll.
When at three o'clock such a sight he did see
Three silicate ships just as plain as can be.

*Chorus*

The three AI's were closing in fast
And suddenly West had two more on his ass.
He screamed in rage and turned his ship 'round.
With clearest intent, the AI's to pound.

*Chorus*

Just then there came from out of the sun
The rest of the Wildcards with blazing guns.
They set their targets, prepared to engage
And entered the battle they set forth to wage.

*Chorus*

At last, the AI's were so much debris
That Vansen and Damphousse sang out with glee.
They set their course and spaced out of sight
For to tell McQueen of their gloroius fight.

*Chorus*

The last AI that I ever did see
Was a newer and costlier Feliciti.
Her scathing words unto me she said
"When we next meet up, you will wish you were dead."

Semper fi, semper fi, Marine Corps do or die.
Never fails to wring a tear from my eye.

--- David French

3. Sammy the Unknown Wildcard
---------------------------------------
(to the tune of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer")

You know Vansen and Damphousse, and T.C. McQueen
Hawkes, Wang, and West are all faces you've seen.
But do you recall
The most wonderful Marine of all.

Sammy the unknown Wildcard
Had a very dull career.
And if you ever saw him
He was flying in the rear.

All of the other Wildcards
Used to bow their heads in shame.
Sammy had no confirmed kills
Even worse, he had no nickname.

Then one boring Tuesday eve
T.C. came to say:
"Sammy, check your six out there.
Oh yeah: It's OK to be scared."

But Sammy didn't listen
To the words of ol' McQueen.
Now he's the Unknown Wildcard
He's the most unknown marine!

---David French

4. Chiglet Chow
---------------------
(to the tune of "Jingle Bells")

Dashing through the aisles
   with my 3-page shopping list.
Of all the junk I've bought
   there's one thing that I missed.
Shelves and shelves of food
   a natural-born's delight.
But if I don't find Chiglet Chow
   I can't go home tonight.

Chorus:
Oh, Chiglet Chow, Chiglet Chow
   raise your Chigs up right!
Oh what fun to watch your Chigs
   ingest some Chow tonight!
Oh, Chiglet Chow, Chiglet Chow
   vets, they all agree.
Chiglet Chow will make them glow
   it's great for them and me.

Finally found a bag
   hiding in aisle four.
Now I've got to run
   to make it out the door.
Angry, shouting moms
   chasing me away.
They wish they'd got here early
   they'd have Chiglet Chow today!

*Chorus*

Now the Chigs are fed
   and purring with delight.
Just don't let them know
   there's no more Chow in sight.
Damn! My careless son
   left water on the floor.
Now I've got a green-goo pond
   to shovel out the door.

*Chorus*

My family's mad as hell
   our Chigs have sloughed away.
I hope Diablo Labs
   can come to save the day.
Visiting their labs
   for Chiglets I can't wait.
When suddenly some Greenchig thugs
   came barging through the gate!

*Chorus*

Now I'm sitting in jail
   the Greenchig goons are dead.
And my right hand is smeared
   with paint of color red.
At least I've got some Chigs
   to bring my family.
Diablo Labs has given me
   not one, not two, but three!

Oh, Chiglet Chow, Chiglet Chow
   raise your Chigs up right!
Oh what fun to watch your Chigs
   ingest some Chow tonight!
Oh, Chiglet Chow, Chiglet Chow
   vets, they all agree.
Chiglet Chow will make them glow
   it's great for them and me.

--- Dave French

5. Adeste Wildcards
-------------------------
(to the tune of "Adeste Fideles")

O' come, all ye wildcards
come to join the battle!
O' come, all ye Space Marines
to fi-ight the chigs.
Come, mount your rockets
3 mics til igni-ition.

Chorus:
O' come, let us destroy them!
O' come, let us erase them!
O' come, let us prevail, mighty 58th!

O' let thy assult be
joyous and triumphant!
O' let thy hammerhead
wreak havoc today.
Fire all thy missles
take themout of Ross's sky.

*Chorus*

O' fly in formation
spacing forth as angles.
O' let thy voices sing out as one.
Sing ye the anthem
shout thy indignation.

*Chorus*

Return now, ye wildcards
to the Saratoga.
Let all who would join thee
taste thy victory.
This day is thine, and
let thee win tomorrow.

O' come, let us destroy them!
O' come, let us erase them!
O' come, let us prevail, mighty 58th!

--- Dave French

6. Hostile Chigger World
-------------------------------
(sung by T.C. McQueen, to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

58th! Grab your flight gear!
Got to go fly a light -year!
Your mission today, is far and away
Landing on a hostile Chigger world.

Hawkes and West! Cut the chatter!
If you're scared, it don't matter!
You're going in hot, like it or not
Landing on a hostile Chigger world.

Planetside, who knows what you'll encounter?
As you fight to take the battleground.
Better bring along a Geiger counter
In case the Chigs have spread nukes all around.

Later on, you'll perspire
As you crouch, under fire.
So keep your head down, and don't play around
Landing on a hostile Chigger world.

Use your rifles and field equipment!
Take the Chig encampment out by storm!
If we chase the out of there by Monday
Then Aerotech can come to terraform!

Now you know, it's a knife fight.
Check your six, keep your head right.
I'm counting on you, to see this one through
Landing on a hostile Chigger world.

--- Dave French

7. The Chigger and the AI
-----------------------------------
(to the tune of "The Holly and the Ivy")

The Chigger and The Al
When they are both in sight
Of all the foes that you've ever faced
The Chigger's a tougher fight.

Chorus:
The stalking of the Chigger
And the yelling of the Marines
The firing of the howitzer
And the silence of the dead.

The Chigger has an armor
As hard and tough as steel
But with a few barrages it
Crumbles into so much meal

*Chorus*

The Chigger has a weapon
A fearsome death machine
But with a few barrages you
Turn him to a pool of green.

*Chorus*

The Chigger has a spacecraft
As 'live as you or me
But with a few barrages it
Breaks up into space debris.

*Chorus* The Chigger has a buzz-beam
Whick shreds your bod' to bits
But with a mirror and a physics course
You'll make sure it never hits.

*Chorus*

The Chigger had an ally
The accursed Silicate
But with a few barrages they
Both, at your hands, meet their fate.

*Chorus*

The Chigger and the AI
When they are both in sight
Of all the foes that you've ever faced
the Chigger's a tougher fight.

--- Dave French

8. The twelve Days of Christmas
------------------------------------------

12 bowls of Chigchow
11 floating pancakes
10 Red Stink Creatures
9 Take-a-Chancers
8 Buzzing buzz-beams
7 Whining Weenies
6 Red Chig Bombers
FIVE SPACE MARINES!!!! (HOO RAH!)
4 hanger bays
3 AI's
2 Snarling Chigs
... and a brand new SA-43!!!

--- space-l

Created by: Christine M. Chase (honcho@teleport.com).
Version of: August 17, 1996