Mockfear!
"Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life."
The child thought about this for a moment, then said, "So
why is the groom wearing black?"
A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon
dragged on and on. Finally, she leaned over to her mother and
whispered, "Mommy, if we give him the money now, will he let
us go?"
Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their
fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on
a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad
scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon.
And it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she
requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for
her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out
while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when
I'm dead."
(Not a church joke)
A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would
you do if you had to arrest your own mother?"
His reply was, "Call for backup."
A Sunday school teacher asked the children just before she
dismissed them to go to church, "And why is it necessary to be
quiet in church?"
Annie replied, "Because people are sleeping."
A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary
took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied:
"They couldn't get a baby sitter."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments
with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment
to "Honor thy Father and thy Mother," she asked "Is
there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and
sisters? "
Without missing a beat one little boy answered, "Thou
shall not kill."
At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything,
including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when
they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in
the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and
said, "Johnny, what is the matter?"
Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think
I'm going to have a wife."
Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a
strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do
you think about all this Satan stuff?"
The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your dad."
Teman Johnson's Friendly Listening Post!
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