Title: Breaking Point
Author: Chris F.
Email: penguin_505@yahoo.com
Distribution: Anywhere you want :)
Rating: Pg-13 for language
 

The steam felt so good around Jesse's shoulders, beginning to drain away the tension of the long awful day. As the water turned cold, he could hear Sean outside yelling "Dude, are you EVER coming out of there?" He sighed and walked out into the locker room.

Sean was sitting on the bench, drying his dark curls with a towel. He stood up when he saw his friend. "Shit, those bruises are pretty bad....I shouldn't of left you there alone with Kane." Jesse waved off his apology and started to dress. He pulled out a pair of sweatpants and...

"Awwww fuck." He pitched the New Age Outlaws shirt on the floor.

Sean retrieved the thrown apparel and rested a hand on his friend's quivering shoulder. "You miss Billy?"

"What the fuck do you think?" Jesse's voice was tense with anger. The frustration quickly drained out of him when he saw Sean's hurt expression. "Sorry Sean, didn't mean to go off on you...yes, I miss him, I wish he were here, I wish I'd had the balls to stand up to Hunter in the first place..."

"And what would've happened if you did, Jess? You'd both be in the hospital!" Sean ran a finger along a scar on Jesse's arm, a memory of the night they had walked out on their leader. "Hunter's hurt all of us, no one could have expected you to stand up to him."

"Billy expected me to. He was all that mattered, and he hates me now."

Sean sighed. "You don't know that. Jesse, you need to talk to him."

"I've tried, he won't answer the phone."

"So go to him. Spend some time in Texas. We can both go, make it a little vacation." His voice dropped to a stage whisper "Get away from Hunter for awhile."

Sean's goofiness made Jesse laugh. "Ok, ok, we'll go." His voice got serious. "Thank you Sean. It's nice to know that even if Billy's gone...I still have you."

Sean hugged his friend briefly. "And I'll always be here. But the important thing now is we get Billy back."

__ __ __

"So you really think he'll talk to us?" Jesse asked. He was trying to pay attention to the road ahead of him, but they were very close to where Billy lived and the nervousness kept building.

"Of course he will. We're DX, we're tight, remember?"

"Oh stop with the business spiel." Jesse grinned, but his humor soon fell. "What if he doesn't? You and Kane were tight and you haven't forgiven him for hurting you..."

"You mind if we don't talk about how Kane hurt me? Plus, they're very different situations."

"Sean, I really don't know what to do without him." Jesse brushed away a stray tear.

"Just relax, everything's going to be fine....Jess....Jess please watch where you're going...."

"Huh?" But it was too late. In the few seconds Jesse had been trying to get his emotions under control, a car had run the red light, and there was no time to stop, the other car plowed straight into the passenger side of the DX members' vehicle.

__ __ __

Jesse struggled awake. He was in a hospital room, an IV running out of his wrist. Nothing seemed to hurt too bad...yet...but he couldn't remember anything after the crash. Finally he noticed the nurse standing by the monitors. "Where...where's Sean?"

"Your friend who was brought in with you? He's in his own room...he lost a lot of blood, had to have a transfusion. We were really low on his blood type, luckily we have a patient recovering from surgery who agreed to donate some."

"Is he ok?"

The nurse's expression grew serious. "He's in very serious condition, still in a coma."

"Can I see him?" Jesse felt numb. One of his best friends was seriously hurt, and it was all because of his carelessness, his stupidity.

The nurse let him go to see Sean. Jesse sat in a chair beside his friend's bed, holding his hand, praying for him to wake up. Sean was a ghostly white, his entire right side decimated. His right leg was a lump under the sheets with the heavy casts going all the way up it. Cuts decorated his face. He barely looked alive. "Not you too Sean." he whispered. "You're all I have left, please don't leave me..."

There was a small noise as the door opened, and Jesse turned to see one of the last people he would have expected. "Billy?"

"What the hell are you doing here?" Billy asked. "Trying to wreck someone else's life?"

"What am I doing here? I could ask you the same thing." Something clicked inside Jesse, and he got up. "Were you the blood donor?"

Billy looked at him strangely. "How...how do you know about that? It was just some kid in a car accident...."

Jesse moved aside so Billy could see the hospitalized man's face. "It was Sean."

Billy froze. "I didn't know..." For a moment he seemed like he was going to continue, but he snapped back into anger. "Well I hope you don't get too pissed at him when he can't be at your beck and call cuz he's hurt."

"Wait....Billy I'm sorry!" But Jesse's former partner didn't return. He tuned back to the bed, only to see Sean's heart monitor start beeping slower and slower until an alarm went off. Doctors rushed into the room, shoving Jesse out into the hallway. "He's gonna code!" one yelled.

Jesse walked away from the room. Sean was dying, he could feel it, and Billy was gone to him. Both losses were his own fault. Not only had he lost the only person who had ever loved him, he had lost the last friend he had. He found his duffel bag and pulled out the razor blade he had inside. Slowly, with purpose, he drew the blade across his wrists. He had finally hit his breaking point.

__ __ __

"Jess?" The voice was horse, raspy.

"Sean?" Slowly, Jesse's eyes opened. His friend was sitting in a wheelchair next to his bed, tears running down his face. "Sean, why are you crying?"

"Because you scared the hell outta me! Do you know what it's like, waking up to hear ''Well Mr. Waltman, you're lucky to be alive, and so is that friend of yours who just slashed his wrists in the bathroom?'"

"I'm sorry Sean..." He reached up to touch his friend, but his arm was kept down by the IV needle in it.

Sean brushed a stray braid out of Jesse's face. "Jesse....why?"

"I thought I killed you Sean...there were so many doctors and they said you were really bad off...and Billy still hates me..."

"You saw him?"

Jesse nodded, sending tears spilling down his face. "He was your blood donor."

"You're kidding! The nurses told me the donor wished to remain anonymous." Sean bent down and used his good hand to wipe the tears off Jesse's cheeks. "Hey...It's ok now, I'm gonna be fine, and as for Billy...I still think you should talk to him. But please, don't do that to me again. I don't want to lose you Jess." It wasn't much longer until Jesse drifted off to sleep.

Sean sat at his bedside until a nurse poked her head in. "Mr. Waltman? You have a visitor."

He turned his head and saw someone he very much didn't expect. "Kane?!"

"You're alive."

Sean shivered at his former lover's voice. "Yeah, sorry, guess you'll have to be the one to kill me after all."

"I didn't come here to argue." Kane sat down in a chair, making it much easier on Sean's painful neck. "I wanted to explain."

There was no doubt in Sean's mind what Kane was talking about. "Nothin' to explain." Sean said sullenly. "You left me for some slut who ended up leaving you."

"That's what I need to explain. I didn't leave you Sean, Tori was just my friend...you just jumped to the wrong conclusion and wouldn't let me tell you."

Sean froze. "No...Kane she told me she was screwing you...she TOLD me..."

Kane reached out to hold Sean's unbroken hand. "She lied to you."

Sean closed his eyes against the pain. "Why do you hate me then? Why do you keep coming after me?"

"Because every time you get hurt and Hunter doesn't help you, it drives one more wedge between you two. It's not hard to tell he's hurting you Sean, I wanted to get you away."

"You picked a great way to go about it." Sean said sarcastically.

"I didn't know what else to do. You wouldn't listen to me." He saw Sean was still upset. "I never wanted to hurt you....but I did and I'm sorry."

Sean squeezed Kane's hand. "So you didn't just get sick of me?"

"I could never get sick of you."

Sean reached up to pull off Kane's mask. "It's been so long since I've seen your face...I missed you so much...."

Kane got up and moved to a better position to kiss Sean, which he then did. "I missed you too baby. I'm sorry this whole mess started. I wish I could make it up to you..."

Sean broke the kiss. "Well....if you could talk to someone for me, it would be greatly appreciated..."

__ __ __

"Hey this is not the way to where I need to go...why are you pushing me...Kane, is there something going on that I don't know about?" Billy Gunn was not pleased. He had been safely on his way to physical therapy when Kane had come out of nowhere and asked...or demanded....that Billy follow him. When they arrived at their destination, Kane gently shoved Billy in the door, then went back to Sean's room to try and finish what they had started earlier.

Billy looked around the room, saw Jesse sitting on the hospital bed. "Oh come on, you weren't hurt that bad, what are you still doing here?" He leaned angrily against the wall.

Silently, Jesse held up one bandaged wrist as his ex-partner's eyes widened. "You...shit, you DIDN'T?!" Jesse nodded tiredly. "Jesus Jesse, why?"

"Why does anyone do it? I didn't want to keep going anymore." Jesse's voice was flat. As surprised as he was to see Billy, he was too exhausted and depressed to feel much.

"What? You have DX....you have Sean..."

Jesse forgot how much he wanted the other man's forgiveness and lashed out bitterly. "Oh yeah, and there's a great reason to live. Yup, getting my ass kicked by Hunter is something I look forward to daily. Watching Sean take so much pain, watching him almost die...now THAT's fun."

"Oh come on, that's not enough reason to..." Billy trailed off.

"You can't even say it, can you?" Angry tears ran down Jesse's face. "It's not enough reason to kill myself, that's what you're trying to get at. And you know what? You're goddam right. I'm used to the abuse, I can live with Hunter's shit. And Sean, he was just the icing on the misery cake." His eyes met Billy's, and instantly, his resolve dissolved. "What am I talking about? I'm sorry Billy, I think I'm going nuts..."

Billy sat down on the edge of the bed with a sigh. "No you aren't. Just say it. It's my fault. You did it cuz of what I said. I know how much Sean being hurt was crushing you and I was an asshole anyways."

"You had every right. After what I did...I'm surprised you're even talking to me."

"You seem to forget all the stuff I've done, all the stuff we've just swept under the rug and moved on about. And hell, I know why you did it, Hunter was pissy that night, it woulda been a death sentence to go against him."

Jesse shook with repressed sobs. "Billy...I'm so sorry...."

Billy used his good arm to pull Jesse against him. "I know you are. And I'm sorry too. But let's be sorry together now, ok?" Jesse's arms wrapped around Billy's waist, careful of the injured shoulder.

There was a quiet knock on the door and Kane rolled Sean into the room. "Hey...hey! Are we interrupting?" Sean asked cheerfully.

Jesse let out a watery chuckle. "No, no...although I'm surprised you and Kane could emerge from your room long enough to come visit."

Sean blushed, but stuck out his lower lip in a dramatic pout. "Kane's being mean! He won't screw me till I get better...do you know how long that's gonna be?" His expression turned serious. "So you two are getting along now?"

Jesse looked up at Billy. "I dunno. Are we?"

Billy smiled. "Yeah...you're too cute to be mad at."

"Awwww...that's just so sweet!" Sean said. "C'mon Kane, let's leave these guys alone and go cuddle or something."

Kane pushed Sean out, saying quietly to Billy and Jesse "The drugs are messing with his brain."

When they were gone, Jesse leaned back on Billy. "So, how'd your surgery go?"

"Real well....oh shit! That's right...I had a physical therapy appointment."

Jesse got up. "Oh. You should get going then."

Billy looked at him, sitting on the bed trying not to look like he was lonely already. "You wanna come with me?"

Jesse blinked in surprise. "Are you sure you want me to? Your doctor might watch Raw...run me out for being the one to hurt you."

Billy smiled and kissed Jesse's forehead. "Then I'll find a new doctor. C'mon, I'm late already, let's get moving."

"Whatever you say..." They walked out, effortlessly slipping back into the unity they had always had between them.