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Tech Support

Tech Support People wonder why are they paid so much for just being on the phone.
Take a look:

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."

Customer: "Ok."

Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"

Customer: "No."

Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"

Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."

Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting the same error message."

Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"

Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"

Customer: "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."

Tech Support: "Tell me what you've done."

Customer: "I typed 'A:SETUP'."

Tech Support: "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."

Customer: "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk'."

Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."

Customer: "What?"

Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"

Customer: "No..."

Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"

Tech Support: ?!%#$

Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?"

Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"

Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"

Customer: "A white one."

Tech Support: "Type 'A:' at the prompt."

Customer: "How do you spell that?"

Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"

Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)

Tech Support: "Well then we can't-"

Customer: "It says 'no dial tone'."

Tech Support: "That's because you're on the line with me right now. You need to-"

Customer: "No, that's not it. It does this all the time. I just have to try a few times, and it will let me through."

Tech Support: "No, ma'am. It's not even trying to dial right now because you're on the phone with me."

Customer: "It must be busy. I'll try again later."

Tech Support: "What's on your screen right now?"

Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store."

Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"

Customer: "Pentium."

Customer: "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal abortion."

Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."

Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"

Customer: "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print a document, but the computer won't boot properly."

Tech Support: "What does it say?"

Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."

Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"

Customer: "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel inside."

Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're open 24 hours."

Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"

Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"

Customer: "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."

Tech Support: "Well?"

Customer: "How do I know when it's ready?"

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