Title: Falling Away From Me
Author: Chris F.
Rating: R
CONTENT WARNING: violence, language, attempted rape

*** Jericho's POV ***

I pressed myself against the locker, trying to put as much space between me and Benoit as possible. "What do we need to talk about?"

"A lot of things. For one how you invaded my dressing room last week." Out of nowhere, he hit me in the stomach with his free hand and I doubled over in pain. He shoved me down and knelt over me, punching me in the face over and over again. Acting on instinct alone, I pushed him off of me with my legs. Struggling to my feet, I hit him with a horribly off-center punch which nearly caused me to fall. He seized the opportunity while I was off-balance to trip me. I hit my face on the floor, feeling blood gush out of my nose with the impact. I barely managed to roll over onto my back before he kicked me sharply in the side. I heard a loud crack that could only be my ribs breaking and all of a sudden, I couldn't breathe. Benoit grabbed me by my hair and jerked my head up so I looked at him. I could hardly focus on him as he snarled "That was business, but now this is pleasure." He continued to pull me up by my hair and forced me to my knees. "Suck me, you little bitch"

The pain and fear wouldn't let me think clearly, and all of a sudden it was like it was fifteen years ago and I was that terrified kid in the locker room. My shaking hands moved up to his waistband and I swallowed a wave of nausea.....

"What the HELL is going on?" The strong female voice rang out over the locker room.

Benoit looked up, and in his shock at being found he let go of my hair. I dropped to the floor, curling up around my injured side. Dimly, I felt Joanie kneel by my side, gently touching my face, as Eddie walked up to Benoit. "I'd suggest you get your ass out of here." he said, and his normally chipper voice was dead serious. Benoit glared at him for a moment, then picked up his bag and walked away.

Eddie closed and locked the locker room door and knelt on the other side of me. "Man...what happened?"

I couldn't answer them, I was trembling too hard and the pin kept radiating from my side. "Chris?" Joanie's voice was soft and soothing as she stroked my hair. "It's ok, he's gone now, tell me what happened." Slowly, I looked up at her and she smiled comfortingly. "Do you want me to get Hunter?"

"No!" The word tore from me before I could stop it.

Eddie looked at me in concern. "Well we gotta tell him you know."

I paused to collect myself, to ignore the tiny urge inside me to find Hunter and throw myself into his arms, and said "I can't deal with Hunter right now. Just...can you just help me up? I'll just say I fell down..."

"Chris, let me see you ribs." Joanie's voice left no room for challenge. I allowed her to lift my shirt and whimpered as she gently touched where Benoit had kicked me. "Chris, I think your ribs are broken. You need to go to the hospital."

Oh shit....if I go to the hospital, Hunter will find out what happened...he'll know I wasn't even strong enough to fight off Benoit...but Joanie and Eddie are already helping me to stand, letting me lean on their shoulders as we made our way to their car.

***

I sat in the waiting room of the hospital, trying to breathe past the tight bandages around my ribs. Eddie is trying to be cheery in the chair next to me as Joanie comes to sit down on my other side. "Hunter insisted that he be the one to take you back to the hotel, so I’m just gonna wait here with you ‘till he gets here, ok?" I nodded, there really wasn’t much room for argument. She leaned forward to make eye contact with me. "You still didn’t tell me, what happened? Did you and Benoit get in a fight…?"

I closed my eyes, wishing I could just forget everything that’s happened. "I don’t really know what happened, I was just there in the locker room and he attacked me."

Eddie appeared to think for a moment, then blurted out "What about what you were doing when we came in. It looked like…"

I turned sharply to look at him, wincing as my injured muscles pulled. "Forget it ever happened." He started to protest, but I cut him off, saying "I don’t want to think about that, I don’t want anyone to remind me of it…" I looked over at Joanie. "And you can’t tell Hunter. You CAN’T."

She reached out to touch my shoulder in a calming gesture. "Ok Chris, I won’t tell him, because I think you need to be the one to talk to him about it."

I was saved from responding to that by a commotion in the hallway as Hunter came running towards us. "Chris?" He crouched down in front of the chair I was sitting in so we were eye level. "Are you ok? Joanie said you were attacked…."

"I’m fine. My ribs are a little cracked, but they’ll heal." I’m a little overwhelmed by his concern.

He stood up, pacing angrily. "I should have been there….dammit, if I wouldn’t have lost my temper earlier I would’ve been there and this would never have happened…"

"Hunter…" I absently rubbed one of my sore eyes. "It isn’t your fault, ok? Can we please just go home?"

He rushed back to my chair. "Yeah….God, I’m sorry, you must be exhausted…" I managed a weak smile as he helped me up and out of the hospital. We sat quietly on the road back to the hotel until he finally said "So…"

I glanced over at him from where I had been staring out the window. "Yeah?"

"Are…are you sure you’re ok? I mean, I know you’ve got cracked ribs, but…like…are you ok inside?"

The twinge was back, the one that kept screaming at me to tell him what was going on, but I pushed past it. "I really do appreciate the concern, but I’m fine. Inside and out. It’s not like it’s the first time I’ve been attacked." It’s not the first time I’ve been almost raped either, but I get the feeling that’s not one of those things that get better with time.

We got to the hotel and Hunter immediately forced me into bed, not giving me a choice in whether I wanted to do anything else first. I laid on my back and pretended to fall asleep as he curled up on the other side of the bed. When I heard his breathing ease into the rhythm of sleep, I slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. I looked at my bruised face in the mirror, the black eye, remembering all the ones I’d gotten in high school. Closing my eyes, I sank to the floor. It happened again. I finally allowed myself to really let that thought enter my head. I got stronger, I got bigger, I got self-confident, but in the end I still couldn’t keep the inevitable from happening.

Why did I even try? I always was a weakling for other people to prey on and that’s all I’ll ever be. Hunter was probably still with me out of pity alone, why would he love someone as pathetic and screwed-up as me. I’m hopeless…..

My train of thought was broken by a knock on the bathroom door. "Chris? Are you alright in there?" Hunter asked.

My mind searched for an excuse. "I, uhm, I got up to go to the bathroom, and I got really dizzy and fell."

The door opened slowly and Hunter walked in. "I knew you weren’t ok…" he muttered, almost to himself, as he picked me up and carried me to the bed. "Now stay here this time, I might not wake up and rescue you next time you fall down." He was trying to be joking, but the attempt fell flat and we both knew it. The two of us fell into an uneasy sleep, him obviously worried about me and me unable to forget the helplessness and fear.
 
______
Day is here fading
That’s when I’m insane
I flirt with suicide
Sometimes kill the pain
I can’t always say
It’s gonna be better tomorrow
Falling away from me….
"Falling Away From Me", Korn