1. Q: What do you call a blonde with half a brain?

A: Gifted!

2. Q: How do blonde braincells die?

A: Alone.

3. Q: What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

A: Pregnant.

5. Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?

A: Artificial intelligence.

7. Q: Why aren't blondes good cattle herders?

A: Because they can't even keep two calves together!

8. Q: What did the blonde's right leg say to the left leg?

A: Nothing. They've never met.

9. Q: Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?

A: Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!

10. Q: When does a brunette have 1/2 of a brain?

A: After a dye job.

11. Q: Why didn't the blonde want a window seat on the plane?

A1: She'd just dyed her hair.
A2: She'd just blow dried her hair and she didn't want it blown around too much.

12. Q: Why do blondes wear their hair up?

A: To catch everything that goes over their heads.

13. Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

A: You can park in the handicap zone.

14. Q: What was the blonde psychic's greatest achievment?

A: An IN-body experience!

18. Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?

A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

19. Q: How do you get a blondes eyes to twinkle?

A: Shine a torch in her ears.

20. Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

A: It takes too long to retrain them.

21.
Q1 How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's white-out on the screen.

Q2: How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?

A: There's writing on the white-out.

22. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?

A: You only have to punch information into a computer once.

24. Q: What did the blonde think of the new computer?

A: She didn't like it because she couldn't get channel 9.

25. Q: Why do blondes wear shoulder pads?

A: (With a rocking of the head from side to side) I dunno!

26. Q: How do you kill a blonde?

A: Put spikes in their shoulder pads.

27. Q: How do blondes pierce their ears?

A: They put tacks in their shoulder pads.

28. Q: Why don't blondes eat Jello?

A: They can't figure out how to get two cups of water into those little packages.

30. Q: Why don't blondes eat pickles?

A: Because they can't get their head in the jar.

32. Q: Why do blondes wear hoop earrings?

A: They have to have some place to rest their ankles.

33. Q: Why do blondes where big hoop earrings?

A: To put their feet through.

35. Q: Why do blondes wear green lipstick?

A: Because red means stop.

42. Q: What's the mating call of the blonde?

A: "I'm *sooo* drunk!"

43. Q: What is the mating call of the ugly blonde?

A: (Screaming) "I said: I'm drunk!"

44. Q: How did the blonde die ice fishing?

A: She was run over by the zambonis machine.

45. Q: What's a brunette's mating call?

A: Has that blonde gone yet?
A2: When is that blonde bitch going to leave!?
A3: "All the blondes have gone home!"

46: Q: Why do blondes drive BMWs?

A: Because they can spell it.

47. Q: Why do blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax now in effect in Canada)

A: Because they can spell it.

48. Q: What is 74 to a blonde?

A: 69 plus G.S.T.

49. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shoes?

A: Toes Go In First.

50. Q: Why do blondes have TGIF on their shirts?

A: Tits Go In Front.

51. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?

A: An interpreter.

52. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?

A: A mental block.

53. Q: How do you change a blonde's mind?

A1: Blow in her ear.
A2: Buy her another beer.

54. Q: What do you say to a blonde that won't give in?

A: "Have another beer."

55. Q: What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?

A: Pack their lunch and send them to work.

56. Q: What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?

A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.

65. Q: Why is a blonde like a door knob?

A1: Because everybody gets a turn.
A2: So they know when to stop having sex!

71. Q: What does a blonde say when you blow in their ear?

A: "Thanks for the refill!"

72. Q: What is it called when a blonde blows in another blonde's ear?

A: Data transfer.

74. Q: How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?

A: She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did with her pencil.

75. Q: What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her nametag) ?

A: "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"

76. Q: Why do blondes have more fun?

A1: Because they don't know any better.
A2: They are easier to keep amused.

77. Q: How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?

A1: "What's a lightbulb?"
A2: One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3: Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"

78. Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?

A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"

79. Q: What do you call a basement full of blondes?

A: A wine cellar.

80. Q: Why are there no dumb brunettes?

A: Peroxide.

81. Q: Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?

A: They're doing research on black holes.

85. Q: What does a blonde say when she gives birth?

A: Gee, Are you sure it's mine?

86. Q: What did the blonde say when she found out she was pregnant?

A: "Are you sure it's mine?"

87. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?

A: A wind tunnel.

88. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?

A: A dope ring.

89. Q: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill.
Who picks it up?
A1: The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
A2: None of them. There is no such thing as Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy or a smart blonde and the dumb blonde thought it was a gum wrapper.

90. Q: Why did the blonde scale the glass wall?

A: To see what was on the other side.

91. Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?

A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

92. Q: Why do blondes take the pill?

A: So they know what day of the week it is.

93. Q: Why did the blonde stop using the pill?

A: Because it kept falling out.

94. Q: Why did the blonde have a sore navel?

A: Because her boyfriend was also blond!

95. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first?

A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.

96. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?

A: Her IQ goes up!

97. Q: What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?

A: A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.

98. Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?

A: You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.

99. Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?

A: You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.

100. Q: What do you call a blonde standing on her head?

A: A Brunette with bad breath!

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